BFP after IVF - the journey continues (part 2)

[HopefulllHolly]

SENSITIVE CONTENT

Continuation of previous thread for anyone with a BFP following IVF to support with anxieties and other worries that come along with pregnancy after infertility.

@AnnieStar12
@DippyDuck19
@DogMummy87
@Edf
@Fluffyted
@Leaf86
@LouP87
@Natty2
@SETTC87
@ThePeachGoose
@jas1996
@lemonyfox
@oliviagrace2307
@summerchild92

Please tag anyone else I’ve missed accidentally!

@ThePeachGoose so lovely to hear from you! I'm so sorry you've been through the mill of it with headaches and pain 😢 how awful! Can't believe your physio just left! Fingers crossed your new one will be able to help you and work wonders! Oh wow you have a very busy week with NIPT test and scans! Keepint everything crossed for you. Totally get it opting for the NIPT with everything you've been through, so glad your trisomy test results came back low that's excellent news!! Do you have any final inklings on gender?

I'm much better than I was thank you I was so stressed because I of course consulted Dr Google before seeing my actual doctor and got myself into a tizz that if it wasn't a UTI then it's my retroverted uterus pushing against my bladder and causing all sorts of scary shit. Lesson learnt! Sickness is still here but I'm so used to it now, I will be 14 weeks pregnant on Wednesday I think with my DS I was still feeling sick up until 18 weeks but that sickness was a bloody breeze compared to this pregnancy lol I naively thought that finishing my cyclogest last week would have helped a bit but alas no. I just want to enjoy food again lol 😆 I'm stuck on the beige spectrum of food. My baby will end up with a salted Pringle addiction for sure... Oh you are good looking at exercise and yoga, I really wish I was feeling up to it yet but I just don't have the energy yet. I'm trying to do daily walks and wrangling my toddler feels like weight lifting lol but I'm a lot less activity that I used to be. Loved spin classes, home HIT workouts pre IVF. If you find any good YT workouts for pregnancy please let me know and I'm hoping to muster up the strength at some point during this second trimester.

@DippyDuck19 thanks lovely for your message! I am much better than I was! Ive mainly been resting and binge watching new tv series whilst my in laws very kindly looked after my DS. How are you doing post holiday? Hope you are doing good!

@oliviagrace2307 thank you for your lovely message! I actually have no inkling about gender, lots of people have asked me but my gut isn’t telling me anything specific. Do you have any inkling, or have you had it with your previous?

Oh so pleased that things are getting better and totally understand, I always jump to the worst conclusion, and then I have to bring myself back to “what’s the most obvious answer here?” Lol

Right, so almost 14! I knew you were really close to me but forgot that you were ahead. Sorry to hear that it’s taking a bit longer with the nausea, and also that it’s so rough. Have you been able to keep up with life, work, family, friends? Hopefully the end of the nausea is right around the corner for you 🤞🏻 also, you’ve made me crave Pringles! I haven’t thought about them in years lol

I promise I’ll link in here any good YT workouts I find!

Me again, sorry for taking over this thread in the past 12 hours 😅 I wanted to share that our NIPT came back as low in everything (<1 in 10,000) and that we will have a baby girl! I think that we have quite a few girls in this group now. My husband is absolutely melting at the idea of having a girl, he’s so adorable.

Hi everyone! Sorry been a bit quiet busy week!

@ThePeachGoose Awwww another little girl to join the crew! Congratulations! It’s really cute seeing your other half get all soppy at the thought of having a daddy’s girl. Mine can’t wait! And fabulous news on your NIPT results - it’s always a massive relief. I feel your pain with the headaches - I’m a migraine sufferer anyway and some days I wake up with the most horrific migraine for no real reason. I’ve found if I don’t drink much water in the evening it’s worse (been trying to limit it at night because of the pee breaks but I still drink 3-4 litres a day even with cutting down at night! 😵‍💫). Don’t have the bum pain but my lower back and hips are quite painful and seize up if I’m sat still or stood up too long. 😑 Starting physio led Pilates on Thursday so I’m hoping I’ll get some moves to limber myself up - I’ll report back!

@DippyDuck19 I definitely feel you with the lack of knowledge around basic stuff like how to look after them in the early days. I bought some useful books (I rate both the books by the modern midwife - I’ve bought 7 and they are the easiest to understand and read to me!)

