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Original poster

Do you have girls or boys?

41 replies

LionsAreScary · 20/01/2011 13:46

Reading a few of the threads on this board as we are considering no. 4 (not just yet though).

We have three boys, and already I get comments along the lines of '3 boys! you must be mad!', and 'try for a girl?'... I suspect this will only increase if the Beckhams' 4th baby turns out to be a girl.

So, questions:

If your first 3/4/5/more were all the same (boys or girls), was your next baby the same or different gender?

How did you feel about that?

I have very mixed feelings that I need to work through before we TTC - on the one hand I would love to have a daughter just to see how it is different, but I also love my boys very much and can't really imagine my baby not being a boy. I am a bit scared that people will assume I want a girl (they did last time) and that I'll constantly have to defend why it is fine to have a fourth boy. I also suspect it is more likely that we will have another boy, but am not sure if that is actually the case.

Sometimes, we feel so blessed to have 3 healthy children at all, we almost wonder if we're 'pushing our luck' to try for a fourth at all. Did any of you feel this way?

hope you can help!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

DiscoDaisy · 20/01/2011 13:57

We have 3 girls followed by 2 boys. I had a miscarriage between 2 of the girls and we thought that I couldn't carry boys.
It was hard work having a different sex after 3 girls. It was almost like forgetting what we already knew and starting from scratch. That may have been purely because our girls are girly girls and our boys are typical boys (don't like to stereotype but they really are!).
When we had our first boy people used to say things like 'aren't you lucky to have a boy at last' urgh no we were lucky to have a reasonably healthy child.
I think sometimes other people have more hangups than the parents having the child iyswim.

coffeeaddict · 20/01/2011 18:34

I have 4 boys. Felt exactly the same about pushing our luck... and had all the same 'wanting a girl' comments, often in front of our boys... I found out very early and told everyone I was pregnant WITH A BOY! to forestall any comments.

(Although when the health visitor arrived and I proudly told her I had just had my fourth son her answer was 'Disappointed?' I should have complained...)

Love having four boys. Would have loved having a daughter too I'm sure, but it's so lovely for them to have that bond. In fact we sometimes even half-contemplate dc5 with the absolute assumption it would be another boy. I can't imagine making anything else now!

Good luck!

ReclaimingMyInnerPeachy · 20/01/2011 19:25

4 boys and I love it

Burst out laughing when scan revealed sex.

Dh would have liked a girl but tbh she's have been a tomboy like me anyway I expcet

No more for us though

theagedparent · 20/01/2011 19:33

I have 4 girls and have had loads of comments about wanting a boy. I love having all the same.

bellylicious · 20/01/2011 20:10

3 boys and a girl here,
it was like a pp said, learning it all again starting from scratch

when we did her first nappy it was hilarious we had a leg each and were looking at her like something was missing, i did question our choice to have another at one point due to the comments and the pressure to "want a girl finaly"
it doesnt bother me now and i will happily go on to have a couple more babies not caring what they are just so long as they are healthy

Loopymumsy · 20/01/2011 20:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kittywise · 20/01/2011 20:23

I have three of each

Original poster

LionsAreScary · 20/01/2011 21:04

Thank you all for your answers, they make very interesting reading for me.

Good to know I am not the only one who feels that I am 'pushing my luck'. Even though I would quite like a daughter, I know we are already so lucky to have three gorgeous healthy sons, what more could we ask for? I think this feeling partly comes from my MIL, who would have loved to have a daughter but who stopped after her third DS because he has a significant disability and she could not have coped with more children.

Daisy and Loopy - so sorry to hear about your miscarriages. I am lucky in that so far that hasn't ever happened to me, but I had 1st trimester bleeding with DS3, which made me realise how fragile the whole process is. It made me feel very protective of him and after he was born, almost angry with people who suggest that I would have preferred a girl (Coffeeaddict, sorry to say your HV's response doesn't really surprise me, knowing how people have spoken to me - but there's still no excuse.)

It is good to know that those of you who have all the same are simply loving it! That is how I imagine a fourth boy just fitting in with our family. I was really interested to hear the comments about having a girl after several boys being like starting it all again from scratch... but I suppose you quickly learn just as you did the first time.

Kitty, do tell more? What order did they all come in?!

OP posts:

bronze · 20/01/2011 21:07

bbgb

I have had a couple of comments when I've said I have 3 boys and a girl along the lines of oh well you finally got a girl. So I take joy in pointing out how they are wrong.

If I was to have another (Im not) I actually think I would find a boy easier

PositiveAttitude · 20/01/2011 21:08

We had 4 girls, then a boy, then adopted another girl.

kittywise · 20/01/2011 22:55

They came: boy, boy, girl, girl, girl, boy!

I had loads of MC's in between them too, that was a pain.

Imarriedafrog · 20/01/2011 22:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

freshmint · 20/01/2011 23:02

two of each
pushing your luck - I felt this with each additional child actually
mind you after three healthy children I think your chances of having more healthy ones are probably higher since it is proved you can give birth without problems and any genetic issues are likely to have come out with one or more of the first three (of course there is increased risk of downs with age)
I'm not a statistician so that is probably crap but it made me feel better when I was pg with my fourth!

ChaosTrulyReigns · 20/01/2011 23:08

3 girls followed by a BonusBoy.

