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Infertility

Our Infertility Support forum is a space to connect with others in the same position, discuss causes, treatment and IVF, and share infertility stories of hope and success.

IUI & Fertility in SSC

757 replies

solanks · 25/09/2023 14:37

Hi everyone,

I've struggled to find any groups that are focussed specifically on same sex couples trying to conceive (that do not have any fertility issues).

My partner and I are currently on round three of IUI using donor sperm. The first two tries we did we attempted the natural route (so no medication and no ovulation trigger injection). We decided to go down the medicated route on our third try and are currently in the two week wait, waiting for our results today!

This whole process has been emotionally, physically and financially challenging, so much more than we ever expected, and we would love to hear from other same sex couples on this topic who are in a similar situation to ours. We want to exchange stories, offer each other support, give advice and also recommendations (as there is so much conflicting information out there and each clinic's protocols vary too, which we found bizarre).

Looking forward to hearing your stories; be they successful, unsuccessful, or even if you are completely new to this journey ✨

OP posts:
ProfessorplumBilliardroomCandlestick · 02/11/2023 16:30

I think the thing with the 75% refund is that it only applies with sperm that hasn't been shipped. So that means repeating the delivery costs, and with the European sperm bank the shipping is £556 each time! Crazy. And of course UK adds 20% tax each time for the sperm, and I'm assuming that isn't included in the refunded costs.

I did a lot of maths this afternoon. Pregnancy slots, sperm storage, shipping, refunds, everything. It's only cheaper to rely on the refund if you get pregnant first or second time, for buying either three or five straws. Which I guess is the point of the scheme... but considering even with good fertility I think it's only a 15-20% success rate? That's quite a gamble. And it's only cheaper by about £200 on that second time for three straws, or third time for five straws.

However, if it takes all three times to get pregnant with three straws bought (no refund, lots of postage) we'd save £1k+ getting them shipped over all at once. If it takes five times to get pregnant and we buy five straws (no refund, lots of postage) we save £2k+ shipping them all at once.

And then there's the element of guessing whether you're likely to want to go through a sibling round and therefore whether getting "too much" sperm is less of an issue.

nutellacreppe · 02/11/2023 17:29

Hi again everyone - I got locked out of my account so had to change my username slightly but I am 'nutellacrepe' from earlier in the thread.

I just wanted to update on my HyCoSy, I had it done a couple of weeks ago. They found there was a slight blockage/ 'pooling' on my right side, but the left was clear.
As for what it means, to be honest I'm really not sure.
I asked the consultant (who did the procedure) if we should carry on with IUI and he just said 'well it's up to you'.
So I feel in the dark still!
Not sure if anyone else feels they don't get the best advice/ care from their clinic on this journey??
Anyway, we have decided to go for another round of IUI, and we are on the waiting list for another round of NHS IVF... just hoping it will come through soon!

Hope you are all doing ok xx

Quickdraw23 · 02/11/2023 18:33

Hi everyone, just popping in to wish you well.

I am in a SSC. Due to our locality we would not have been eligible for NHS funding until we’d paid for 12 failed IUIs. As previous posters have noted, that is an eye watering amount of money once you tot up the cost of the sperm and shipping costs.

once we did our sums we decided to take a punt on mild IVF at abc, which is Create’s “no frills” sister clinic. We bought 4 vials of sperm from European Sperm Bank, so that we could have two rounds each. I went first as I am 34, partner is nearly 31.

I found the process of stims, egg collection and transfer fairly straight forward to be honest. Although as a previous poster said I was seen by different nurses each time, there aren’t that many in the small clinic we go to so I soon got to know them. Generally found comms and organisation very good. Clinicians doing scans and transfers were thoughtful and gentle.

