3dp5dt

[Curious4567]

Hi everyone, today I am 3dp5dt and it would be lovely to share the 2ww with someone! I’m currently feeling very positive but would love some support and to support others in the same boat!
hope to hear x

Good morning,
I just wanted to let you know that I have been thinking of you and I really hope you are okay (as best as you can be). Don’t feel you have to message back at all. Just wanted you to know.
my thoughts are with you

Hello, thank you for reaching out and for your previous message! That means a lot, having support from a person who can emphasise ❤️‍🩹.

I've been thinking about you too, but to be honest there hasn't been all that much to report. I'm trying to focus on the next steps as a way to not dwell on the disappointment. Not sure if that's the right way to get through this moment, but are there any "good" ways? The everyday life continues with no interruptions; we are following next steps in the IVF process (an appointment, a call, an email) and hopefully we move on.

After I contacted the clinic team on Friday I had a call with the doctor who recommended that I get another test done just to confirm the trend - apparently they aren't willing to make clinical decisions before seeing 2 consecutive falling results. So I went for another blood draw yesterday, and predictably, the HCG is falling at a steady rate: 26 yesterday, so I think it is dropping 30-40% every day. Today's home test's line is almost invisible.

I've already contacted the patient support team and they said they would be in touch tomorrow, after I've again reviewed the result with the doctor this afternoon. I hope to get an OK to stop medication (sneakily I've already skipped this morning's meds and do not intend to take them again this cycle 😅) and talk about another cycle.

From the conversation with the patient support team, there are some positives: all the tests we've run before the IVF will still be in date if we decide to go ahead with another cycle within a few months.

They did also say I can ask the doctor about more-in depth diagnostic before next cycle; not sure what that would entail but I will definitely ask.
And of course I will also try to get some answers about this cycle, although I doubt there will be any: my blood results were great before they weren't, and hormone levels seemed within acceptable range... so I think the clinic will just say it's bad luck / aneuploid embryo.

Our embryo wasn't PGT tested as it was the only one from a cohort of 6 eggs; we thought we'd test them if there were more than one, to choose the most likely candidate, but in the end there was only the one. However, the donor was 25 years old, so even the clinic team at the time said they would not normally recommend PGTA; there is over 80% chance eggs of such young woman are chromosomally normal.

If we do another cycle, we'll choose another donor definitely and again consider PGTA if there are 2 or more embryos. What we are debating though is whether to go for more eggs 😶?

Everywhere I look it seems the consensus is that 6 should be enough, but now, having found myself on the wrong side of the statistics I'm starting to waver... On the other hand this is a huge expense! And we know that if I got pregnant we would not use any "spare" embryos; we just want one child to complete our family.

I intend to ask about the donor statistics and see if maybe we can choose one with proven past success, not sure if that's something they will disclose though.

I feel I am grasping at straws here, I hope the clinic will be able to provide some reassurance or guidance today. Will keep you updated

How are you getting on awaiting your scan? It must feel like forever, but I hope the 2 weeks will be over before you know it!

And how are you feeling in yourself? Has it begun to sink in yet, or not really? Are you developing any symptoms? And have you been able to stay away from the home tests, or given in to temptation? Not recommending that you do, but I know I would not have been able to stop myself (and TBH I'm glad I tested daily, so now I have full picture, plus definitely avoided a shock at seeing my blood results today).

Are you looking forward to Christmas? It must be wonderful to have your private source of joy 💖 and getting into the spirit of the season, with decorations, or activities with your little one, may be a good way to help pass the time before the appointments. Let me know how you are getting on!

Hi, I’m so pleased to hear from you, it’s just so sad it’s not on better terms! I don’t blame you for discontinuing the meds, I’d do the same!
unfortunately, I fear that I all in the same boat, I had another blood test and my hcg isn’t rising as it should, it over the week it was doubling every 4 days so I’m really not hopeful at all, at 17dp5dt it was 175.3… eeek!! I’ve spoken to my clinic about it and I’m waiting for them to come back to me. My main concern is that it may be ectopic. Or it may just be that it had risen normally and had already started to decrease when I had the blood test the week later. Either way it doesn’t bode well and I too just want this to be over!
I do still have symptoms which is strange but I guess that could just be the progesterone that I’m taking, so who knows, I feel exhausted and ‘over it’ the highs and lows are just so much, I just want to hibernate! Which is impossible with a toddler! Haha.
anyway, Christmas should be nice we’re at my sisters for Christmas Day, the only tough thing is that my younger sister is 20 weeks pregnant and she wasn’t even trying.. of course I’m happy for her, but it’s hard to be around and for that I feel mean!
my embryo was PGTA tested, but if what I fear is coming true then what a waste of £3000 or however much is was 🤦🏽‍♀️😂.
i have no idea what we’ll do next! Absolutely no idea.. I don’t know if I feel like I need a break or just go straight back into it, I’m so desperate for another baby but mentally it’s a tough one!
ill keep you updated, I hope you can move past this as best you can and I’m praying hard for the next one!!
keep me updated!

Hi, how are you?

I'm so sad to hear about your blood result, the beta hell is just horrible 😔. And what rotten luck, I can't believe you're also facing a loss, after such a good start, and with a tested healthy embryo!!! I can't express how sorry I am for you both facing this loss.

