Azoospermia - Donor Route Support

[Blue234]

Hi everyone!

This thread is dedicated to those of us navigating the azo journey and considering or have chosen the donor route.

I thought it would be great if we could share our experiences, offer support, and help each other through this challenging path.

Looking forward to hearing your stories and supporting one another along the way.

I am happy to start this thread by sharing our story:
-After around 1 year TTC, we were diagnosed with unexplained non-obstructive azoospermia back in March 2024. We were given 30% chances of finding sperm with MTESE but my partner decided he wanted to try all we could before moving to option B.
-We had MTESE done via NHS in August 2024 and unfortunately it was unsuccessful. We had lots of discussion before the surgery and we had agreed that we would good via donor route if the surgery wasn't successful.
-We have now been referred for a NHS funded IVF cycle using sperm donor (funded by us) and currently waiting for the clinic to call us to have implications counselling.
-In the meantime, we are currently in parallel the process of finding a suitable donor.

I’m feeling a mix of emotions right now. On one hand, I’m happy and excited that we still have a chance to become parents and the idea of a future baby brings me so much joy. But on the other hand, there’s still a lingering sadness about what we’re going through, especially when I think about what my partner is facing.

Even though I know it’s not all about genetics, who hasn’t dreamed of having a baby that looks like their partner or a blend of both of us? While I believe I’ve mostly come to terms with this, a part of me still feels a bit heartbroken.

Choosing a donor is challenging. We try not to overthink it and even find moments to joke around while browsing profiles, but there’s so much to consider. One thing that particularly worries me is the possibility of our child wanting to contact the donor when they’re an adult. What if the donor isn’t kind to them? I know this is something far off in the future and out of our control, but it’s been on my mind lately.

Sorry for my long message, I will stop now! But just thought of sharing some of my thoughts to start with!

Looking forward to hear your stories!

@Magix86 @StarJasmine93 looping you into this new thread :)

Hey everyone! How are we all doing? I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas.@Blue234 how's treatment going?

I'm really struggling with my anxiety these past couple days. Now the hype of Christmas is past, it's all that I can think about. I have anxieties about it not working mostly.

Does anyone have any tips on how they cope with their anxieties?

Hey @StarJasmine93 ! Hope you had a great Christmas too! Sorry to hear about your anxiety. I am managing well so far since I started the injection, but was also feeling quite anxious before starting. All what I have been doing is to try to stay busy so I dont think too much on what we are going through and also I practice a bit of yoga and I think it helps too. Have you tried acupuncture? I only have done one session so far just to try so I cant comment much on it, but I believe @Magix86has been doing it regularly and maybe can advise.

In terms of update from my side, I had my first scan this week and they confirmed that downregulation was achieved, so now we moved to stimulation (5th day today). If everything goes well (fingers crossed) the egg retrieval will be during w/c 6th January. Side effects wise since we started ovaleap, I am only having headaches on and off. But honestly so far, sometimes I even forget I am on injections :)

Merry Christmas ladies 🥰

Ah @Blue234 sounds like you’re smashing it well done! It’s all coming together 💖

Sorry to hear about your anxiety @StarJasmine93, I can definitely resonate. Is the main element it not working? Or are there any other factors? Could you start writing it down, so you have a list of what if it did work?

I was so positive for the cycle before Christmas and that being taken away has rattled me. I’m also worried it won’t work, or my follicles not getting mature last cycle is a sign of a problem with me. I need to get back into gear with eating well etc. but I’m angry and sad with it. I know I’m catastrophising, and I need a reset for sure.

Hi all. Sorry to hear about these anxieties @Disco24 and @StarJasmine93
I'm not sure it really helps but I've been a ball of anxiety the entire time 😅 I'm not sure it's ever stopped for me! Although it does help concentrating on one step at a time, rather than the whole bigger picture. I did acupuncture regularly for several months. It definitely helped me relax and did make me feel good, although it's difficult not being able to know if it helped with the fertility/ivf at all. In all honesty I'm not sure I'll do it again if we have another round. I think things like mindfulness and yoga can be really good! As well as writing things down.
I find myself scrolling through various threads on here just to read other people's experiences of my own worries, but that can both help and cause more worry!
I think probably the biggest thing is just to be kind to yourself and to trust in your clinic that their plan for you is the best thing.

