How many transfers did it take you after the first failed?

[thislittlebird]

I’ve done my first FET and was cautiously optimistic thinking that egg meeting sperm had been our main issue, but I know it can take a few attempts. Now I know this has failed, I’m wondering how many transfers did it take you after the first failed to have a child? It feels like it will never work right now, I’m 38 about to turn 39.

5 egg collections aged 35-36 - total of 37 eggs - 4 transfers (2 were double transfers 2 were single transfers) - had twins on the final transfer x

Thank you for sharing @doingitforthegirls, and congrats on your twins! It’s nice to hear success stories after a few attempts. I have three embryos left from this nhs round, I have to decide whether to do two at some stage.

Bumping this. I’m now on failure number two. If anyone has stories of 3+ transfers I’d be really happy to hear them.

@doingitforthegirls shared hers before which I’m grateful for. It’s hard to imagine this working.

I've have had 3 failed transfers so far, TTC for 3 years in August and IVF since November 2021. Id like to jump on here too for some positive stories !

I'm waiting to start my 2nd round of egg collection in October :( Such a long wait

@IVFGotThis05 hey, we’re 3 years in October! I’ll possibly be having my second EC in October/November too, last two embryos transfer on the nhs will probably be September and we’ll do a double. I’m desperate for positive stories, it’s so hard to imagine it’ll happen 😞

I has success on my 5th embryo - my 4th fresh round - which resulted in
my daughter. Have just had a 6th fail (FET) and am contemplating whether to do any more. It can take quite a few - I have been told at 38 there is a 25% chance of success for each embryo transferred.

@struggleisreal thanks so much for replying! I can understand not wanting to do more, it’s really hard to keep going. I think you’re younger than me if you’re 38, the odds might be even worse at 39 + I can’t see I’ll have it in me to keep having more failures if I ever have a successful pregnancy eventually, it’s so hard.

Did you do anything in between cycles? Tests etc. I’m wondering how deep done that rabbit hole to go tbh. I know sometimes it can be a matter of time.

It’s honest just nice to hear success stories from people on 3+ attempts. Sometimes it feels like it works for everyone else on attempt one and two.

It's took me three FET before I've managed to get a positive test & i'm 4weeks 4 days today so still really early days. not sure what worked this time as we threw the kitchen sink at it. Added lubion along with pessaries 6 days before transfer. blood thinners from transfer. Two intralipid infusions before transfer and steroids. we also added embryo glue this time.

wishing you all the best with your next transfer. I really hope it's a success for you.

@thislittlebird my first clinic wasn’t really into lots of tests and to be honest I am a bit sceptical too about certain add ons. I did have steroids and antibiotics in my second to last transfer. On the one that worked - nothing but the scratch although I think that is just coincidence. I do have a slight niggle that my body doesn’t like the frozen transfers and prefers fresh which is why I am considering a final round.

It sounds like you are getting a good number of embryos which is good so hopefully it is just a matter of time - but I know how hard it is to keep going. Really hoping the next one is the one for you 🤞

@NRD2020 were yours all single transfers? I'm glad it's worked out for you for now, fingers crossed it all goes well!

@struggleisreal Yeah I'm ngl, I'm sceptical about how much is luck and how much is the extra (expensive) treatments. That's interesting, maybe I should try fresh at some stage. I'm just very scared of getting OHSS because I have high AMH.

Thanks, I hope so too. it's so stressful doing this for a long time!

@tthislittlebird yes all single transfers

We were successful on 3rd fresh transfer.
I did read somewhere that on average it takes 3 cycles before a positive outcome.
Good luck ladies

First cycle with my eggs - x2 embryos - bfn
2nd cycle donor egg- single embryo - bfn
3rd cycle donor egg-double embryo - MC at 8 weeks
4th transfer FET - donor egg double embryo- both implanted, 1 blighted ovum. Currently 20 weeks pregnant with the other.
7 years and around 45 grand 😳

None so far
Cycle 1 transfer 1 double BFN
Cycle 2 transfer 1 double BFN
Cycle 2 transfer 2 single BFN
Now part of the way through cycle 3. We will transfer them in doubles until they’re gone (assuming we get more than 2) and then give up

@AliceAbsolum congrats! I have seen you on many a thread on here. The costs are mind blowing. I think we must be up to £32k now

@thisthislittlebird we were chatting on another thread. Did hpt this morning so that's our 3rd failed transfer and no embryos left in freezer. Need to decide what to do next. I'm not far off 40 now and think issue is probably my eggs. Considering whether we would go down the route of donor eggs, would really rather not but just wondering if this is my only option at this stage. I had the steroids, aspirin, lubion and antibiotics added in this time but obviously hasn't made a difference. Sorry to hear your transfer hasn't worked out either

@SantoPalo thanks for sharing, glad you got your positive! I’d be over her moon if it worked at #3 at this stage, but I will try to keep expectations low!

@AliceAbsolum that’s such a long time and so expensive but congrats on getting to 20 weeks, when is your next scan?

@EL8888 sorry to hear you’ve had the shitty BFNs too. I think transferring doubles is a good idea tbh. I’m going to consider it once we get to private, if we have enough, and will transfer my last nhs two together. How did you decide on a finish point? I was discussing this with my dh at 3am when I woke up stressed about it all. I don’t think we can afford more than 3 private cycles, so that would be our limit I suspect. And I don’t want to adopt, would just have to accept being childless, as hard as it’ll be.

