3dp5dt

[Curious4567]

Hi everyone, today I am 3dp5dt and it would be lovely to share the 2ww with someone! I’m currently feeling very positive but would love some support and to support others in the same boat!
hope to hear x

Anyone? Bump

Hi!

I didn't want to read and run, I'm at roughly the same stage: 4dp5dt.

I haven't joined any other groups as I reckon my circumstances are a bit odd: our transfer is from donor egg IVF in Poland so testing requirements and dates are completely different... but if you don't mind I'll happily wait with you!

When is your OTD? And have you transferred one, or two embryos? Oh, and how do you approach your TWW? Do you think you'll test early? I know I will, already peed on a stick this morning with a predictable BFN outcome 🤣

Wishing you best of luck and lots of patience for the coming days.

Hi! @Happibara Oh I’m so glad you replied! Of course I don’t mind! The 2ww can send you all over the place so happy to have you here! During the wait I have something planned to do most days, even if it’s just a walk through the forest or going for a coffee, I’m having a couple of Brazil nuts a day, some pomegranate juice and taking vitamin D and NAC, so I think the foods/ drinks work? Probably not, but I’ll try 😂 Right now I’m still calm and feeling positive however I am a chronic early tester!! I tell myself I’m not going to test until OTD but it always gets the better of me! Reading others stories about how they get BFP 3dp or 4dp5dt! How?! 😂 anyway, so of course I too tested today and it’s BFN too! Which I am not surprised about, I’ve told myself I’m now not going to test until 7dpo, but we’ll see! This is currently my second transfer however my first was a fresh cycle straight after egg collection and failed.
really praying that we both have positive outcomes and get our BFP’s asap! Oh and my OFT is the 27th, how about you?

Hello, how is your day going?

Yes, definitely it's nice to have company and try to keep yourself as busy as possible! I hope you get to keep feeling positive and then just move to the BFP excitement! 😊 You definitely have the healthy diet ticked on the checklist of improving implantation chances. I've been doing really well prior to transfer (So. Much. Beetroot!) but now I'm back to just "trying to eat healthy as a family" which usually works fine, but includes occasional pizza for dinner days.

Would you like to share a bit about your history? How did your egg collection and IVF cycle go? Did you have to wait long after the fresh transfer to start the FET preparations? I've done 2 unsuccessful own egg cycles this year and only ever had fresh transfers. All the remaining embryos failed the PGT-A tests, so I never got to have a FET, and this one was my first. It was on a medicated cycle, was yours natural, or also medicated?

A bit about me: we're doing IVF for an unexplained secondary infertility. We have a brilliant 3 year old son and have been struggling to give him a sibling since 2023. Had all the checks (other than immunology) done including HyCoSy, karyotype analysis, microbiome testing, advanced sperm profile with DNA frag, the lot. Nothing wrong apparently, we're just old. So after grieving the own egg IVF failure we went for donor eggs, had just 1 embryo from 6 eggs - so this is truly our last chance!

My OTD (if you can call it that) is actually tomorrow, just 6 days after the transfer! The clinic insists that in an ideal scenario the blood work will be able to pick up beta-HCG then. Afterwards they ask for a second test 48 hours after, and want to see the levels doubling - based on that they confirm the pregnancy! Of course, I won't be flying to Poland just to have my blood drawn, I have arranged for a local provider to do that and will just share my results.

It is all completely different to what my clinic in the UK was doing, they just wanted an urine test 13 DPT. Does your clinic do blood tests on your OTD?

Don't feel bad about the BFN, it is extremely rare to see anything on day 4! Personally I feel testing gives me a sense of progress (marking days passing even if tests are still blank) and actually is less stressful for me than trying to stop myself from testing 😂. And of course I have continued today. Mixed results, but cautiously optimistic:

Did a test first thing in the morning, I thought I could see a very faint second line on it. My partner did not. 🙈 Asked me to take an unused test and put them side by side, then grudgingly admitted that maybe he sees something? Finally asked me why I do this to myself 😆 Let's just say it wasn't the vote of confidence I looked for.

I've shared the photo with a friend who's also an IVF warrior and she's a lot more positive, so there's that. I'll test again tonight and then again tomorrow before my appointment.

