Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Larger families

Find out all about large family cars, holidays and more right here.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

4 children- is it right? how do you cope

63 replies

PoppyC · 28/03/2010 15:52

Am just about to have first baby and have always had fantasies of very large family, (preferably 4) maybe because I am an only child.

So if you have lots of kids do you manage ok? is it hard getting all their needs met?
Or even if you were one of many, do the benefits outweigh the cons?

Just to point out this isn't a pressing issue for me right now, just wondering!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

sarahbuff · 15/04/2010 17:10

I would say this for large families. Every person I know who is an only child says their one wish would have been to have siblings. Every person I know who has 3+ siblings says they loved it and were glad to have a big family. I have three boys, and pregs with our fourth (please, Lord, let it be a girl!!!) =) and I love every minute. Despite the fact that I am not a clean freak, my house is NOT a bomb site, I home school my oldest (nearly 5), and my washing machine is only on 3-4 days of the week (we always put clothes that aren't dirty back in the drawer at the end of the day, only possible since the older two were over 3 really). All my boys get loads of attention, don't stop talking all day, and never get lonely or bored. We meet with friends occasionally, but I love that they always have each other to play with. They are quite close in age (ages 4, 3 and 2), and they have similar interests, and always look out for each other and are very protective over each other. I wouldn't have it any other way.

I would pose this question to others, though... Why is it that whenever I take them out, despite the fact that they are all polite and well behaved (as best young boys can be), I get people openly staring at me as if I must be mad to have so many children? It's not as if I have seven of them!! =) I have found Britain (I am from the US) to be much less child-friendly than the US, I don't know if it is because people consider it to be financially irresponsible to have a large family??? My husband runs his own business and we claim no benefits, so I don't appreciate the CONSTANT "My, you have your hands full" comment (it is always the exact same words, too), whether said kindly or rudely. Is it really their business? Sorry, didn't mean to rant. ;)

Diege · 15/04/2010 19:37

Lol SARAHBUFF, I just 'breathe' through the comments..wait till you have your 4th . I have 3 dds (8, 7, 4) and a ds (9 mths)and am contemplating no.5...the comments thing is really putting me off though (more from work etc than strangers, which is a shame). Anyway, congrats about no.4 - tis a doddle

verybusyspider · 15/04/2010 21:09

lol sarahbuff - I have 3 ds's too (3, 2 and 10mo) and contempating no4. I get 'you have your hands full' all the time, I genuinely think that people think having 3 is madness and having 3 boys (like you can choose ) is just crazy - no suitable come back tho but I like it cause I'm doing something they clearly think they couldn't cope with (or thats my spin on it anyway )

MillyMollyMoo · 15/04/2010 23:29

sarah I love it when people say you've got your hands full. I have three beautiful little girls trotting behind me through town in their boater hats looking like something out of enid bylton today and couldn't have been prouder.
I smile and say yes I have because what could anyone else have that compares with my joy.

Jaquelinehyde · 15/04/2010 23:32

See how you feel after the first, then decide.

Oh and 4 children is not a very large family, it's not even a large family actually.

sarahbuff · 17/04/2010 18:17

Hahaha, the only comeback I ever have verybusyspider is "All day, every day." After all, I chose to have them, and its not like I'm complaining about it or something.

To MillyMollyMoo, I completely agree. I don't put in all the time and effort raising my children without having plenty of proud moments. =) Stick whatever anyone else thinks!

allbie · 17/04/2010 20:22

I have 4,eldest 16 then 12,10 and 3. Two of each! I don't really find it hard to give them time but i hate all the house stuff! I dont iron and i still manage to run 3 times a week and work 12.5 hrs per week. Just go with the flow!!!!!!IT'S GREAT!

saslou · 19/04/2010 11:12

I have 3 DSs (13,10,8) and 1DD (2.6). I too get comments about our family being large and 'a handful'. Ithink it is just because it is unusual nowadays to have more than 3. I also had all the comments about how we must have been desperate for a girl, having had 3 boys. I am very happy to have a dd, but would have loved my child just the same had she been a boy. I particularly wish that people wouldn't make these comments in front of my sons. I love my family and think it is a total joy to watch them all playing together.

My one tip with regard to laundry is to stop pairing up socks. It used to drive me mad, so now I only do it for the baby!

girlsyearapart · 19/04/2010 11:52

Just posting to say I love the enthusiasm on this thread

My aim is for 4..

At the mo have two dds who are 1.5 and 2.5 and am due dc3 in August so will have 3 under 3 for a little while.

My plan is to wait until dc3 is 1 then ttc number 4 (hoping it will only be 1 baby) so the age gaps will still be small.

I do reserve the right to change my mind if dc3 turns out to be Damian from the Omen though

sarahbuff · 19/04/2010 14:52

Girlsyearapart, that is pretty much exactly the gap between my three, adn I found the third so easy. He just fit in around us all, I breastfed him and my 1.5yr old (had to stop bfing my middle one when I was about 5 months pregs so just picked up again after no.3 was born). I found a third totally easy, much more so than when I had the first two 14 months apart. Hope the birth is easy for you and you find it easy with 3 under 3!

girlsyearapart · 19/04/2010 17:37

thanks sarahbuff

That's v reassuring to hear- all I seem to be getting are negative comments in RL.

iwastooearlytobeayummymummy · 19/04/2010 18:50

I love having 4 and now eldest is away at uni still feel really happy when 'all my chicks are in the nest' for hols etc

My only regret is not claiming £1 from everyone who ever said to me 'i don't know how you do it'

i'd be rather well off by now

agree with everyone about the washing, tho'
Often the pile for sorting was taller than the children!

fernie3 · 19/04/2010 19:42

I have three (ages 5,3 and 1) and I am 24 weeks pregnant with out fourth. When I was pregnant the first time I was convinced I would only ever have one baby and as you can see that quickly changed. I have found three (cant speak for four yet!) is wonderful and I cant wait to add another one. I dont have any family to help so it IS tough sometimes to be just me and my husband always totally responsible with no back up if you see what I mean? but really that would be the same with one. We have routines which work well and my middle son needs very clear boundaries for the day so we have a wall timetable to organize everything. I hate housework I am pretty much never on top of it and people would describe my house and noisy and chaotic I think!. I love it it fits me perfectly.If you want everything in its place, perfect home and most of all any sense of control then dont have three (or four!). I always laugh when people say things like "how do you have the time" about making clothes for example because I have found that the more I have the less of my time they take up as they tend to get on with their own thing I would say that the actual amount of childcare has never been an issue to me - housework yes an issue.

Flip

1 2 3