@AnnieStar12 When’s your scan this week? I’ve been having really horrible shooting pains today and yesterday - they take my breath away - so I was debating to go get a scan but like you said, I don’t think I’d want to be in a private scanning place if something was wrong. Hopefully it’s either her moving and hitting a nerve or something or it’s just growing pains. Trying to stay calm about it but it’s hard when I can’t feel movement yet.

@summerchild92 Not too long until your scan - my birthday is the same day and I’m counting down to it (mainly as I’m off work that week and it can’t come soon enough because I really CBA with work atm!). I got NIPT because of my age (37) and higher risks but also because my friends had a dodgy nhs result and it caused loads of stress and given I’ve been so anxious it was just easier for it to be black and white early on for me. Plus my partner wanted to know the sex of the baby so it made sense in the round. If you’re young and have no reason to worry just get NHS and if they come back unsettling then you can have a NIPT - saves the pennies!

I’m ok this week aside from the shooting pains that are really painful and bad today. They are making me worried tbh! I did think maybe I felt a flutter last night too which was nice but I’m not sure it was or not. It was low down and felt like a little tapping on my insides. I wish I could feel regular movement as it would definitely help my anxiety! Debated this morning as to whether to book a quick private scan but I’ve managed to not do so far. 2 weeks until my 20 weeks now and if somethings wrong I’d rather be at a hospital than in a window to the womb. Hoping the pains are normal! 😔🥺

@HopefulllHolly thanks for the book recommendation. Will look into those.

Baby has a growth spurt between 16-19 weeks so the pains you have could just be everything stretching. Hopefully the little taps are the first of the movements. This is how mine started but they were soo infrequent. Hopefully they'll get more regular which will reassure you! Mine are now daily over the past week. Still not strong enough to feel outside but I know it's definitely baby!

I'm 19 weeks tomorrow and think baby is having a growth spurt. Have been really achy low down, my bump felt soo stretched yesterday, the tiredness has returned and I can't stop eating!!!

@ThePeachGoose soo glad your results come back low risk and another little girl ☺️🩷🩷🩷 congratulations!

@DippyDuck19 Ah that’s helpful thank you! Slightly reassured though the shooting pains really aren’t pleasant! I can always text my midwife if they get worse I guess. Would be lovely if the tapping was baby - was hard to know really as my heart is beating so strongly atm I can feel it everywhere so I was like…is that a baby or my heart 😅

I think we are currently 4 girls to 2 boys (and all the random stuff online says boys are more likely in ivf…pah!) 😂

@HopefulllHolly definitely if it gets worse contact your midwife! My belly had a pulse it's quite weird!

Boys are meant to be more likely with ICSI I read as they select the "stronger" sperm compare to normal IVF.

Ahh congratulations @ThePeachGoose on your test results and that you are having a little GIRL! Must be so lovely to know now! Now you can start thinking of names and all the girly stuff!! I'm itching for my gender scan now haha 😄 I don't have a particular inkling at all lol which Im surprised at, I was convinced my DS was a girl because I read into all the old wives tales! My husband's family absolutely breeds boys like wildfire so Im probably half anticipating that I am having another sweet boy! We also went through ICSI but interesting i read conflicting articles that ICSI can produce more girls but who knows?! I've already sorted through my stash of newborn clothes and pulled out the gender neutral stuff but I have so much boy clothes it's insane. If it's a boy happy days but if I'm having a girl they can all go to my SIL who is having a boy in late December.

Haha well I had ICSI so I hope NIPT isn’t wrong! I keep having dreams it turns out to be a boy (I’d love a boy or a girl but imagine all the little clothes me and my mum have bought going to waste lol!)

@oliviagrace2307 exactly, I like knowing early so that I can start planning ahead in my mind. Same for my husband. Lucky for us that it’s a girl I think as we had so many more name options for girls, whereas for boys we basically had nothing lol

You must be so much more relaxed with this being your second. You already know what you’ll need and also have a little starter wardrobe, regardless of the gender. Though I’m sure you won’t be able to resist buying some new clothes even if it’s a boy - baby clothes are so cute!

We had ICSI too and the NIPT says we’re going to have a girl @HopefulllHolly too by the looks of it. Since they’re looking at free DNA, I’m quite inclined to believe the NIPT, but it’s crazy how much these gender studies on ICSI seem to be contradicting each other!