I got 8 eggs from around 6-7 days of stims, and ended up with 3 blastocyst embryos at day five. Very sadly none of them stuck, so we are now taking a break before deciding what to do next. All my tests and scans came back as normal before we started all this, and really I was a good candidate for the mild protocol. It’s not good for everyone, it really depends on your clinical situation. Based on the literature I’ve read and the NICE guidelines, it wasn’t a bad decision that we made. However, I won’t pretend it hasn’t been very hard to get the negatives. I haven’t had my debrief consultation with the clinic yet, so I’m not sure what they will suggest now, if anything.

If I try a second time I may seek a second opinion on trying a longer protocol/further investigations.

anyway, just thought I’d share! Good luck everyone!

Twomumfamily · 03/11/2023 07:31

@ProfessorplumBilliardroomCandlestick I completely understand with the straw situation! We bought 8 vials (4 go's each) and shipped 3 initially for 3 IUIs. We figured if I got pregnant on the first IUI then my partner would be using the other 2. It does entirely depend on whether you want a sibling though and if the left over vials would be used anyway. I think a safe bet is to ship 3 maybe - Research says it 80% of pregnancies happen after 3 IUI's and if you get pregnant after 1 IUI then you would be saving several grand on not having to do any more IUIs (as a way to justify hehe). Fingers crossed for you!

Also (just for an alternative perspective) my Wife is CMV neg and we went for a CMV pos donor. Our doctor (and some research I did) said the risk is theoretical as no donor should be in an active infection. We wanted to match my partners heritage which otherwise would have been hard, which is why we made the choice/took the risk, however, I completely understand that it is absolutely not a risk some feel comfortable taking.

Twomumfamily · 03/11/2023 07:34

@solanks Glad your bloods all came back okay, that is good news. Hopefully the wait won't be too long. Our referral took around 6 weeks (or maybe less), I remember being surprised how quickly it came around so fingers crossed it is the same for you both.

Thank you, half way through now, we have lots planned for this TTW though which is helping hugely!

Twomumfamily · 03/11/2023 07:42

@nutellacreppe I am sorry to hear the news from your HyCoSy, hope you are doing okay.
I also have a blocked tube (my right side) and was advised to start with IUI, as the other tube can pop over and catch the other egg (who bloody knew!!) so IUI can still work on the blocked side!

Fingers crossed for your next round of IUI and hopefully you will get your referral through fro IVF soon too!

@Quickdraw23 Welcome! Oh the postcode lottery is awful!! I don't understand 12 rounds at all, I can get on board with 4 maybe but 12?!

I am sorry to hear your IVF didn't work this time, hopefully you can get some further info from your debrief. Thinking of you and your partner.

ProfessorplumBilliardroomCandlestick · 04/11/2023 19:46

@Twomumfamily thanks for your thoughts on vial numbers. We're very much on the fence about siblings, as it really depends on how we feel as a family of three first (assuming a single birth!). Of course, if IUI works first time we'd have far more budget for sibling rounds! But it's not just about budget. I think we'll likely ship three vials ("straws"?), and go from there. I think three attempts then a break would probably do finances some good too.

i di wonder how much of the "it takes three rounds" is because so many people don't start folic acid etc until they start treatment... and it takes 3-5 months for all of it to impact the current follicle/egg. So I'm hoping we're lucky with timings. I've been taking Proceive max sachets for almost a month now and it looks like if all the admin lines up our first IUI will be January.

I'm CMV neg and the clinic has recommended we go with a CMG neg donor. Does limit the options rather, but we've found a donor we like. Now to wait for the HyCoSy to check IUI is even an option... eek.

Are you testing this week? You're in the two week wait right now still?

ProfessorplumBilliardroomCandlestick · 04/11/2023 19:50

@nutellacreppe I can't help but laugh at the "it's up to you" advice. For goodness sakes. I guess there's only so much they can tell, and they don't want to be seen to be pushing people onto unnecessary treatments!

Twomumfamily · 08/11/2023 10:20

@ProfessorplumBilliardroomCandlestick Glad I could help, it took us ages to figure out what to number to buy. Glad you have found a donor, that's exciting.

