baby no 5 is 9 months old and i am ready for another. Why is this so wrong to so many people?!!

[babybear5]

My dd is now 9 months old. she is our 5th child and everyone asks are we finished cos we would be mad to have any more! Our 4 bedroom house isnt big enough, neither is our car but do these things matter? When do you get to the point when you decide you have had enough?? I could go on having babies for ever

I would have thought as long as you can afford to provide for them, you should have as many children as you want.

We have 4 in a 3 bed.

Any more would make us squashed I think.

We don't want any more, but if I was to fall pregnant (unlikely) we would have 5. :)

As has been said, if you want more and can provide for them, give them each the time they need, then go for it! :)

How old are they all??
I have 5...... Eldest 16,14,12,8 and 2.
As they gt older I'm finding they need 'more' of me. Later nights, social lives to accommodate, gcse, a levels, sports commitments.

It gets harder to give them all what they need.....

5 in a 3 bed here too..... But it's not such a problem to be honest.

mine are 15, 10.4,2 and 9mths. Quite a lot of attention needed in different places. 10year old is adopted with special needs also so hard to split time but i dont feel they miss out. What worries me is that i feel like i might be having babies cos i want to get it right and to feel needed..although every one is planned and so wanted...i just enjoy the baby stage. (i am a midwife to)does anyone understand this?

I have 4 aged 6,5,2 and 15 months.

Last year we managed to buy a delapidated 4 bed house and we are hoping to convert the loft. I should count my blesings and stick with 4, and that is the plan, but if I found out that I was pregnant with no 5 I'd look like this --->

The amount of my time they need seems to get more as they get bigger I agree, but I'm sure I'd manage somehow... My great grandmother had 7 kids, no electricity, no nhs, no social care and no washing machine! By those standards I've got it easy :)

I don't have a problem with it so long as, like everyone else says, you can afford to provide for them all.
I personally don't understand it but don't criticise others for it.
I have 2dc of 4 & 2yrs and know I can let them have a wonderful childhood,days out, holidays etc, see them through uni/weddings etc if required and enable them to partake in hobbies of their choice. I have also gone back to a career and wouldn't want to break again.
If I won the lottery I might have more so I could hire a taxi for them as teenagers and a housekeeper so I could play with them all day while young .

lol...yep we in the real world. I sometimes wondered if i am mad and should have stuck to one or two. Life is hectic and i often wonder how different it would be if we had fewer children. Both my husband and i work so we can provide for them and we are lucky enough to work different times to allow someone to always be there for them. we do have our holidays, days out etc but it does take a lot more planning. I think i know in my head it is time to stop but my heart says otherwise. Oh and i am 40 now so it could also be frowned upon...having and old mum! if circumstances had been different when i was younger..i was unable to have children for 11 years, hence the age gap, i may have had loads by now lol !!!

hun if you can provide then go for it!

we have 4 dc 9,6,4and 13mo and will probably ttc next year

im already looking at an even larger car

i agree days out take allot more planning and you do seem to find that baby sitters are few and far between (cant think why )

but i came from a large family and dont feel we were left out or had anything less than familys of say 2 children and we were poor growing up, but my mum used her imagination and made that money strech to allow us everything we needed and more

we also get the comments, "what no tv?"
"you are going to stop arnt you?"
ect ect boring we work hard and if this is how we wish to live our lives then leave us be pfffttttttt

i couldnt put it better myself
i am from a family of 5 and never felt that we missed out.
I'm glad there are like minded people out there and i am seriously thinking about baby no 6 now

k i kn ow someone who has 8

they live in what is officially a 2-bed bungalow!

you take what you have and you make it work. they're one of the loveliest families i know

i am a firm believer in living within your means and making what you do have work for you. Having 8 children sounds fab and i bet this family would rather have 8 children than a big empty house. I know i would

well....we're currently on No 7...in a 3 bed house !!
but the boys (despite having bunkbeds in the same room) all still jump in each others beds...and we usually find 3 empty beds in the morning and everyone squished into 1 !!

the babies all sleep together in the nursery...and then theres our room (also filled with cots & large sofabed & our bed :)

very much becomes musical beds :):):)

I think its ourdoor space I would love more of....we have an average size garden of 150ft....but Id love an acre+ with lots of trees & hills....

and we def. need a bigger car !!!still not gotten round to it
but like everyone above says....its not what possesions you have...its the "free" things that they crave and need

I love this thread! I too thought I had finished having children when I had dd4 18 months ago. However after months of dithering, had planned to ttc dc5 this month. But I keep getting scared of what other people will think. We only have a 3 bedroomed house and we manage to make it work very well at the moment but that could all change.
Also I dont have much family support. My biggest worry is if it will affect my other children in a bad way with regards to having less space and less of my time. Am so confused! If I go ahead will I want dc6 in a couple of years? As that is not an option. Help!!