Have you heard back from your clinic team? Possible ectopic is a serious concern - I hope they can confirm some next steps, and reassure you about the potential risks... from hearsay potentially they may just decide to get you to have another blood test and if the levels are dropping then that's actually reassuring (ectopic-wise, in itself of course it's horrible!). There's a good chance that your theory about levels beginning to drop before your test is true, but it's always best to check.

I think that at this stage, not having any answers as of what to do next is absolutely normal and expected . You, and your other half, deserve to take as much time as you need to process this. I guess a lot will depend on what your clinic has to tell you in your review:
My own experience shows that age / egg chromosomal abnormalities are the biggest issue: out of 7 embryos we've had on own egg cycles not a single one was normal or implanted if transferred without testing. So in your case, with male factor and low AMH but still before 40, there are probably a lot of options to adjust if you choose to try again in the future.

Taking a break won't hurt and it may actually help you both ❤️‍🩹. I think it is best to NOT expect to be able to reach any certainty, we both found that ambiguity and doubt are just a constant part of this journey.

I know that it will be a hard over Christmas, seeing your happily pregnant sister (seriously, myself I'm swarmed with expecting mothers: family members, colleagues, even my dentist yesterday told me she's having a second child, I nearly burst into tears in the dentist seat 🙈). But I'm sure your love for one another and for your son will get you through it.

And must say I completely understand that you just want an unsuccessful cycle to be over, I feel exactly the same 😣. If I could I'd just wind the clock forward, to March or so, when this cycle is nicely in the past and hopefully we've moved on to the next steps. Unfortunately it doesn't work this way... I think emotionally I'm worse now than I was last week: then I was just confirming something I've suspected all along, in a way it was a bit reassuring not to feel "crazy" anymore.

This week I am catching myself dwelling on the feelings of unfairness and disappointment. And uncertainty; this has taken away the little confidence I've had in the donor egg process - turns out it's just like a regular IVF, and not matter how good the success predictions are I can still fall on the wrong side of the statistic. Unavoidable, I know, but it makes it a lot harder to commit to the next steps.

I am waiting for our Polish clinic to get in touch; the doctor was supposed to put together a future diagnostic and treatment plan today, so hopefully they will be in touch before tomorrow pm. No idea what this will entail, looking at the internet it may be hysteroscopy or/and a biopsy, or immune testing, or hormonal profiling, or a combination. I'm curious but not overly optimistic, will keep you posted.

I'm thinking of you, let me know how you are keeping. I'm hoping for some peace and joy in December for both of us. ✨

Hey, good evening,
thank you for messaging back, your kind words also mean a lot. I honestly had such a good feeling this time round and thought it was going to work, I feel silly for feeling such positivity, I felt like I just knew. But sadly there was another plan. I had my next beta through this afternoon and as I thought my hcg had gone down to 119.3.. it’s devastating but I knew within my heart since Monday, and although there have been tears, I do feel like I’d already prepared myself for the worst.

im definitely not waiting for my call with the clinic to stop meds, I don’t think I’m going to take them this evening. I’m 99% sure they don’t scan or anything to see if they can see a reason for the pregnancy not continuing so I don’t want to delay the inevitable, I too know what you mean about being reassured that you’re not crazy! The second I booked the beta for Monday (on the Saturday) my heart knew and I was an anxious wreck.

I’ve been trying to do some research earlier and am trying to see if there are some better clinics, but it all seems a bit of a minefield to be honest. I have read that some of the best clinics are abroad but it does make me nervous due to language barriers. Maybe all of this research is due to not wanting to sit in the moment anyway, who knows!

what I do know is that ill be glad to get off the meds and have a little break even if it’s a matter of weeks to get my head straight and be so much more present with my son, I feel so guilty and feel that I have not been myself over the last however many weeks.

did your clinic come back to you today? I’m hoping you feel a little more positive if they have, but I completely understand you being cautious and finding it hard to commit. To have absolutely no idea if it’s going to work while throwing thousands upon thousands into the wind is scary.. I keep saying if someone could guarantee that I would have a baby if I spent £50k or more, I’d do it, but to spend tens of thousands and just get my heart broken makes me feel sick. Isn’t it awful.

i spoke to my other half briefly ( he’s not long been in) and I feel bad that I never really think about how this all affects him, he said he was feeling miserable too, IVF has really made me very insular and I seem to keep everyone at a distance, I guess that’s something ill try to work on next time. For now though he has just nipped out to get a couple of pizzas and some chocolate so that we can ‘eat our feelings’ instead of talking about them this evening! Thinking about food, I’ll be glad to get rid of some of this weight! Last round I almost immediately lost 2.5 kilos and felt better, I don’t know about you but I go all squishy like I’m filled with water on the meds, not that I really care!

I hope you feel better with each passing hour, I’m sure I will and there will be more highs and lows to come, I’m so grateful to have and to have had you on this journey, i think I’ve coped a lot better with you!
let me know how you get on with your clinic!
speak soon!

@Curious4567 @Happibara I just wanted to pop in and say how lovely it’s been reading the messages you have been sending to eachother. You can really feel the empathy, support and understanding on both sides. My heart breaks that neither of you got the result you wanted from this process, and I wish nothing but the best for you going forwards. My gyno said a while ago that in biology sadly 1 + 1 doesn’t make 2, and even with a pgta tested embryo they say you need 2-3 to get 1 live birth, so please don’t think there is anything either of you has done to cause this. Not even the doctors and experts know what “it” is that makes IVF work in the end. Sending a lot of love and thank you both for showing some true warmth for eachother in what is a really shitty situation.

