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Original poster

What is it like having 3 or more kids?

32 replies

eatsleepeatrepeat · 15/05/2023 19:44

Just what the title says, I have 2 DCs already but I'm broody as f0ck. My youngest is now the same age that my eldest was when I got pregnant again. I come from a big family with lots of cousins and always wanted 4 kids but realistically what is life like with 3 or even 4???

Would you recommend it? If so what kind of gap do you think is best?

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RandomMess · 15/05/2023 19:45

Great whilst they are young, the teenage years have been very challenging (and very expensive)

CadburyDream · 15/05/2023 19:47

I have 4 but looking back I would have stuck with 2

Eurodiva · 15/05/2023 19:48

I have three ,absolutely no regrets. All in their 20s now. The teenage years were actually ok .

Shookethtothecore · 15/05/2023 19:50

Hard work. I love all 3 of mine obviously but if I’m honest, I’m my best life I’m sticking to one child.

it’s the constantly outnumbered and mental load of 3x everything.
the age gaps trying to keep everyone entertained doing (and my gap isn’t that big) and the cost of it. When we had them life wasn’t as expensive but it’s 3x sports costs ect and my food bill is insane

Shookethtothecore · 15/05/2023 19:50

In my next life*

TheDuchessOfMN · 15/05/2023 19:53

No regrets, but it’s very, very hard.

2 would be a sensible number of children to have.

Starcircle · 15/05/2023 19:55

I have 4 boys. They are all under 10 & I mostly love it and I always wanted lots of children! There are a few things I’ve noticed now that we have 4…

  • people don’t really invite us over for lunch anymore because there are just so many of us (I don’t blame them!) It’s also a bit difficult dealing with logistics of baby bedtimes/older kids evening Cub Scout pick ups etc. We do manage though.
  • the noise levels in our house are really high a lot of the time 🙉
  • It’s really difficult to identify the guilty party if someone has pinched some food!
  • You pretty much parent the little ones on autopilot because you’ve gone through those stages so many times.
  • food bill is gigantic (can’t imagine what the teen years will be like)
  • the kids always have someone to play with and the baby is very entertained by the older ones.
  • loads of fun at Christmas/birthdays etc.
  • Getting out the door in the morning is awful but that’s partly me not being organised enough or getting up early enough.
  • Id probably have another one but then im done for sure.
SeaToSki · 15/05/2023 20:00

I have 4. Its brilliant. So glad I didnt stop at 2. I have a small gap, a long gap and a middle sized gap 🤣. They all have their pros and cons. Its useful that I am an organized unflapable sort of personas life can get busy and I found that routines and rules were important to stay in control..but then my dc thrived with routine and rules, so that worked well for all of us. Mine are starting to leave the nest now, and its nice to not be ‘done’ too quickly…gives me time to get used to the new phase

Newnamenewname109870 · 15/05/2023 20:02

Why is it so much harder with teens?

TheDuchessOfMN · 15/05/2023 20:09

@Newnamenewname109870 They cost more, they have exam stress and difficult choices to make, social media, they rebel, friendship/boyfriend issues, gender issues/confusion (not mine but rife amongst their peers), mental health issues, drugs, alcohol, you can’t put them to bed at 8pm, you can’t fix it their problems with a cuddle, you might not like their friends, they go out and you worry about them, they lie to you, they make poor decisions (with toddlers and younger kids, you’re the one making all the decisions and get to be a smug parent who thinks you’re an expert on parenting HA! Funny that you’ll never see any mummy bloggers of teens! Grin

TinaTotal · 15/05/2023 20:14

I have 5.

Love them obviously but as previous poster said we stopped getting invites after the third came along. And no one wants to babysit.

It's expensive. Bigger cars, expensive holidays, clothes, eating out, take aways, school trips, days out etc all cost a lot more. (School shoes I'm talking to you)

There's a lot of appointments, dentist, orthodontist, parents Eve, 0-5 health visitor checks, opticians etc whether you take them all at the same time or spread it out it's still a nightmare.

Plus what PP said about teenagers. It's all true

Fiddlededeefiddlededoh · 15/05/2023 20:16

Super. I love having three but I have a very equal parent husband and we have decent income between us.

