39, Single and going for IVF

[GGJJ82]

Hey All...is there any more of me out there?
I'm 39 and single. I had a mc 5 months ago at 7 weeks....my relationship had come to an end....where before I had accepted that kids probably weren't going to happen for me I suddenly felt a complete turn around!

So I went to the GP who had never been asked this question....can the NHS help me get pregnant alone....but she made effort to help abs then a clinician at the hospital advocated my situation and I've received funding for IVF.......

I've had checks....FSH level is 10....normal for my age but where I used to be like clockwork with my period every 28 days now I'm all over the place....I don't know whether it's because of my period or taking pregnacare conception vitamins or what but I'm hoping they resume. I've had an ultrasound which showed a small fibroid but it's not impacting on my uterus (hesteroscopy).....anyhow....I've got my first consultation with the fertility clinic and hoping it progresses......don't quite believe it yet....feel very privileged to be given this opportunity...

However......if this is successful this is going to be one hell of a ride.......

I feel like I'm the only woman that is doing this on her own?! Surely that can't be true???

Good luck! You definitely will not be doing it alone there will be millions who are single and done ivf x

@shazzz1xx

Good luck! You definitely will not be doing it alone there will be millions who are single and done ivf x

Thank you Shazzz1xx

Best of luck in your journey, massive respect to you for going it alone 💪🏼 💕

@JessWi

Best of luck in your journey, massive respect to you for going it alone 💪🏼 💕

Thanks Jess.....keep your fingers crossed for me ☺️

I've done it - 40, single and currently pregnant through IVF and donor sperm. It's early days for me yet and it's taken a long time to get here (I'm only 9 weeks now and it's taken nearly 3 years of multiple IUI's and 2 cycles of IVF) but there are a fair few of us out there.

Have you considered joining the Donor Conception Network charity? Amongst other things, they do zoom meets ups for potential Solo Mums to be - "thinkers and tryers", as well as signpost local meetups with other Solo Mums which I'm hoping to join in with once baby arrives.

Good luck!

Congratulations! That is such wonderful news after trying for so long. It's such a tough time especially during the early stages, everyday feels like a week. I'm really pleased to hear of a good news story.
Please keep me posted on your progress...

Thank you for recommending the social groups...once I get a bit further down the line with this I'll look to join some of them.

Hi @GGJJ82, so sorry to hear about the MC.

You're definitely not alone. Potted history - I am 42 and single. Started thinking about IVF at 39, decided I wanted to go for it at 40 but for various reasons couldn't start until 41. I had two fresh cycles whilst I was 41, one 5AA (BFN) from round 1 (a second was frozen but I recently discovered it shouldn't have been) and 5 blasts from round 2. So far I've transferred a 5AA (BFN), 4AA (chemical) and last week a 4AB so am now in the 2WW. One of my 5 didn't survive the thaw, so I have one left in the freezer.

There are definitely things in your favour here - firstly it's incredible that you're received funding, IVF is so flipping expensive and paying for it anyway is a huge stress, when you're single then even more so. Then although it sounds so cruel, a MC is a sign your body can accept an embryo which is valuable info for your consultant.

IVF on your own is absolutely possible, and I don't regret it. If nothing else, then I can know I tried my hardest to realise the dream of having a child. But, it is very hard going at times - the physical side I can cope with, but mentally it's a big ask. Even if you get great support from family or friends (limited in my case!), you can feel the absence of a partner to walk in step with you through the process - someone who is as invested in the outcome as you are. With the best intentions, friends or family can't be as 'in it' to the same degree and tough decisions will come down to you alone. I don't say any of that to put you off! But I think it's important to be as aware of the mental investment as the physical and financial ones.

Feel free to ask any questions if I can help!

Sorry you went through an MC. It’s amazing you’ve found funding for IVF, so I’d recommend you grab the opportunity!

I’m 42 and have been doing IVF since last year at 41. My only regret is that I didn’t try sooner. At your age I was scared to make the leap into doing it alone. I also spent a long time considering adoption, which delayed the process for me.

It’s not where I thought I’d be in life, I’ve had a long term relationship fail, so I’m just playing the hand I’ve been dealt. I needed to know for my own peace of mind that I’d tried everything possible to have a child. Hope it works out for you.

Hi op, you're not alone!

However the number of single women doing this alone is extremely small (I can't find the HEFA stats, IVF tends to be more prevalent with couples).

I've done done it aged 39.
I started aged 38 with IUI last year, which failed. I have a blocked fallopian tube so was advised to go to IVF straightaway, but I'd wanted to try IUI first (due to the cost). I took some time out and decided to attempt IVF this year in February. I was extremely fortunate; I did one fresh round of IVF using donor sperm and it was successful, I was also extremely fortunate to have several embryos frozen too. I'm now 22 weeks pregnant and all seems to be going well. I just wanted to say that everyone's experiences are so varied as you can tell by the previous posters entries. For some of us it seems a much longer, more difficult road while others seem to get lucky. I will say lucky in my case because I'd not done anything 'special' - I took folic acid and vitamin D as per my clinics instructions, that was all in terms of supplements and are a varied diet (just normal).
I have very little support (a mother who lives in other city and a sibling abroad), but it was either now or never, I didn't want to live in regret for never having tried.
@IslandStars I also never thought that this would be my life, and had an on/off relationship (albeit) volatile one, fail aged 38, so I really understand where you're coming from (and others who may be in a similar position!)