@Blue234 amazing news, your egg collection will be so soon! Glad the injections are going well 😊

Thanks for all your words of wisdom ladies!! ❤️.

@Blue234 so in awe of how you are taking it all in your stride. Absolutely smashing it!!

@Magix86 how are you feeling? Any symptoms yet?

@Disco24 sorry to hear you have some anxiety too. Yeah I think I'm just anxious about it all... What if I don't react well to the injections, what about if I don't get any/many eggs, what if none fertilise, what if the transfer fails etc. etc.

Trying to be kind to myself. Husband and I have taken the dog down to the south coast for a few days to take in the new year now all the family have left ours from all the Christmas celebrations so defo trying to keep busy and distracted.

Think I'll defo take on yoga and mindfulness things when I'm back from my little break. 🥰

@StarJasmine93 the break in itself will probably be good for you! Enjoy your time away ❤️
Honestly, I had all the same questions and worries! Every step was another success, so once we knew I was responding to the stims, then we knew I'd had eggs collected, then the fertilisation news. I think every hurdle you get past really helps. Also trying to remember I couldn't really control any of that either, so tried to reassure myself that as long as I'm doing everything the clinic say (meds timings etc) then I'm doing my best and have to trust in the process. Can you have any counselling with your clinic? That also helped us, although we only had the one implications counselling session, but we are able to have more if needed. I think all your worries are completely understandable tho.

I'm feeling ok, thank you for asking. No really noticeable symptoms but my boobs are sore (they were even before my transfer tho due to meds 🙃) and a few cramps here and there! I also feel quite tired every day, but could also be the lack of caffeine lol. Just trying to stay sane until our scan on 8th when hopefully I can relax a little x

@Disco24 @Magix86 @StarJasmine93 thanks a lot ladies!
Tbh I think I am still on the "easy" phase and definately also your "what if"s resonate with me... I dont think I will cope that well after egg retrieval and also will depend a lot of what they tell me on my next scans this week...

As @Magix86 said, I also think it helps to try to focus on one step at a time. But obviously the theory sounds amazing, practice is a different matter😂

We should all be proud of ourselves as we are going through something massive, being brave and hopefully eventually we will get there🫶🤗

@Magix86 glad to heard you are feeling well! Please keep us posted🤗🤗

@Blue234

@StarJasmine93 I think our anxieties are to be expected given the circumstances, sometimes their voice is small and other times it’s bigger. But what @Magix86 is saying does resonate, that you have to trust in the clinic (I’m not great at that in any walk of life 😂) but that’s something I can try to do. I’m starting acupuncture again in two weeks so that will hopefully help too.

@Blue234 the practice is very different you’re right 😂, but thank you for reminding us how far we’ve all come this year 💖 keep us updated with your next appointment.

Glad you’re having a lovely break @StarJasmine93, very good idea to get away. To a certain extent we are already going down the river and we’re doing our best, we can only control what we can control xx

Hi ladies! Happy New Year! Hope 2025 brings us all what we wish for :) How are you all?

Just wanted to let you know that on Monday I will have my egg collection. So far it seems I have reacted well to medication despite my poor amh...and they seem to be happy with the number of follicles growing. I still have my reservations though until I see that we get any eggs from the procedure. I have really been trying to stay away from reading online as much as I could, as in the past I read somewhere low amh + high follicle count might mean low quality, and it worries me :( (even if i know I should be happy that the nurse told me my follicle count was quite good).

I have been quite calm until this point but starting to get a bit nervous and trying to push away any "what if"s from my mind at the moment...

@StarJasmine93 I believe you were starting yesterday your injections! How are you feeling?

Happy new year to you too @Blue234 and to all of you other amazing ladies!!

Hoping 2025 is our year 💪.

Exciting your collection is on Monday!! Not long to wait now. You've done so well to stay calm throughout the injections so keep channelling that. If the nurse is positive then that's excellent 👌. Keeping everything crossed for you.