Yep just finished the TTW, tested negative and have come on my period so it did not work, unfortunately. We have spoken to our Dr and she is now putting funding in for us for IVF, so hopefully we will be able to begin IVF treatment early next year. I am quite glad for the break tbh, it's taken more of a toll mentally than I imagined!

Now for a glass of wine!

Quickdraw23 · 08/11/2023 12:45

Sorry to hear of your negative test @Twomumfamily 😞 hope you are able to rest, relax, do nice things and enjoy your wine! Good luck with the next step x

ProfessorplumBilliardroomCandlestick · 08/11/2023 14:06

Sorry to hear of your negative @Twomumfamily, but fingers crossed you're not waiting long for funded IVF. Enjoy the wine! Wine

solanks · 13/11/2023 12:07

Hey @Quickdraw23 Thank you so much for commenting and sharing your experiences and I am sorry to hear that so far you have not had any success.

Like you, my partner and I noted from the NHS' website that we would also need to undergo 12 rounds of self funded artificial insemination before being referred. We have currently had 3 rounds of failed IUI and despite what it says in the booklet, we have decided to take a stab at trying to get referred through our GP and are currently now waiting for an appointment. We still have no guarantee that we will be successful and get NHS funded IVF, but we are pushing and fighting for it. I have also written a formal complaint to our NHS' ICB, which I am also waiting for a response on. We are really confused and wants answers as to why some areas require 3 failed rounds and other require 12. We are also confused why other groups are offered direct immediate referral, whilst other groups have to self fund. Not very inclusive and fair if you ask me.

Anywho, whilst we wait to hear from our GP/hospital, we are going to approach some other clinics to get ideas on IVF processes as well as costs. We are totally new to the IVF route so there is lots to learn and get our heads around! If you have any more information that you feel may be helpful to us, please share/let us know. Otherwise in the meantime, we wish you all the best in your follow up consult and do keep us posted on your progress and journey 😊✨

OP posts:
solanks · 13/11/2023 12:15

So sorry to hear this news @Twomumfamily 😔It's so emotionally and physically exhausting. Whilst we hate not trying to continue every month, my partner really needed some time and it's also given us the opportunity to explore other options.

Do you have any idea when you'll get your follow up regarding IVF? Our GP wasn't able to give us any insight on time unfortunately. Think we will wait 'til Jan '24 then if nothing comes through, consider the possibility of self funding.

OP posts:
solanks · 13/11/2023 12:19

Sorry if already shared, but does anyone on this thread have any experiences with Care Fertility and/or Beginnings at St. Helier Hospital?

We want to explore and open conversations with some other clinics so your recommendations would be greatly appreciated (we live in Surrey btw).

OP posts:
Twomumfamily · 13/11/2023 13:51

@solanks Thank you, a break is very much needed, it is nice not to have to think about tracking for a few months. I am now just trying to get my eggs ready (lol) so taking lots of vitamin's that are recommended for IVF.

As we were already with an NHS fertility clinic, which out of sheer luck has a contract with our ICB, we are fortunate to have had our funding letter come through already. Most places say 6 weeks for funding approval so you should certainly chase if it hasn't come through then.

We have our IUI follow-up appointment tomorrow, so will know more after that, and will keep you posted as we are unsure of what the waiting list to actually start IVF will be.

I don't know much about the clinics you mentioned I am afraid, but we are with Guy's and St Thomas who I cannot fault, so I would highly recommend them if you wanted to come London way, I have also heard good things about Kings College Hospital too.

I really hope they respond to your complaint letter and give you a little more insight into what they can offer you, I totally understand how difficult being in limbo is!

solanks · 13/11/2023 14:20

@Twomumfamily

Oh that's great and so lucky about the ICB situ! And thank you for the heads up and info regarding the estimated wait time... we will certainly chase if we have to.