hi tootsweets. i had started the thread cos like you i was desperate for more children and was worried about what people would say. i used to wonder if telling people 'it was an accident' would be easier. I always have wanted 6 children but people think you must be lacking something else in life to do this. We have a 4 bed house just now that works well but i am still unsure if we would carry on and have no 6..i think mainly because of what people would say. However when i think about it..it is my life and i am very happy with the way it runs and shouldn't be bothered about other peoples opinions. I am firm believer in that you are only given what you can cope with. I dont think my children have been affected each time one comes along..they love it. Apart from my 15year old but i think that's because mum and dad are still at it not cool at that age [laugh]i dont know when you get to the point enough is enough but i say 'go for it and enjoy them'

oh and like you i have family abroad and in the south so not close to my 5 children at all, but you manage and if anything you become more organised, therefore freeing up more time for each child...and think of the family gatherings when they have their families..GREAT!

I am in the same situation. I have 4 and my partner desperatly wants another but i am so worried what people will say and how they will react.

it is really sad when we have to juggle what people think of us against what we really want . i think we should just rebel and go for baby 4,5,6 or even more!!!!

I think, when it comes to what people say, some people are jealous, I honestly do.

I have a 'friend' who says I am 'mad' for having 4. She started saying this after her DH said definately no more.
She also tried to piss on my bonfire when I discovered DC4 was a girl as she desperately wanted a girl herself, but was preg with a 3rd boy, but that's a whole other story.

I am proud of all my kids. I hold my head high. :)

If you can feed 'em, then go ahead and breed 'em!! :o

no advice but your not alone baby number 8 is 8 months old and after initially saying she would be our last .we are now ttc number 9 . it may never happen as i'm 43 and if it doesn't happen we have been very lucky but 9 or 10 if we managed twins would be a very welcome addition .

we have 6 bedrooms and a mimibus so can fit them in etc. oldest 2 are heading off to uni next year which will give us more space . but if i had a pound for everyone who asks us when we 're buying a tv i'd be a millionaire .

zipzap, bugger the catsbum faces you get 1 life. If you and your partner want another then go for it. Its no-ones place to judge you. When you are 102 in a nursing home you will still be kicking yourself for not having no5.

( plus just think of all the extra grandchildren!!)

My friend has a 2 bedroom house and 4 girls. Her and her DH have one room and the 4 girls share another.

I know someone else with a 3 bedroom house and 5 boys.

mumsy Who "officially" sleeps in your room then?

We usually have the twins in our room.....im too soft :) and love the babies near me at bedtime....dh doesnt agree !! but tough :)

Have had all my children in a cot next to bed till they reach 2, but twins are only 14 months..and baby No 7 due in 4 weeks....so will be tight with 3 cots, our bed & a double sofabed ...!!..plus everything else
We did have a queensized bed...but bought a kingsize (4 poster) replacement to give us bit more room.

I only ever put one of the twins in nursery if they are not sleeping well...so as not to disturb other baby & DH....when next one is born I may have to reconfigure

sofabed is used when any of the boys are unwell, having nightmares etc....or on our "fun" weekends when we all get together & watch films in bed

we're fortunate that all the rooms are big.... theres only 3 bedrooms...but all over 14ft x 14ft...which helps....so all the boys can share in bunks...with plenty of space for a wardrobe each, sets of drawers & bookshelves..and still plenty of space in middle of room to play...
goodness knows how people manage with smaller houses...
the amount of space needed for shoes (we have over 200 pairs just for the kids!!!) and coats (one for every season/weather/size!!) and all their clothes, never mind toys etc......where do people in smaller houses keep this stuff??? id go crazy without having storage space for it all ....

Does everyone do what I do...and look at bigger houses nearby...dreaming that one day...

oh....and we still have cots in the nursery too (people still like to give me cots despite me having enough already...and some are just too lovely to say no to )....but my twin boy does end up in the nursery most nights...he likes to wake 3-5 times a night !!
dont know how I will survive on even less sleep than I get now when next one arrives.....

..and I dont have any family to help.....my mil lives locally ..but shes 80 now...so we ask her round for dinner & to enjoy the kids..never to do any work...she had 6 of her own without help, back in much harder times.....so shes done her fair share of work in her time ...

....and it looks like Ive babbled on ...and gone way off track.... sorry...

back to babybear5 having baby No 6 ...
do what you want to do....nothing to do with anyone else !!

as they say in "Madagascar" .....just smile and wave :)