Hi, it’s not been too bad actually! Oh I am not sure about the healthy diet! I’ve added those things in, but my day to day definitely includes the odd pizza and chocolate, which I’m trying really hard not to eat but hey, everything in moderation? I’m not one for a strict diet.
tes of course! My egg collection was okay, and by okay, we got 2 embryos to day 5, one wasn’t able to be PGTA tested, soused this in the fresh cycle as a pop it in and hope, I knew even when we made the last minute decision to do the transfer it wasn’t going to work, I just knew. I spent the whole 10 days sick with worry and anxiety (don’t have that this time thankfully) but in short, 14 eggs were retrieved, 12 were mature, 8 fertilised, 2 made it to day 5 and 1 was good for PGTA and tested great! My clinic graded it a 2/2 which is good quality. This is the one that’s in now! It was hatching really well before transfer which they said was a really good sign too. So this is our last chance too before we would have to make some bigger decisions
having to do IVF wasn’t in my plans at all, I too have a gorgeous little boy who is almost 2, we conceived him naturally, it took about a year with a missed miscarriage at 10 weeks prior, then on the second month after fell pregnant again with him.
after 8 months of trying naturally, we decided to have some tests done which found I have low AMH, which is okay, but time isn’t on my side, I’m also 37 soon and have the AMH of a woman in her early- mid 40s. However my other half has low motility, which may explain why it’s taken so long on both occasions.
I too had all the tests done and were all good, my other half however hasn’t yet had the DNA frag, but we may look to do that in the near future.
may I ask why you chose a clinic in Poland? How have you found it? Did you use a clinic here previously? We’re at care fertility, I’m not sure how I feel about them, they’re not very hand holding, haven’t given straight answers on occasion and you don’t get to speak to a doctor often at all (which explains s the unknown answers from the nurses).
I agree with marking the days that are passing, it’s hard, but having a toddler keeps me busy too, wow, very exciting for your test day tomorrow! And I really hope you did see a positive earlier! I’m keeping everything crossed for you! Please do let me know how it goes?! I’ve said I won’t test tomorrow, but who knows, tomorrow is another day and it’s a woman’s prerogative to change her mind! 😂
look forward to hearing from you, I feel like I’ve gone back 30 years and have a pen pal again! 😂
keep thinking positive thoughts’
(Sorry if I’ve rambled)

You are absolutely right, this is so nice, like exchanging letters! I feel like I can properly focus on your story, not having to keep track of several others in the same thread.

Your little embryo bears all the hallmarks of success! It must be such a relief to have a PGT-A tested embryo to transfer, I'm not surprised you're feeling so positive about this cycle 🤩

It is interesting to hear your comments about Care fertility! We have had very similar experiences with TFP GCRM, which was the clinic we chose in the UK for our 2 cycles earlier this year. We sort of settled on them due to location (living in Scotland we did not have many options) and while I do not regret it, at the same time I could write an essay on the things we were not so sure, or happy, about.

What is your clinic's plan for your OTD and the monitoring in early pregnancy, if any? I'm keeping my fingers crossed you get to that stage and they will be supportive then.

Are you currently on any medication? If yes, one thing I would definitely recommend (on advice from my friend whom I mentioned before) is to arrange for a hormone levels check if pregnant, and to adjust your meds if needed; she was intermittently spotting after her BFP at home, which the clinic thought nothing of. Then when she finally got checked it turned out her progesterone levels were low. Apparently her body had weak response to the medication she was originally prescribed, and after swapping it she was fine.

When it comes to deciding on Poland, that has a very simple answer, and a long, complex one. Firstly, the easy & obvious: although we've lived in the UK for 20 years, myself and my partner are ethnically Polish. So we can communicate, navigate transport and accommodation easily. The quality of service is similar if not better in some aspects, and the cost is much lower than in Scotland (although that would also be true in many other European countries).

However, deciding we would try the donor egg route and that we would do it abroad, was very difficult and there are aspects of it that I am still not reconciled with. If it was possible, I would really have preferred to go with a UK-based donor, as they are not anonymous here. Sadly, our clinic advised that we would be looking at 18+ months waiting time before even being allowed to choose a donor; and we just haven't got time. Worth mentioning I've just turned 42 last month.

Feeling a bit silly worrying about donor anonymity, when I won't even be sure there will be a child, for weeks and weeks! But I truly feel sorry I could not give them a known donor - one of the things we have to prepare to navigate I guess.

Do you anticipate any early symptoms, based on your first pregnancy? I haven't had any with my first, until around 7 weeks. They were so absent I tested very other day just for reassurance - I guess my serial testing habit had its origins then!

Right now I do have symptoms, but I can attribute them all to the progesterone, so that's not much help. But I will be going for my blood draw tomorrow - can't wait!!! 🤞

