How many transfers did it take you after the first failed?

[thislittlebird]

I’ve done my first FET and was cautiously optimistic thinking that egg meeting sperm had been our main issue, but I know it can take a few attempts. Now I know this has failed, I’m wondering how many transfers did it take you after the first failed to have a child? It feels like it will never work right now, I’m 38 about to turn 39.

This may sound silly... but at what stage did you start to question what other tests can be done? How have you's found the information, I feel like I've just sat back and just listened to what my consultant has told me. Should I be looking at what else can be done, even though my fertility clinic have said they have no concerns... just keep trying with the next round of IVF!?!

I know it can only benefit me to do a little research and see what there is out there but I just don't know where to start!

@tthislittlebird I haven't heard of them other tests but at least if you check with GP they might do it for you save some money. My GP is useless wouldn't even check my thyroid. I'm fed up paying for absolutely everything. Did you get your partner's microbieme checked too? Mr Ramsay was going to check for infection and also DNA but we didn't get over yet to have the tests and I'm thinking if can do everything by post would save a lot of hassle. It all sounds a bit mad how they can test it but it's worth checking those things especially if you are having irritation.

We have our review with clinic next Friday so waiting to hear if they suggest anything further. They forgot to use the embryo glue for our last transfer after I checked with them it was in our plan so I'm cross about that. It might not have made a difference but it might have. There was some admin mixup and they forgot to charge us so didn't bother using it. I assumed when I had asked them to check it was in the plan they should have sorted any payments due. I've lost track what's included in our plan and what's not now

@thislittlebird thank you, yes, I think we’ve been chatting in another thread too. How are you doing? Are you planning your next transfer?
This is the first transfer I’ve taken jabs for blood thinning. I had spoken to others on here who were taking aspirin on their drs recommendation so I ask mine about it and he said he was already thinking along those lines. For me it was prescribed for recurrent ivf implantation failure and he said research is starting to suggest blood clots play a part in ivf failure in a similar way they can in miscarriages. Today I’m 13dp5dt which I made it to before with a positive, so desperately hoping the jabs make all the difference and we continue forward 🤞🏻

@IVFGotThis05 it probably depends on your situation. What age are you, do you know the cause of your infertility, are you nhs and so on? For me the decision to look at some tests has come after two failures, because I'm already 39. We, at face value, made some decent embryos for our age, but they have yet to implant andvI don't feel like I can wait until we've had more transfers fail before doing some more tests. My consultant previously said he thinks I'll be successful in the current cohort of embryos (we had 4). We're down to 2 left and will do them in one transfer. It could just be my age, but I don't feel like I can assume it is only my age, if that makes sense. Also, for me, I'm worried I could have blood clotting issues, immune issues, possibly microbiome issues, all based on my/my family medical history so I'm starting there.

I guess I found the information just from browsing around here, hanging out on infertility boards for too long. There's some useful threads on here! It's a bit of a rabbit hole though, that's why it probably is very dependant on your specific situation as to whether yo go deep into it all or not.

@try9ng I've just been thinking about what issues there could be recently and these tests I mentioned seem like sensible ones my GP might go for. And if I'm honest, the possible thrush issue gets in the way of us trying naturally too, which isn't exactly ideal at my age. Your GP wouldn't check your thyroid? That's so crap, can you switch GP? that made a big difference for me. My old one got all our results wrong, I got angry and left and this one has been much better.

You should see if you can find out what tests Ramsay does vs that website. Are there any andrologists nearer to you at all?

They forgot to use the glue? That's annoying. My clinic ignored my pleas about my low progesterone needing testing. It's all very infuriating when they do this stuff, I need to push on that front this time. Our review will be aug 23.

@Agapanthus13 Not fantastic, but hoping the next transfer will fly round. Planning to transfer two in September before moving to private. Did you have any thrombophilia tests? I'm going to ask for them from my GP but would not be surprised if I need blood thinners, I have a lot of stroke and heart disease in my family. Great that you've made it that far, my fingers are crossed for you x

@thislittlebird here's my story (so far!)
1st transfer - BFN single embryo
2nd transfer - BFN single embryo
3rd transfer - BFN single embryo
4th transfer - BFN double transfer
5th transfer - BFP double transfer, 1 baby born

For a sibling
6th transfer - BFN double transfer
Natural conception! Loss at 16 weeks pregnant.
Natural conception again - currently 4 weeks pregnant.

