Can’t shake off broodiness 3rd child or not!?

[Yorkshirebelle123]

Hi, I have just turned 36. I have 2 lovely girls age 5 and 10. I thought that was us done but for the past year I’m so broody for another baby. My head says I’m been stupid as we have just got our lives back on track and I’m back working more. My heard on the other hand would like another baby. We have plenty of savings and iv took a back seat with work and see if for what it is having tried to progress but been knocked back. I feel my parents will go mad if I have anymore and baby would need to nursery rather than them. Should I listen to my head or heart?

One or two days childcare a week is loads OP.

I think it would be hard on your eldest to have a baby/toddler competing for your attention just as she enters her teenage years. I think two lots of five year age gaps would be hard going on everyone actually. How do you keep everyone happy at weekends? At least when there’s only two children each parent can take one child to do separate activities.

Ultimately you should follow your heart of course but the impact on the existing children would be a big factor in my decision making if it were me.

Yes we have a 4 bed house so kids would have their own room. I have thought about this. We have a similar gap now and found it fine but obviously the older one will be 10. She is good with her little sister but they do argue but don’t all kids. I think she would enjoy having a younger sibling again she loves babies and little children

We had a 7 and 4 year old and knew we wanted another. We got a dog, which helped, but still had a 3rd anyway! They are now 9, nearly 6 and 1 and I know I'm done. I would always have felt incomplete if we hadn't. It was a boy after 2 girls and I feel so incredibly grateful. The girls absolutely adore their little brother.

I know if I had one more that would be it as wouldn’t want to be moving house or getting a huge car. Did you feel complete when you had your little boy? How have you found holidays or is that too soon? Just had a look to compare and it is about 1000 more for and extra child for where we are going this year. Not a huge jump but I have found holidays are more expensive than ever at the moment.

I'm similar age to you, yes (just a year younger). We have had the discussion with both of our kids as well, so they also feel part of it. It's true, it's never enough money. And we are in a fortunate position to not having to worry about finances in regards to having a 3rd.

We holiday in the UK as we mostly visit family and love an air bnb in quaint villages or by the sea! So it's not cost us anymore having a 3rd in terms of holidays. When they're bigger we'll probably go abroad, but we're lucky in that we're high earners so shouldn't really matter. Our house was already big enough, but we did buy a new car, as fitting in 3 kids and a dog on a UK getaway needs a lot of space!

Only loads if parents can't manage without help, and there's pressure. If it's voluntary (for want of a better word!) then 🤷‍♀️

I’d expect to put the baby in nursery and if my parents didn’t want to pick my older children up they can go to after school club. My job is pretty flexible so I can work weekends when my partner isn’t at work.

You've got the house covered. But as someone who had 1, then 10yrs later had DTwins, I can't tell you enough how the world is set up for 2 adults 2 kids.

Family tickets. Seating arrangements. Fairground rides. Hotel rooms (welcome to the world of suites £££) Cars (you want a nice 7 seater and you're looking at the SUV market and these are not cheap). So much more.

This is marginally less for you as every other weekend it's only 2 kids, but the rest of the time it isn't.

Not with those age gaps, not a chance! You'll have 3 at very different stages. Also, if you're expecting your parents to provide childcare they would need to be totally on board. It's a huge commitment

I wouldn’t expect them to have the baby like they did my older 2 I’d expect to put them in nursery a couple of days a week. I only work part time anyway. My older one doesn’t need a car seat anymore so I’d hope we would all fit in the mini countryman we have 😬