Overwhelmed and wasting my opportunities

[MoneyMinimiser]

I am constantly messing up e.g. tax deadlines, have no proper records to speak of and have most of my money sitting pathetically in a current account.

The last few years have been financially kind to me, with inheritance and job promotions and such - but the associated grief and over-work and pressure of becoming the person that the extended family approach for money has brought me to a point where I’m financial the equivalent of the kind of house that Kim and Aggie hold their nose at.

There is stuff there – but it is just in a complete mess. I am overwhelmed by it – which just makes me more avoidant.

The inheritance came with some conditions attached for what it should be used for in the medium future - which together with inflation just makes me feel horrible about not managing it properly. Add in guilt for having assets in a cost of living crisis.

I am not against paying for somebody to help me – but even there, I feel like I would just be walking in with “mug me “written on my forehead … and I don’t so much need advice about exciting investment opportunities – I need help with organising myself - I need hand-holding to help me ‘grow up’ in my attitude to money.

My bank had a service called ‘Money Mentors’ - but in the photos, they all looked about 25, and like it was set up to help young people starting out in life. I just think I would seem like a crazy person if I brought in the piles and piles of papers that is me.

In my regular life, I found things like FLYLady helpful for keeping on top of the chores. I am numerate/ literate / don’t particularly have issues with overspending – just haven’t stepped up my skills as my financial situation has become more complicated.

Following with interest!

A ha - looks like there are more of
us with the problem than with the answers!

Can you not just set up one or more ISAs to start with?

Financial management requires work and effort just like any other kind of organising skills. So it won't do itself and you'll have to devote some time to it rather than throwing up your hands and letting it get the better of you.

I don't know how much you are talking about but if it's a decent amount you can play an independent financial advisor to just give advice. You don't have to let them have your money just point you in the right direction.
ISAs haven't been worthwhile for most people for years so only look at those if you are a HR tax payer and have investment income of over £1000.

You could do worse than read money saving expert on savings and investments.

If you work then it may be tax efficient to increase your workplace pension as you don't pay tax (or NI I think) on the contributions.

I have just subscribed to Money Week, they are giving me ideas of where to invest and to how things work e.g. how bonds work.

Try and just do one thing a day or every few days, sorting out finances or reading about what/where to invest.

Eesh, being the person extended family come to for money is horrible :(

I have very little interest in money management - my husband is the opposite, which is fortunate as he's the one with inheritance and shares from his employer that needs the managing. We have a financial adviser, and they are so helpful - it's mostly about "what do you want to do with your life", and managing the money in line with that. He tells us what the sensible choices are based on our risk appetite, and it's our choice whether to follow that advice or not.

See if you can find a good IFA (and someone who'll do your tax return too?), and then you can learn from them if you want to end up doing it yourself in a few years time.

Another one following.

I am so similar to this, and overwhelmed by it all really. I know it's a very first world problem, but maybe that makes it all the more guilt inducing.

1. Pay off any debts first (excluding mortgage).
2. Open an ISA for this tax year and invest £20k in it.
3. Open a high interest savings account for the rest.

Can you give us an idea the of the amount of money you need help
With?

Start with £20 k in a cash isa before 5 april .
Another £20k in a cash isa after 6 April.
Look at your pension contributions
Ensure you max your contributions before 5 april and you can go back 3 years as long as you already have a pension.
Look at maximising your contributions after 6 April
For the coming tax year .
Put £50k in premium bonds immediately that's easy and wins are tax free.

Repay any debts first, of course .

I have a spreadsheet that has all my accounts along the top and the balance of each below. Can you do that as a starting point?

I then add the growth and withdrawals and a cfwd balance. I can then see the total amount, what needs around moving etc.

I second the above simplistic advice to 1) max pension contributions, 2) open a LISA if you are eligible, 3) put £20k per tax year in a S&S ISA (open very quickly online, Vanguard for e.g.) , 3) put up to £50k in premium bonds if you like, 4) open a new savings account (or more than one to ensure you keep below £75k in each account) that pays 4%+ for any extra funds.

I’d also designate a spot in the house - box, drawer, whatever, that any financial paperwork arriving gets dumped in if you don’t have time / inclination to deal with when it arrives.

I am not sure conditions can be attached to inheritances can they? Certainly not enforceable to my knowledge. I’d stop worrying about that.

Can we help more specifically?

I'm also scared of investments! On FIL's advice I opened an online brokerage account and invested in some passive tracker funds. Then you need to leave it alone for as long as possible!

That may not work if you have specific medium term expenses to pay for.

Not sure why pp said don't pay off your mortgage. I would pay off your mortgage. Other investment income you pay tax on. You don't pay tax on an absence of mortgage interest.