Soooooo IVF was utter heartache, so much failure and yet I've managed to get pregnant without intervention twice this year. Not everyone gets pregnant from the first couple of rounds and not everyone will never get pregnant even if IVF doesn't work for them. I hope your journey is easier than mine, but I'm ever so grateful to have my daughter and the possibilitiy of another 💖

3 x double transfers over 8 years. Final attempt (run out of money, health, patience, hope!!!) got a BFP. Total shock. Didn't believe our baby was real until they were 3 months old! Wishing you ALL the luck, I really do.

@MrsC2018 Yes! So pleased to hear you had success, we were on the TMI thread together at the tail end of all those BFNs. Sorry for your loss. You must have been so surprised to have 2x natural pregnancies.

@AliceAbsolum absolutely made up for you as well 💖 you've no idea how surprised! It's odd thinking that all that IVF just repeatedly failed, they investigated and told me there was no reason just chance. I've only missed my period this week so it's very early days and the loss in April is playing heavily on my mind. It felt like the universe was putting something right by giving me him for free after all the heartache for his sister, but it wasn't meant to be. Hopefully this time though 🤞

@thislittlebird also to say that I had all the immune investigations as I was obviously convinced that there was a reason for the repeated failures, who loses 5 good embryos over 4 transfers with nothing wrong - I felt like I was the only one on these boards who literally never got a BFP from anywhere. I was 34-35 for all those cycles, no structural problems with my uterus, good AMH, AFC and no male factor. Genuinely felt like a medical freak. The IVF teams used to drive me to tears in the follow up meetings going on about it being a "text book" cycle and everything going well. HOW IS IT PERFECT IF IM NOT PREGNANT.
For me, I felt better investigating and thinking about how to make things different so I didn't feel like we were wasting our money. It felt silly to keep throwing supposedly healthy embryos at my uterus if I was just going to kill them. The hardest thing about IVF is just all the unanswered questions, and balancing the cost against the time you have left of having a reasonable chance. My heart goes out to you, I hope you find your answers

It took us a while OP:
first transfer Single BFN
second transfer single BFP but miscarried
third transfer single BFN
fourth transfer single BFP but miscarried
fifth transfer double BFN
sixth transfer single BFN
seventh transfer double BFN
moved to donor eggs
eighth transfer single BFN
ninth transfer double BFP with one DD born this year.

Hi, we’ve had 1 cycle so far;
Transfer 1 Fresh -BFP chemical
Transfer 2 FET - BFN
Transfer 3 FET - BFN
Transfer 4 FET - BFP chemical
Transfer 5 FET embryo 5 didn’t survive the thaw so embryo 6 was transferred only partially thawed!) BFP he turned 1 on Friday!

Things we did differently we’re no embryo glue. Also had clexane blood thinners. I had every test going and nothing came back as an issue. The clinic said even though the thrombophelia screening looked normal it could be an issue with micro clots in the placenta.

Today is cycle day one and we’re gearing up for a FET at the end of this month with one of our 3 remaining embryos.

@MrsT36 Wow, what a journey for yous! Good luck on your next cycle !

It's so comforting to keep hearing peoples stories! You just never think it's going to happen! So every time someone adds another long IVF journey it gives me a little bit of hope :)

This has been my journey so far:

FET 1 - BFP, MC
FET 2 - BFN
FET 3 - BFP CP
FET 4 - BFP CP

I am currently waiting for Buserelin to be back in stock so I can start with swim around 2.

Fingers crossed BFP and LO is right around the corner!

@MrsC2018 that’s an amazing story, thanks for sharing. I feel so hopeless around natural so it’s good to hear you’ve had a positive outcome. We have male factor with low motility, we try naturally in between ivf but it doesn’t feel like it’ll work.