Hi @zirafica thank you for your kind words. I must say I'm really glad I've joined this conversation, it was a much needed space to share what had been going through my head with someone who understands the context. I've got support in my partner and friends but it's just different, isn't it?

When talking to even most well-meaning people from outside "going through IVF" club I feel I have to spend 1/3 of the time justifying my feelings, 1/3 toning them down and the remaining 1/3 helping them understand/process etc 😂. So it's wonderful to have a wider community and a pen pal who gets you 💖

How is your journey so far? I hope you are in a good place!

Hey @Curious4567 I'm glad I could offer some support, it's been great having you to write really long messages to! 🥰 How are you? Have you had any contact with the clinic? Do yours do some sort of a review after an unsuccessful cycle? It may be worth hearing what they've got to propose with regards to next steps, if you're already thinking of clinics abroad! Obviously, I have some thoughts on that, hope it helps:

When it comes to deciding about treatment abroad, I'd say don't write it off, if you would be considering another cycle. My personal experience is obviously from Poland as a Polish-speaking customer, so that's easy mode. But I see couples from the UK at the clinic at every visit and they're all fine! All staff speak good English, the documents exist in both language versions etc. So I wouldn't let that worry you.

However, there's one thing that I personally struggled with: there was a lot of misunderstandings where I feel they should have explained something about the admin/process side of things better (I think it comes from the way health services function differently, local patients are used to that from other medical appointments and are not taken back... However, I haven't been a patient here for 20 years! so how am I supposed to know 😂)

I think it would be true for other countries as well, the unspoken assumptions or social expectations are a thing. 😅 The solution for that was to swallow my pride and just ask for explanation/instructions at every step. Makes you feel a little incompetent and like a nuisance, but nobody objected and I feel much better organised since.

Also worth considering that there are English language / culturally close foreign clinics; my Scottish clinic FB forum is full of patients who moved their treatment from Scotland to Therapie clinic in Dublin and are extremely impressed (and also commented it was cheaper).

For us the choice was simple: once disappointed with our clinic and unwilling to wait for DE we know it would be either London or abroad, and abroad just worked so much less expensive, with similar travel/inconvenience.

Anyway, it may just be too early to decide, try to choose a pace for the next steps that will suit you both! it's such a balancing act between disappointment, exhaustion, and drive to move on, have a plan, feel hopeful again. Sending hugs 🤗

How are you feeling after stopping meds? Have you had any side effects from stopping them? I think I've had some, but nothing too serious. I'm very envious though that you are looking forward to shifting IVF weight ❤️ mine just had not come off since beginning my first cycle in January 🙈.

An update from us is that I've used my already booked flights to come to Poland and give some blood samples for initial immunology testing. Apparently that's the more in depth diagnostic they clinic has thought of for now. As I understand, depending on the results, they may offer some medication support around transfer, to reduce early miscarriage risk. It's early steps, don't know what to think 🤔

Other than that we've decided to proceed with another donor egg cycle, I've reserved the eggs 🥚 and we'll hopefully get green light for IVF before Christmas. I'll keep you posted, but likely nothing exciting will happen for a while. We're looking at IVF, then PGT-A testing, then transfer prep so probably earliest transfer time will be February. I'm finding it hard to be excited or hopeful at this stage, but I'm not giving up!

I'm thinking about you, get in touch whenever you want to talk or need some cheering up!

@zirafica Yes, thank you for kind words, I echo @Happibara when I say having someone in the know that you can talk to is fantastic and not something I knew I needed until I got my first message back, some days it os what has kept me sane in all honesty! @Happibara, like you say, no one not in the know has any idea, and you really do find yourself softening what you want to say, truly feel or believe, and even then I have still found most (not all but most) say things like, it’s obviously for the best it didn’t continue as there must have been something wrong or it will happen when the time is right or well you do have a child already, and I just want to grab the nearest heavy thing near me, raise it in the air and scream like a barbaric woman that’s about to go to war 😂.

since coming off the meds, I actually feel a lot better, my mood is a lot more stable for a start! But then I do also think that’s because I am not in that purgatory waiting for an am I aren’t I, those extreme highs and extreme lows, I feel more present, of course I’m still longing for what we want but I feel like I can breathe again and that’s a good thing. Physically, I hope not TMI, apologies! but everything has pretty much passed, the first day was very painful and was quite shocking actually (with what was passed if you know what I mean) but other than that it’s been fine. I hope you’ve been okay?