Look at Meaningful Money channel on You Tube it's brilliant

Also look up the Rebel finance school, they're really good at simplifying finances.

This may help you get your thoughts in order or make you run for the hills

ukpersonal.finance/flowchart/

I suppose 2 weeks before the tax deadline makes that priority number 1.

Then get on with everything else and start to make your money work for you in terms of getting some of it in medium to long term fixed savings/ISAs/pensions etc. If the sum of money is large - close to £100k or more and you have no immediate plans for the money, getting £40k into a S&S ISA is almost certainly a good start. (£20k by 5 April and another £20k from 6 April - Vanguard mentioned above is a good choice.

Whether or not it's worth paying off your mortgage depends on the rate. If you took out a 5/10 year fix a year ago and the interest rate is 1-2%, you can get a lot more interest in savings account. However, if it's more like 3/4%+, then yes, it's probably worth paying it off.

Meaningful Money is another good and accessible way to learn about finances. He's an IFA who's done lots of podcasts, videos and written books and articles telling people that they don't usually need an IFA.

meaningfulmoney.tv/learning-centre/

I also posted a longer version of the above on another thread a few days ago.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/4713710-investing-want-to-start-and-need-your-best-tips?reply=122846545

Do you have an accountant and could you get them to do a bit more for you/advise you on how to make tax/SE matters as easy as possible - wait a few weeks until they've got their breath back after the end of tax return season though.

The limit is £85 per bank / building society or group such as HBOS.

85k

I am sticking with £75k per institution to allow for the fact I hope that to increase £3k+ per year and in case I don’t get around to moving for a few years.

@Chewbecca - the vague ‘condition’ is that I support an unwell relative in another country. Of course not enforceable - but I’m not going to cut her off. For ‘reasons’ the stipulation was that I don’t give her money - but I cover all of her medical expenses. This has not been expensive so far - but been effortful - because a lot of admin - and a lot of high-emotion phone calls. In the past she has needed in-patient care - which would become very expensive very quickly.

This is the money that has got ‘trapped’ in a current account - because I am constantly fire-fighting the details and just have a mental block to viewing it as an asset. It totals about 80,000 - which is either way more than is needed, or way less than is needed - depending on how relatives health goes.

I don’t want to take this off the mortgage, because even though legally it is my money, it feels wrong to ‘mingle’ the assets.

I'd get an IFA, get the £80k invested. It can be accessed within 2-3 weeks if you need it for the relative.

The inheritance also included a buy to let flat - that was also tagged to support rellie if needed - or just because.

It is rented to a good tenant. I don’t really want to be a landlord, but some issues in the block make it a bad time to sell. Last year I ploughed back about 25% of rental income into repairs - and rent has not been raised entire time this tenant has been in. Which I guess is my comfort zone - but back of my mind wonders if I need to be more hard nosed about seeing it as an asset.

See above - emotional strings attached if rellie gets more ill.

It has also sucked up time I have allocated for life admin in terms of sorting out the legals of ownership, various block things, chatting with managing agent, paying itty bitty invoices etc etc.

@HollyBollyBooBoo - how do I find a good IFA?

I feel vulnerable walking in and declaring that I have money.

I’m also generally overworked and overwhelmed - and it feels like ‘a lot’ to onboard a stranger.

@BarbaraofSeville I will read the thread - thank you.

I would like to get an accountant. I hate drawing up accounts. I also have a small business - and the accounts kill me every year even though they are Noddy simple. I would love someone to just ‘look after me’ a bit - let me outsource some of the emotional baggage that this money is shot through with.

But again - I’m rabbit-in-the-headlights frozen for how to find the ‘right’ person. I don’t seem to have enough assets or income in any one area to justify it - but I just feel stressed and overwhelmed in totality.

@TimeZonedOut @snowsilver - on paper - I should be great at this - but psychologically I don’t want to have this intensely complicated financial situation - and it makes every browsing a personal
finance magazine feel intensely miserable.

At one point I put some money into small shares to try to inject some ‘fun’ and ‘pleasure’ into the sudden windfall. The company sent me some swag, and it brought me some joy that the money was working in a positive way. But financially - I have low expectations of this kind of ‘baby VC’ stuff. I’ve written that money off. It’s not a ‘prudent’ approach to managing funds that I feel morally don’t entirely belong to me.

Premium bonds were a good suggestion from a PP - that might distract me from the weight of the responsibility and gamify the money management a bit - while still being fairly ‘sensible’.

The roots of why I find it so hard are definitely psychological - but I need to get myself in hand before my finances become a mess as a result.