I just Googled your clinic and if I am correct in thinking it's the one at London Bridge then this isn't far for us at all. Roughly a 20-25 minute commute via train so definitely doable, so I will add them onto our contact list for sure. If we ever do decide to move forward with them I will let you know😊

Hope that you get some insight into wait times soon. How are you feeling about moving into IVF now? And do you mind me asking what supplements you are currently taking to prep your eggs? There are so many options on the market and as always, recommendations seems to vary from clinic to clinic! xx

OP posts:
Twomumfamily · 13/11/2023 14:47

@solanks Yes, it is in London Bridge just opposite the station. As it is an NHS clinic if you go there privately it is cheaper than fully private clinics (we have looked up prices in case this round does not work). They have been very inclusive, and my partner has felt very much part of this process too which is so important.

I feel okay about IVF, as I have tube issues I knew it was possibly on the cards. Also, I feel that SSC have to have IVF more often because of the frozen sperm and IUI timing issues - so I am feeling quite positive (possibly naively). I am nervous about the side effects though, I think I will be very hormonal! How are you and your partner feeling, is your partner feeling okay about the IVF process itself? Are you sticking with the same donor do you think? (I don't think I can take going back to the drawing board donor-wise)!

I am taking tablets called Ovum - They are made by IVF doctors and include high-quality ingredients and all necessary ingredients are in one tablet. It is very expensive (£80 for 2 months) but I hate taking tablets so having it all in one helps. It has Methylfolate, CoQ10, Selenium, Zinc, Vitamins D, C, E, B12 and B6, Alpha Lipoic Acid and N-Acetylcysteine. It is basically all the ingredients recommended from the book 'It Starts with the Egg' - these can definitely be found separately at a cheaper price though (I am just lazy!!).
I am only going to take them to prep for IVF then move to cheaper supplements- but this is the link in case you are interested - https://startwithovum.com/

OVUM. Doing All We Can To Shorten Your Time To Pregnancy

OVUM. Pre-Conception and Ovulation Support Fertility Supplement. Doing all we can to shorten your time to pregnancy. Shop evidence-backed fertility essentials. We are an all-female team who understand the pain of infertility, we donate 20% of all profi...

https://startwithovum.com

Quickdraw23 · 13/11/2023 19:23

Hi @solanks Very happy to share - I have spent hours researching and reading about IVF to try and inform our choices. I hope some of it will be helpful.

I agree 12 IUIs is a lot to demand! Very few people are going to be able to afford that - if you have that kind of money you’re probably going to head to IVF much sooner than after 12 failed attempts! The cynic in me says it’s just an intentional obstacle to block same sex couples from accessing it. I’ll be very interested to hear the outcome of your letter!

IVF:

First I had a baseline scan to check my follicle count (AFC) - they look at your ovaries and count the number of visible follicles. This is used as an indicator of how many eggs might be collectable. I also had bloods taken to check my Anti-Mullerian Hormone (AMH), which is used as an indicator of how many eggs you have remaining. Both of these came back as pretty good for my age.

There are different IVF protocols, depending on your baseline state, some may be more appropriate than others.

”Mild” protocol IVF is being promoted by a lot of private clinics and this is what we did this time. This protocol involves using your own menstrual cycle in which you stimulate the already dominant follicles using follicle stimulating hormone. I injected this once daily from day two of my cycle (day 1 is classed as the first day you bleed in full flow).

While doing the stimulation they scan you every other day to check the growth of the follicles. They also take bloods regularly to monitor your oestrogen levels. As the follicles grow they secrete more oestrogen and if this gets too high it can force your body to ovulate (which means they can’t collect the eggs!) and it is also associated with ovarian hyper stimulation syndrome which can make you very poorly.

(Women with PCOS are at higher risk of this, as they have large numbers of follicles which is why a “mild cycle” with less stimulant drugs is often suggested for them.)

