Telling people about no.4, why is it beyond the realm of reason that this one might actually be planned ?!?!

[sorkycake]

Almost everyone has looked shocked when told we are expecting no.4

Not sure why as I'm not expecting them to look after the child, but anyway....most people have assumed that the pg is a shock to us, unplanned if you will.

So many people have asked if the pg is unplanned I've now started to agree and say "well we were a bit surprised" because when I said "no it's very much planned" they looked horrified, as if I had killed their cat.

Is it so unbelievable to have planned no.4? Should I just brazen it out and take the pitying looks thrown our way?

Congratulations.
I would have loved four DCs.
Ignore those that are too miserable to be thrilled for you.

Sorky wait for the 'are you mad' comments

People actually laugh and say awful things sometimes. I am used to it now and have actually started conversations about this pregnancy with a 'some people have been so rude and said...' stops them in their tracks.

I mean i am a little mad...

congrats I would have loved 4

just be honest and say it's planned

bit of a rude question anyway imo

Congratulations!! People are so sad, amazing to think that just because they can only deal with want 2 kids, the same has to apply to everyone else!

Btw, I had a "was it planned?" comment with my first! I had been with dp for 5 years at that point!

Congratulations. Wonderful news. I wanted at least 3 if not 4 dcs, but I get really unwell with hyperemesis and so due to that and other reasons we decided against it. (but I do have 2 gorgeous dds and am very happy)

How wonderful for the 3 older ones, a little brother or sister.

Some people are very rude.

Yes... my FIL was the first to say it and it's not normal behaviour from him.

He seemed so shocked by the news he asked if we were "surprised"...I felt so sorry for him I said we were happily surprised.

Surprised is a euphemism if ever I've heard one

I've also had from a colleague at work "OMG do you just click you're fingers and get pg?"

To which I biligerently replied "No I find having lots of great unprotected sex does the job rather effectively" miserable cow

Well done sorky,fantastic news,my sister has eight!!! we love more than 2 families.

I only had 2 but then time ran out for me.

Congratulations Sorky, but poor you for the bad reactions.

This happened to me too. My 4 were quite close together; maybe people really did think that we didn't know what we were doing.

The worst one was my father just going silent and saying nothing when we told them. He just stared out of the window for ages. I was so hurt then and still remember it; dc4 is 12 now.

So yes either brazen it out or do what lg&t says.

You're not a bit mad at all, but you know that....

congrats

am pg with dc3 and would love 4 but know what you mean about the stupid comments, am getting the usual

oh, are you trying for a boy (two dds)
this'll be your last then?
have you not worked out how its happening yet

all farking hysterical btw

will decide once we have 3 and see how we cope before we decide on either dc4 or the snip

I am so with you sorky

I am pg with number 6 and after 10 minutes talking about it with a friend she looked at me pityingly and said 'are you pleased?'

errrrrr 'YES why wouldn't i be'

so annoying!

we have had loads of dicky comments tbh - i am immune!

Well of course, you must be mad, have not planned this, do not have a tv, and are miserable as hell! Some people need to learn to put brain in gear before opening mouth (them that is, not you).

CONGRATULATIONS!

Congratulations sorky.
Your collegue isn't infertile is she? I ask because I never told anyone about our infertility treatment, and I did find it hard when people became pregnant (apparently) very easily.

No MrsTM she has one ds, was pg infact the same time as I was with ds1.

BUT she has made no secret of the fact that she would like another only she is up to her nose in debt and has no partner. I suspect it's more circumstances with her, though you never know.

The nicest comment I've had so far was from my dear friend who said she "had a feeling I was because I looked different" and "well you always did want 4"

I can't imagine the comments are going to get better than that tbh

because noone in their right mind has 4

Well, that does fit in with my theory that it is far more a comment on her and her circumstances than it is on you and yours.

Conversely I was chatting to an old friend the other day, and she told me that people kept asking her about having another child (she has 3 at the mo, and the youngest hasn't yet turned one). So obviously not everyone thinks that you're crazy! Mind you, I've been asked whether both of mine were planned. I suppose that I just don't look/act like a "normal" Mum!

dizzy - I have had the EXACT same comments as you along with the "have you not got a TV?"

Now I get "are you going to keep going until you get your boy?" [what and just throw the girls in a cupboard?]

I would never comment on the size of another persons family it's not my business planned or unplanned, I'm not raising the children so do not have a right to comment.

I am one of four. Only one of us (number two) was actually planned. However I think my mum was pretty happy with whatever came along as she kept making the same "mistake" of not thinking she could get pregnant while still breastfeeding She was an only child and I think she loved the idea of a big family.

I have just had my 2nd and for me two is definitely enough!!

We all played together a lot as children, but I don't remember much (any?) one-on-one time with my parents. I don't think it's damaged me too much.....

I'm one of four and my Mum got comments like this all the time. One woman actually said to her, "You'll be very lucky if this one is normal" whilst she was pregnant!!! (He's fine, and lovely!)

I don't understand it at all - 4 really isnt that many - I have a friend who's one of 12 ffs (and they are all lovely too!). When I used to tell people I had 3 younger brothers as a child there was usually a sharp intake of breath and a whistle of amazement. Very peculiar.

You should brazen it out.

however people looked shocked becuase

a) you're clearly crazy to have so many children

b)despite popular lentil weaving opinion, many people do not like children

c) in this current financial climate?

I know sweetkitty, it's one thing to ask (hopefully, curiously even) "will there be anymore?",
but it's another to look horrified at someone's news, physically recoil and splutter "was it planned?" LOL

Well I'm rather pleased anyhoo and that's what counts.

Just for record LG&T you are clearly insane, you're expecting your 7th

i had that reaction. i had it when i announced baby 3 tbh.

congratulations!

Gosh, you do know you'll have your hands full

and when is your DH getting that vasectomy??

HeHeHeHe...

Congratulations and enjoy!

Congratulations.
My dm didn't want me to have a third. If I get pregnant with dc4 I don't think I'll tell her or df until I'm 6 months gone.
People can be so rude.

I agree with largeginandtonic's comments regarding starting a conversation off. I think I'll make a note of that for future use.

Sorky, am reading this thread with interest for obvious reason With 3 dds already,the boy thing is going to be predictably obvious [yawn]and at the moment I've only told people who I know will be pleased about n0.4! That doesn't include my family..