Hi, how is everyone? Always feel like I'm trying to catch up so sorry if i've missed anyone!

@ThePeachGoose congrats on another girl in the group! 💕 we are going for a gender scan at 16 weeks. My gut feel is a boy but it's my first so I don't know what I'm feeling 😂😂
I've also enquired about getting booked on to our NCT course so hoping we get to meet new parents to be in our area too

Interesting about the ICSI theory @DippyDuck19. We had ICSI too, so will be interesting to see!

@HopefulllHolly sorry to hear about your shooting pains, hopefully just growing pains? How is your midwife at texting you back?
I'm really struggling getting anything out of mine so don't feel fully supported by them!
I'm also going to sign up for pregnancy Pilates tonight which starts in 2 weeks for 7 weeks. Hoping to start meeting more mums to be locally!

@oliviagrace2307 glad to hear you are doing much better! Sorry to hear the sickness is still about. I'm still struggling with nausea at times too and still completely off certain foods! I'm not sure if that will stick around all pregnancy

@jas1996 congrats on your 12 week scan! Hope the last week has been a less anxious one after reaching that milestone

I forgot to update last week that my screening tests all came back low risk so not going to proceed with the NIPT test and save that money for the baby now 🥰
My bloating also just didn't really go anywhere after I stopped the cyclogest last Sunday, I think I just have a really big bump already!🙈 I told colleagues last week and now haven't been hiding it, and they are all shocked that i managed to keep it hidden 😂

Thank you @Natty2 & congratulations to you too on passing your trisomy with flying colours and saving on that NIPT cost! It will surely be better used in NCT to meet new parents and hopefully your future fellow play date organisers 😁 lol on gender. People are pretty adamant that they can feel these things so maybe it is a boy! You’ll find out soon enough

I’m so creaky and weak these days that I had to ease myself into yoga with an easy workout before I can tackle anything more intense. If anyone else is in the same position, like @oliviagrace2307 I’ve done this today - and as the kids would say, it gave me life! It was easy but it was nice to feel that stretch in my muscles.

@Natty2 Amazing news about your screening results! Woohoo! Bet you’re relieved! So exciting the next big thing is the gender scan 😍 Ah I haven’t actually ever text my actual midwife yet but she said to text her whenever so I’m hopeful! I did text her boss before I met my actual one and she replied very quickly (was about the matb1 form as I wasn’t sure when I got it and haven’t had a risk assessment or anything from work yet!). I guess some midwives probably approach things in different ways - annoying that yours is less responsive though! Fingers crossed she’s more chatty the further along you get.

@HopefulllHolly i’m jealous that you can text your midwife. All I got was an email address and the general phone numbers to their EPU and the other one for 16+ weeks. But I’ll be seen from a satellite clinic for the rest of my appointments so maybe they’ll give it to me then, along with that damn booklet 😆

Eek all the baby shopping is so exciting @ThePeachGoose you'll have loads of fun now picking out little girl clothes! Thank you as well for sharing the workout!! Will try and give it a go this week. How did you feel doing it? I've signed up for swimming again with my DS which is a bit of exercise for me too I'm hoping some gentle swimming will help as I must admit my back is definitely getting creaky now like you said you felt. It def takes pressure off knowing I've got majority of big baby bits from my DS not too long ago but absolutely I will be hitting the shops as soon as I know what I'm having haha to extend their wardrobe!

@HopefulllHolly aww bless you im sorry you've had pains they sound to me like part of the normal process it's amazing how our bodies stretch to accommodate but it is also nerve inducing at the same time! I've definitely felt more tight on the right side today but majority of time it's my left side it's so weird isn't it?!

Yayy @Natty2 congrats on your NIPT test results!! How are you feeling? I'm relieved I'm not the only one struggling with sickness how are you doing? I miss eating good food so much! Looks like we are in the same boat too waiting for our gender scans haha 😄

I've been thinking of baby bits to plan and my friends have been asking about a baby shower. I don't really want a full blown shower as I did that with my first and I know its my second and probably last baby but at the same time I do want to mark it in some way so I think im going to opt for a baby sprinkle lol which I had not heard of before but it seems american! Ideally I would just have my closest ladies in my life come round for either a brunch or afternoon tea at my house. Do you think that's OK to do with subsequent babies? I'm not expecting any presents at all more just to enjoy the time!

