AIBU-to ask how big families 50+ years ago did it?!

[mamabeeboo]

DM and MIL are both one of 7, great aunt is one of 14, FIL is one of 12...and the families just get huge going back only a couple of generations... How did they do it?

I'm interested to know how the general set up was and day to day life...

Where did everyone sleep? How big was your fridge? Did you all shower everyday? Was there a conveyor belt of 200+ nappies a week?

I've asked DM who said they all used to sleep in a king sized bed top and tail, and they had "partners" so the older kids would partner with the younger kids to get everyone ready and out the door for school.

Would love to hear from those from big families back in the day - when you didn't have a prep machine, shopping delivered and washing machine on the go 24/7!

To carry one what I was saying, pressed post too soon. The children of the big families always looked a bit scruffy, less money to go round obviously. Childcare was easy, everyone played outside all day in the street from a very early age, big ones looked out for the little ones. Everyone got themselves to and from school from when you started, the big families all walked with each other. There were no weekend or after school activities. So, in many ways it was easier for all families in those days with regard to much lower expectations of what you had to provide for your children, but overcrowding and poverty were big problems.

DM was born in the 30s the youngest of 4 siblings (who were teens when she was born). My grandparents slept in the front bedroom with my mum in with them, my aunts shared a double bed and my uncle slept in the front parlour (and had to fold his bed away every morning and put the bedding in a blanket box). Toothbrushes were kept on a shelf in the kitchen, the loo was at the end of the yard (they slso had a "po" under the beds) and the bath hung up on a nail outside. They had no central heating and used coal fires for warmth . By the time dm was a toddler my aunt had married and moved out, and my uncle was away serving in the war, some was moved into the back bedroom with the other aunt. My grandparents were still living in the same house and conditions in the early 1990s.

My late grandmother born in 1904 was one of 17 children, several died before she was born,
The census stuff I’ve found was interesting, at least one set of twins in the 1891 census who were not there by 1901. Presumably had died.

I saw my great grandmothers grave when I visited Ireland and a relative said she’s in there with god knows how many babies,

Her mother worked doing general cleaning for a few pennies, her father was a labourer .

The children shared beds, her mother grew veg outside and they collected seaweed on the beach for cooking and also cor spreading over the garden veg.

Tiny cottage in Ireland with no running water or toilet.

@Chasingsquirrels my mother was born 1950's . Her mother was 17.
My grandmother had 6 sets of twins.

My grandmother had 6 sets of twins
😮

I'm 57, one of 4 kids.
We had an outside toilet and no bathroom, if you needed the loo in the night you had to go downstairs and outside in the dark with a torch but one of us would go with each other.
We had a bath once a week in a tin bath over the road at my nans, the bath hung on a nail on her garden fence when not in use, the water was boiled on the stove in tin buckets all four of us used the same water, in between we'd have a strip wash with a flannel.
When we were little were were bathed in the kitchen sink, toddlers were sat on the draining board with their feet in the kitchen sink.
We had coal fires, no central heating, all slept in the same room in bunk beds, there'd be ice on the inside of the windows in winter and my dm would layer coats over us, we had blankets but no-one had duvets.
My dm would get up early to light the fire then we'd all run downstairs and get in front of the fire, dm used to put our clothes on an airer in front of the fire so they'd be warm.
Eventually my ddad built a shower cubicle in the kitchen, then he built a bathroom on the back of the house and as time moved on we got central heating.
It wasn't weird because most people lived like it, we didn't go hungry, DM and dd both worked, we had a caravan holiday every couple of years.
We had no telephone or car and a black and white TV
The worst part was in the 70's when we had the three day week and had powercuts, I remember a lot of shortages like sugar and coal.
The shortage of coal was a nightmare as it was our only form of heating, we burnt furniture, we raked the streets with an old pram picking up any wood we'd find to burn on the fire.
Ahhh the good old days.
Does make me smile when people think we had it so easy, my dps were the Silent Generation 1928-1945, lived through WW2 & worked hard all their lives.

@Chasingsquirrels yes! They are all male.
Luckily the twin thing seems to have skipped a generation at least

I am from a big family. Expectations were much lower then.
We didn't have a fridge but a big pantry with a cold shelf. There were local shops so my mother went shopping every day. We had bread and milk deliveries . She cooked everything from scratch. 4 of us slept in a big bedroom in two double beds. The youngest stayed in our parents room.
I can't remember any issues getting ready for school in the morning it just happened.
There were very few cars on the road and only one main road to cross to school and that road had a lollipop man so we walked to school ourselves from about 7 or 8 I think.
We had a bath and washed our hair once a week the rest of the week we had a wash in a bowl.

My dad was born and lived in a 'single end' tenement in Glasgow. That's a single room, not a one bedroom flat. We have a photo of him in front of the huge black range (which he fell against as a toddler and burnt his outstretched hands). No inside toilet and he said you had to time it right to run down before a neighbour did. I think my dad slept in a drawer until he was too big, then he slept in the box bed with my grandparents. My grandmother used the corporations "steamies" for laundry - which was pushed there in a pram. My dad played outside in the middens and in the bomb craters. Life was hard, rationing was still in place until 1954.

My Nan and her sister shared a bed. Outside loo, tin bath. No snacks, ever. She could never get her head round the idea of snacking. She looked forward to her 3 meals a day when she was adult. Food was simple and eating was a pleasure.

I’m in my 50s and one of 2 siblings and we grew up in a house with no central heating, no double-glazing, no carpets, no shower and a plastic bath for 1xwk bath night.

