Fed up when people (esp colleagues) moan about their 1 child keeping them up

[LongStory]

I juggle a demanding professional job, 3 kids, a difficult pregnancy, and that's just the start of it. I try to build in lots of time with my kids, but also avoid letting people down and blowing out arrangements. Sleep is such a wonderful delight when it comes. I REALLY don't want to hear other mums (especially my staff) explaining why they can't make x event / meeting because their child has a cold or whatever.

And another thing, ... love my child-free friends to bits, but have a 3 strikes and you're out rule if they cancel at the last minute due to a crappy excuse - when I've booked the babysitter and jumped through hoops of fire to get out. Am I the only parent of a larger family who gets dead pi**ed off by this?

Its all relative though is it not? If you have never experienced sleep deprivation, or had children keeping you up then one child is hard work. Of course 3 or 4 children is harder work. But if you only have 1, that is all you have to compare it to, you base your discomforts and upsets and stresses on your own past experiences, so what is bad for one person might not be bad for another, and yet again might be even worse for some-one else.

So, a person (or a couple) with one child might struggle much much more than a person (or a couple) with 4 children.

As a mother of one I'll admit I'm very underinformed on this issue, but I'll take a guess and say that having the first child knocks you for six in a way that subsequent children don't. The really really difficult part of having children is being a parent, and you are still a parent if you have one child, two children or ten children. Totally agree that sleep deprivation is sleep deprivation - it doesn't matter what causes it.

And btw, I tend to be the one to take time off if DS is ill on a nursery day. Why? Because I get paid leave and DH doesn't. If he can't work we can't eat. Simple.

I think you're right - and you need to start letting a tiny bit more of the steam off at the people who are pissing you off. In an assertive, bit by bit way.

But do bear in mind that everyone has their reasons, for everything they do. TBH I have taken days off because my one and only dc was ill - only he wasn't, he has thank goodness absolutely amazing health so far - it was in fact dh who was ill, usually with a psychotic episode, and if I left him on his own i didn't actually know what he would do. MUCH easier to say that ds had had a really bad night and I would definitely be in tomorrow, and in fact I would come in that evening to catch up etc etc.

Also, I have to say, if you've fixed a babysitter, just go out anyway! A good chance to have a mellow evening with your dh and no pressure. Might reduce the angst.

I always laugh when my childless friends say they're 'tired'. But I remember being tired before I had children - you just have a different concept of reality. It's amazing what you can do if you try really.