Omg @ThePeachGoose I'm the same as you! We have a midwife hub in my area and because I'm giving birth in a different hospital I had to do my booking appt and stuff there first so I won't be meeting my local midwife until 16 weeks. I keep seeing loads of women with their little maternity notes pack and I have such FOMO about it lol 😆 I had my care at the hub for previous pregnancy and I really hope they've changed midwives my last one was a bit cba with her ladies!

@ThePeachGoose congrats on the nipT and baby girl news, how lovely!

I am also carrying an ICSI girl, despite both me and my OH coming from families that are very very boy heavy!
Thanks for the YouTube link. Will try it out as the local pregnancy yoga class I found isn’t back on until September.

@Natty2 great news on your screening results and saving on the nipT.

I plan to tell my work tomorrow, my bump is massive now and I am very visibly pregnant!
I haven’t been in the office for a couple of weeks as I’ve been on leave so I’m planning to wear a baggy shirt and big shoulder bag so I can carry it in front of my bump until I’ve had a chance to meet my boss and tell him first. Will be a big relief to not have to hide it anymore!
I also didn’t notice any difference from stopping cyclogest the other week, I had hoped that it was a lot of bloating but no, turns out I am just absolutely massive, haha!

@HopefulllHolly sorry to hear about the pain. You should contact the midwife if you’ve been given a number, I always think those services are there to be used! They might be able to help with the pains or at least talk through what it might be. Hopefully it eases soon.

My scan is on Thursday afternoon, and then next week I have two appointments- my 16 week midwife appointment, and the following day the appointment with the consultant obstetrician, so I’m going to take a long list of questions for him! Is your next appointment the 20 week scan? I really can’t believe we’re all heading for 20 week scans already! I still remember when we were on the forum waiting to start injections!!

@oliviagrace2307 (abd @AnnieStar12 if interested in the details) the workout was good, as I managed to stretch some muscles that haven’t been stretched in months so it felt gooood. It has a good pace and it wasn’t challenging, plus it’s only about 20 mins. Though I did follow up with a pregnancy workout for glutes which was a tad more challenging but it felt good to move those muscles as they had been stiff. I assume that I’ll do this combo for about a week and then find something more challenging, then progress to Body Balance which is what I was doing before, as they have pregnancy modifications in every release.

I used to swim before IVF twice a week and would love to do it again, but I got in my head about it as I got this weird discharge right before my second IVF cycle and found out I had gardnerella, which I needed to treat with an antibiotic. So now I’m freaked out that the pregnancy hormones plus the chlorine will mess up my vaginal microbiome again and get some weird thrush or BV that might affect the pregnancy. Anyone else worrying about that or am I mad? 🫣

Yeah, true FOMO with those booklets lol the first midwife told me everything will be on MyChart but it isn’t. Maybe the satellite midwives will be more helpful. Hopefully this time round you’ll get a midwife that will be bothered to help when asked! 😆

@AnnieStar12 good luck at work tomorrow! And hope your Thursday scan goes well. I also have my official 12 week scan on Thu and will be taking a long list of questions to the obstetrician lol

@ThePeachGoose congrats on the good news and little baby girl! 🥰🥰

I kinda wish my little bump was a girl, but then again I have a feeling it might be a boy. 👀 Also, we had ICSI, so we’ll test the theory .. @DippyDuck19 🤪 Once we find out the gender, will let you all know if ICSI produces more boys or girls 👀🤪

@oliviagrace2307 I hate the idea of baby showers and don't particularly want one but my mum is adamant she's organising one! I've decided I'm going along with it as this baby is probably going to be my first and only baby! So I've decided on a "baby sprinkle" as I don't want lots of presents. Was actually sorting the "invitation" out yesterday evening and am putting some wording in around no gifts although if people do want to buy something - vouchers, nappies, wipes (the more practical items) would be most helpful.
Sounds as thought what you're thinking would be fine.

@AnnieStar12 @ThePeachGoose good luck with your scans on Thursday.

@ThePeachGoose I don’t know what satellite midwives are - are they community midwives? I only met mine at 16 weeks and before that met her boss who did my booking appt for community services (also had one at the hospital). She gave me my booklet and wrote down like 4 peoples mobile numbers, so maybe at your 16 wk you’ll get some? I’d ask if they don’t!
I was asked to go wild swimming with friends but I said no because I’m worried about infection - still not had a bath yet! 😖 I need to bite the bullet. I’m sure pools are ok though and swimming is so good for you!