SO.. I said I wouldn’t test today but low and behold, of course I did and still BFN. It’s okay, I’m remaining positive! My clinic don’t do blood tests unfortunately, so I am in for a looong wait although I’ve read that if you don’t have a positive by day 11, you can guarantee that it’s not your time. I actually don’t know what they do to monitor you if your pregnancy is successful however, I don’t think it is a lot, I have read of other clinics doing blood tests every other day and adjusting meds accordingly, but there definitely isn’t that here. I think I will take your advice (should I get there) and have my own blood tests done, just to be on the safe side! I spotted the whole way through the first trimester with my son and that was while on progesterone, although it was only 400mg once a day, I don’t think it was quite enough, but my body saw me through, thankfully!
For this cycle I am taking 12mg oestrogen tablets (4mg 3 x a day) evorell 100 patch, changed every other day and cyclogest 400mg 3 x a day, I believe this is quite high. I feel like I have been on medication for so long now, with egg retrieval, fresh transfer, cancelled cycle due to lining not thickening and now here, it makes me really swollen and gain weight, its exhausting not feeling like yourself, of course it will all be worth it when it’s successful but it is very hard not to be annoyed and frustrated at it all when it is not! Anyway, what are your meds and how are they treating you?
It must have been a huge and difficult decision to go with a donor egg and I really applaud you for it as many people would find that too difficult. I genuinely believe it doesn’t matter biologically, she would be yours and only yours regardless, I’ve had a couple of friends that were adopted at a very young age (I know that’s very different) but they always said that they never thought of their ‘biological’ person as anything other than their donor and that mum and dad were the ones who raised, loved and desperately wanted them. I think if anything it just shows how desperately wanted they were/are and it’s a really beautiful thing!
I have heard many things about Poland being better medically than the UK, such as IVF and dentistry! (Not sure if that’s true) but a couple of women that my mum worked with would say they would never have any work done here and would always fly home as everything was more modern and better. It’s strange we’re almost lead to believe that the UK is the best, so forward thinking, ahead, blah blah blah, but I no longer (and haven’t for a long time) believed that! I have also heard that the UK is still a little behind in some aspects of IVF and it can sometimes be a ‘one size fits all’. It is also crazy expensive (for everything now). I have considered going abroad for treatment (should it be required) but haven’t really known where to start as I sadly do not speak any other languages fluently! We’ll see what the future holds!
In my previous pregnancy, I had no symptoms, other than, one day of nausea at about 12 weeks, swollen/ big feet, they honestly grew a whole size and I swore I’d never fit back into my normal shoes again (I now do). It was quite an easy pregnancy to be honest although I did take full advantage of eating what I wanted and did put on a little more weight than I would have liked but my baby was super healthy delivered by c section as he was transverse and I didn’t fancy having him manually turned! And was a healthy 8 pounds 8, he was gorgeous (still is) any time I think of it, it makes me tear up (probably more so now because of all the meds haha) it was a magical experience although the weeks that followed were tough! How did you find it?
My chronic testing was also a thing then although I had my first scan at 5 weeks (due to previous miscarriage) and continued to have private scans every week (sometimes twice a week, they must have thought I was mad) to put my mind at ease (mostly because of the bleeding) that was up until 13 weeks, I’d love to say I calmed down then but I don’t really think I relaxed into he pregnancy until about 28 weeks, which when I look back on it, it’s quite sad really.
I am the same, I have and have had symptoms, lots of cramping, twinges and pulling, sore boobs, bloating, slightly bloody nose when I blow it (I had this when I was pregnant with my son too) but again all of these things are most likely down to the progesterone!
I am keeping everything crossed for your blood test today, everything!! Good luck, let me know how you get on

Hello, how are you? Have you had any luck testing, or are you trying to hold off until closer to the OTD?

I can completely understand what you are saying about medication, and the effect on the body! I know there are people who hardly have any side effects, but for me the toll it takes is real: with each cycle I've gained weight which I haven't been able to shift yet, as they've been so close together and then I was dealing with after-effects of Prostap injections which were part of my protocol; they basically put you into a "chemical menopause" for 12 weeks and rather than lose weight I actually gained a little! As a result I'm finishing the year edging into overweight BMI where I started it smack in the middle of "normal" range. Ah well, I suppose it will be worth it if we are successful 😁

Do you experience any adverse effects from all the progesterone? I felt okay when using it vaginally, but my clinic has added oral capsules as apparently my uptake was too slow. And these do make me feel quite unwell: vertigo, tiredness, mental fog. Not looking forward to dealing with that for 12 weeks; I will discuss this with the doctor when I get to speak to her.

You made me laugh mentioning your friend who would travel to Poland for any medical treatment; we too have friends who do that! I think it's mostly patriotism. or a little prejudice against services in the UK? I think the dentists are probably better as the required training in Poland is more extensive / longer, and equipment tends to be newer... but other than that I think it's a match.

Much less expensive though if you need to go private, so that probably decides for a lot of medical tourists. IVF-wise, I have found there was more emphasis on testing and investigations prior to beginning treatment, rather than simply assigning protocols based on age bracket and health questionnaire, which is what happened with our treatment in Scotland.

After learning all that I actually had a little wobble at the beginning, thinking we could have tried another own egg round with the Polish team, just to see if the outcome would be any better if they tailored everything to my specific results... but in the end their success statistics aren't that much better than in the UK, so we gave it up and went with donor eggs.

What really gave me pause was when we got the day 5 embryologist call and they said we only had one embryo! Turns out their "cutting edge" embryology lab and team didn't give us good numbers. I was very disappointed then, based on the predictions we expected 2-3. The embryologist kind of brushed my concerns off, saying you can never predict anything, all 6 eggs they ICSId were great, all went well... it's just luck that only one got to day 5, and insisted was still a successful cycle. Let's just say he did not manage to console me, but what could I do? And hopefully, one will be enough.

I have now had another positive test this morning, there is progression so I'm happy. And yesterday's test beta-HCG came back as 34, indicating PREGNANT! I'm not sure about other hormone levels, but will be discussing all of this with the doctor this afternoon, and I'll book repeat test for tomorrow.

Keeping my fingers crossed you'll see your BFP soon!

