Is going from two children to three harder/easier than one child to two?

[kimlouiseb]

I have heard some people say the jump from two to three is easier than the jump from one to two. Would you agree?

We have two boys aged 3 and 5 and are hoping to have a third at some point - probably once DS2 starts school.

Just wondering the above really - I know in terms of space it will be harder i.e we will need a bigger car and possibly a bigger house, but is it harder physically and emotionally? Bearing in mind that my sons will both be school age by the time we have a third.

Thanks

It's easier IMO, dd was 7 and ds1 was 3 1/2 when i had ds2.

He was an incredibly gorgeous and good baby and now is an incredibly gorgeous and good 12 yr old

Main problem with having three is that things come in packs of four, family tickets are ussually for four, and of course you only have two hands!

Easier! Found number (currently 8 months old) a breeze. It's busy, my laundry is never ending but physically and emotionally it's fine. Nothing can be harder then going from 0-1 IMO!

Number 3

Harder IMO, you just haven't got enough time for all.

ooh I am very interested in these answers - currently pg with no.3 - DD is just 4 and DS is nearly 2 so much younger than yours. I suppose in a lot of ways it will be easier that your two are older, but at the same time you will be very used to having a good night's sleep, not changing nappies etc so might come as more of a shock?

I found 1 - 2 really easy. Small age gap (21 months) and just got on with it.

2 - 3 knocked me sideways for about a year. Had a 2 1/2 yr gap between 2 and 3, don't know if that made any difference.

I just couldn't do everything that needed to be done. And I was sooooo tired.

Want to have number 4, but can't quite pluck up the courage yet. Youngest is getting on for 3 yrs and life is finally getting easier.

I think easier too. I have 3 ds's, like McDreamy, the only thing I find more difficult is the laundry. Life is just so much more fun though

Easier in terms of yer actual parenting. Dd2 is a joy.

Not great for babysitting. Or weekends with friends etc - accommodating 5 people is a big ask.

Oh & you have to negotiate about presents. Both my db & my bf have singletons, & now they're all getting older, I've had to institute 'token £5 & under presents only' - the guilt was getting too much for me!

Seriously, it's all fine.

The world is made for 2 adults and 2 children you've no idea the extra financial/emotional/physical work the 3rd makes.

"The world is made for 2 adults and 2 children" - what world is this?

Of course it is harder going from 2-3 interms of having enough time and spare pairs of hands. BUT in terms of experience and being relaxed about parenting its far easier.

we're still in the thick of the baby phase with ds3, he's 17wks and its hard but much easier than 1-2 and 0-1 is the hardest by far, I can actually remember bringing ds1 home and thinking 2 parents isn't enough how are we going to manage and now we are out numbered it all seems fine
ds1 is almost 3.5yrs and ds2 22 months (18months between each one). Not much sleep is hard, the washing machine is on constantly and I feel like my house is a bomb site, getting out now takes way longer and there really aren't enough hours in the day once you factored in naps, preschool run and meals but I love it, I want another one, dh will need some more persuading tho!

Erm everything from Hotels, to airlines, to days out, to schools expecting your help once the youngest is in Nursery ie when your eldest is in year 1 at the latest.
And then there's the bigger car, bigger house, extra school or Uni fee's to find.
I have a bigger family but don't be under any illusions just how big a jump 2 is to 3.

We've found it easier so far (3 weeks in) but I think it's because the age gap is bigger this time - older dcs are 4 and nearly 3 and it is definitely easier having 3 under 5 than 2 under 2.

The older 2 have been playing together for most of the day. Noisy, but they haven't taken much effort.

Pregnancy was tough though.

easy. dd2 is and always has been v easy going and flexible - not much of a choice for her really! plus you will already have loads of clothes and toys etc.

... although you will spend too much of your time sorting through boxes and bags of them all!

Definitely harder from 2 to 3 imo - definitely!!!! Suddenly, the washing, expenses and general having to do things seems to be far more apparent than when number 2 arrived!

Sorry, I know that sounds negative. However, if you want a third I wouldn't let any of the above put you off.

I'm 3 weeks in to number 3 (dd2) and can definitely say it's easier. DS is just 4 and dd1 is 19 months.

I don't know that dd2 is a particularly easy baby although she doesn't cry much (I just bf her whenever she wants, hold her as much as poss and she sleeps with us as night).

