What TF is the whole world pregnant but me!

[StickyToffeePudding85]

Ok mainly a rant but I need to get this off my chest -backstory- I'm almost 37 so I feel like time is running out they all say fertility drops after 35! I got married 10 years ago and came off the pill 2 years later! I've been pregnant 3 times-1 chemical, 2 boys both ended at 13 weeks-please don't say"at least you know you can get pregnant! it's not helpful!
My latest loss was 2019 and haven't had a hint of a BFP since!
My main rant is I go the hairdressers guess what the two I usually see are both pregnant and chatting to each other about what they're gonna do on their maternity leave! I meet some friends and others I know to say hi to but don't know really well- all pregnant, my exercise class -one member and the teacher are both pregnant, I have a family member who is pregnant then I go on social media and all I see is pregnancy announcements or people announcing their rainbow babies or people ranting about their kids coz it's the 6 week holidays!
I feel so jealous when I see people with a baby bumps and I feel like they're all smug coz they're pregnant and I want to be (I know it's probably in my head)!
My friend was on the implant and got accidentally pregnant!
Please tell me I'm not alone feeling like this anyone got coping strategies I feel like TTC is taking over my life I feel like I can't tell anyone in RL and the comments are driving me nuts!! We're in the process of investigations my DH doesn't want to try IVF (think he's worried about my sanity) and we don't feel like adoption is for us but please help!!!

You’re not alone. I met with my friends last week and everyone knew one of them was pregnant (bar me). Thankfully one of the other friends had told me that this one was pregnant. When I got there she thought it would be fun to ‘surprise’ me with her pregnancy and hid it behind a cushion at first (thank heavens I was told in advance!). This off someone who knows I have been trying for a long time.

Too add insult to injury(!) they had been timing intercourse around an app so as to NOT get pregnant! So I feel your pain 🫂

It's shit.

But it is relevant that you've conceived before. It will make a difference to your investigations and hopefully help you continue a pregnancy in the not too distant future.

@AbsolutelyEverything -why do other people think them being pregnant is a nice surprise for you when they know your struggles!?? Thank god a fried food you before I would have found it really difficult to fake happiness in that satiation! And they make a pint of saying they were trying not to her pregnant but are clearly happy they are!! Thanks for replying it's not nice that your here too but nice to know I'm not alone!

@ChagSameachDoreen -thanks I'm starting to lose hope tho!

@StickyToffeePudding85
It's so difficult-
I was the same before I started IVF- but Honestly during my IVF cycles it got easier ( the 1st one that failed) someone very close to me announced their pregnancy. I could be happy for them and enjoy the moment- I still cried in the shower- but because we were doing IVF even though the first cycle failed/ I felt that we were actively doing something and it was easier.

As for my sanity it was hard but honestly my emotions and sanity are worse now that I got my 1st ever BFP and I'm a huge needle phob and seriously sensitive on a normal day ( my moods with AF are horrific too)

I'm currently 8+5 and cautiously optimistic as it's very early days.

IVF is tough emotionally and stressful physically but nothing your not already going through monthly x

Congratulations-I am not sure what the odds are of IVF working at my age? We can talk it over with the fertility doctor and hopefully my DH will come around -I just need to get out of my own head! Xx

I feel your pain.

Within one week I had 3 pregnancy announcements- SIL and 2 close friends. Even my gay male friends are expecting with a surrogate.

Its honestly one of the hardest things about this whole struggle

@StickyToffeePudding85 I'm 36 so your not far off me :) x

@StickyToffeePudding85 I can relate too. After years of TTCing and failed rounds of IVF I am sat here childless, while people around me have been having babies and I can't help but wonder what is wrong with me.

I have female gay friends too who are expecting soon -be having twins by using a sperm donor! Had 2 embryos implanted in one of the girls and they both took and on their first try!!

@Yuliaaa - it's proper shit - if we could just get a sticky baby our bodies are built for this so why is it so damn hard to get a sticky one in the first place

It's so difficult seeing everyone get pregnant but you so I feel your pain and I've even started muting friends on social media as it's painful to see updates, I'm happy for them but I also want the happiness too so it's hard to see.

I'm 39, and got pregnant last year through my 1st IVF transfer but sadly miscarried at 5 weeks, I had 2nd IVF transfer which again ended in miscarriage at 10 weeks in June this year so I was referred to a recurrent miscarriage consultant so after blood tests they have found I have a blood clotting disorder that they think is causing it so I've I'll now be on aspirin and Clexane injections in my next pregnancy. I've had a 3rd IVF a transfer but am waiting to test to see the outcome. Is a referral for recurrent miscarriage an option for you?