Hi! I have been thinking of you and praying you got the positive result, congratulations, that’s such incredible news!! Well OF COURSE I tested again and actually got a vvv faint line yesterday afternoon on cheapie strip tests, and another positive today on a cheapie strip, then I stupidly decided to do a digital (which granted needs a higher hcg reading) and that was negative, was really disappointing however, I’m going with the positives and am waiting for them to get a little darker! I am sure the one I did this afternoon was slightly darker than the one yesterday, but I’m guessing it’s still really early, 6dp5dt I think is very normal to still have very low hcg as some still have very negative early tests! Despite this, I still haven’t told my other half, I’m not sure why, ll! I think I don’t want him to think I’m crazy for testing early when they specifically tell you not to😂. I bet your other half must be thrilled?! it’s all very exciting and I just pray we both get the endings we desperately want!
the progesterone well, I currently have a slight headache, I have hot flushes, wake up at about 3am the last couple of nights and can’t get back to sleep, am extremely tired, bloated, definitely brain fog! I had all of that with my pregnancy with my son also though, but I remember by week 13 it all suddenly disappeared and I felt great! I’m very lucky at the moment as I’m still at home with my son, I left my job as it would have been too difficult to do my job well part time and really didn’t want to go back full time, so right now other than having to entertain and chase my son around, I don’t have to use my brain so much for ‘grown up things’ 😂
Yes you’re definitely right with that, I have seen others stories that suggest the same, there isn’t a lot of investigation here, just as you say dependant on age and questionnaire, where as other countries tend to delve a lot deeper it would seem! I thought the same, I thought we would get 3 that would be good for PGTA, but to only get one was quite disheartening to say the least!
what other hormones will you test? Oestrogen? Anything else?
ahh I wish you all the luck, I have a really good feeling for us both!
let me know!

That's brilliant news! I'm so pleased you got to see the line, hopefully it will continue to grow stronger and darker every day!

Just out of curiosity, I have asked the doctor about the at home / wee tests when I talked to her today; she said that their patients with "successful implantation" / positive blood test don't always see a positive at home urine tests on day 6... although she says that by 9DPT the urine test should pick something up. So your vvfl at 5DPT is actually quite early!

When do you think you will be ready to share your other half? I did tell my partner about the urine tests, and the blood test results. I think if it was up to him he would actually be happy waiting for a more definite answer, rather than over-analyse the lines on strips of paper I peed on He's happy and relieved, but probably not as wired / anxious / obsessed as I am. I think he's protecting himself by seeking distance from the emotions surrounding the early pregnancy; after all it's one big series of waiting periods, where any good news is just a hurdle on the way to the next challenge.

We did need to talk about whether to share the news though and I think this time we will be telling about the pregnancy early. With our son we waited until after the NIPT tests and dating scan, but we have not been able to keep the IVF secret from our families, with all this traveling to Poland. So they will be curious about the outcome, and will ask. I think it's okay to be quiet, but not to lie, so we decided to answer truthfully.

Do you anticipate your family will have an inkling you may have a sibling on the way? Have you decided on when and how you would share the news with them?

I'm taking 200mg oestradiol, 200mg vaginal progesterone, and 200mg oral progesterone, 3 times a day. Blood hormone levels were Okay so I will continue, the doctor said that I just have to persevere through the side effects as I need the progesterone; apparently the only other way to get it is through injections and they tend to have the same side effects (and be painful on top of that) so I guess I'll be going around wrapped in mental fog for the foreseeable future.

I am still doing the easy@home tests every morning and night; I have also tracked my RHR and compared it against how it tracked in my successful first pregnancy, it's looking good! Weirdly, I find this more reassuring than the line colour progression.

Have you tried any other method of monitoring? RHR, or BBT?

Do you think you will be testing every day until the 27th? Let me know how your line progresses tomorrow!

Good morning! Well this morning I have woken up to some pink blood! And although I know this can be very normal around this time, it has made me extremely nervous! Of course I have tested again and the line is still there.. I am not sure if there is much or any progression since yesterday, but then again I know hcg usually takes 48 hours to rise and I’m checking from yesterday afternoon like a crazy person! I’m going to call the clinic when they open, although I’m 99% sure all they will say is this can be normal, test next Thursday. They won’t do any scan to check my lining or bloods to make sure I’m getting enough oestrogen/progesterone.. not sure if I should push for anything, it’s really hard not being more knowledgeable about it all because you believe they’re the experts.. I’m sure they sometimes just ‘hope for the best’ and make assumptions.
now I think I will tell him today otherwise he’ll wonder what’s going on and I’ll feel guilty for withholding the truth!
providing all is okay, I’ll tell my family in a couple of weeks, my immediate family know that we’re going through IVF so they’ll be asking lots of questions!
during natural cycles I always tested my bbt but now that I am on progesterone I have read that it raises your temp so haven’t bothered this cycle!
I’ll definitely be testing every day but I am so nervous! I felt so positive previously and now this morning has flipped that on its head! I’m just keeping everything crossed and will take it easy today, although that’s hard with a toddler!

Oh dear, what a rollercoaster for you! Seeing blood must have been so upsetting. If it's not deep red / period-like then there's probably nothing wrong, and in fact it may be a good sign, that the implantation continues. I'm hoping this will be exactly what it turns out to be! It's probably a good ideal to just take it easy today.

Sadly, we are having similar experiences at this stage. My test from last evening was actually lighter than the one from yesterday morning, which already put me in a tailspin. 😞 And this morning's is also not a shade darker than the one from yesterday morning - actually maybe even a smidge lighter. So now I'm torturing myself looking at them side by side since 7am.

So let's just say I'm not in an optimistic mood before the second blood draw scheduled for lunchtime. It's great I'll have a number to compare, instead of shades of pink on a pee stick. But I can't shake the thought that when I open the email the numbers won't be good.