I don’t have PCOS but I do have quite a polycystic pattern and my oestrogen was quite high during my cycle, and even though I wasn’t on a high dose of the stimulant drug they actually dropped the dosage halfway through.

once the follicles get above a certain size/blood work indicates high oestrogen you then introduce a second injection which prevents ovulation. Mine was called cetrotide.

i think I did 6 days of stimulation injections with the latter 4 of those days including the second injection to prevent ovulation. I then did a “trigger” injection on day 7 which is to mature the eggs and induce ovulation. This is very carefully timed to be done 36 hours before the egg collection procedure.

egg collection was done by a consultant under sedation. I got one hit of drugs that made me high as a kite (quite fun) followed by another that put me to sleep. Wasn’t aware of anything at all! Woke up 20 mins later with a sharp period type pain in my uterus/ovary region. Was fully awake and walking out of the clinic 40 mins later. Was a bit sore for 24-36 hours post egg collection - easily managed with paracetamol.

they introduced the sperm to my eggs that day. Out of 8 eggs, 5 fertilised. They like to try to grow them to 5 day blastocysts if they can. This is because at day 5 they can see more in more detail which embryos are developing well, but they can also do 3 day transfers if there aren’t many to choose from. Lots of clinics “grade” embryos based on how nice they look under a microscope. This can be helpful to a point, but should also be taken with a massive pinch of salt, as the appearance of the embryo doesn’t tell you anything about the genetics of it. The Duff is a really good website that has a very detailed post about embryo grading.

assuming you are doing the embryo transfer in the same cycle, you go back at either day 3 or day 5 to have it put back in. This feels like a 20 minute smear test with a semi-full bladder: they thread a catheter through your cervix with the help of a speculum. It’s no fun but again can be managed!

At this time you are also on some form of progesterone support (either injections or vaginal pessaries or suppositories). This is because in a normal cycle the ruptured follicle post ovulation becomes a corpus luteum, which secretes progesterone to support implantation until the placenta is mature enough to take over. When you have your eggs collected that’s all been disrupted so you need to be on a replacement.

once the embryo is in, it’s the TWW (though this is often 10-11 days in IVF because the embryo is already 3-5days old when it goes in).

Costs:

this cost us £2750 (meds, bloods, monitoring scans) + £990 (years storage for embryos) + ~£1300 for sperm and shipping

the following two embryo transfers were medicated and cost £2300 each; this cost seems pretty standard across the sector.

all in all this probably equates to the cost of 4-5 failed IUIs.

This is less than a lot of IVF because we were with a clinic who have nurses lead their clinics, but who consult regularly with the consultants. It was also because I was on a drug called Bemfola which is cheaper than other stim drugs such as gonal F (thought research shows that bemfola is almost as effective as gonal F in terms of the number of eggs it helps produce).

a mild cycle under the sister clinic of my current one, which is consultant led with more expensive meds, would have been around £6500 plus cost of
donor sperm. I think this is more in line with the cost of more traditional long cycle IVF.

down sides of short protocol is that you get fewer eggs which can mean fewer embryos, though not always!

my understanding of long protocol IVF involves a period of “down regulation”. This is where you take a medication to suppress your natural menstrual cycle for a few weeks. This means that your ovaries are sort of “flat” without the natural dominant follicles. When you start stimulation you then have the chance to grow the follicles more evenly, and this can lead to more eggs and the possibility of more embryos.

as I’ve said unfortunately I’ve not had success and we have decisions to make on our next move, so ivf is still a gamble! But when we weighed up the cost to risk of failure ratio, we felt it was a gamble worth taking. It’s not paid off for us this time, but I do know people for whom it has worked wonderfully.

I really hope this is helpful! Sorry it’s so long, and I hope it’s not telling you loads of stuff you already know.

Twomumfamily · 14/11/2023 14:12

Hi @Quickdraw23 Thank you so much for sharing that, it is super helpful for us too! Do you think you will stick with ABC and the short protocol or change tactics?

@solanks I have just had my appointment, we had to sign lots more consent forms and have been told we can start on the next cycle as there is no wait for people using donor sperm at our clinic (as they have already waited long enough). However, due to Christmas clinic closures, we will have to start in Jan (which is fine as no TTC stress over Xmas is a win).