I relate hard. 33 years old, a loss at 12 weeks (had a perfect scan at 10 weeks), fuck all else to show for it.

My one bit of advice - keep making goals and plans and future things outside TTC. Don't think "oh but I might be pregnant" or "I might be in treatment". If you're pregnant, you'll be fine with cancelling that race, or holiday.

Sorry, meant to say coming up for 2 years since that loss, nothing since.

@StickyToffeePudding85 it’s utter crap. Best thing is to mute people on socials and I find a well timed dose of covid if I was invited to anything baby related usually helps, sending hugs 💕
@Melissa1983 I’ve got everything crossed for you. I had 4 transfers with 2 early losses before I started clexane. I got pregnant straight away on it with my little boy and have just got a BFP off my next transfer! That stuff is amazing I’ve got everything crossed for you 🤞🏻

Exactly this. You definitely aren’t alone!

I've only has 2 losses (a chemical isn't considered a loss apparently) a Dr I spoke to said they wouldn't look at me for recurrent until we got all our Fertility results back first I'm still waiting my first appointment for this! Xx

I went to NCT meetings with my sis before we were TTC -as her husband works too long hours- thinking it'd hopefully be useful for me soon- little did I know how long it'd be that I'd forgotten everything /all the people there have now had baby 2 or 3! Xx

i feel this as well... constantly bombarded with 'happy announcements' which is so hard to live through...

I just hate it when people talk about how they want another child and then I just dread seeing them knowing they'll probably het pregnant really easily so they were able to time when they had a baby and I am just feeding but waiting for them to announce -September - Christmas seem to be the worst times!
Sorry all you guys are here too it's totally shit!!! My period is here again another cycle no luck I feel like I'm in limbo!

My niece is 2 next month she is such a cutie and while it was hard coz my SIL found out she was pregnant with her the same month I lost my second I'm ok with that now but I'm dreading going to her party coz her other auntie and uncle on the other side are going to be there and they're expecting their second in December so she'll be quite far gone and showing!! I can't not go tho!

I completely feel your pain. It sends my mental health into a complete spiral when I have to spend time around babies and baby talk and pretend that it isn’t utterly devastating and unfair and life-changing that I have to go through this whole infertility/ivf process while seemingly everyone else just gets pregnant naturally and for free.

I’ve taken the decision to remove myself from all of the scenarios that I know would set me back mentally. It’s more important that I look after myself at this point in my life than one extra person is there at a family gathering. I think as well I have a bit of anxiety about how it’s perceived - if you don’t understand and have never experienced infertility, you might think we’re being ‘bitter’ or ‘jealous’ or aren’t happy for family/other people. And it’s obviously NOT that, it’s that it’s far far far too painful and such a stark reminder of your own situation and what might never happen!! But if feel comfortable declining invitations now saying generic stuff like I’m very stressed at the moment etc etc and then send a present. I’d encourage doing the same - your health is more important than hurt feelings of you not being there… in my opinion anyway!

So I'm gonna go to the party but I'll be in avoidance mode and not stay too long!

I went to the party it was awful few other couples -whom I don't know very well-were like 'It'll be you next' or 'when are you planning to have baby' Yeah like I can just plan when I want a baby! To make maters worse my period hasn't turned up for 8 weeks done 2 pregnancy tests both BFN hate the mocking digital tests that just say 'Not pregnant' I need them to explain WHY! So guess my PCOS has stopped my periods -Dr says I need my cycle to regulate and try clomid before I can have any other referrals! Ugh I am having a bad fucking day today and very pissed off -didn't manage a very convincing congratulations to yet another work colleague who got pregnant 'first month she came off contraception and they hadn't started actively trying yet!'
Like my sister just has to look at her husband and gets pregnant why the fuck can't I have a bit of her luck! Sorry ranting again! Rant over hope you ladies are having more luck than me!

It is truly hideous and I feel your pain OP. It's a seemingly endless cycle of hope and disappointment and underneath it all is a deep grief, for me.

I'm also 37, one mmc and 2 chemical pregnancies, 2 years and fuck all to show for it. We have started ivf now which is at least giving me something practical to focus on.

I have shrunk my social life and friendships because it is too painful to be around baby chat. I do however try to still spend time with my friends who have children because I feel adamant that infertility is not going to take any more away from me. It helps me to remind myself that my friends lives are really none of my business and are no reflection on me. People struggle regardless of having children or not and that helps me to have kinder feelings towards others. Though saying that, I do have a habit of avoiding looking at mothers and babies when I'm out, it's like I tell myself that if I don't look at them then they don't exist 😂