IUI & Fertility in SSC

[solanks]

Hi everyone,

I've struggled to find any groups that are focussed specifically on same sex couples trying to conceive (that do not have any fertility issues).

My partner and I are currently on round three of IUI using donor sperm. The first two tries we did we attempted the natural route (so no medication and no ovulation trigger injection). We decided to go down the medicated route on our third try and are currently in the two week wait, waiting for our results today!

This whole process has been emotionally, physically and financially challenging, so much more than we ever expected, and we would love to hear from other same sex couples on this topic who are in a similar situation to ours. We want to exchange stories, offer each other support, give advice and also recommendations (as there is so much conflicting information out there and each clinic's protocols vary too, which we found bizarre).

Looking forward to hearing your stories; be they successful, unsuccessful, or even if you are completely new to this journey ✨

hi @strawberrylaces12 you have my sympathies for the HSG pain. I have a small fibroid too - they're not worried about mine either. Apparently it's fairly standard stuff! Although we haven't done any IUI cycles yet we'll be going unmedicated so I don't think it can impact fertility too much. No advice about the TWW from me, but hoping it goes well for you!

@ProfessorplumBilliardroomCandlestick

Yeah I'm glad I did the HSG and it was all okay in terms of the results but I did unfortunately faint from it. But I've fainted from trapping my finger in the door in the past, so probably says more about my body being dramatic! The nurse was lovely and reassured me that it's more common than people think. I'm just trying to remember that it can actually increase fertility for a number of months after it (mine was in October).

Aww I'm glad your fibroid is fine too. Was it discovered through fertility tests or did you already know about it?

Sorry I may have already read earlier in the thread but my memory is rubbish and if you don't mind me asking, is the plan for your IUI treatment soon? Yeah ours is unmedicated too but if we are unsuccessful after a few attempts or if my progestogen test next week shows any issues then there is the option of medicated. I've had my progestogen tested before and it was fine but things can change of course.

Thank you! I'll try and remember to give updates when I can on how things are going 😊

hi @strawberrylaces12 good luck with your IUI and your TWW!

My small update is that my GP has agreed to order the blood tests my clinic have requested which is great, as one less thing to find money for! No blood test appt absolve until late January 🤦🏼 so that’s the next milestone for me I suppose!

@strawberrylaces12 yes I've read that HyFosy and similar can increase fertility. Something about dislodging mucus trapped in the tubes. They found my fibroid in the AFC scan, so it's not something that's ever impacted me before.

The earliest we'll be able to start is February - my clinic waits for sperm to arrive first and then there's an "admin cycle" (Dec) before a treatment cycle (Jan) and then of course insemination is around peak fertility which for me seems to be day 9 or so (early Feb). We will be ordering our sperm this week so even that would be pushing the timings but I'm hoping maybe they don't need sperm on site for the admin cycle if you can show it's en route.

Great progress @Quickdraw23! Did you have to fight very much for that to happen?

Has anyone else joined the Donor Conception Network yet? We're considering it. It looks great but I'm not sure if a) there really are lots of local or relevant groups, so b) it's worth the membership cost.

@strawberrylaces12 Hello :) We also went down NHS route with self funded IUI’s. Oh the TTW is so much harder than I anticipated! I have just been through two and it was the longest two weeks ever. Only advice I have is to keep yourself busy (which it sounds like you are) and not look too much into your symptoms. We tested early each time which in hindsight probably didn’t help, next time I think I will just test on the official test day.
Good luck, fingers crossed for some lovely Christmas news for you :)

@strawberrylaces12 Hey! Welcome to the thread and thank you for your message and sharing your experience(s) so far ✨

Wishing you and your partner all the best during your TWW! My partner and I found that keeping busy/occupied during the TWW really helps (if you celebrate Xmas I am sure that this won't be an issue for you as I find this time of the year rather busy!) I note that you took the trigger injection - did you go for the natural or medicated route for your first attempt of IUI?

My partner (35) is the one currently going through these treatments and she doesn't have fibroids, but I do wonder when it comes to my time (as I have also always suffered from heavy and painful periods) whether it may be something I have. How are fibroids tested/diagnosed? Is it through scans?

@Quickdraw23 This is great news. Every bit of saving really helps when TTC and I'm so pleased your GP has referred you for those tests... a bit frustrating you have to wait 'til January, but I know for a fact that it'll be here before you know it xx

@Quickdraw23 I am glad you managed to get some tests via the GP, Feb will be here before you know it!

