Anyone else preparing for FET April 2024

[blahblahetc]

Hello, wondering if anyone is preparing for an FET in April?

This will be my 3rd transfer. 1st one implanted but early loss, second (euploid) and third (untested) did not implant. I'm waiting to do a hysteroscopy next week + an ERA following week prior to transfer in April.

We decided against testing this time, and are wondering whether or not to do a double transfer. Our embryos are AA/ABs so want to feel hopeful but fully aware of the possible failure(s) ahead of us..

@Sunflower360 Sorry to hear things are shaping up like the last cycle. If it keeps repeating then indeed it might be worthwhile to do some investigation. Thanks for letting me know about Daye test, I will look into it.

@blahblahetc Hope the consultation goes well tomorrow. If it's non-viable hope you can have a natural miscarriage. I also read that you can't conceive within three months following a medically managed miscarriage. Some drugs (eg methotrexate) severely reduce the amount of folate in the body. So there is much greater risk for any baby conceived during this period to have severe birth defects.

@Sunflower360 Getting a positive 6dpt, no matter how faint is a good sign. Don't worry about it being a chemical until you have had your HCG test is my advice :)

@blahblahetc hope you can get some clarity soon, its the unknown and different answers that can get frustrating, sometimes you just need a set plan. My line is so faint I would have thought it was an evap if it wasn't so soon after the test time so will keep an open mind for now and prepare for it not having worked but in any case its still an improvement from the last 2 FETs if it is definitely a vvvfl so will take that for now

@lemons44 @Serendipity24 thanks both!

It was negative ☹️

@lemons44 💔so sorry to hear that. It's a long and cruel journey 😞 Hope the support around you helps you go through this.

@lemons44 so sorry to read that, echo @Serendipity24 hope you have a support network around you, this journey doesn't let up

@lemons44 So sorry about that, will you go again next cycle?

Thank you @Sunflower360 @Serendipity24 @blahblahetc
DH and I actually had a small tiff this evening ☹️ I don't know if anybody else can relate or if it's just us, but our coping mechanisms regarding IVF are completely different and don't compliment each others at all. So I always have to look at the bigger picture and moving straight ahead onto the next step whereas DH focuses on the here and now and feels overwhelmed if we look too far ahead. Our conversation got a bit heated because after the BFN I wanted to just look at next steps straight away whereas DH wants to feel sad and angry about the failed cycle. I can't let myself think about the failed cycle too much because I feel like I need to just keep putting one foot in front of the other and moving forward, for my own sanity. He also talks about fears of it never working for us, whereas I'm not mentally ready to let myself consider that yet.

Anyway we are ok now but the IVF stress just causes such a pressure cooker environment sometimes and we've both got so many emotions today. It's so hard.

@blahblahetc yes we have one more blast in the freezer from day 6, and if that doesn't work I just want to move onto egg collection number 4 straight away. We paid for an access fertility 2 cycle package so our next egg collection is actually paid for already so at least that's something.

x

@Serendipity24 Thanks for the info, good to know. I guess that's why the clinics push for a natural miscarriage, I'm just slightly annoyed they are not concerned it might be an ectopic given my slow rising and non-doubling HCG. I question if I have to be in pain before I'm taken seriously..

@lemons44 I was in a similar position but reverse with my husband. He didn't seem to understand the loss when I had my second miscarriage, he even asked if "we can have sex now that we know it's non-viable"... pissed me off so bad! He's a lot more sensitive to this matter now.. they tell you men feel it too, not in my experience (my husband and my male friends).. yours must be a sensitive soul! I am definitely less emotional this time, fully aware that I'm popping in untested embryos and hoping one of them is normal and will stick. I need to have a plan.

@Sunflower360 When is your OTD?

I started cramping last night, so hoping I bleed soon. I'm now wondering if I can transfer in June.. and/or if I should wait till Oct as too many things happening between July-Sept including long-haul flights.

@lemons44 I can relate, I'm a forward planner and OH is very much a here and now person, although he has been senstive to the situation and has completely left it to me to steam roll ahead. Much to my own detriment sometimes, sometimes it is good to pause and enjoy the now, so he does try and balance that out for me albeit it does not come naturally for me especially in a situation like IVF where you feel the clock is ticking and that is where he can naturally get frustrated with me!

@blahblahetc OTD is Saturday, I'm having a beta test. I'm thinking it is a chemical so wouldn't be surprised if any hcg in my system would have dropped by then. I've still got brown spotting hence me thinking that

@blahblahetc Unfortunately the state of NHS is so bad that you only get attention when it's almost life threatening be it maternity or mental health or anything else. I think I mentioned before our EPU won't see anyone unless they are in a lot of pain or bleeding heavily. That's really not how it should be. How did the consultation go? Hope you got some answers.