I am so glad that you have a plan! I am praying that it works out for you this time! We have decided to put a pause on IVF at least for a few months and if we do pursue it again I think it will be abroad, I’ve found what seems to be a very good clinic in Madrid called Clinic Tambre and also, if we do go down that route, maybe it would be good to have some info about the one that you’re at? For now (now don’t think I’m mad) but I have found a natural fertility specialist that is about an hour and a half away and she has some very good reviews, she does what she calls a 360 plan for couples that I believe looks at absolutely everything and claims that everything can be changed, egg quality, peoples AMB has gone up, speem quality has improved and people that have been told they have no change of conceiving naturally and a small chance with IVF have gone on to conceive naturally. She had her own first child at 44 following her own plan. She says by the end of the 12 week plan you will see things completely differently, feel different and believes that we will conceive naturally.. is it a load of old cods wollop (if that’s the phrase) maybe! But at this point I do think my partner and I need something to bring us closer again and to be healthier and in the moment etc etc. so I think it will be good for us regardless! We have our first session with her on Sunday so I will tell you all about it!

with regards to this failed round, we have a call with the doctor on Thursday morning, I really do think it will be a waste of time, they are likely to say ‘it’s just one of those things’ but I will let you know. They’re not very good and there have been a few things that have just made me feel like a number and that it feels more of a money making scheme than wanting what’s best for you as an individual. There is no individual plans, it’s very one size fits all.

overall, no definitely not giving up and I genuinely believe that we will both get what we want, it’s just a case of when, not if!

the natural fertility specialist is called mamabe and is based in Buckinghamshire in case you were curious! I know that’s way too far for you, but just in case you wanted to look at another avenue alongside IVF and see what it was all about.

i look forward to getting an update from you, look after yourself. Speak soon ☺️

Hi @Happibara,
was just thinking of you and wanted to say I hope you’re doing well!
how are things? really good I hope!

Hello @Curious4567 How are you? Hope you had a wonderful holiday season and didn't suffer too much through January 😀 (For me it feels like January was 102 days long, I'm SO glad it's over!)

How was your consultation with the natural fertility specialist? I was very curious to hear hear about her, and still wondering whether she has had a positive impact?

I've read quite a bit recently on the interactions between diet and fertility, and to be honest, I do regret that we have not given it more attention before our last own egg IVF attempt; we did eat healthy but probably could have made some swaps or added some foods that would have better nutrient content, especially where it comes to the microelements that affect fertility. I don't think it would completely change things, but every little helps, right?

And on the IVF front, did you decide to continue with another attempt? Not sure what stage you are in, so feel free not to reply if you're not ready to talk about this.

As you may remember, we decided to jump straight into another DE cycle. This time we went with 12 eggs. And again, it's been a rollercoaster of emotions: only 2 embryos reached blastocyst stage, one on day 6 and another on day 7(!), with estimated chance of success around 30% 😣.
I felt crushed, and we actually discussed just doing another round before sending the embryos for PGT-A. However, after considering things, we decided to go ahead and test, and both came back euploid. It was a huge relief, when we learned that at least there will be SOMETHING to transfer.

I've had a fully medicated cycle and the day 6 embryo was transferred on the 26th January. I'm 11dpt today and had positive tests since day 4 (I've tested the trigger out so started super early, 1 day before transfer in fact), and then 2 bHCG results, with good doubling rate. 🤞

I don't feel I'm out of the woods yet, in fact I am terrified, since I'm now very close to the stage when I miscarried last time. I know each pregnancy is different, but the fear is definitely there.

In other news, I'm really struggling with availability of medication; the clinic has put me on 2 types of progesterone (tablets and pessaries) and yesterday increased the dose so I will run out pretty soon. Now trying to either get them to issue a prescription that a UK pharmacy will recognise, or book flights to get to Poland and buy as much as I can 😅 I feel even more crazy than I expected, what a ride!

I've been thinking about you this winter, hope you and your family are well. 💖

Eeeek! Oh I am so pleased for you and keeping absolutely everything crossed!! How exciting!!
I'm currently laying next to my little one in bed as I’ve just put him to bed and I’m shattered!
that’s really good with the doubling rate! Don’t worry, I know how the craziness goes haha.
did you have one or two transferred?
Im pleased you felt ready to jump straight back in!

so,…. I’ll jump straight in.. im currently just over 8 weeks pregnant!! it still hasn’t sunk in at all, we’ve had a couple of scans and everything is looking really good, right size, location and strong heartbeat, I’m currently having weekly scans because.. well, you know the craziness!
so the how??.. i don’t know if all of this mattered or none of it mattered, I have no clue but this is what i did:
I used the Mira device to detect ovulation, it was very accurate and on day of ovulation (when I had LH surge) I tested twice to make sure it was accurate and obviously DTD. We were taking all of the supplements that the natural fertility specialist told us to take (which I’ll private message you them all if you want me to, they’re probably not secrets but I feel like I’m stealing her work if I put it all on here in the open) she was also doing reflexology on both myself and my other half. then I think it was about 6/7 days after ovulation I started taking progesterone 400 twice a day and i think from memory I started taking 150mg of aspirin from day after ovulation (I have to caveat this with none of this was prescribed or advised by a doctor) I just did loads of research and thought screw it, I’m going to try it with one cycle and what’s the worst that can happen… I’ve already been through the worst!
And then of course I tested early.. And sure enough there was a line.. a squinter but it was there, I couldn’t believe it!

This time round, the line got darker and darker and I got 3+ the day before 5 weeks, so I didn’t get the betas done this time, I won’t lie though those first days were hell.. I bled, sometimes it felt a lot and sometimes was red, it was scary, I was told I had a subchorionic hematoma, which explained it at my first scan (it’s shrunk to half the size now) I also had this with my toddler and bled right up until 13 weeks. Although my bleeding this time stopped about a week ago which is reassuring.
im literally counting down the days to get to 13 weeks and then i think ill be able to breathe a little more!

