Overwhelmed and wasting my opportunities

[MoneyMinimiser]

I am constantly messing up e.g. tax deadlines, have no proper records to speak of and have most of my money sitting pathetically in a current account.

The last few years have been financially kind to me, with inheritance and job promotions and such - but the associated grief and over-work and pressure of becoming the person that the extended family approach for money has brought me to a point where I’m financial the equivalent of the kind of house that Kim and Aggie hold their nose at.

There is stuff there – but it is just in a complete mess. I am overwhelmed by it – which just makes me more avoidant.

The inheritance came with some conditions attached for what it should be used for in the medium future - which together with inflation just makes me feel horrible about not managing it properly. Add in guilt for having assets in a cost of living crisis.

I am not against paying for somebody to help me – but even there, I feel like I would just be walking in with “mug me “written on my forehead … and I don’t so much need advice about exciting investment opportunities – I need help with organising myself - I need hand-holding to help me ‘grow up’ in my attitude to money.

My bank had a service called ‘Money Mentors’ - but in the photos, they all looked about 25, and like it was set up to help young people starting out in life. I just think I would seem like a crazy person if I brought in the piles and piles of papers that is me.

In my regular life, I found things like FLYLady helpful for keeping on top of the chores. I am numerate/ literate / don’t particularly have issues with overspending – just haven’t stepped up my skills as my financial situation has become more complicated.

OP I hope the thread has helped you realise loads of people get into this kind of situation. Professionals are needed for a reason and the good ones will be non-judgemental. The first convo/arrangements won’t cost.

Im going to go out on a limb and recommend you have a convo with with someone at David Williams IFA
01604 621302

(Our IFA is a woman, our mortgage adviser there is a woman, they’re both completely understanding and non-judgemental). We have paid under £1k for them to completely sort our lives out. I hope you get to a place where you feel much better about all this soon, and start to enjoy a sense of security and peace that having a money cushion should bring.

It has been a very helpful thread indeed. And has helped me anymore pragmatic about seeing this is ‘A Hard Problem” rather than doing it as me being pathetic. thank you to everybody that has taken the trouble to post.

I literally have @Beancounter1 message, screenshot, and I am working down it line by line this morning! I’ve got one solicitor, sending me their will writing information gathering questionnaire … feel that I should probably ask for two more to be able to compare …. and will start writing out the mega master list of everything.

But I trust you understand that this is a job for nice stationery - not a spreadsheet!

Think these are the right headings (but need more colours!)

This is good advice, DH uses a book keeper, he basically hands over his statements, receipts, invoices etc and she sorts it. It takes out the overwhelming part!

She can't do the tax return but she supplies the figures and we just input them. If it was more complex we might hand the books to an accountant but it is only a small business.

This is the ISA opened last year.

I have tried to do better - but when the charts look like this - it hasn’t felt like ‘winning’. And that’s without the inflation haircut taken into account.

That’s about the market on a global basis. Leave it and ignore. There is no such thing as a short term market investment.

I would probably increase the balance to £85k and arrange for the interest to be paid monthly in To my current account and then transfer it to a new interest paying account each month.

OP, you are winning already 😆

always - that is definitely a more sensible approach! Mine is in anticipation of laziness / forgetfulness!

Work out the interest per
Month and set up a standing order, all bases covered.

I think you are doing better than you realise. You have been given a very ambiguous legacy- money, but also a heavy burden has been passed down a generation, to you. I am in a similar situation, when my dad died I inherited some money and a rental flat, but also my brother who suffers from long term mental illness and is my responsibility now ( including his finances and his home, which is in a state). I had to get him sectioned this summer. I struggle with feelings of resentment. ( there was a lot of denial on my fathers part when he wrote his will and left him his house , my brother can’t handle being a home owner). What has worked for me is taking things a step at a time. Sometimes when things are overwhelming I just deal with one thing and forget the rest. I take on projects one at a time “ sufficient onto the day is the evil thereof”. I also have money in a ridiculous current account, and have seen my Vanguard Isa lose about 8% in the last year, after it was bounding upwards in the 18 months previous. But I have a job, 2 kids and enough on my plate, I’ll get round to moving the cash when I have fixed the roof, refurbished the rental flat and sorted out a care package for my brother. Prioritising, and developing a certain steeliness are my way of coping.

That resonates @TheGander . That’s very similar to how I feel

Is there at least a part of the legacy that is ring fenced for you? I am very careful to keep mine and my brother’s finances separate.

Well - not ringfenced no.

It was handed over with ‘this should be more than enough’.

I do keep the inherited money and my own money separate & that’s kind of why it’s mushroomed in complexity.

I think it’s very important to keep your own money separate. Might also be worth keeping a record of expenditure on your relative, you never know, extended family members might want to stick their oar in and question how you spend the money and it’s useful to keep track.

Some good advice on here - some that makes my skin crawl.

My plan….

Step 1 - open a stocks and shares Isa with Interactive investor - transfer 20k into it
Step 2 - add another 20k i to the stocks and shares isa with ii. Do this on the 6th of april every year that you can.
Step 3 - in the Isa buy 50% Vanguard US Equitv Accumulation fund, and with the remaining 50% buy vanguard global equity accumulation.

Step 4 - with any extra cash waiting to go into the Isa, make sure it’s in a high internet savings account - you can get about 4% right now.

Things to avoid. Premium bonds. I’d not touch them with a barge pole. Lifestyle funds and anything that touches bonds - are effectively broken.

Step 5 - Sell the buy to let. Get the money into 4 and then 3 above. (Limited by the 20k contribution rate for Isa’s). Being a landlord is a headache for you!!

Sit back. The isa will grow. You’ll have poor years, average years and great years. You’ll average between 6 to 9% per annum tax free.

Figure out what you’re going to do with the money long term….

Id leave paying off your mortgage off your to do list at this point. You’ll earn more by the isa and savings account than you will save from clearing the mort. Only clear the mort if you just want to have it gone - as a personal preference, as financial it won’t make sense.

Interactive investor will manage the split of your money held as cash across about 20 banks to ensure all the money is covers by the £85k likit per insitution. It’s seamless.

You’ll pay about £20 a month for their service plus 7’99 fees when you buy funds. so probably less than £200 in fees every year.

You can save a bit of money if you went to Vanguard directly and opened an account with them - but baby steps - get with ii, it’s cheap and those fees woke make a dent.

An Ifa will send you to vanguard funds anyway - unless they are not independant, because they are so cheap to hold.

An ifa will charge you between 1 and 3% depending on dumb you appear. Sorry IFa’s - seen you do this - you’ve got a semi closed shop and are profiteering from peoples ignorance about how to basic things. Due to their FCA rules about IFa’s, i had to pay £16k once to do something i’d been planning to do for about a decade. But a snotty 25 year old, had to sign off on it. #blergh.

Hqppy to answer any questions OP.

But and this is a big but - investing is not for everyone. You will be tempted to look at it and worry when it goes down. Scarily i used to worry about £100 changes (when i had less money) these days i’m + or - £10k a day…. My point is, it gets easier. You just have to leave it alone - which is what you seem to want to do about it anyway, be more of a custodian of it, rather than spend it.

You need to get savvy with spreadsheets. I'm not wealthy at all, just comfortable, but have spreadsheets for everything! One that tracks monthly incomings vs outgoings, one that looks ahead to future spending and what I need (cash flow if you like), one that tracks mortgage balance/repayments pension, credit card debt, you get the gist...one excel spreadsheet with tabs for everything. It's all about getting your mind organised.