I just wondered if anyone else out there can relate and wants to chat? I used these boards alot the first time round but it feels like a different space trying again for number 2.
It took us 3.5 years to get pregnant with our DD which included a horrendous experience on clomid and emergency surgery, followed by 4 rounds of IVF: 3 x BFNs and then miraculously a BFP, which wasn't without its complications as it started as a multiple pregnancy and ended as a single one. Those years were the worst time of my life - lonely, sad, everything on hold, the desperate hope followed by devastating disappointment and setbacks - as anyone on these boards will know!
Just over a year ago I felt ready to try again but was so scared about going back to that dark time in my life. I thought it would be easier this time around, as I have my DD who I'm grateful for every single day, and to start with it was. But I can feel myself sinking into that horrible sadness again and I'm struggling with the people in my life having second babies so easily whilst we're left behind again. So far we have had 1 fresh cycle (BFN), a FET that ended in an ectopic which was heartbreaking and traumatic, and now another FET which has ended in BFN. This time around was probably the most pregnant I've felt and I was convinced it had worked but the tests don't lie. It all feels so unfair and I hate how it's become all consuming again.
I thought I'd start a thread for anyone else struggling to have a sibling who wanted to share, as I completely appreciate this is a different scenario from TTC when you have no children, with some different challenges.