Families with 4 children

[DeGlitterBug]

Please can someone reassure me all will be ok!

Youngest is 5 months, and the others are 3, 5 and 7.5 years. I am exhausted. It's the end of the school hols, plus baby and I have had permacolds for what feels like about 2 months. I am run ragged chasing round after them. Leaving the house is hard. The rain doesn't help. Staying on top of the cooking and washing is near impossible and I ache all over from doing everything one handed whilst holding baby! I seem to shout all the time, and have no time between the essential stream of get this, clear that, wipe the other, feed baby, change nappy, wipe bum, pick up stuff etc to actually have fun and enjoy spending time with the kids. Aaaaaaarrrrrggggghhhhh!

I have lost my voice today, and the night time was a merry go round of feeding baby, changing a wet bed, toddler had bad dream. Dh is knackered too.

Will it get better? Please tell me it will. Currently feeling like having a fourth has tipped us over the edge . So few real people have a big family there's no-one in rl to empathise.

I know teenagers will be hard in a different way, so no need to scare me about that thanks

I completely sympathise with the whole lack of sleep thing. My youngest (11 months) sleeps a total of about 4 hrs a night and naps during the day while I'm on the school run. My toddler is also stroppy and overtired by around 4 and it seems an eternity until bed time.

The last couple of wks I have routinely strapped the baby into the pushchair after lunch, watching In The Night Garden and bribed my toddler as best I can to do quieter activities such as colouring or puzzles. I turn off the phone, take the batteries out the door bell and have an hr as my unwind time. It's not a total break but I have found it helps me calm down and feel less overwhelmed by all the things I need to get done.

Early baths are always good if the little ones start to fall asleep in the late afternoon. It keeps them awake as they love baths. It's also nice to shut the door on the mess in the rest of the house and be mentally distracted by the level of supervision my very lively little ones require in the bath. I have even fed them tea in the bath to save on mess.

I try to cook batches of meals for the freezer when dh is around at the weekend because I find it almost impossible to cook from scratch with the baby climbing everything.

My mil often tells me to do whatever makes life easiest for me and to not put so much pressure on myself. She is right, but it is often hard to remember.

We all find things overwhelming sometimes but it WILL get easier.

I read a quote somewhere (can't remember where); doing housework when children are growing, is like shovelling snow when its still snowing.

Very true.

nar i like that! i always say its like herding water..totally pointless!

katie i agree. the speed that my house is turned upside down after school is shocking :)

I am so glad I read this thread. I have 4 (8, 6,3,15months). I think I may have suffered from PND after my last dd. She is not a sleeper and I have been frazzled. I think I am coming out of it now but I still look around and feel completely overwhelmed sometimes. My house is always a constant tip. I never seem to be able to get on top of the cleaning and washing. The dc do help when asked but don't do a great job. I used to have a whizz round at bath time but now I spend that time helping the older two with homework so it just never gets done.

I am struggling a lot with the arguing too at the moment. My two boys (8,3) take great delight in winding dd1 up who totally falls for it and then all hell breaks loose.

I know that life will get easier and we have been here before I just wish I wasn't wishing my beautiful dd's babyhood away.

I have four boys (8, 6, 3 & 1) and agree that four children can seem like A LOT at times, so I take my hat off to anyone who is managing with 5, 6 or more.
My best advice is to forward-plan (meals for the week, packed lunches for the next day, get uniforms out the night before etc) and also to train the kids to do those kinds of tasks (even a 4 year old can get his/her uniform ready - with a bit of checking).
There are times when my house is just craaaazy - the amount of noise 4 boys can make is unbelievable! But nothing makes me happier than the few moments that they play nicely together, or cuddle each other, or interact in really positive ways.
I also find that when all else fails a sense of humour can get me through some long days. I've started blogging about our life as a family with 4 boys. Hope it's okay to give the link here: boybandinthemaking.wordpress.com
If you're having a bad day, it might make you smile :-)

Hi, haven't read the whole thread, but I have 4; my youngest is now 9, oldest 15.

The one thing I wish I could have known when they all were little was that I was far too hard on myself. Looking back, I was doing fine, but at the time I would compare myself to people with less or older children and wonder why they managed so easily. You feel as though you can't complain because you chose to have them all, and you feel you have do do it really well because people might think you can't handle your big family. I used to mentally flog myself for having a messy house/garden..not keeping in touch with people, being grumpy and so on.

Don't be afraid to be quite firm, someone needs to be in charge. Have ridiculously early bed times-for you too. But do delegate loads, children actually like to be useful and feel useful. Imagine you had broken your leg (this happened to me) and think of all the things they could do to help I with a little direction.