I agree with you 100%, it's amazing how this process can affect your wellbeing! Yesterday I felt so calm and optimistic and today just dreadful, almost shaking with anxiety.

Anyway, the only thing I can do is go through with it, and wait some more, and some more...😊 I hope we'll both have better news for each other tomorrow!

Oh no, I’m crossing everything for you and wishing for those big numbers!
i couldnt just sit it out so I’ve just been for a blood test, ill get the results tomorrow and then will have another test on to see how it’s progressed! I’ve just got home now, I’ll keep you updated but just wanted to message quickly to say I’m thinking of you!

Hi, I hope you’re okay! I thought I’d give you a small update, so I did another test first thing this morning, and the test was so ridiculously light, I went into panic mode, and was convinced it was over, then I thought, I’ve heard quite a few stories where some women’s hcg levels are higher later in the day so I decided to test again at 11am, the line was a lot darker, still light but obvious on a first response, then I was confused and was feeling a little more positive, THEN I got my blood test result and it’s very low at 12.5 and that was on 7dp5dt and it’s completely thrown me off again!
I have no idea what to think and the wait until my following blood test results on Tuesday feel like a lifetime away.
i really hope that you’re in a more certain place than I am right now!
wishing you all the luck!

Hello

Hope you're feeling a bit more positive, it's so confusing having contradictory data!!! That mixture hope, apprehension and resolve is just terrible. I feel exactly the same, waiting for each next test, and result, is excruciating!

You wrote that your next result is on Tuesday, does this mean test Monday? Fingers crossed you see a strong rise!

Have you talked to your other half about all this yet? It may be good to have him be aware of what you're going through, it would be hard to have all this anxiety and heartache inside and just try to act normal...

I'm actually finding that the second morning tests tend to be darker for me, I think it's a consequence of all the cups of tea I'm having in the evening, especially now in cold weather. I've switched to decaf tea and since then I'm just continuously sipping... so perhaps that's what's affecting the "first morning tests".

To be honest, my test lines are still light and I see very little progression, so that's seriously bumming me out, my heart is racing and I'm sweating before looking at how they turned out, every time. And my second blood result shows decent doubling rate and my doctor has just confirmed she's happy with that. So maybe they just aren't very sensitive?

Following the call with the clinic I've made my next appointments, for the 1st and 9th December, they will include scans. And I'm going to try and limit myself to just one test a day, in the morning. The day before yesterday and yesterday I've probably done at least 5 tests and agonised over them endlessly. They were lighter, a smidge darker lighter again... the darker ones didn't reassure me, and any light one just sent me into panic mode. So I'll try to test less.

On a different subject, we've just had a concerning health update from my mum yesterday, which gave me something completely different to worry about! So I'm resolving to try and be more present for my family, spend some time in fresh air, and limit my googling and symptom spotting as best I can.

Keeping everything crossed for your next blood test!!! Let me know how it progresses!

Good morning!
isn’t it just! It’s so up and down, one minute you’re on a massive high celebrating (quietly internally) the next slammed straight back down to earth! There is so much data out there saying my hcg is low but then there is also so much out there saying that hcg as 7dp5dt which I guess equates to around 3 weeks and 5 days can be as low as 5 and can also be as low as 5 starting in the 4th week! So who knows! I’ve decided not to test today as I don’t want to be even more stressed. saying that, I do think I’ll do a digital test on Tuesday (second morning urine) just to see before my results come in, almost prepare me? we’ll see!

oh yes, I told my other half on Friday morning before I lost it with the really faint test and booked the blood test, I couldn’t hold it in any longer. Poor guy, he was trying to be really positive about it and there was me just saying no, no, the test wouldn’t be like this if it was all okay, no! Then lo and behold the darker test on Saturday, he supports me in it all and with absolutely everything but inside I wouldn’t be surprised if he thinks I’ve gone a bit mad! I have! I think that’s just what trying to conceive does to women, especially those that struggle, it’s incredibly fascinating but horrible what it does to us all! Fascinating because it’s an innate thing that we almost have zero control over that does the same to all of us, really, it’s just nice to know that we’re not alone in our thoughts and feelings!

Anyway, Yes, my test is tomorrow morning and I should get the results on Tuesday, I am nervous, but I’m really hopeful, we shall see! It’s just so frustrating that my symptoms are nowhere near what they were, but then I think were they just the progesterone supplements anyway, not ‘real’ symptoms and my body was getting used to them, I could spin anything in any which way at this moment! I’ll remain hopeful until told otherwise and I pray that I’m not!

you’re results sound great! And if your doctor is happy then you should be too, how exciting!! I’m so so pleased for you! I feel your pain with doing 5 tests in a couple of days 😂 I’ve been there, I know we’ll both look back and think, we shouldn’t have done that, it would have been much calmer if, blah blah blah 😂!
im really sorry to hear about your mum, that must be worrying! I really do hope that she will be okay? I know what you mean about being present though, sometimes I am so in my own head and google that I have to pull myself out and remember I do have a life and a family and friends! It’s hard though so don’t be hard on yourself! I think I’m going to go for a walk today (if the rain holds off) and I won’t take my phone (as hard as that will be).
look forward to any updates!
speak soon