My mum was one of 2 but I know my Nan had multiple miscarriages, a stillbirth and a child death. My mum was brought up in a new 3-bed council house having spent the first few years of her life in a ‘Prefab’ which was overrun by woodlice.

My Dad was 1 of 12, and lived a childhood of abject poverty. He passed 11+ and went to a grammar school but wasn’t able to make the most of that opportunity as he was vilified by the teachers (jesuits) and his peers for lack of fitting or clean uniform, shoes with holes, and nowhere to study at home.

I was born early 70s, my sister early 80s. There was a big difference.

70's - sheets and blankets, baths three times a week, meat n two veg/stew/pies type dinners, kids playing out, no supermarkets so daily shopping in the village, black n white tv.

80s - duvets, showers daily, curries, pasta, whole foods/veggie things, play dates, weekly shop at the new supermarket, colour tv and Atari/ZX spectrum home computers!

There's 7 years between us but a time of great change. My first decade was quite different to my sister's.

I read an account written by the brother of one of my grandmothers about his childhood. There were 10 kids and they lived in a 2 room house. Their mother took in washing from the big house and she had a husband who drank!
I remember it being mentioned that the kids slept several to a bed and that they didn't wash that often as I remember him mentioning that when he wet the bed he smelled at school as they didn't wash as often.
My grandmother was born in 1900 so wouldn't have had a fridge or shower.

My mum comes from a family with 6 siblings. Unfortunately bed wetting is strongly genetic in our family but in those days there was not the washing facilities and it was sheets and blankets. I can not imagine how they coped.

That's exactly what I was thinking. I was born in 1957 and absolutely nobody I knew had more than 3 kids. My mum was born in 1919 and none of her family had any more than 3. Also 50 years ago was actually 1973 (nearly 1974) so not exactly Victoriana!

Kids played out and roamed about esp in summer and didn't come in until nightfall
so mum's got on with their housework in peace . Older siblings looked after the younger ones and a lot of groceries were bought locally . Milk was delivered. So were newspapers.

I am one of 7.. I grew up in the early 80's.. I have 3 sisters and 3 brothers. Four girls in bunk beds in one room and the 3 boys in the other bedroom. My parents slept downstairs. We each had a weekly bath. Mine was shared with my little brother. My clothes were what my older sisters grew out of. I got new clothes at Christmas and summer. My Mam stayed at home until I started secondary school, she worked full time from then. We didn't have a dishwasher, dryer, or central heating until the mid nineties. We each took turns on wash up there were always fights about this.
No holidays, trips out etc. We went to the zoo once a year
We didn't live in poverty but we rarely if ever had luxuries. Coming from a big family is why I decided to only have two children

@itsgoingtobeabumpyride

Im 58, you seem to have had a very similar childhood to me, except that when I was about 2 my father managed to get a mortgage and we moved into a house with an inside bathroom. I have photos of myself as a baby getting a bath in the kitchen sink.
the new house had gas fires downstairs, we had paraffin heaters in the bedrooms in the evenings only, so it was always freezing in the morning. Always a hot water bottle and lots of blankets.
I remember the three day weeks very well. we had candles and an oil lamp, the paraffin heaters were wheeled around to the coldest spots.
I didnt live in a house with central heating until I went to university

@ginasevern my grandmother was from a strict Catholic family. Contraception wasn't a thing. She was married at 17 and had her first child at 17 .
She was pretty much pregnant for 20 years.

@ginasevern The pill wasn't generally available until the early 1960s so the woman had to rely on her husband using condoms and if he wouldn't, a pregnancy every two years was not uncommon.

My mum's gp prescribed her the pill, very early and without my df's permission, only after she had 6 children and having checked that df was too poor to bring legal action.

I've read child care guide books from 100 years ago

So have I, but like today what was written in advice books wasn't exactly what everyone was doing in reality.

My mother was 1 of 13. She said they slept 6 to a bed, top to tail. Her parents worked, they didn’t do much parenting - the older kids parented the younger kids. She reckoned there was very little parenting to do actually, because punishments were so severe that very few kids were naughty. You would get caned by teachers, and policemen or random adults would give you a clip, and you easily got arrested. In fact my mum got arrested aged 10 and taken to court and put on probation because she trespassed in a private garden and stole some fruit. Her 12yo older brother (he was the one who broke the gate to get in) got taken away and put in a naught boys home for 4 years purely for this incident.

Growing up in the late 60's/70's, there were 6 of us in a 2 bedroomed terrace. We all shared a bath (tin) in front of the fire on a Sunday. Eldest first, youngest last. We ate what we were given. No fussy eaters in our house. You ate what you were given or would go hungry. We didn't have central heating, only a coal fire in the front room. I remember changing into my nightie by the fire and rushing up to bed. No duvet but sheets, blanket and an eiderdown. Two or three children to a bed so we soon got warm! Home made or hand me down clothes was the norm. New shoes once a year even though we'd probably grown a couple of sizes since the last pair. We made our own entertainment with other neighbouring children. Everyone knew their neighbours and looked out for each other. We were out after breakfast and back before tea during the school holidays. No snacks unless we came across an apple tree! No idea how we got home in time as non of us had watches. We cycled miles, usually one lucky sole had a bike and would take a couple of passengers; one on the back, one on the front. We fished for newts and tadpoles and swam in the river without adult supervision. The few toys we had were treasured and lasted years. I still have some now. Reading this back now makes me shudder! We were loved and cared for but had very little interaction with our parents and just left to our own devices. My siblings and myself are resilient and take things as they come so I guess our upbringing was a positive thing. We look back at our childhood with happy memories.

Does anyone know which decade the contraceptive pill become widely used and accepted (not just available)?