Just out of interest op, where in the UK are you based and to qualify for free NHS IVF treatment?

If you have any other questions, PM me I'd be happy to answer. Good luck!

Hi ladies @lucymills1234 @IslandStars @anthurium.....it is so amazing to hear that I'm not alone in this and so reassuring too.

@anthurium congratulations on your pregnancy. I don't doubt that it's hard at time but I hope worth it. If I get to your place I'll be in a similar position where I have a small family and my mum is getting too tired to be looking after kids. I am fortunate that I have amazing friends but again they have their own to look after but if I'm in that situation I'm sure it'll all work out as it will for you ...

I live in North Wales.....They want women to have completed 6 rounds of IUI/AI before the clinics would accept. I informed them I had competed 6 rounds of AI.....privately. Plus you have to have at least 1 round of IVF before you are 40.....which I've just about managed.....I have been so so lucky with the funding because there is no way I could afford it. I would have had to get loans out.

My consultation is on the 2nd so fingers crossed it progresses sooner rather than later......

I have all my fingers and toes crossed for you ladies who are still going through IVF...I think you are all such strong women x

You're definitely not alone. I'm in a fb group for solo mums by choice with almost 2k UK members.

I've just started my journey and am hopefully starting an IVF cycle in October 🤞

@Giraffe971 .....amazing news! Wow!! I will have a look at the Facebook group. Thank you so much and good luck with your IVT 🤞🤞🤞

Ooh @GGJJ82 that’s interesting they accepted you saying you’d done private AI. I have several friends in lesbian couples who’ve been refused IVF because they had to first do 12 rounds of IUI and it had to be in a clinic. Hmmm. I do wonder if we could flag that your CCG has allowed this? They might fear a discrimination charge. Good for you!

Hi there I am 39 (ok, almost 40), single, and trying become a single mother by choice, so trust me when I say you're not the only one out there.

Congrats on starting the process and fingers crossed it will progress brilliantly!

I was supposed to start this month, but something came up so my plans got pushed back for later.

Good luck to all of us!

Hi OP,

Congrats on being accepted and good luck!

It amazes me that they want 6 rounds of IUI in north wales before they allow to go through to IVF. It sounds like a lot to go through both physically and mentally.

I am 39yo, single, and just at the start of my IVF journey, so trust me there are a lot of us out there!

Hi all. Hope you don't mind me joining in the conversation. I am thinking of going to Spain for embryo donation as a single person. Anyone tried this?

Hi everyone, I just wanted to update where I was and see if anyone had success stories....

So I'm on the short protocol, I'm guessing due to my low AMH. I'm on my second day of Menopur....6 ampules a day......hopefully I'm not messing up the injections...

When they last looked at my ovaries I only had 3 follicles in one and 2 in the other. This was pre menopur.

Keep on reading advice to eat a lot of protein and diary! Which I'm trying to fit in as much healthy food as I can.....

Are there success stories out there with low AMH on the short protocol.....it's so hard not to pray this works but it feels a bit hopeless...... x

@Lotti81 my amh wasn’t tested but years before it was 6 and I had more follicles. I had 3 follicles, short protocol and max dose of everything and now in third trimester. Don’t lose faith

I had high protein and low carb diet ( not much dairy as high carb) and took supplements in starts with the egg . Best of luck

@Smiler79 thank you 😊......how long were you on a high protein diet? Did you do it a long time before starting IVF?

About 4 months. Before that I was high carb and used to drink caffeine and alcohol. I moved to decaf and no alcohol. Was hard but I felt I was doing something at least !

Hi I’m single and just turned 39 from Cardiff - South Wales. I had a miscarriage last year at just under 6 weeks following a break up.
I’ve been referred by my GP for IVF and I’ve been accepted for an initial appointment which will be another 16 weeks away 🙄. My GP wasn’t very helpful in terms of the process and wait times from start to finish.
Is anyone able to help me in terms of explaining the step by step process and wait times before actually getting the ivf please ? I’m wondering if I can have any tests privately that the nhs will need that would speed things along for me? Thanks in advance 🙏🏼

Hey EW83! Yes I am the one that started this thread and currently 11 weeks pregnant 🤞.
I’m on my way to work at the moment but happy to take you through as much as you like. If the NHS rules are the same from where I am then it’s important on when you are 40? because you’ll get 2 rounds free before then. They expedited me. I’d be more than happy to have a call with you and take you through it all. It’s a very scary time but it’s 100% possible and worth it x

@GGJJ82 Great to hear your news! Congrats! I’m a little younger than you but also going it alone so it’s nice to hear some happy outcomes!

@BlueSilver23…that’s amazing. It’s still early days for me and believe me I worry every single day…..but I can’t believe I’m here. Pregnant with first round of IVF, severely low egg reserve, 1 good egg and it worked!!! I know it won’t be the case for everyone but one way or another if you want it you will achieve it. I’ve been through ups and downs with it so very happy to chat or tell people about my experience. Good luck with it all for both you and @EW83….I will be keeping everything crossed for you 🤞 x