Yes I'm on day 2 of down regs now thanks for asking. I'm feeling great... So happy to have started 🥰. Nurse did my first one and hubby did the one today so I haven't had a go yet. Will try tomorrow I think. It's not as bad as I thought it would be. Hoping I don't get too many side effects!

@StarJasmine93 thank a lot! Glad to hear you coping well and that you also found it better than expected (I experienced the same!). I guess is normal to be "scared" of the unknown!
Fingers crossed that you dont get many side effects!🙏🤞

Happy new yearrr! Wishing you all a positive 2025 ❤️✨

Yes @Blue234 so great to hear the nurses are positive, as @StarJasmine93 says that’s the best we can go on. I think we’ve become conditioned to bad news and waiting, but there’s got to be some positivity around too, so make sure you (me too) remember that!

On New Year’s Day I actually blocked a few terms from Instagram as I felt it was having more harm that good with all the information. It’s so contradictory, and every human is unique it’s hard to know what to take as factual. All you can do is the best for you, and it sounds like you’re smashing it.

@Blue234 you too, especially with those injections! Bring it on 💪💖

I’m still in my cycle break after my Clomid cycle, but had a positive OPK CD12, peak CD13 so looks like I’m back to normal. Now we just wait to come on, and I’m back in the mix! Hoping to be less highly strung this time xx

Happy new year ladies! 🎉 I have all my hopes that 2025 is the year for all of us ❤️
@Blue234 that's amazing you have your egg collection booked in! Did they say how many follicles you have growing? I was obsessed by the numbers lol and kept googling so many things. I'd really recommend staying away from that if you can although it's easier said than done 😅 your clinic will know the right timings and the right numbers so trust what they are saying. Do let us know how you get on and will be thinking of you on Monday!

@StarJasmine93 really happy to hear you're on the injections now too...it won't be long! I found them fine after the first one, it's just getting the hang of it really.

@Disco24 that's also really good news. I do love all the updates on this chat 💕 I think it's so hard with all social media and everything that pops up, so good for you for managing that and blocking some of it!

I have a meeting with the Midwife tomorrow just for booking in - bloods and urine test. Then our first scan is next Wednesday when I'll be 7 weeks. I'm terrified of going and not having good news but trying to remind myself that what will be will be and nothing I do now can influence it. Trying to stay strong at this point.

@Disco24 thanks a lot for your message! you did well blocking some content! I havent thought about it before but should consider doing the same! As you said, everyone is different and we all tend to think on the worst case scenario, in most cases for no reason really... Great news that you are back to normal so hopefully you will be able to start again very soon. Keeping fingers crossed for you🤞🙏

@Magix86 keeping fingers crossed for your next appointment! Everything will be all right :) 🤗 but you are very right, its good to remind ourselves we are doing all what is in our hands!

Re- number of follicles, this morning they counted 12 on the right ovary and 25 on the left ovary. But obviously, not all of the same size and some of them might be too small. My biggest follicles this morning were 18mm and I had 2 like that. The nurse told me normally doctors like to see at least 3 follicles over 18mm before scheduling egg colletion, but it would be really up to the doctor's decision. So in the end the doctor decided that i should have meds 2 more days and will trigger tomorrow evening. But they didnt give me any estimations on how many we could get, they just said we have a good chance to get a good number but you never know until eggs are collected.
I didnt manage to count how many follicles were just close to 18mm this morning while the nurse was updating me but I would say a good count! So keeping my fingers crossed more folicles get there by Monday🤞

Wow! Such good numbers @Blue234 👏
I was told the same I think - that they like to trigger once 3 are over 18mm. With a couple more days of stims there's a good chance some of the smaller ones will catch up too.
You've all put a smile on my face this evening. Really happy to hear all the positive updates xx

Wowwww @Blue234 that sounds fab! I didn’t even have one at 18 after 5 days of Clomid so all sounds positive 🥳

@Magix86 good luck at your midwife appointment! Sending all the positive vibes 💖

@Disco24 thank you! Hopefully it is! But also they put me on the highest stims dose possible. I am sure you treatment is completely different to mine!