Hello, hope you had a lovely Sunday and managed to relax a bit.
I've been trying to get some mindspace today with mixed results - being outdoors does the trick and charges my battery, so being able to go for a long, albeit rainy, walk was really great. But other than that I keep catching myself drifting into endless "what if" thought spirals. I try to break out of them, and then in no time realise I'm doing it again 😶

Some of these thoughts, and thus-inspired Google searches are genuinely ridiculous. And I confess I've banned myself from searching other people's test line progression photos, that was getting out of hand 😂 Part of the trouble though is that I also need to deal with some real life arrangements and my mind just keeps looping back to them:

I need to book scan / test appointments that my clinic recommends for the first week of December; book flights for the visit to my clinic in the following week; and make appointments with the Polish clinic itself. And even contact the local midwife team and talk appointment times with them, since, if I stay pregnant, I will not be in Scotland to attend my appointments between week 8 and 10, so I need to talk about an alternative.

On one hand it all needs to be done, and there will be trouble if I don't get to it: I'm still smarting from the time before the transfer, when I waited until the last minute to book the flights and paid a fortune 🙈. But on the other hand it feels so presumptive, as if I was jinxing things, to make such plans. It all hinges on me staying pregnant, and that's a big unknown. But hey, never mind, I'll try to get them confirmed / booked etc tomorrow, with he hope that once it's done I'll be able to move on to other subjects.

I'm also looking forward to work distractions this week: I will be away from home Tuesday until Thursday, so I anticipate the week will go very quickly for me (probably less so for my partner who will stay home with our 3 year old).

I'm so glad you've told your other half, and you made me laugh describing your conversation. I bet any IVF couple post-transfer could have said that paragraph was about them! 😅 You are absolutely right, sometimes I feel like I've just left my rational mind in the cloak room of the first IVF clinic I ever set my foot in 🤣

On a serious note though, I am actually finding communicating about how I feel in the process quite hard. It's much easier to share with a stranger on a forum; they have context to commiserate / understand, but (hopefully) won't feel weighed down by it. If I say how I get into Google rabbit holes or take 5 tests a day it won't worry anybody. I want to share how I feel with my partner and family, but not to burden them, and I am genuinely embarrassed about how irrational I get! It's a muddle, and it makes accepting support harder - not a good combination. I hope your other half helped you keep an even keel this weekend.

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow, let me know how you are feeling after the test. Stay positive!

Morning!
Sunday was fairly relaxing, my other half took our little one out to do some fun things for most of the afternoon, so I was able to put my feet up for a bit!
mum glad you managed to get out and feel some peace, it’s so important and I think as mums already, its even harder! I am terrible at taking my own advice but I think it’s so important to think of the now and remember that everything right now is so so good! I found I really had to train myself to do this after the birth of my son as I had terrible intrusive thoughts about what ifs, what coulds and all the rest! It’s hard but I find when my head starts to spin, I take a really deep breath, close my eyes and really take in the present. It honestly even works with my son and he’s almost 2! When he’s really stressed, crying and can’t get regulate, I get really close to him and say take a deep breath, he does and he calms down almost instantly. anyway, we both need to take more deep breaths and take in the present!
I have a really good feeling for you!
I know exactly what you mean about not wanting to jinx things, it’s so hard, but just think about the positive things, also that fact that your hcg has been doubling, is such a great sign!
it is SO much easier to say to a stranger, especially one that is going through the same thing, the ones that are not going through it, will never be able to comprehend it and we know that, so absolutely we would look a little hinged to them!, even if they pretend to understand, they couldn’t possibly, and that’s okay! So yes, I completely understand why you struggle to talk about it at home, I do too! I’ve said what I need to get me and him by in all honesty!

so I have had my blood test and await the results tomorrow! I’m feeling positive about it though as with my own craziness, I decided to
do my own experiment! All of the tests I had been using are the very early detection tests that measure from 10miu hcg whereas today I went and bought a test that only measures from 25hcg, my hcg on Friday was 12.5 and today the 25hcg test was a very clear and quick positive!! I was shaking and obviously thrilled, so now I’m just eagerly waiting the blood results!! I’ll let you know as soon as I get them!
wishing you a calm
and peaceful day today!
thinking of you!!

Keeping my fingers crossed for your bHCG test outcome! I'm extremely impressed with your standard / 25miu test hack. It may be even more reassuring than you give it credit for: after all it's only picking the HCG from urine, where blood serum titration is bound to be higher. I so hope that your result will reflect that!

I have decided to just be as efficient / unemotional as possible today, and make all the calls, and book all the appointments this morning. To be fair, it turns out I might have not bothered, to a degree 😅:

• There is not a single private clinic in Edinburgh, Glasgow or surrounding area that would offer me a 5 week scan that my clinic asked for; all f them only scan after 6 weeks. So then the consultation with the Polish doctor will be less informative than it could have been. But hey, I can't change that, so moving on. After checking with the clinic, they advised me to just do another round of bloods on Monday and review that in absence of a scan, so I will do that.

• The midwives told me they won't book me in, and to just call them after my week 6 scan in December; apparently they don't bother with IVF patients while they are still (even nominally) under the care of their clinics. They were perfectly nice about it, but still a waste of my time. And additionally that means that my booking appointment won't take place until after 10 weeks, which seems odd and is against guidelines on their own website. Ah well, NHS is stretched I suppose 🤨.