@ProfessorplumBilliardroomCandlestick Brilliant news, Feb seems like it’s going to be a busy month for everyone! :) It is very interesting how differently the clinics work, I don’t think we had an admin cycle (however our clinic isn’t the best at admin lol!)
Have you managed to find a donor you like yet?
I have looked into Donor Conception Network and I think we defo will join it when we get pregnant. I wanted to wait as don’t know how long this journey will be! You get linked up with a couple with a similar journey to yourself which we liked and it seems a good way to meet other same sex families. Do you think you will join?

@ProfessorplumBilliardroomCandlestick I've not heard of this 'til now - will check it out a little more today. How did you find out about it? You reckon you'll sign up?

@Quickdraw23 thank you! Good news about the blood tests at the GP. I also had mine done at the GP (before we were then referred to our NHS clinic by the GP). Fingers crossed January feels like it's here before you know it!

@ProfessorplumBilliardroomCandlestick yes that's what I've heard/read too! Oh okay, Feb is not too far away - fingers crossed it all progresses well for you and times out well 😊

@Twomumfamily yeah it seems to be draggingggg, only 6DPO and it feels about a month, my wife said she feels like it's been ages too 😅I think once I'm done for work this week it'll go much faster hopefully! Thank you! 😊

@solanks thank you! Yes having nice plans in is definitely helping, and Christmas being so close will help too. Just feels like it's been ages still though 😂Mine is natural, but the trigger injection was recommended just to increase the chances of ovulating at the right time. I had a smiley face on the ovulation test and tend to have the usual signs of ovulation (pain, EWCM etc.) but they said it was belt and braces. It does mean though that as the injection contains HCG that we can't test until at least 14 days after (until it's left my system) and I've been having some of the side effects like nausea (really bad this morning), bloating, and some headaches. The nurse did say it's quite mean really as it mimics early pregnancy symptoms.

Yeah apparently fibroids are common and a lot of people don't even realise they have them and have no fertility issues with them. Mine was found when I was about 20/21 due to heavy periods from a transvaginal ultrasound, it was 1cm at the time so nothing needed doing. Weirdly I thought if anything mine may have gone as my periods are generally lighter than they were now, but another scan a couple of months ago (as part of the fertility tests) showed it's grown to 4cm. A consultant looked at it and was happy for it to be left and it shouldn't impact on fertility - so we'll see! I think they'll probably monitor it, if it gets big at any point then they can remove it with surgery.

@Twomumfamily yes we have a couple of shortlisted donors. We don't have our hearts set on any yet just in case their stock gets bought before we buy (we have to wait to have our counselling session first).

Donor Conception Network - we're going to join this week I think. It sounds like there's groups for people planning and not just post-conception. Hoping there's some local groups! Going to wait until after counselling for that too.

@solanks I found out about the DCN through hunting through the donor Conception talk board here on Mumsnet!

Half way through the TWW, wow it's been dragging. But one more day of work left (work is quite stressful so I'm looking forward to just over a week off for Christmas). Hopefully with lots of nice Christmas plans it'll be a good distraction. Went for a blood test today to check my progesterone levels to check if I definitely ovulated, not sure when I'll get the results but will be good to know either way. I did have this checked in June at the GP and it came back as I had ovulated so fingers crossed 🤞

Not sure if I'm getting some pms symptoms already (sore boobs and a bit of cramping on and off) or if it's from the trigger injection or what. I've also had really bad nausea yesterday and today but that's likely the injection or possibly anxiety. I guess we'll find out next week when I'm due on.

How is everyone else doing? 😊

@strawberrylaces12 The TWW is the slowest of slow isn't it! Nearly there though! How are you feeling about things in general and have you any nice plans over the Christmas period/your time off work?

I think it's great that your clinic offers progesterone tests as standard (ours never did, and now we know about it, we will definitely ask if we do IUI again in the future!) Hope you get your results soon.

Something that my partner and I found really frustrating (like you mentioned) is that these symptoms we noticed were so similar to those of a pregnancy! My partner got prescribed pessaries post IUI treatment(s) too and she literally had every symptom under the sun (poor thing!) We decided not to take pessaries on our third attempt due to these awful symptoms and also because, in hindsight, they're not really that necessary in an IUI treatment. The two other clinics we recently visited were both a little confused why they gave them to her tbh! Did you get prescribed them at all?