@AnnieStar12 Good luck today! I’m sure it’ll be fine. I was panicking about telling mine as I’d accepted the job before the IVF transfer and found out it had worked like 2 weeks in to
it and it had been vacant a while so everyone was excited to have me in post and then I had to tell them I’d be on mat leave from Christmas 😅 but was totally fine! Everyone was happy for us. What kind of questions are you asking the obstetrician? I need some inspo as ours wasn’t very useful when we met her but she didn’t really probe us much so I want to make the most of it when we see her on the 4th. And yeah I might text the midwife if it continues - it’s been ok last night and this morning though. I’m just anxious because I don’t feel pregnant at all now. Just feel normal and even my bump doesn’t look as big to me 🤣🤣 I’ve lost the plot again I think!
And yeah I keep reminiscing about us doing all the injections and all the fear at every stage - it’s amazing it’s worked! I’m still a little in denial/keep thinking it’s not real. Mad that I have my 20 week appointment in 2 weeks - halfway through pregnancy! 😧 The weather getting cooler makes it feel like it’s getting closer and closer too - in winter we’ll all meet our little babies! I can’t wait!!

@oliviagrace2307 I think a baby sprinkle sounds lovely! Doing something to mark it is nice - doesn’t have to be OTT! Like @DippyDuck19 my mums told me im having one (but it’s my first and likely only). I am not a fan of being centre of attention and the thought of baby games and all that fuss makes me come out in hives so I’ve just said I’d like to do a nice lunch (maybe a Christmas one as it’ll be in December) with my friends. I’ve not said no to presents though - I am very of the mind baby should get pressies because I have spent an absolute fortune on friends weddings, wedding presents, baby shower stuff - all sorts! And this is the only occasion they’ll have to buy something for us. 🤣🤣🤣 So they will probably be given an Amazon/john Lewis list of more practical things. I sound like a right terror don’t I 😂 Im
honestly not at all!

(sorry very long message to reply to everything!)

@DippyDuck19 ooooh I’m so with you on baby showers! And omg SAME on all the activities and being in the centre of attention @HopefulllHolly

I hope I’m not stepping on anyone else’s toes here, but I’m not from the UK/US originally and we don’t have the concept of baby showers where I come from. But looking at it as a newcomer and through a modern lens, I don’t understand why it’s considered a women’s activity and only women can celebrate the coming of the baby. I told my husband (even before I got pregnant, as he’s so excited about the idea of me doing it) that I’ll only do it if he comes along and we invite couples / friends, as a little gathering before we disappear from the world with our newborn. I don’t think I’m too fussed about the presents, but I’ll take them. I know I won’t be able to stop family getting us stuff lol

@HopefulllHolly if a maternity covers a large area and you are not directly in their catchment area, they have satellite clinics with separate midwife teams that are closer to your home. You see the midwives close to home and have the scans at the maternity. In my situation, they are not my local midwives, as I didn’t want to go to that maternity. Ah that makes sense, I think I met a head midwife too when I went to the maternity for my booking appt, and next month I’ll probably meet my regular midwife when I go to the satellite clinic. I’ll make sure to ask for their mobiles. I’m so funny with the swimming, I’ll probably ask my obstetrician as well 🫣 but good call on the wild swimming!

@ThePeachGoose Ah it sounds similar then - community midwives are basically the same as satellite midwives. I go to the hospital and have scans etc there but I see the community midwife for my 16 week, 25 week etc etc. When I go to the hospital to give birth I won’t have met those midwives before I don’t think (and I don’t have their phone numbers, just the number for the antenatal part of the hospital!)
I do think baby showers are a very American thing to be honest! And I kind of agree men should be able to go - I just know my partner and our male friends would have no interest talking about baby all afternoon. They’ll go out to wet the babies head down the pub once it’s born. But if my partner was interested of course he’d come! It’s your party you can have it exactly as you’d like in my book, it’s to celebrate baby and you at the end of the day. I did see someone who had a shower and everyone bought a bead and the mum to be put them all on a bracelet and wore it to the birth so she had all the people she loved there when she was becoming a mum, which I like the idea of! I also like the idea of everyone buying a baby book and writing a message in it for the little one when it’s born - instead of buying a card. I like reading so I’m a fan of this one!