With regards to diet, don’t be hard on yourself, I didn’t have the best diet, it was just everything in moderation, the only thing our natural fertility specialist said was try not to eat too much soy produce and eat more alkaline foods.. however she always says if you want the cake, eat the cake and don’t feel bad about it, NO GUILT, just positivity, be thankful that you enjoyed the cake! so as long as you’re on the healthier side and everything in moderation, I think you’re just fine!

Are you taking aspirin? I’m not saying that this is the reason I’m now 8 weeks but there could be a chance! I’m actually quite annoyed as I specifically asked the consultant if I could have aspirin with my last round of IVF and he said he didn’t think there was any need. I’ve since learned that there is no harm in taking it and a big chance that it can have a positive impact so maybe speak to your consultant about it if you aren’t already?

anyway, I’m so so pleased that you are this far along and I am praying that this is the one!! Keeping everything crossed and can’t wait for the update!
I hope your family is all well too?
thinking of you! 🥰

@Curious4567 That's so brilliant! I have no words, you're truly a magical unique unicorn, the story every poor IVF warrior secretly dreams about 😍I'm so happy for you.

It seems the natural fertility advice really has made the difference too, so that's extremely interesting.
I don't think it would make as much of a difference in our case as age is a huge limiting factor. I do think we could get more eggs and better quality, but hey would still be >80% abnormal, so I would not pursue this.
However I think it may be a good idea that you post about it separately in the infertility forum, to tell the story... just in case it provides inspiration for other younger ladies! This one may have too limited a readership. What do you think?

I fully understand that you're upset and apprehensive about the bleeding, that's always super scary. But knowing it was similar in an earlier successful pregnancy must be reassuring. Hopefully it just resolves in time!

What is your due date? Sometime in September, right? What scans have you booked since getting your positive test? And have you registered with the midwife team yet?

I'm not taking aspirin at the moment, just large doses of progesterone and some estradiol, as per clinic advice. It seems I'll see them next week, for a 5 weeks scan, just to have an opportunity to buy more meds, so I'll ask about it then. I suppose it can't hurt 😅

Currently I'm really confused, at the same time I can't believe the beta will continue to rise, one the other hand the values and doubling rate are stronger than last time so now I'm anxious about potential molar pregnancy at the same time. You can't win on this emotional rollercoaster. I seriously don't know what news could reassure me, each positive update just leads to more anxiety and stress in hardly any time 😓Just keep swimming.

Do let me know what's coming up next for you, I'll be very interested in getting updates!

Have you told your families and your little one yet? If not, when are you planning to?

Wishing you a healthy and stress-free pregnancy, with this near-miracle and after all the past disappointments you just need a break ❤️‍🩹

Hey @Happibara so I had another scan yesterday and all is looking good, strong heartbeat and their little limbs are starting to grow and wiggle! It honestly hasn’t sunk in yet so I can’t say there is true excitement yet, it’s just surreal!
yep, we were told that there was no chance of natural conception my AMH was low for my age and my partners sperm motility was too poor to fertilise the egg too, but here we are! The world works in mysterious ways!
my due date currently is the 15th September. Next week we will do the NIPT to test for abnormalities and we will also find out the sex!

How is yours going? Are you still having betas? How are they going? It’s great news that they are more than doubling! I was always under the impression that with a molar, the numbers are crazy high? I also think they are incredibly rare with IVF, so I wouldn’t worry about that, although I know it’s hard not to worry about absolutely everything at this stage!
can wait for the update!

Hello @Curious4567. That's wonderful, so glad your scan was reassuring! 💖
I completely understand if you're feeling a bit surreal still... but guess it's just one of these statistically improbable things, that still do happen! 😂 And also, I'm not discounting the work you've done with the natural fertility specialist, it might have tipped the balance for you!

How do you feel in the lead up to your appointments, are you able to be a little bit more relaxed, now that you've moved through a few of the milestones?
Mid-september due date sounds lovely as the birthday for the baby 🍂🍁 Did you see your midwife yet? And if yes, did she indicate that you would be getting any extra attention or consultant appointments?

When you go for the NIPT next week, will you opt fot the scan & blood draw option? Or just the blood draw? Should I get to this stage, I'll definitely go for the scan as part of the package! Also, which NIPT test did you choose? Any guesses as to sex before the big reveal? Would you, or your OH have a preference?

All OK with me, not going for repeat beta testing beyond what the clinic asked me to do. This time my home test progression was OK, so I've persuaded myself to just stay away from the blood draws... 😅 it's very hard as I crave reassurance so badly. But trying to persuade myself that it would only scratch the itch for a moment, and half an hour after getting the results I'd be wondering if it has not started to drop since 😬.

I will have blood tests for hormone levels and a scan this Friday, as part of the visit to the clinic to get prescriptions for the silly amount of progesterone they asked me to take 🙃. I think it's the earliest possible that something can be seen on ultrasound, so trying not to get my hopes up too high. Then, if Friday goes well, I'll have another one on the 23rd where there should be visible heartbeat.

What are your plans for sharing the good news? Are you giving yourself a date when you'll feel it's "safe" to announce?