@lemons44 IVF is very stressful and we all process stress and disappointment differently. So it's quite common to have differing views on how or when to move to the next stage. My husband usually likes to take time to consider everything but on IVF he takes his cue from me. If I need time before moving to the next stage then it's fine. But if I want to move faster then he is cool with it too. Are you going for back to back FETs?

@Serendipity24 it is a joke! I waited 2 hours and decided to leave in the end. The person yesterday however told me I need a plan and they need to scan me to ensure it isn’t ectopic (compared to the previous person who basically shrugged me off) I’m booked in this morning first appointment. I am bleeding and cramping quite severely now so I’ll just go in for some strong painkillers.

Do you have a transfer date yet? I’m so impatient to go again but it looks like I might have to wait a bit..

Had my scan now, possible ectopic 😞

Has anyone had experience with D&C? Prolly not the right thread but thought I’d ask anyway.. just waiting for blood result now. I really want to avoid the medicated route, surely that’s worse than a D&C?

@blahblahetc Sorry you are facing a possible ectopic. Are D&C and medicated the two choices you have been given? I have no idea which one is better. From my understanding the medication for ectopic won't allow you to try for three months. With D&C I think the lining needs to grow back which can take a few cycles depending on your body. If you have a medicated FET then it might help with the lining build-up, I would assume. Does Prague have any view on which one is preferable?

I don't have a transfer date yet because I have to wait this cycle out. If this cycle is regular length and lining etc are good next cycle then I calculated the transfer to be around June 20th ish.

Thanks for the information @Serendipity24 i remember you said about the 3 month wait with medicated, hence wondering if D&C might be better. I also don’t feel I will be able to cope managing it at home after the first miscarriage. There is something in the right ovary and they aren’t sure if it’s the pregnancy.

I haven’t gotten in touch with Prague yet, waiting for a confirmation from the hospital. I will definitely ask the question.

I hope I can join you in June, but looking so unlikely now.

@blahblahetc really sorry about that, I don't know much about ectopics unfortunately but as @Serendipity24 suggested I think a call to the Prague clinic should hopefully provide some guidance. I would like to think they could indicate a preferred route that could support you to return to FETs sooner if that is what you want- after all they are the specialists. The NHS will likely do what is best too but will not probably be specialist enough to advise on the IVF side of things unless you are speaking to an IVF specialist but even that it is probably subjective to the Dr. So best check in with Prague I think as they would be doing your next FET (if that is the plan)

@blahblahetc is it even possible to go in the ovary? I thought ectopics (from my limited knowledge) happen in the tubes?

Thanks @Sunflower360 That is sound advice. I have asked them a few times when can I try again (yes, plan is to proceed with Prague first as they have embryo glue and assisted hatching and don't think NHS has that, I really think they help with implantation) but they need to know what's going on first. So I will definitely let them know when I have a confirmed diagnosis.

No idea about ectopic in ovaries, all I know is whatever is there wasn't there when I had my preparation scan a few weeks ago... so that is worrying in itself.

Actually, I will ask Prague the question now..

Gosh @blahblahetc I'm so sorry! When will they know for sure if it is definitely ectopic? Are they waiting for another doctor to confirm?

I don't know much about ectopics but if you're already bleeding is it possible it will clear itself as you bleed?

I hope the doctors are able to advise and support you on the next steps xx

@blahblahetc I've just been googling and these have support phone helplines. Maybe they can help if you have questions:

www.ectopicpregnancy.co.uk

ectopic.org.uk

@Sunflower360 Prague's responded and said ovarian ectopic is possible, and I need to push for a D&C or laparoscopy and a possible 6 months wait depending on report😥. They've asked for the scan images and report, that is going to be a challenge to get hold of I think..

@lemons44 Thanks. I have started bleeding, so yes, I'm hoping it will clear itself... I have no pain/symptoms apart from bad cramping since Wednesday night.

@blahblahetc at least you have some clarity on the next steps plan. I know this is probably not something you'd even want to think about right now but would further EC's be possible during that 6 months? Maybe, if it was possible, banking more embryos could be an option so as to utilise that time

@Sunflower360 That is an idea... although I'm not sure as I'll be 42 later this year... there is a vial of frozen sperm at the ready so I have been thinking about it.. just not sure if my eggs are any good anymore.

@blahblahetc well I know it may not seem it but you still had an embryo that stuck, albeit it has unfortunately led to the situation with the ectopic so hopefully that is something positive overall should you want to do a further EC

Not ectopic. I am miscarrying.. so lesser of the evils..

How many miscarriages have people here had if you don't mind me asking? How many to finally have one that will stick?

I'm waiting to hear back re. next FET.