• I've booked the flight to Poland for the 8th, but couldn't book the return as there's nothing flying back until the evening of the 11th (when we decided to go ahead with the IVF in Poland there were flights daily, so this continues to surprise me). So it will be another expensive journey with flight changes 🙈. At this point I got fed up and decided to think of it later.

I'm laughing thinking about this series of calls now, in hindsight it is comical, a series of thwarted expectations, like a comedy sketch 🤣

My tests continue to ger marginally darker, but it's small increments and overall they seem very pale. Worries me to no end, but I guess I will continue to do them every AM, while I see any progression at all, which I think I do.

I can't even blame the batch as they are from like 2 or 3 different ones... So on my lunch break I've gone to the store and picked up a standard pregnancy weeks clearblue test 🙃 I was relieved to see the "2-3 weeks" on it, which I think is OK for where I am. So that's a relief. Unfortunately, next unambiguous data point will not come until Monday. I may decide to do another blood test while away in Manchester this week, I'm so stressed by this waiting.

I love your idea of the little breathing exercise, and of your little one finding it calming. We need these deep breaths now! I personally hope I'll be to busy to think about private matters much in the next few days, but I bet I'll make up for it over the weekend.

I hope you'll get the results quickly tomorrow and they will be everything you hope for! Goodnight 😊

Hello, hope you are well.

I was just thinking of you 😊 I hope your second test has turned out well? Don't feel pressured to reply in case you'd rather not, just do what's best for you - I just wanted to let you know I'm here if you'd like to get in touch, ready to listen support and cheer you on!

I'm just as busy as expected on my work trip, in Manchester since yesterday. Haven't had chance to obsess / test / Google all that much which, together with a social boost of seeing colleagues and doing different tasks, has been very nice.

No updates otherwise, I am still doing one test every morning with the lines getting ever so slightly darker (still rather pale overall); I've decided to finish the box I've bought and then stop, even if I do not get a dye stealer by then. I think the easy@home are just not very saturated, so decided to stop worrying about this.

Sending you lots of strength and patience!

Hey!
so a whole day late, I FINALLY got my blood results and it was 54.2 so much for than doubled, which is great news! I STILL did a test this morning and it was fairly pale still, darker than the originals that were definite squinted but by no means a dye stealer! I’ve been using cheapie amazing ones too along with the clear blue for the 25hcg reading, but I’ve come to the conclusion that no testing will change destiny! And honestly I feel really positive, I really do for you too and I k ow that means nothing come from a stranger but (and I know ill sound a bit woo woo) but I always trust my gut and this time it is and it always has been telling me this is going to work. So I’m believing it! Also testing just stresses me out more 😂

really glad you’re managing to keep busy! I think that’s important to keep us sane! Thank you so much for being my support and sounding board, it really has kept my sanity, so thank you, I really appreciate it!

my clinic will call tomorrow as it’s my OTD. I think they’ll book in a scan although from what I’ve heard it won’t be until 8 weeks! I can’t wait that long! I think I’ll get a scan elsewhere between 6 and 7! will definitely need strengths fb patience between now and then!

Hello, thank you for the update :).

I am SO glad your result was showing good progression! You have every right to feel positive, this is big! 🙌 It's the most important measure, and your doubling rate is well above the target. Do you think you will mention this to the clinic team when you contact them today?

What is their protocol for the OTD anyway? Will they just ask you to confirm you've taken an at home pregnancy test and let them know the result? That was what out clinic in Scotland required earlier this year.

Fingers crossed they will be able to book you in for a scan early... but if not, then I would definitely consider getting a private scan for the middle of week 7 (like p weeks 3, or 4 days). Heartbeat should be visible then so that should be immensely reassuring! I definitely would, as it is the Polish clinic has booked me in for 6 weeks 2 days.

I am oscillating toward "anxious and worried" again; this time because of the RHR tracking; basically it is supposed to raise from baseline until week 5-6 and then decline (before going back up at later stages); and that's exactly what it did in my first pregnancy. This time it has been decreasing since the day I hit 4 weeks 🙈.

I've done a ton of research on that but found no definitive answers: it is possible that this is fine, and caused by the differences in hormone levels in the medicated FET cycle (apparently the hormone support of Oestradiol and Progestrerone we get after FET doesn't provide ALL the hormones the corpus luteum would produce in the natural cycle - I didn't know that, and found it super interesting 😁).

But it's equally possible it is just a bad sign, and that's it. I haven't had a HCG test since before the drop happened, so I am starting to doubt that it continued to rise after last Friday. And TBH my tests are still not very dark, so I feel don't know what's happening and I'm just constantly stressing over this.

Now leaning toward forking out some more money on another HCG test today 🙃; I could probably get it done on my way to the train station, as I'm coming back north today.

Will let you know what I decided, so tempted to just book it and at least hope for some reassurance!

Hope you continue feeling positive! Let me know how did you get along with the clinic. And are you developing any symptoms yet? Nothing for me, but I just keep telling myself it's too early. Seriously, at this point I'd be reassured by some nausea, just to have a stereotypical sign that things are progressing 😅
Keep safe!