I am being put on the short protocol so around 9/10 days of stims, annoyingly my clinic does not do egg collections on weekends, they also only do scans on CD 2 (baseline) and CD 9 onwards, I would prefer a little more tracking so may look elsewhere after all if we have to self fund another round. However it may be different if you are paying for treatment - NHS seems a one-size-fits-all, I think.

We had to sign a lot more consent forms in order to share our embryos with each other in case we wanted to do reciprocal IVF (if I can't carry for any reason or my Wife wanted to use them next) or in case one of us died. Did you have to do this @Quickdraw23 ? For this we needed to do extra genetic testing (at our own cost) and any embryos need to be quarantined for 6 months as though they were donor eggs and I was doing an anonymous donation - the HEFA needs SUCH an overhaul and update.

xxx

Quickdraw23 · 14/11/2023 20:45

@Twomumfamily we have our debrief chat with abc this week. I’m intrigued as to what they might suggest next. ABC don’t have the wherewithal to tailor your treatment. We’ve run out of money now, and got loans to pay off which will take us another 6 months. On the one hand this feels frustrating, and I’m worried because I’m only getting older! On the other hand, an enforced break will give us time to reflect, research and consult on what to do next.

my instinct is probably for us both to get a baseline assessment done to see what we’re working with, see what Create suggest as a next move and then go to a different clinic and get a second opinion and then try to decide what to do after that.

In-depth investigation of your embryo quality/genetic normality and uterus health is very expensive and the evidence is disputed, but I also don’t want to keep spending money on me trying to do this if there is an issue with me and my partner has more chance of having success.

we didn’t do the consents for reciprocal IVF this time, as they were really long winded and we were hoping we would just be able do an egg retrieval each, each carry one of our own embryos and be done with it. As it hasn’t worked out we have started to consider reciprocal - my partner wants us to try again with my eggs, but also says she wants to take on some of the physical burden of it (she’s a gem!).

the only issue with reciprocal is it is very bureaucratic as you say, and so so expensive 😞

Twomumfamily · 18/11/2023 10:11

@Quickdraw23 I hope your debrief went okay and hopefully you got some answers.

Sometimes a break is much needed (even if frustrating) as gives you time to reflect as you say and also recover slightly mentally.

They often say the first round is trial and error, and many people have a unsuccessful first round and a successful 2nd (not that it makes it any easier).

We are the same, we want to try with my eggs first and then if it doesn’t work we may try reciprocal (depending on cost) - I am 35 soon so time is ticking.

I have been fully confirmed to start IVF at the beginning of Jan, trying to manage our expectations as know it’s not a one fix wonder. All just part of the journey!

I am a little nervous as I have PMDD so very sensitive to hormonal changes! Did you struggle at all with the medications and mood at all?

Quickdraw23 · 18/11/2023 10:57

Hi @Twomumfamily debrief was quite helpful actually. The nurse consultant has suggested some tests to try and rule out clotting and immune issues, and suggested I see if the GP might arrange these to save us some money. (My expectations are set low for this, but worth a shot!)

I have been trying to recover mentally, though did have a little wobble this week where the guilt and shame of having spent so much money with nothing to show for it really got on top of me. I just felt so selfish.

But then I thought that I wouldn’t feel selfish if we’d spent that money on a nice holiday, a marginally less ancient car and a new garden shed, which is what we have done without this year, so why should I feel like that about IVF?

apologies, I do waffle on a bit!

exciting about things getting planned for January! Be nice to have a relaxed time over Christmas without having to worry about meds etc!

re mood changes! Yes I was worried about that myself, though I don’t get PMDD. I do get pretty irritable and a little low with PMS but that’s all, so obviously our experiences may be different. To be honest I didn’t notice any impact on my mood with any of the drugs. I did have some anxiety during the TWWs, as many do, but it’s impossible to know if that’s hormone related or just the stressful situation and advice not to do proper exercise, which is one of my main stress relievers. (I actually had a different doctor for my third transfer, who said that the no exercise thing isn’t really grounded in evidence, and that as long as I was exercising within my normal limits it wasn’t a problem. He advised me to be as normal as possible. Although this transfer still didn’t work, I was in a much better state mentally during that TWW than the previous ones.)