Thanks for sharing on the immunes stuff too. So you didn’t find any reason they all failed? Beyond bad luck? I’ll be going in for transfer #3 with a double transfer in September and I know if the double fails I’ll feel so awful. That’s if they survive the thaw, of course. But just like you say, it feels like I’m running out of people to talk to on here. I can see all the younger people (I’m 39, we started ttc when I was 36) on ivf and infertility threads I’m on being long gone (many already are) and I’m very much still here. I’m finding that really hard at the moment and have had to stay away from mumsnet for a week or so to see if it helps.

@Womblesaremyfavouritefood Really glad it worked out for you on the final attempt! It’s all so draining!

@GreyGoose1980 good to hear you had a positive outcome in the end too!

@MrsT36 I find it so strange when the lesser grade embryos turn out to be the one lol, amazing that it worked. I’m interested in the blood thinners, I have a history of stroke and heart disease in the family, I’m going to ask my GP to run the thrombophilia tests. Good luck for your next FET!

@IVFGotThis05 the hope keeps me going, and I’m barely going right now lmao

@LetstalkaboutBruno fingers crossed for you too! X

Hi again @thislittlebird 👋🏼 Kept up with this thread you made since my second FET failed (another CP/early MC). I, too, took some time off here (again🙄) but I did keep coming back to read everyone's responses when I needed some hope. I hope you are finding your feet a bit now and glad to hear you've got a date for your 3rd transfer. I'm waiting on my follow up consultation but that isn't until September so I will likely not be going again until October/November although husband and I are in talks of changing clinics so it could be longer. All a bit up in the air at the moment which isn't a great feeling. How are you?

@MrsC2018 . Your story was inspiring and gives me so much hope. I do have a question to chuck your way if I may. As you were 'only' 34-35, what made them (your clinic) decide to do a double transfer on your 4th? Is it simply because your first three had failed? My clinic are so reluctant to do a double, regardless of how many losses/failed transfers I endure in the meantime. Congratulations on your successful pregnancy and your current. 🥰

@thislittlebird you're welcome, it's so hard when you're deep in the trenches of IVF to keep hope especially when it feels like even within the subgroup of infertility you're part of a further subgroup that can't even get pregnant with intervention.
Nope, no reason was ever found which I obviously believed was just because science hasn't caught up with to find whatever was wrong with me. But in the light of 2 spontaneous conceptions this year and carrying my daughter to term, there probably isn't anything wrong and it might have just been bad luck and chance that made all of those failures.
Do whatever you have to do to keep sane, I block pregnancy, conception and infertility boards for long periods of time in order to be able to spend time on mumsnet and that's even after having my daughter. These experiences have changed me, even though I've now got everything I ever wanted.

@Jazper of course, ask anything! So my clinic at that point (NHS) policy was regardless of age and quality of embryo the first 2 transfers are single and any subsequent can be double if that's what you want. I had 3 single because from that first EC there were 3 blasts, I transferred Fresh and the last 2 frozen. So they were transferred also as single, but if I'd had 4 blasts the 3rd transfer could have been double if that makes sense?
Thanks, I'm so nervous about this pregnancy as you are following lots of infertility and loss I guess. But 6 weeks now and waiting on a viability scan in a couple of weeks 🙏

Hi @thislittlebird I haven't got a success story to share I'm afraid but read your comment about feeling like you're left on the boards whilst everyone else has moved on and wanted to say I get it! I am in a different position as I started solo IVF at 41 and am now 43 so I knew my age would be a factor - but as you say, I don't want to assume age is the only factor. I have had 4 collections and a total of 8 embryo transfers, which all had to be single transfers due to medical reasons. No baby yet - the closest I've got was a chemical. I didn't do PGT because I only got a few each time and transferred as I went. Up to now I've transferred mainly AAs, ABs, BAs no joy.

I'm now prepping for my 9th transfer and it's the only embryo I have left - the poorest graded. I am paranoid it's not going to survive the thaw (I've previously had an embryo that didn't) and after so many failed attempts I find it really hard to believe this one might work even if it does. I am dreading a BFN knowing it's my last embryo and probably the end of the road for me.