Keeping my fingers crossed your little wriggly gummy bear keeps growing strong and healthy! Keep the updates coming 🤞🤞🤞

Good morning! I hope you are okay?
how did your scan and tests go on Friday? Was it all okay?
I am still nervous, it’s been a week since my last scan and the anxiety is starting to set in! I don’t have my next scan until Friday, when I’ll have the NIPT too. Another 5 days feels like a lifetime! I’m fighting booking in for a scan today! Although I don’t see why there would be anything wrong, like you say I have passed some big milestones and I’m taking the medication that I’m supposed to be taking.
I cannot wait to stop taking the progesterone, I have piled on the weight! When I say piled, I mean a stone, A WHOLE STONE, I’m praying it balances out and once I stop the progesterone, I either lose a bit of water weight or I just stop gaining, I know in the grand scheme of things, it’s not a huge thing and I will lose it but still.. eek!!
I have absolutely no idea what sex they will be! I have totally different symptoms to when I was pregnant with my boy but then they say every pregnancy is different!

i have told close family but I haven’t told friends yet, last time I didn’t tell some people until I was about 20 weeks! 😂 there is absolutely no way I can’t talk people for that long as I am already huge! I think as soon as I get the results from the NIPT I will feel comfortable telling more people! Not long now, but the time is going so slow. Although the weekend flew by as it was my little one’s second birthday, he had a great time, which was lovely and stopped me from thinking about it all!
now I’m catching up on all of the boring things, cleaning, cooking and ironing and I have too much time for thought! Haha.
anyway, look forward to hearing about how Friday went! 🥰

@Happibara Just wanted to say I’m thinking of you! Hope you’re okay and everything is well 🥰

Hello @Curious4567 , how are you? Any updates from the NIPT yet, or is it too early to hope for results? And how are you feeling in yourself, are your pregnancy symptoms developing? I hope you're feeling well 💖.

Also, in what way are they different to what you experienced being pregnant with your son? It's very exciting, to think that the difference may mean it's a girl this time 🤩

I'm in this weird limbo where I'm getting a brief reassurance after each appointment or scan, and then the anxiety just creeps back in.
Had a scan at 5 weeks (on Friday 13th), which was OK. Then the following Friday had a scare where I started bleeding . The EPU couldn't see me until following Monday earliest, so I decided to take a chance and fly to Poland for my already scheduled 6 week scan and consultation.

To my relief the scan was OK, with a heartbeat seen. ❤️‍🩹 The consultant did find a hematoma which accounted for a source of the bleeding, but was also judged as non-threatening.
The clinic asked me to book another scan and progesterone blood test in the UK, at 8 weeks. I did that and are now counting days to next Friday. Physically I'm okay, hardly any symptoms, not bleeding and only spotting occasionally. Mentally though, I'm feeling worse every day 🙈. I am just second-guessing every twinge and battling negative thoughts all day.

I hope this aspect of early weeks is at least getting better for you, now that you're closer to the end of the 1st trimester? Have you been able to relax a bit more, or still experiencing anxious thoughts?

I feel for you struggling with weight gain, and experiencing the same. Throughout the whole IVF and DE process I had just gained steadily, just up a few pounds at every stage, and not been able to bring it back down before the following step; so my weight just gradually of spiralled up. I went from mid-normal BMI to overweight in the 14 months since we begun. Ironically I'm really looking forward to being able to wear pregnancy clothes, as everything I won just doesn't fit well or isn't comfortable (I didn't want to spend a lot replacing clothes, just kept hoping the weight gain is "temporary" like everybody promised). To be honest I don't expect to shift any of the weight anymore, at least not until after the birth.

What timescale are you looking at when it comes to stopping the progesterone?

I have actually been asked to start weaning off medication since last week (when I was 6 weeks) and I'm doing that, but feeling rather doubtful... it feels really early to do this!
My Oestradiol pills will be all done by 8 weeks, and progesterone is on a stage-managed weaning schedule, and I think may be done by week 9 😳.
Granted, I've been on quite a high dose of progesterone (confirmed with blood test results) so probably the reduced amount I'm on now is still within typical supplementation limits... but from tomorrow I am supposed to discontinue the oral tablets entirely, ands keep only the pessaries, and will be reducing their dose further, after next week.
I'd feel safter staying on them longer, but on the other hand there are studies showing there may be disadvantages to longer use, especially for male embryos (which ours is). So I am trying to push away the doubts and just follow the consultant's plan.

What are the next steps for you? It can't be long now to your NHS appointments now, have you got the dates and are you looking forward to them?

On a related note, how are you planning to break the news to your little boy? I could definitely use some advice on how to prepare mine for a little brother, will have to read up on that as I don't expect this will be easy for him.

Let me know how the announcements go, once you have the NIPT results - I hope sharing the joy with your loved ones is everything you hoped for! (And also, that knowing what's up, they'll volunteer tons of help!).