@solanks It really is so slow, but thankfully I've now finished work for Christmas (I've had a good but very busy day at work and I'm shattered!) and I've got lots of nice things with family and friends planned in for the next week or so. Lots of food based plans which always makes me happy 😂

Yeah, I'm glad it's been offered. I think they said if results come back that I didn't ovulate then they'd look into medicated cycles but fingers crossed that I did! Not sure when I will get the results, maybe next week between Christmas and new year as I'll need to contact them either way in terms of either booking the next iui cycle or an early scan (fingers crossed for the latter but have to be realistic!).

Aww it's awful isn't it. The nausea has been particularly bad, worst in the morning but does come in waves throughout the day too. No, I've not heard of them before, definitely not mentioned by our clinic. Seems a bit strange then?

How are things with you? 😊

@solanks progesterone pessaries are to substitute a luteal phase. So it helps retain a pregnancy if your cycle is usually too short. If your wife doesn't have a luteal phase naturally then she'd benefit from getting progesterone in some way like the pessary. But if she has normal cycles... then yes they'd be unnecessary

@strawberrylaces12 hope you get ovulation news soon!

@ProfessorplumBilliardroomCandlestick thank you! I'm hoping it'll be okay as I had one in June in my first lot of blood tests via the GP before they referred and the progesterone was all fine and showed ovulation. However I know some months it can just not happen. We'll see.

My nausea seems better today, fingers crossed it stays that way and the trigger injection is leaving my body, it's been really bad the last few days. I also slept much better last night so I think that helped. I only finished work for Christmas on Thursday but I'm already feeling more relaxed and calmer about things (including the tww) and feeling more accepting of 'what will be will be'. We'll see if that changes over the next few days as AF will be due or I'll be testing.

I hope everyone else is doing okay and feeling ready for Christmas! 🎄

Unfortunately AF arrived today. It was our first IUI attempt so we knew that chances were pretty slim. Weirdly I had brown spotting yesterday and I never get that before AF (I had hoped it was implantation bleeding but alas!). Onto the next month hopefully 🤞

@strawberrylaces12 ah, sorry to hear you've had disappointing news. Strange your bleed pattern has changed, but I guess it could have been the trigger injection?

Sorry to hear this @strawberrylaces12 😔 We also got spotting on our first attempt which really got our hopes up and we were so upset when AF arrived. Thinking of you and your partner ✨ Will you have a follow up with a consultant to discuss next steps for you both?

Sorry to hear of the outcome this time @strawberrylaces12 hope you are doing something fun and distracting x

@ProfessorplumBilliardroomCandlestick
@solanks
@Quickdraw23

Thank you all! We are upset of course but knew the chances were low the first time so are relatively accepting.

Currently having the heaviest period I think I've ever had though (like clots and all), so weird and really uncomfortable. I wonder if conception happened but then it didn't implant or implanted and then failed, obviously never going to know but the bleeding pattern is odd. But yeah perhaps it could be the trigger injection impacting. Just grateful that I'm off work this week but have some nice relaxed plans with friends and family.

I emailed the clinic to let them know yesterday (they are back open today) and will see what they say. I'll phone them tomorrow if I've not heard back. When I asked before if the first attempt was unsuccessful what would be the next step they said trying again. Depending on my progesterone levels would depend if they advised medicated cycles. However my cycle ended up being 26 days (usually it's 27 or 28) so I don't think that the progesterone test will be the most accurate. We'll just have to see. They also mentioned if a few attempts don't work then they potentially suggest changing the donor to see if that helps. Anyway getting ahead of myself there, only had one attempt so we will see!

I think it has made me think I need to be less ridiculously focused on fertility stuff all of the time. It's hard though as it's something we really want. But need to remember to live life properly alongside it. So I hadn't had a drink since July to try and 'prep' my body ready etc. but actually I can't just put things on hold on the off chance (not just alcohol, that was just an example). So I did enjoy a glass of wine yesterday at a family boxing day gathering which was nice. Not going to drink much in between trying but just letting myself know it's okay to have one now and then. Also we've only told a select number of people about the fertility stuff but did tell them when we were having the attempt etc. I think we're just going to update them if it's good news rather than too many specific updates.

Sorry that was a lot of writing but really helps to type it out and process it 😊

Oh I've just checked my emails and I have heard back from the clinic, weird it didn't pop up on my phone. My progesterone result does confirm ovulation thankfully. They did mention they can discuss progesterone pessaries if my cycle started a bit early. And got an appointment for the day 11 scan. So guess it's all go again for the next cycle 😊