That all sounds good @Blue234!! Really pleased that it's looking positive for you. With my low AMH, I've been quite anxious about the egg count but trying not to think about it yet as I'm not at that stage right now. Will be thinking of you on Monday 😊.

@Disco24 fantastic news that you are having a normal cycle after the drugs etc. I bet that's a big weight lifted off your shoulders.

@Magix86 so exciting you are making appointments with your midwife. Will be thinking of you next Wednesday and hoping for positive news. As the others have said, you've done everything within your control now. ❤️❤️❤️

Hey Ladies! Just done with my embryo collection. We got 27 eggs collected. Again should be happy about the quantity but worried about quality. Plus they have already told me that most likely they will freeze all embryos if any as I am at risk of OHSS and they might not want to proceed with a fresh transfer.
So a bit of misfeelings at the moment. All what I read online on such high count of eggs is not very good :(
Lets see the update tomorrow on number of mature and fertilised eggs

Hey @Blue234 have been thinking about you all morning.

Wow!!! That's insane levels!! 27?!

I really feel for you having mixed emotions with the potential of freeze all and egg quality. Do you mind me asking what your AMH level is again and what dosage of stims they had you on? What was your stimulation drug?

I've not heard about high egg collection equalling poor quality. I know that the numbers can reduce due to fertilisation and quality but hopefully with you starting on such a high number, there's a good chance of you having a decent amount fertilising and good for transfer/freezing.

This process is such an emotional rollercoaster. Sending you positive vibes and hugs!!

Keep us posted. Lots of love xxx

@StarJasmine93 thanks for your message!🤗🤗

My AMH was 8.4 pmol/L back in September (probably less now as it went from 14 in January to 8.4 in september🤦) My medication for downregulation was 0.5 ml of buserelin during around 2 weeks. Then we started stims, they reduced buserelin to 0.25ml and added also ovaleap. I think they put me on the highest dose of ovaleap which 375 UI.

I guess they didnt want to risk that I had a poor response...but from the first scan I had lot of folicles and they seemed pleased/surprised about it

Also in my case AMH doesnt seem to correlate with the AFC (21 folicles). They have always told me my AFC was quite good but my AMH is on the lower end.

In any case I think I should stop trying to find answers I am not gonna find online and are just gonna make me worried. All I can do is to wait for tomorrow's update🤞

Congrats on the egg collection @Blue234 that's a fantastic amount of eggs!! Hopefully you won't get OHSS and you feel well. Take it easy the next few days. Sorry you're experiencing those mixed emotions. Completely understand the reason wanting to do a freeze all with those numbers tho - I've read that chances are better with a frozen transfer instead of fresh, especially when u get so many eggs.
I was also on ovaleap, but only on 150. Sounds like the higher dose really did encourage your follicles!
My advice would be stay away from Google, and spend time looking after yourself, you've been through a lot today. I had 16 eggs collected and ended up with 2 embryos so the odds are definitely in your favour. I'm proof that it really does only take one embryo! Sending all the positive vibes for your update tomorrow xx

Woohoo @Blue234 well done for getting through the procedure and getting those eggs out. Amazing number!

I’ve not seen anything about quality vs. Quantity either but you’re right, protect your brain and just know you’ve done absolutely all you can until this point. It’s such a head fuck of a process (excuse the language 😅), that requires patience but most of all for you to be kind to yourself.

As @Magix86 said earlier, they will do all they can to make it successful so we should trust in them that’s what they’re doing 💖

Pleaseee let us know when you hear something! Got everything crossed xx

@Magix86 @Disco24 thanks a lot for your kind words!😘🤗🤗

@Magix86 I also have read that frozen transfers might give a better chance of success, so I am not fully negative about it! We really want all the best to give us the best chance of being successful in one go (even it means waiting another 2 or 3 months)🤞 but me being me I had already done my calculations on when I would need to do the pregnancy test and even when the baby would be due🤦 I know i shouldn't do these things but I have🤦

Anyways the important thing at the moment is really to get at least 1 embryo🤞 Thats the first step.

Thank you again ladies🫶

@Blue234 do not apologise for doing the calculations! I do it to myself too, my Google is like ‘Calculate 40 weeks from X date’ I feel like it helps my brain but who knows 😂…