Keep safe!

good morning @Happibara,
I am so so pleased to hear your positive news! So you must now be 7 weeks? That is amazing! And so lovely to hear that it will be a boy!
we had the results of the NIPT yesterday and it was all good news, everything was very low risk and where you’d want it to be! And we also found out that we will have a girl! Shocked is an understatement, I don’t know why but I really thought we would have a boy however, my symptoms this time have been very different, I’ve had a lot of nausea, funny head pain, I have not gone off of coffee and have gone off of meat, the complete opposite of when I was pregnant with my son. It could just be that it is a different pregnancy or it could be that it’s different gender, who knows! We are all very happy though.
I have my NHS 12 week scan on Wednesday and I will be glad to get to 13 weeks! I do feel a lot calmer and I have done as the weeks have gone on since 7 weeks. I think after this one, I may perhaps have one at 16 weeks, then the NHS one at 20 and then I will stop!

i understand why you are nervous about weaning off of the medication, I am still taking the progesterone and will be until 16 weeks, but then the placenta will have fully taken over, for me, I believe my body doesn’t produce enough progesterone on its own and has been an issue in the past, so they believe waiting until then will benefit me. I don’t know much about oestrogen and pregnancy, I know it rises but I don’t think they measure it, even in private clinics after a positive test. You could ask to stay on longer with progesterone, considering your bleeding maybe? However I am sure the clinic knows what they are doing and it must wok for their other patients? I think I would feel nervous whatever was suggested, and will do when it gets to 16 weeks!

I too had a hematoma, I bled until 8 weeks, and then had another bleed at 10 weeks which was a real scare, but everything was fine! I also had the same with my son and bled consistently until 13 weeks! I’m glad that you are okay though and the reason has been found!

I really have no idea how my little one will understand, I have asked him if he wants a baby, he says yes and he always asks for his baby (a doll that we originally bought for my dog to get used to having a baby before he arrived 😂) he has just turned 2 on Valentine’s Day so still quite young to understand, I’m hoping by the time the baby comes, he will understand more especially as the bump gets bigger. I do also have an app that shows the baby’s size and looks like a real baby, so I show him that quite often and say that’s in my tummy, he probably has no clue but he likes looking at the baby on the screen! How about you? Does yours understand yet? What will you do?

with regards to a new baby coming along, I plan to let him go at his own speed and never prioritise baby over him unless essential and with explanation, to keep as much of his routine as possible, to start I will have my other half take him to his classes and then I will come along as soon as I am able. I will make a point of showing my son that he is important and loved and we’ll have one on one time too. This is in an ideal world of course, I think it will be fine as long as they don’t feel pushed out!
ah I’m really pleased that this is going as I first believed it would! I really look forward to hearing your updates.
look after yourself, speak soon! 💕

@Happibara hwy! Don’t feel you have to message back at all, but just wanted to say I’m thinking of you and pray everything is going really well for you and your family 🥰

Hello @Curious4567 Thank you for your message, it's good to hear from you! Any updates? Hopefully you and your little girl are both healthy and happy! 💖 It's very interesting how different your symptoms are compared to the first pregnancy, have they started to disappear yet? Or are you still feeling them?

How was your NHS midwife appointment and dating scan? You must feel very relieved being in the second trimester!

I'm past 9 weeks now, thinking of booking NIPT test with a scan for the week commencing 23rd March. Which test method did you choose? I am actually limited in options due to a egg donor pregnancy, so still trying to make up my mind.

Also, my NHS appointments are finally booked. It was actually surprisingly hard to get them, the local maternity services (Lothian) first told me not to bother them until the clinic officially discharges me with a due date, and then, after I did exactly what they asked, blithely announced that there's no availability and basically told me off for registering so late 😅 I had to bite my tongue so hard while in the call, that made me really cross!

But luckily they must have managed to squeeze me in, midwife for next week, and scan for the day I will be 12 weeks exactly.

The clinic is officially done with me, gave me medication weaning plan and I should be completely off the meds in about 10 days. I've actually read some studies about progesterone and possible adverse effects on male foetuses, and after that I feel much more confident about giving them up 😌.

I'm a bit confused about the symptoms. Compared to my memory of when I was carrying my son they seem much milder (moderate nausea, a bit more tired, where back then there we're days I was almost out of it feeling sick and sleepy). But my food preferences did change and I'm actually having cravings, which is new 😄 It just shows every pregnancy is different, looking forward to seeing if they change again once I'm off the meds.

We did tell our little one that we were trying for a sibling for him, way back when going through transfers; to explain all the travel and doctors appointments. We haven't told him it's actually happening, but I think it's percolating in his mind. Occasionally he makes a little comment about the baby brother in my belly or newborns and what they do 🥹 So I hope it will be easy to get him o take in the news.

However, I expect that having the baby arrive will be something else entirely! We anticipate serious resistance 😨 I'm just hoping the new baby is less of a high need than him, he had been completely unputdownable for 18 months, so if his brother has similar temperament then the first months are likely to be hard on us all.

We are planning to do a lot of work as a family, to give him tools to ask for attention and support, and to accept it from people who aren't me 🤣 Is your son still very attached to you, or more comfortable with care and help from dad and other family members?

How's your nesting drive? Kicked in yet? Are you shopping and redecorating, or making do with most of the gear you've completed for the firstborn?

I'm slowly starting to think that this is something I'll actually get to consider... didn't let myself get too excited before 🙃 Although even now, I'm planning to buy as little as possible. Still happy with the baby stuff we bought, and have mountains of clothes waiting. Probably easier to be chilled because we're having another boy - I bet there would be no stopping me shopping for cute outfits for a girl 🤩

Anyway, let me know how life is ☺️ Take care and keep safe!