Hey!
hope you’re doing okay?
yes, I was really pleased with the result, it was a relief to say the least! I had it in mind that I would
be happy with 30 and above. I didn’t tell the clinic about the results this morning, they don’t do any bloods, just a test today and then have booked me in for a scan on the second 16th of December which feels like a lifetime away! To have nothing between then and now seems very strange! I’m not sure if I’ll have any tests or do any tests, I’m really tempted not to because I know I’ll just go down a massive hole and won’t be able to focus on anything else at all. But it’s so hard.

i don’t think my RHR has changed to be honest at least not by much! I was testing my BBT prior to IVF but learned that there is no point in a medicated cycle because progesterone increases your temp as well so it’s not accurate. I think it’s also the same for RHR? So I really wouldn’t worry about that.

what were each of your beta results? Did you have 2? My pregnancy tests have never been really dark and are still not, I did a weeks detector one today and it says 1-2 weeks but that’s normal, apparently the detector within them can ‘lag’ and 1-2 weeks is very normal with IVF up to 14-17dp5dt I may do another one in a week to see if it’s gone up to 2-3 weeks and leave it at that! Eeek

i did have small waves of nausea but that’s disappeared. I now have a sore throat and constant headache but that’s disappeared could be pregnancy related or it could just be that I’m unlucky and have got a cold! 😂 I’ve also got a constant headache which is pretty annoying now!
do let me know what you decide!
speak soon

Hello, how are you? Hope you are not developing a cold, that would be miserable on top of all the mental toll post-transfer! I do realise it may be unavoidable with a toddler, I swear in winter season we are all coming down with something every other week, like clockwork!

I agree, it's a long time to wait for a scan! On a positive note, with it scheduled so late, you should have very unambiguous reassuring results by then.
Going by my clinics advice, they expect to be able to see a gestational sac at 5 weeks, and an embryo with a heartbeat flicker by 6 weeks 1 day.
But I've read posts from a lot of ladies whose embryos were 1 or 2 days "slower" and they were so anguished by not seeing the heart! So I'd probably take that into consideration if you decide to book a private scan.... as well as possible issues with the scanning equipment quality! So if booking private I'd probably give it a few extra days.

I now think that this time round I won't get to the scan appointment: I did go for a test yesterday, but sadly it wasn't reassuring. My at home urine tests are getting lighter and blood HCG also declined, so I'm quite certain now that I'm out 😞.

Since you asked, the beta results were: 6dpt - 34; 8dpt - 117; 12dpt - 573, 14dpt - 226. I had the darkest home test line on 12/13dpt, and they got progressively lighter after that. And my RHR has dropped on 11dpt.
So I think that the embryo has stopped developing around 11/12dpt, after that my body has just been catching up with the bad news.

I'm really crushed, but also not surprised, I think on some level I was just anticipating this since Monday... even the relatively good test on Tuesday did not reassure me in light of all the other symptoms.

I have already emailed my clinic in Poland with the most recent results; I've told them I think it wasn't successful this time, and asked for a consultation asap. Hopefully I will be able to get the doctor's approval to discontinue the medication and talk about the next steps.

I have no idea what we will decide, but I'm very conscious that if we wanted to try again we'd probably need to go ahead soon; otherwise all the test results we've paid for will go out of date and we'll have to travel, and pay, again!

So that makes me just want to commit to another cycle quickly. On the other hand, is it just my brain trying to skip through the hard feelings I'm having now? Signing up for another cycle just to avoid feeling grief for this failed one is probably a bad idea... 😅

I apologise if I've just bummed you out, I hope I have not contributed to your anxiety! I sincerely hope that this disaster has used up the entire store of bad luck in our chat, and you will continue to only have good news! Keeping my fingers, and toes! crossed for you 🤞🤞🤞 Let me know how things progress.

Oh no!! I am so so sorry to hear this, I really thought this was both of our times!! And I am so gutted it has ended this way for you! I’m shocked that HCG rose so well to start and then came to a stop, I’m devastated for you.
I know what you mean about just wanting to stop the meds and moved on, I was the same with my last transfer, i knew very early that it hadn’t worked as I started to bleed very heavily from 9dp5dt and I never tested positive before that. And all I wanted was to stop the meds and move on, what do I do, what can I do next? I felt that I needed to be doing something proactive, moving forward to make me believe that the ending I was so desperate for was getting closer. Ugghh, it’s so awful!

was this embryo PGTA tested? Not that it means it should have been a success but maybe it will help the clinic with what to look at next or what they don’t need to look at?

honestly my mouth is wide open, I cannot believe it. I’m sure I don’t need to say it, but take this weekend to take some time and really look after yourself, if I lived in Scotland I would honestly pop round and do anything to try and make something better even just drop a cake round, I love cake in good and bad times. Although im that annoying person that needs gluten free.

i haven’t done anymore tests and I haven’t booked bloods, although I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t tempted!
I think I’ll wait until Monday or Tuesday and do another weeks indicator to see if it’s gone up to 2-3 weeks, if it hasn’t, I’ll get a blood test and go from there. We’ll see.

please do carry on writing to me and tell me how you are, what your plans are etc. I’ll continue to be your support no matter my outcome!
I really am thinking of you and your family
xx