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Original poster

Sister in law just found out she is pregnant with no. 10,11 and 12!

81 replies

KateEllis · 03/11/2010 12:50

I have just received a panicked phone call off my sister-in-law, she is pregnant with triplets and already has 9 DC aged,14,12,10,8,7,4,3,15 mths and 4 mths! She is distraught at the prospect of having three more especially given how close in age the youngest 2 children are. To add to this her husband is delighted! He loves children and wanted more even though they agreed to stop at 9. Does anyone know of or have such a large family (I have a big family but not nearly as big as this) or know of anyone, I just would like to reassure her that it can work.

OP posts:
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ASecretLemonadeDrinker · 03/11/2010 17:33

Direct her to mumsnet :) DOes she have much help?

idobelieveinfairies · 04/11/2010 11:25

Oh my goodness! Shock

This is the reason i got sterilised. I had 6 and then fell pregnant with triplets, 1 didn't make it early on though. So i have 8.

I hope she will be ok, and that she gets sterilised after having her triplets.

QuintessentialShadows · 04/11/2010 11:28

A friend of mine had 17 siblings. She was 16 when I knew her, and her oldest sister was 47. She could not remember the names of all her nephews and nieces, and neither could her parents.....

Good luck to your sil.

Original poster
KateEllis · 04/11/2010 14:57

Thanks again for all the replies, I have directed her to this site.

ASecretLemonadeDrinker - unfortunately because she lives abroad she has no family to help, but she does have a child minder to help with school runs and a few close friends lend a hand I think.

I have advised her to get sterilised after the triplets.

OP posts:
HabbiBOOM · 04/11/2010 15:03

MY grandparents were each one of 12, though I don't think all of them survived infancy, sadly. My nana was one of two sets of twins in her own family.

FIMBOfedupofrandomfireworks · 04/11/2010 15:06

My great great grandfather had 2 children with his first wife,(one of whom was my great grandmother) then fathered another 10 with his second wife, who from census records appears to have been half his age.

Don't know why I threw that in there randomly, good luck to your sil.

alexpolismum · 04/11/2010 15:20

wow! Good luck to her! She'll have to start driving a minibus just to get all the family in!

To the doubters - my elder brother was just short of 10 months old when my sister was born. It can happen. We are not robots. Some women return to a fertile state more quickly than others.

buttonmoon78 · 04/11/2010 16:56

Goodness - I can see why she's panicked!

Good luck to her. If they are well off then they will have to arrange extra help.

I hope that if all 3 make it past 12 weeks that they stay healthy and that your sil has a trouble free pg.

buttonmoon78 · 04/11/2010 16:57

Oh, and as for the Biscuit comments then sometimes, truth really is stranger than fiction.

Nobody's forcing you to post, you know.

LongStory · 04/11/2010 20:46

Kate - I think telephone reassurances are one thing, and no doubt there will be a happy tale to tell looking back on this a decade later. However the reality is that she will need a lot of support, including for the last part of the pregnancy (I had a relatively normal twin pregnancy, but was housebound for the last couple of months). If family is unable to help, then she should factor in the cost of this.

Comments about sterilization really aren't going to help if she's got a controlling husband and there are religious / cultural factors at play. You don't have to go too far back in many family histories to find stories of women with a house full of children who jumped off cliffs when finding out they were pregnant again, and she may be in very real despair.

tabouleh · 05/11/2010 23:12

OP - are you aware that it is not a good idea to give out your DCs names on an internet forum?

You seem very naive for a paediatrician - what's your professional view on a family that size?

So, your BIL and SIL will have 5 under 2?

Sorry but I think a gap of 11months and then maximum 11monts (likely to be less due to triplets) is very irresponsible to say nothing of the 7 older ones.

If you do direct your SIL here then will she take kindly to you calling her DH "controlling?".

Jajas · 05/11/2010 23:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 05/11/2010 23:35

Tabouleh - there are plenty on MN who give out their DCs names on here, often with photos.

OP - I hope you get the support and advice that you need here, and hope that your SIL manages to come to terms with the pregnancy.

FlamingMagnaFlow · 05/11/2010 23:38

Wow - congratulations to your SIL - wonderfu news. Couldn't cope myself but I struggle with two.

Hope it all goes well

HystericalMe · 05/11/2010 23:38

can she not consider any alternatives to continuing the pregnancy if thats not what she wants?

FlamingMagnaFlow · 05/11/2010 23:38

wonderful

BOOMyhoo · 05/11/2010 23:39

why irresponsible tabouleh?

BOOMyhoo · 05/11/2010 23:41

also, where did OP give out names and say she was a paed?

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 05/11/2010 23:44

It's on her profile - first names only though.

BOOMyhoo · 05/11/2010 23:45

don't see the problem with that. many posters do that. many include photos aswell.

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 05/11/2010 23:56

Agree

Original poster
KateEllis · 06/11/2010 12:38

tabouleh - I'm not exactly sure how having my children's first names on my profile is irresponsible, I do not give any other personal details and do not give surname.
Also how do I seem naive to you, I did not come on here to seek medical advice for my SIL I have explained to her the risks of pregnancy with triplets and a another pregnancy at her age. She is well aware that it is a risk to herself and unborn children. Previously I have also spoken to her about sterilisation etc.
However, I can only do so much. It is ultimately her decision and her husband's.
The only reason I posted on her was to see if anybody had any practical advice, sometimes it is reassuring to hear of stories from people in similar circumstances.
As for my professional view on a family that size - there is nothing medically wrong with large families so long as the parents have the means to care for every child. The only medical factor is the pregnancies, and as I said I have made her aware of the risks. All of her other children are very healthy and happy, and she is fortunate to be in a situation where finances are not an issue.
In regard to her seeing that I called her husband 'controlling' she is aware that I feel this anyway.

OP posts:
ZZZenAgain · 06/11/2010 12:53

I don't know any families with 12 children so I couldn't honestly be reassuring about how it works out . Nine dc is a big family nowadays and if they have managed well so farand have the space and the energy(!), I suppose she will manage. I hope she gets some help from family or the older dc.

Baby triplets must be quite a job, even if you have no other dc to worry about and nothing to do but basically look after them (as in not have to worry about housework etc). Does sound quite daunting.

collision · 06/11/2010 12:55

Cannot even dream how this would affect me!

Have 2 of my own and now use two forms of contraception so that I do not get pregnant again.

Triplets would tip me over the edge! but not got a lot of sympathy if she wasnt using birth control.....

TotorosOcarina · 06/11/2010 12:57

My friend had a 4 month old and was 11 weeks pregnant.

its not impossible.

thats alot of kids already, so small too!

and triplets

christ

ermmm wish her luck!