I think it's mostly my attitude - I'm totally ok now with not doing anything apart from stuff with the house and with the kids (with ds I was running my own business, with dd1 I worked part time for someone else, now nothing!). That probably sounds horrendous to lots of you, but it's like a weight off my shoulders that I can now immerse myself in my family and not worry that I'm not also doing XYZ. I can't even remember what I used to do with all my time - watch telly mostly!

I wouldn't for all the world be a first-time mum again, that was the hardest, and 1-2 was hard because we were still in a tiny 2 bed flat. We've moved now, and definitely the more children you have, I think the more they just slot in. (Can you tell I wouldn't mind having more?! )

I've found this thread really interesting as I'm thinking of going for number 3.
I had a big gap between number 1 and 2 (7 years) and my second is now 3 and she will be starting nursery in Jan.
Love reading peoples experiences, oh I'm so broody

Have 3, 3 is fab! I found the first six months of having my third pretty tough but now, it is great.

Found 1 to 2 more difficult than 2 to 3.

14 months between first 2 which might explain why.

Am preg now with no.4 and not worried about 3 to 4 either - I am already short of hands/arms.

teameric me too! I have a nine year gap between DS1 and DS2 (who is 8 months now). I am terribly broody, and have been almost since the moment DS2 arrived. I keep putting it down to bf hormones or a reluctance to see DS2 move from babyhood but the desire to have another just won't pass. DH wanted to chuck the stage one car seat yesterday and I was trying to think of reasons for him not to, without actually telling him I'd love another. I really do think no.3 would slot in but I have to be realistic. DH is 47 and I'm 40 in March. We were really lucky to get DS2 after so long of ttc, so I think I just have to be grateful for what we've got. It is wonderful having a little baby in the house again and it's been much easier this time round

i'm thinking of number 3 soon. i have dds aged 5 and 7 already. i think the age gap is relevant, surely. ..

i expect it it be easier than going form 2 to 3 in terms of having my hands full- as my dds are so independent.

in terms of meeting all differing interests/ needs at once, it may be harder as they get older.

in terms of my own parenting skills, i'll be more relaxed, i hope.

in terms of readjusting to nappyhood, it may be harder.

Yes 2 to 3 is easy - i have 4 and again the extra one is not too hard - though i am not having 5 as it is so expensive to do anything

Just be prepared for the costs of extra kids - everything is a how much is it going to cost

e.g. went to France for our hols 2.50 Euros for an ice cream - every round of ice creams cost £10

BUT

Just got back from Tenerife - went all inclusive and it was great the kids had as many ice creams and drinks, toasties etc as they wanted!

It's all worth it as they are all so different

My advice is.... Treat them all differently but fairly and never the same. Dont get trapped by 'treating them the same'

My son is hard to buy for but when we spend it's expensive such as scalextric etc. The girls get loads of bits such as hair bobbles, pens etc... all the time and he excepts. He's also the oldest, so can cycle to his friends but there is no way his younger sister could do that yet...

AND (am i ranting) I go bonkers when they say "Can i have an ice lolly because M has one" - i say "NO, because the fact your sister has one doesnt automatically entitle you to one"

It is a balancing job and i love it

L
www.magicbeanbags.co.uk

I found 2 to 3 way harder than 1 to 2 (although nowhere near as bad as the initial shock of 0 to 1!!!). Actually I hadn't found the transition from 1 to 2 that bad really at all, so i wasn't expecting any major issues when no. 3 turned up and I was completely floored by it. The age gap must be a big issue though, I have 2 yrs between each of them so DDs were just 2 and just 4 when DS was born. DD1 was at nursery in the mornings (although I sometimes wished she wasn't as the hassle involved in dropping and picking her up with a newborn and 2 yr old in tow almost outweighed the benefits) and DD2 at home. The first 3 months nearly killed me, but after that everything just fell into place - basically coinciding with DS starting to sleep properly. He's 7 months now and I truly couldn't be happier or more relaxed (that's not to say I don't get stressed / shouty etc at times but overall it's all great). DD2 now at nursery in the mornings and DD1 in reception so despite the horrors of the school run my mornings are now less fraught.

In retrospect I think that it was simply the exhaustion that did me in. The DDs were just so unbelievably tiring during the day then DS kept me up all night and I was poleaxed by it. I'm sure it will be easier with both your DS at school, although that said I am very happy that we have the fairly close age gaps and wouldn't change it - it was only the first few months that were bad.