@Happibara good morning! I’m so pleased that things are going really well for you! We are doing really well! Most symptoms have gone now, rarely I might have a short wave of sickness but barely at all now.
Ive had my first midwife appt which feels like ages ago! I think it was at 8 weeks? Is that right? I’ve forgotten already! Haha but it feels like ages ago. I had my 12 week dating scan and was measuring ahead so my due date is now the 10th of September. I’m happy with a September due date, it works out well for her being one of the oldest in the year.
doe the NIPT I did the blood test with the micro deletions included, I have zero history in my family and as far as I’m aware neither does my other half but I knew it would have been on my mind if I hadn’t had the most informative one done, so thought it was worth it!
what are your options with it?
it’s great news that you’ve been discharged and have your appointments, that’s really exciting! It’s also great that you’re nearing 12 weeks! Are you finding that you can breathe a bit more now? I’m officially in the second trimester which is a relief, and I’m really positive about it although I do have the odd moment where I have a little wobble but they’re becoming less and less now which is good.
I come off of my medication in a couple of weeks which on the one hand I am really excited for as I am sure it makes me feel exhausted, extremely bloated and gives me terrible water retention, but on the other hand I’m nervous, for obvious reasons, although im
sure it will be fine!
my son was the same, I had to hold him all
the time and carry him around, he would only sleep on me, which was lovely, but a lot, we’ll see what this one is like! But I’m sure it will all figure itself out! I just think people have been doing this for thousands of years.. sooo where there’s a will, there’s a way! Haha
my little one is still very attached to me for all
of the emotional things, or when he’s tired or ill for example, but if he’s in a good mood, he’ll be happy enough to go off with his dad, or my mum or my sister, so I do get time to myself when I really need it (although this isn’t often as my mum isn’t very.. hands on, my other half works in London and is 2 hours travel each way, and my sister has her own children and life etc)
my nesting drive has definitely kicked in which is driving me insane as we are currently in between houses! I sold my house last October and our new one that we bought together is currently having major renovations! Originally we were supposed to be moving in for march, then it was delayed to may and now I think it’s going to be even later!! It’s really stressful and I wish the weather would just sort itself out so the builders could get on, it’s rained nearly every day for what feels like months! I just have to keep reminding myself that it will be worth it in the long run!
all I want to do is start looking for furniture and colours for decorating! I’m really excited for that!
I have lots of clothes already from my little one, I bought a lot of neutral, nothing had dinosaurs or tractors or anything, so we’ll be good for a lot of things however, I definitely will be buying some really cute girly things too! but not too many as they grow so quickly and first time round there were outfits that he only wore once or twice!
another annoying thing though is all of our stuff is in storage so I have no idea exactly what there is as I can’t remember! It’s going to be a big rush at the end I think!
Anyway, I guess it’s all part of the excitement!
lwt me know how your 12 week scan goes! I’m so so pleased for you, it’s all such great news!! Eeeeek 🥰

Hello @Curious4567

How are you, hope you are preparing for a lovely family time this Easter weekend! 💖

I can't believe how much you have going on in your life, house renovations and move, pregnancy and taking care of your little one! it must be seriously draining🥹, I hope everything will fall in place and you'll be able to move as scheduled before you feel too heavy and tired.

Don't want to sound too negative but personally I hate moving house like nothing else, I'd imagine I'd feel very sorry for myself in your shoes!🤣 But there's silver lining, if you enjoy decorating then I hope you'll have a blast!

How are you feeling now? Is the second trimester treating you kindly? And are you feeling more positive, or still waiting for scans with anxiety?

We've had the dating scan and NIPT results, all good with the little one looking as happy as can be. Must say it didn't help much for my anxiety, which makes me think it may just persist until birth (awful thought, eek!). But at least there are some solid positives to hold on to now.❤️‍🩹

Also all too ready to leave the first trimester behind, I was never really sick but queasy and tired a lot, and also had like 3 colds or viral infections back to back... feeling I just need a break now and hoping spring will be easier!

I'm thinking about you and family, hope all is well. Let me know how you are!

Good morning! Sorry it has taken me so long to reply! Everything has been so so busy, the renovation has been full on and taking forever and my little one has hit that age where he’s pushing for independence but is also a little clingy, as though it’s confusing for him almost.. he’s also been ill with flu and the cough is still lingering so it could just be that I suppose!

anyway, how are you? How is everything?! I cannot believe I am 22 weeks! Even now with a huge bump, it feels so surreal! we had our 20 week scan and everything was absolutely fine. There were a few seconds where we were holding our breath, the sonographer was using a new AI machine for the first time alongside the machine trainer from Samsung, she was struggling to find something and had to get a consultant in, I felt sick! But he was really lovely, very quick and said, yep, it’s all there, perfect! Thank god. Have you had your scan yet or is it due?

I am still tired but I think that’s mostly because I’m doing pregnancy with a toddler in tow haha. Early nights are a must! How are you finding it? I am so so grateful to be pregnant but honestly, I’ve not enjoyed it like with my last one, I do think the heightened anxiety hasn’t helped either though!

also, time seems to passing very quickly, which on the one hand is great but it’s making it a little scary thing we’ll have a matter of a few weeks in an empty undecorated house before baby arrives! Eeek, nesting mode is having to go on pause and it is really tough to fight all the natural instincts! Haha. Have you done anything yet?

I really hope everything is going swimmingly for you and your family! Can’t wait to hear.
thinking of you!!