He has long curly hair (see profile pic) and when people have got his gender wrong, I've gently corrected them and a couple of times, I've had pitying glances and been asked if I wanted a girl then.

Oh if only the knew! (too polite to say I've got three of those already at school!)

lightfantastic · 21/01/2011 16:16

This is a really interesting thread, am reading with interest as have just discovered am newly pregnant with my third. (Have namechanged as still very early days!)

Pregnancy was a complete accident and surprise - had actually taken the morning after pill but it didn't work for me...this child obviously really wanted to be here! We had planned for three but wanted to leave it a while as my youngest only just turned one, but there you go.

Anyway, sorry for rambling (still in a state of shock!) but I have two boys and it is already making me nervous what sort of comments I will get when pregnant ('soo, you must want a girl next?') or if I do have a third boy ('disappointed?'). People say the most inconsiderate things, as a few of you have experienced!

I know exactly what you mean, lions, about feeling like you're 'pushing luck', and while wanting a daughter, not really being able to imagine one. I feel just the same. What I have been feeling is that while I would like a daughter in my life hypothetically, I love my sons so much that another boy would be just as wonderful to me....but what wouldn't be wonderful is how everyone ELSE would see it. Maybe I'm being too thin-skinned but anyone feel that?

For what it's worth, lions, I do know a couple of families that had 3 boys followed by a girl. My gynae also said that he thinks all the 'methods' to try for one or the other are essentially rubbish, and you've basically got a 50/50 shot each time...

Marjoriew · 21/01/2011 16:23

4 girls, 3 boys.

girl, girl, girl, boy, girl,boy, boy.

idobelieveinfairies · 21/01/2011 19:07

6 boys, 2 girls

g,b,b,b,b,b,b,g.

misdee · 21/01/2011 19:09

4 girls, and 1 boy.

Haribojoe · 21/01/2011 20:30

have got 3 boys and I know that I will go on to try for a fourth child.

When people know we've got 3 DS they either ask if we're going to try for a football team, or assume I'll try again for a girl.

The assumption that I am desperate for a girl doesn't really bother me but I must admit that I politely point out that it's another baby I want, not one gender or another.

Sometimes I think a girl would be nice but then the thought fills me with dread as would feel like I wouldn't know what I was doing.

Having had 3DS I just assume that any further babies will be boys anyway

Original poster

LionsAreScary · 21/01/2011 21:31

Hello ladies, great to see all your answers.

It is interesting to see that, even in mixed families, there are often 3, 4, 5, 6 of the same gender in a row. It seems to support what lightfantastic's gyny said about always having a 50-50 chance...

Also, Light, you put into words exactly what I was trying to say: 'What I have been feeling is that while I would like a daughter in my life hypothetically, I love my sons so much that another boy would be just as wonderful to me....but what wouldn't be wonderful is how everyone ELSE would see it'. So, if you are thin-skinned then so am I.

Haribo - I relate to your post, too. Since DS1 is getting quite good at football I get LOADS of 'are you going to go for a football team?' comments. Well I guess they're just trying to make conversation but it does get a bit tedious!

Fairies, that is a fab family! What are the girls like? Do they fit to stereotypes of first born girl Mini-Mum looking after all the little ones (I did!) and littlest girl being adored by everyone and loving it (my sister did). Do the boys do stuff together or are they all very different personalities?

OP posts:

Original poster

LionsAreScary · 21/01/2011 21:41

Also meant to say,

Chaos, I did check your pics... I know quite a few boys who have longer hair and curly too...and it is always the trendy ones - your son is quite fashionable I think! But I really loved the pic of the girls. It is pics like that that make me wish to have someone to buy dresses for!

freshmint, I read your comment to DH and we have decided to believe your comment for my next pregnancy as it sounds pleasingly reassuring!

OP posts:

ilovesprouts · 21/01/2011 21:46

i have boy whos 21 today girl whos 18.6 and a 4.1 boy

sweetkitty · 21/01/2011 21:49

3 girls then a boy

When we decided to TTC#4 we just assumed we would have DD4, we thought we were having a DD until a scan at 35 weeks and what a shock it was.

DS is only 8 months and so different to the girls already, he looks nothing like them (they are all similar) and is just so different. We used to call DD2 the boy we never had as she is more of a boy than most boys we know so DS is lucky that he already has a supply of cars/dinosaurs and sharks to play with.

There is part of me mourned the fact we wouldn't have a little tribe of 4 girls but we wouldn't change him for the world now.

Yes the "oh you can stop now you have got your boy!" comments do grate on you a bit.

dottyaboutstripes · 21/01/2011 23:38

I had 3 girls followed by 3 boys. I have NO idea why that would be - I don't really think swaying works, it all seems random to me!

I see that someone else thought they couldn't carry boys - I thought the same as I'd had losses but then of course it became clear that I was completely wrong on that score :)

idobelieveinfairies · 22/01/2011 09:05

Lionsarescary- Oldest daughter is soooo not into babies and children. She is not maternal at all and never has been! She is into studying and learning and always has been, off to uni this summer!

Youngest daughter is actually feeling left out now. The twins are 6 and so boy twin has got more in common with his older brothers and therefore is hanging out with them so girl twin is feeling a bit sad :(

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