all of my struggles with the meds were more physical. During the stimulation part I just got really bloated round my tummy, swollen tender boobs and Could feel my ovaries bobbing around inside me towards the end (so unbelievably weird). But it’s the progesterone that I really don’t like. It gives me low level cramping in my lower abdomen and back, fatigue and swollen boobs again. It totally mimics early pregnancy symptoms, which is so unhelpful in the TWW.

solanks · 18/11/2023 12:24

@Twomumfamily

If I remember correctly you have currently had three natural rounds/unmedicated IUIs so far? If so, I can totally understand why you'd feel worried about the hormones when going through stims (I know I would be the same as my hormones turn me into a little demon every month!!), but you never know, your body may cope with it all far better than you expect! I can't believe how quickly the turnaround has been for you and your partner to start your treatment... January will be here before you know it✨

Unlike me, my partner isn't too phased about stims and all that. She would rather not have to take them but she responded well to a low dose of letrozol for IUI, so I think she'd be okay with a short protocol/stims for IVF. Her body didn't respond well at all to the progesterone pessaries post IUI so I'm not sure how she'd respond to them post IVF.

My partner and I are feeling a bit lost and confused at the moment with everything. Our GP has referred us and we currently have a video consultation on 27/02, though we're not sure exactly what this is for! I am going to send the hospital an email to try and obtain some further insight, because what we don't want to do is wait all that time only to find out we can't get the treatment. If they can give us some more information we can then weigh up all of our options. If we can get funding then we will patiently wait, and if we can't, we will then consider another round of IUI or going straight into IVF privately. If we do IUI again we will get a HyCoSy beforehand. We have 5 vials left of this donor sperm and we are literally praying so hard for at least one pregnancy from them as we really don't want to go down that route of searching and paying for another donor again.

The girls next door to us who did home insemination themselves got their donor from a website called Pride Angel. I haven't properly looked into it but will consider all possible options if we do run out of vials.

You mentioned about reciprocal IVF. I have always loved the idea of this but closed it down quickly when I found out about costs etc. How does it work if you get referred on the NHS? Do you just have to sign forms or are there additional private costs involved? My thought process is that if my partner's IVF is a success and there are some leftover embryos then I may as well have them!

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solanks · 18/11/2023 13:16

@Quickdraw23 Thank you so much for sharing your IVF experience/information/costings etc. Really appreciate it.✨

My partner and I were able to get a bunch of blood work done through our GP, so I would say it's definitely worth taking a visit and having a discussion with them and seeing how far you get. All of this fertility stuff is so bloody expensive so any savings of any amount are always welcome! Like you, we are in a crappy situation regarding our postcode but have taken a stab at the NHS route regardless. I note that you asked to see what our ICB responded to my complaint (I will upload this shortly). As expected, it's a bunch of waffle and so many of my questions were not answered. I will be sending a follow up and will continue to kick up a fuss. They don't know it yet, but they're messing with the wrong lesbian!💪

Like you, I have wobbles from time to time (I had one this week) and ended up on a downhill spiral of depressive thoughts thinking about how much money we have spent and how I feel like we have got nowhere and how I feel like we are also not progressing. Then worrying about all these further potential costs if we end up going private (with no guarantee) and then also not knowing where to go as we're not too pleased at our current clinic. I naively did not envisage this process to be as emotionally, physically and financially difficult as it has been. So many people around us are getting pregnant too, which of course wonderful news and we are so happy for them, but I'd be lying if I didn't say that it does add to our frustration and makes us even more desperate for a baby 😓

OP posts:
solanks · 18/11/2023 13:17

Just wanted to drop in a little note to say how grateful I am for this thread and to everyone who has taken the time to contribute to it. My partner and I don't have any close friends or relatives in a similar situation to ours at this moment in time, so this chat has helped make me/us feel less alone in this process. So thank you (everyone)✨

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