@try9ng hey, I’m sorry to hear you got a BFN too. Remind me, were all three embryos from one cycle? I have one double transfer to do and then we’ll try a couple of rounds of private probably. But I know what you mean about the eggs, I have the same thoughts. My neighbour told me it took her six attempts, at least I think that’s what she said, so I’m trying to hold out hope it can still happen.

i feel like I’ve handled it better this time, even if I’m still a mess. But it now feels like this isn’t something that will definitely work for us and I need to accept that. I don’t want to adopt, I’m too old, I just want to have my own kid or give up tbh. I’m not sure what I’d do on the DE front, time will tell. A friend used donor eggs and she’s got twins, she’s obviously very pleased she did it.

@tthislittlebird that was our second private round, 1st cycle only 1 embryo, 2 on the second cycle. We are entitled to a free NHS cycle but goodness knows how long that will take. So we are trying to decide whether to stick with same clinic, go abroad and user DE or hold off til my next NHS appointment in October to see how long the wait it for treatment. I'm still really upset about it not working this time but I think I've nearly come to expect that. The first time was devastating. I just assumed when it was MFI that they would implant no bother. My partner had an appointment with Mr Ramsay earlier this month and we are in the middle of making an appointment with Melanie Brown, she's a nutritionist and Mr Ramsay thought it would also be a good idea for me to check my microbieme. I don't want to waste more money on another cycle if there is no hope with my eggs though obviously I would prefer to use my own eggs

I'm not sure it's helpful but we were successful in our second (NHS) transfer - from second full round of icsi. It was a double transfer on day 5 as none had reached blastocyst stage so we were given that option. I was 39 and we still didn't expect it as an option so hadn't thought through all the consequences - to be honest although I'm obviously glad we did it I'm also quite relieved only one implanted.

@thislittlebird it’s a combination of we can’t afford another round (in-laws bless them paid for this round), NICE guidelines say 3 rounds and l think we are both just getting too old (if this round was to work we would be 43 and 41 when they were born). Too burned out and tired quite frankly, it’s taken a massive toll on my physical health, the mental health of both of us and our relationship. I never had weight issues before IVF 🤷‍♀️but do now. I know a lot of people relent and say “one more round” but l doubt very much we will. It’s gone on for too long already

I am the same, l can’t think of anything worse than adoption. We have been through too much already; zero chance of me entertaining lots of social workers hoops to jump through. Part of me wonders if my MIL hopes l change my mind about this but l won’t. My fiancé is more open to it and l really am not

Hi I thought I’d join in, I’m on cycle 2, transfer no.5 I’m 10dp5dt and have had a positive this time so off for bloods tomorrow 🤞🏻 Good luck with your journey x

Success on my fourth transfer. All were single embryos, top quality blasts. I'm not sure how long we could have, or should have, kept going for if the 4th hadn't worked; would have been a hard decision to make.

@try9ng I understand not wanting to wait. We did ours first and I'm glad it's out of the way, waiting for it now as I get older and older would be really stressful. October isn't too far away, maybe waiting until then and lining other options up in case it's a crazy wait is a good plan?

I had similar thoughts tbh. I thought it's MFI, it's an egg not meeting sperm problem, this will be an opportunity for us. It then not working is devastating because now it's hard to believe it will in future. I'm also doing microbiome tests but through Fertilysis, we can discuss what the findings are. The EMA/ALICE thread ladies recommended it to me.

@OM82 we're going with a double next time, it's our last nhs funded transfer so transferring both. I totally get what you mean, I've had two failures already now so the odds of these working feels slim, but I would probably be terrified if both implanted. If it happens though I would rathe two than none, I guess :/

@EL8888 Yeah, I can relate to that. The financial burden is a lot, we're average earners and can't afford to do this endlessly. Nor would we want to, I'm worried about the health implications for me, in more than one way. And yeah, the relationship stuff too. It's a huge strain. I feel too old for adoption tbh. We've been through so much the last three years and I think at this stage it's either our baby or no baby. I don't think I have it in me to go through the process like you say.

@Agapanthus13 I think I congratulated you on another thread but congrats! I hope it's all going well. Did you do anything differently this cycle? I'm taking some hope from your story.

@RedPandaFluff thanks for sharing. Yeah, it's a very stressful process, I'm glad you got a BFP in the end. I hope we can have similar success eventually.

@thisthislittlebird I hadn't heard of that company. We have a zoom call with he nutritionist tomorrow and I believe she can do microbieme and Mr Ramsay can check my partner for infection but they are based in London and we are in Ireland so not that easy to get to. Which test are you going to do the basic or full? I keep hoping they find something as simple as an infection which can be treated with antibiotics and solve the problem but it's not looking likely. I will check that thread out thanks. There are really so many tests can be done and it's deciding which ones are worth it, we have already spent so much money

@try9ng yeah I feel the same about which tests and the cost. The reason i decided to do this is because I am convinced I have some imbalance, I get lots of irritation around ovulation and my period, I think hormones cause it but I’d like to know if there’s anything else going on. I’ve paid for the full test, it came very fast. You do a menstrual fluid collection, freeze it, then wait for ovulation and do a couple of swabs and then a courier comes to pick it up for analysis. Zoom is handy! If you don’t want to do the long af trip to London it could be a good option?

I’ve also booked in with my Gp, going to ask them to check this possible thrush/irritation issue out, might ask for vitamin deficiency and thrombophilia tests while I’m there. I can’t pay for everything, it’s too expensive, so might as well see what they’re willing to do.