Keeping going is so so tough. If someone told you it'd take 10 goes but the 10th would work you could hang in there (or decide you didn't want to) but it's the not knowing whether it will ever work that is so hard. It's a constant battle between hope for the future vs. the knowledge it's not worked so far.

The way I am trying to think these days is that I can't make it work out, but hopefully I am giving the future me some peace of mind that I tried everything I could if I do have to walk away.

@LetstalkaboutBruno I couldn't take gonasi due to 62 follicles! So they have me a nasal trigger, which is in stock!

@ShirleyValentineManc thank you, I was told that the nasal spray wasn’t strong enough for trigger so my clinic won’t allow it 😔

@Jazper oh no, I didn't expect to see you here. Are you with an nhs clinic? I can't remember. This is our last two embryos, so after this we'll be changing clinics to go private anyway. I don't feel great but people sharing their stories on here gives me some hope. I haven't been on much lately, lots of people on my threads got bfs and I struggled to be on here but here I am again now lol. My consultation is next week, going to ask to transfer the last two and then hoping the next EC will be in November.

@MrsC2018 subgroup of a subgroup is exactly it. It's awful, I don't understand how people do it for so long and I don't know when it will be 'enough' and we'll draw a line under it as such. I'm 40 next year, I'm already feeling like I'm running out of years and this is only the first round. The spontaneous conceptions are so strange, after all that time, it makes no sense even if it's just bad luck. I think we'll look to get my husband's varicocele embolised, the doctor said it wasn't a major problem but I'd like to see if we can improve the chances with natural ttc by doing this, as well as the IVF.

I know what you mean about being changed, I feel like a different person three years into this. TMI but we're trying naturally this month and it's just so sad and depressing. At least we'll have next month off hopefully for the transfer.

@lucymills1234 yeah, it really sucks. And as you say, it could be something other than age. Lots of women conceive in their early 40s and lots don't, it's a minefield. To have a chemical after all those BFNs must be so frustrating, I know I'd finally think this is it!.

I'd be scared about the thaw too, when is your transfer due? It really is hard to keep going, but as you say, you tried your best, you can only do that. I'm already trying to get my head around this not working and what our life might be.

Updating my own thread to say my number of fails now stands at

FET 1 - BFN
FET 2 - BFN
FET 3 - one BFP and one embryo didn’t survive the thaw. BFP turned into a chemical around 5 weeks so on and on we spin with a new egg collection needed. Waiting for confirmation to stop the drugs.

I’ll re-read this thread today, need to remind myself it is possible. On the plus side I achieved implantation for the first time ever, so I suppose I need to take that away from it all.

@thislittlebird Oh I'm so sorry!!!! 😞💐💐

The small little victory of implantation though 👏🙏

Be kind to yourself!

@IVFGotThis05 thanks. I guess I sort of expected it, you just wonder when your luck will change. How are you getting on? I’ll be seeing a private clinic on October 13th.

@thislittlebird really sorry to read this. Was your loss 5weeks post transfer? What a brutal journey you’ve been through. Hope you’re taking the time to heal? Have you had a follow up with your clinic and did they have any suggestion as to what caused your loss or what they would do different if you did have a further round with them (even just to collect their opinion)

its really tough but you’ll get there eventually. If it’s of any encouragement I’m currently 3months pregnant with our 5th transfer. X

@Agapanthus13 I’m really pleased to hear you’re doing well and are 3 months, it gives me some hope. How many ECs did you have?

No, 5 weeks pregnant, so very early. Only a few days after my positive. Technically a chemical but doesn’t make it feel any better when you’ve been through all this and never had a positive before.

I’m pretty done with my clinic. It’s my nhs round, they’ve had me super stressed out this week and they don’t know their arse from their elbow and keep sending me bloody invoices. So I’ve not told them yet, waiting on EPU to confirm to stop meds after follow up bloods tomorrow. Once I hear from them I’ll tell the clinic.

We’ll be going with the Lister after this. I’m going to prepare all my test results, outcomes etc to take with me to the appointment. It’s a lot to remember but hopefully I can give them as much info as possible.

So sorry about your chemical and previous BFNs. Have you considered PGD testing? I would ask about this following 3 failed rounds. Wishing you well at the Lister.