Do you ever feel guilty about being fertile?

[reban]

I know its a strange question but ive just got accidentally pregnant with my 4th and caught very quickly with the other 3. Of course im really happy but im gonna feel almost guilty telling some people as my SIL has recently has a miscarriage after trying for a year and my closest friend had a miscarriage and a medical termination in horrendous circumstances last year. I just dont know how to tell them?

Gosh that must have been traumatic.
My labours have got progressively shorter so i have said to my dp that i'll be off to hospital at the first sign of labour with this one as i dont fancy a home birth!

I only have 2 dds so shouldn't be in this topic really , but I did fall pregnant straightaway with both.

I don't feel guilty, but sometimes I feel I "ought" to feel guilty. My mil burst into tears when we announced 2nd pg - not with joy for us but she felt put out that sil wanted a 2nd child (they are still trying).

I am not close to sil so we don't discuss it. Mil (imo) made the whole situation much worse, trying to stir. Mil felt (for some bizarre reason) that as we had our 1st child after bil and sil had their first child, we should somehow be expected to "wait" until they had a 2nd before we had a 2nd. (she is odd though - mil not sil).

Yes, I found it very hard to tell my best friend I was pg with my second child. I've known her since we were 18 but we both had our first babies at 38! She started trying for her second before I started trying for mine, but in the end I managed it quite quickly (at age 40 LOL!). I went out with her one day when I was 10 weeks gone, managed to keep my anti-sickness wrist bands hidden all the time, but although I tried to avoid the subject she brought up the topic of ttc. I had to tell her I was pg, even though I'd told no-one else except DH. She cried! She never did get pg again and now only has one child. I know she still finds it difficult when she sees me with my two. I don't feel guilt exactly, just sorrow that she didn't get what she so desperately wanted.

Posie - if any comfort, I have a friend who had 4 caesarians in 7 years. She's fine (albeit now sterilised).

Posie, I know of someone who's had 7 CS's! I'm having my fourth CS in 8 days, will let you know how I get on!

I've had miscarriages too, though, so not really. I greatly empathize, but I don't feel guilt. And I'm going through an early menopause, so actually, I feel very blessed to have had my large family.

So to hijack bet eekamoose what are anti-sickness wrist bands and do they work? I'm 8 wks btw and fell quickly with both my pregnancies.

They're just wristbands with little bumps which press into your wrists, sold in most pharmacies for travel-sickness, based on acupressure.
Have to say they didn't help my morning sickness at all this pg, just alerted my colleagues to the fact that I was pregnant!

I will get my dp to tel SIL and i know she will be fine and happy for us, and im sure she will get pregnant again soon. Im a litle more worried about telling my friend who has been through so much recently but i am going to have to broach the subject soon as she keeps on mentioning nights out ... can imagine us going out and me getting away with not drinking!
Th other thing is, as i mentioned before i cant get this niggling feeling that after having 3 healthy children my luck is about to run out .. i really never even considered anything going wrong with the other pregnancies or their being any health isues with the children but ive almost got myself convinced something is going to go wrong this time

Reban, I have 4 lovely healthy boys (10, 8, 3 and 8mths), I have also had 3 losses. I have never hated (maye too strong a word but you get my drift) anyone that was pregnant when I had a loss as there was nothing in them that was me or dh, but I did feel my loss. Hopefully your friend and SIL will be happy for you.
I can also understand your 'niggle' I was convinced that I would have a really quick labour and have my 4th at home, as my labours have got faster each time (10hours, 2.5 hours, 16mins). My last arrived in under 3 minutes from my waters breaking and with his cord before him, so we had a medical emergency to deal with but the medical staff were brillient - so basically I'm trying to reassure you that niggles can be in your mind and most occurances can be coped with!
Sorry this was so long, x