CadburyDream · 15/05/2023 20:16

I noticed the same about invites and no one will have my 4 means no time off at all but I get that may not be the case for others

SistersNotCisters · 15/05/2023 20:28

Mine are 16 (DD), 13 (DD) and 11 (DS) and it's perfect. Not a single issue. So far it's been a breeze. They all get on great, we all have wonderful, close relationships and life is good. I couldn't imagine only having one or two.

febrezeme · 15/05/2023 20:32

I'm a single parent to 3. 2 of which are twins. I love it and given the chance I'd have another tomorrow. My god it's hard though (hardly any involvement from ex husband) relentless exhausting but rewarding. I always wanted a busy family home and wanted my children to have the potential to have a large wider family

JaninaDuszejko · 15/05/2023 20:32

I love having 3DC. I was one of 4, DH was one of 3 so we were never going to have just 2 DC. We both worked PT when they were little, we have no family nearby so had to do everything ourselves and DS has a chronic health condition and was in and out of hospital when younger. If DH wasn't fully engaged in family life it would impossible. Life is very busy and chaotic (there is at least 1 child's activity every day, usually two and on one dreaded day a week all 3 have different activities). But lockdown was easier for them than for their friends from smaller families because the house still felt busy and full of life, and they all get on well and enjoy doing things together. I wouldn't have it any other way (and am loving having teenagers). I think having lots of siblings is good for children, it gives them space to be themselves.

Original poster
eatsleepeatrepeat · 15/05/2023 21:55

This has been great, thank you to everyone that took the time to reply xxxx

OP posts:
Kentlassie · 15/05/2023 22:05

I have 3 under 4 (incl twins). For the first time I sat on the sofa and cried tonight because I’m so bloody exhausted BUT the noise, the love, the laughter is great. I secretly hope to have one last dc in 18 months…
Its expensive, we have no one willing to babysit all 3 and getting out the house is an effort, but I’m so looking forward to having busy weekends, Christmases etc.

Raaasaur · 15/05/2023 22:13

I have 4. Admittedly my youngest is still under 1, and the oldest is only 8, so I haven’t got to the dreaded teens yet, but I can honestly say that I, and our family, is significantly happier now, than we were with just 2.

I also agree re invites. No one invites us anywhere. I’m now the permanent hostess.

lilsupersparks · 15/05/2023 22:14

I love having my four! It was amazing when they were little (there are 5 years between eldest and youngest) - I find it much harder now in the tween and teen ages. It’s the clubs that are the killer and no down time because they stay up until 9 😂

Agree that holidays, birthdays and Christmas are the bomb. And no, we never go to anyone else’s house!

lifesnotaspectatorsport · 15/05/2023 22:17

I have 3 - not by design as baby 2 turned out to be twins. I LOVE the dynamic of three but it is relentless. Constant demands for your attention, constant noise, an endless series of play dates, activities, appointments, school stuff to remember ... my head feels like it will explode sometimes Shock Very difficult to get anyone to babysit even now they are just about past toddler age - either we go out after they're asleep or we pay. Sometimes both lol. I do feel guilty that I can't give each of them enough 121 attention sometimes, especially the twins.

Overall though, no regrets. I mostly love the mayhem and I love that they're a little trio. Definitely won't be having any more though!!

CheshireCat1 · 15/05/2023 22:19

I had two close together then another 10 years later, it was great. If I could turn back the clock I would have had six.

CheshireCat1 · 15/05/2023 22:23

Newnamenewname109870 · 15/05/2023 20:02

Why is it so much harder with teens?

I found the teenage years more fun, always had a house full, never a dull moment. Should have had a revolving door with all the comings and goings. Still have a close relationship and they are a great support to each other.

CuriousOranges · 15/05/2023 22:26

4 DC. Ages 13,10, 3,1.

The laundry. Dear God, the laundry.

I love it though 😁

PinkButtercups · 15/05/2023 22:44

I have 3.
A 3 year old and 5 month old twins.

I honestly love it. I love a routine and find this works best for us.

I'm quite an organised person so I think that helps massively whereas DP is unorganised 🤦🏻‍♀️.

I always wanted a bigger family as I come from a bigger family myself.