When can investigations resume? (Scotland.)

[theotherfossilsister]

Just that really, I know it's a difficult time for so many people, but clinics shuttered just as DP finally agreed to get his semen analyisis done. My progesterone was normal, and I have regular periods, so I don't think Clomid would be an option for us. We've been trying for a year and a half, and I am 35 on Saturday.

If we do get a referral, and need IVF, how long will that take? So many questions?

Thanks

@BambiOnIce80 yeah, phone them when it starts, and then take tablets to thicken my lining. I go in after 10 days for a scan. Then take pesseries for 5 days, then transfer! It’s different to what I done before. I was in and out though, so maybe everyone will get seen quick.

@BeHereNowx32 15 days is pretty damn quick! 😯 Maybe I will get a phone call in the foreseeable if they're cracking through them that quickly 🤞🔮🤞🔮

The only thing that's making my fingers itch to phone them is that the doc said that my notes were "a mess" the last time I spoke to her because of all the confusion around whether I was allowed NHS funding or not after self funding... it's making me worry that they'll have taken me off the list again or something by mistake 😣 I might ring up asking about whether I should get my thyroid function checked at my GP's or not (the doc wanted it checked because of the miscarriage), but I've heard nothing yet. Going to try and sit on my hands until next week at least 📞🤞

@ beherenowx32 that's wonderful. So pleased it's happening.

@Daisz it must be hard when other parents make thoughtless comments. I remember being a kid and knowing an older female relative was going through infertility and wondering why she minded so much. She already had one child and as a ten year old I think I said that, and that she should listen to nice music and not be sad. That must have been horrible for her. At least I had the excuse of being a kid. I also made some really thoughtless comments before we began trying, including joking that I didn't want to be pregnant right away as it would ruin our holiday, to friends who I later discovered had had a loss. How stupid I was. I almost wish they'd pulled me up for it at the time. This was the end of 2018 and I was horribly naive. I thought by then it would happen by our holiday and was moaning I wouldn't be able to drink.

I guess what I'm saying is the thoughtless comments are easy to make if you've not been through this, but I will always be more empathetic, and hopefully less of a dick generally after this.

Had a really bad fight with dp last night about all this stuff. He said he wants to keep trying everything we can but my obsessiveness is helping no one, and all the books/research I am reading/doing are making him feel under pressure. He asked me to take a step back until after SA then we can go from there, instead of looking for all the maybes like a mad thing. I'm glad we had the fight now, it was our first for ages and I hadn't realised how badly this was messing him up. Am therefore taking a step away, but will follow your progress and root for you all even if I only look once a week. Will also update when SA comes back. Convinced it is my immune system as it has form for doing horrible things to my body, but going to stop madly googling reproductive immunology too, until after SA.

Luck and love. I hope it works for all of us, somehow.

@theotherfossilsister that is good u feel better having spoke to your partner. I think its so easy for us to forget they are going through it as well but just handel things differently than we do. It's a roller-coaster and you are right to take a step back for your own sanity as it just takes the fun out of the relationship. I am very guilty of going on about it whereas my partner says he doesn't See the point in talking as nothing anyone can say can change things the only thing that will is when treatment starts. Where as I am like oh I read this and hear that... Let's get £110 acupuncture, I just spent £50 on this and that. I am surprised he has not dumped me haha

Wishing you lots of luck and you just never know what lies ahead!

@theotherfossilsister I am too guilty of previously making comments or asking couples when are. They going to start trying. Will you have anymore. I don't think unless you are experiencing inferterlkty or know someone who has you realise you maybe shouldn't ask these questions to certain people.

I had a friend ask me recently so when are you going to hurry up and have kids and I said oh we will soon enough we just like our holidays (cover story as I would never go on holiday again if I could get a baby). Then she actually asked 'so you are actively trying'? I was so annoyed I felt totally in a corner and I said we'll yeah but I do have my doubts as none of you lot make it look any fun all you do is moan about your kids haha and tried to make a passive aggressive joke.

@BeHereNowx32 Congratulations on the start of your journey. Hope it all goes well. The information and update is very useful since I have my appointment on Tuesday morning. Did you have to bring your own face mask? Hope your af begins soon.

@theotherfossilsister I know how difficult things can be with partners. I have also had my fair share of heated arguments over the years. I know men are completely different and deal with things different, however it does not make things easier really. Ironically it was dp that pushed me into seeking treatment, I think if it was up to me I probably would have just accepted my fate. I also think men are not supported enough or made to feel 'part' of it in the same way women are by the Nhs, which does not help really. I remember when I went for egg retrieval, when I was offered a cup of tea by the nurse, dp said oh yes we would love that, the nurse then swiftly told him tea and sandwiches were just for the patients. Things like that do not help, because it is effectively saying to men you are not really that important and actually you don't really need to be here. I know it is down to cost, but the reality of it a cup of tea is not going to cost much, and I think the message that sends to men that are supposed to be all supportive is actually women can do this all on their own, little things like that can chip away at a man's confidence.

I don't think you said anything wrong with regards to the infertile people, also you were just a child remember and you were just trying to be kind. But my experience is that in this country if you have just 1 child people see it as a stigma, and basically tell you to have more, like it is something you can just churn out on request. My little girl who is 2.9 months old today infact, is very sociable and is always going up to other kids that are with their brothers and sisters, and their mothers have said to me oh she needs someone to play with like a brother or sister before ushering their DC's away. Basically people don't want other peoples kids musseling on their happy family unit. (This is before Coronavirus) may I add. I just think if this round does not work it may end up being quite a lonley existance for my dd, because I had not anticipated how unfriendly other mothers could be.

Most of my friends have fertility issues. My best friend was born with a genetic condition which means she can never have children. I have not burdened her with my problems because I feel that would be selfish. I only have one friend with two boys, and after being desperate to become a mother, finds the whole thing too much and would rather be with her single friends that are 10 years younger than her than meet up with me. So no not confided in her either. My oldest friend after becoming extremely religious decided children were not for her, despite assuming she would want children because of her beliefs. I also have another friend with no DC's but she has had three miscarriages, so in my circle I lack anyone suitable to talk to.

I understand your need to pull away, but want to wish you luck and to say we are always here if you want a rant or to check in.♥️

@BambiOnIce80 Thank you so much for your kind words. The next few weeks will fly by and hope you hear something soon. It means so much.

@Daisz thank you.
They provide face masks. They will also ask you to wash your hands and take your temp before. All the best for your appointment

theotherfossilsister (I won't tag you properly if you're trying to take a break 😉), it's so easy to become obsessed with the 'what am I missing/doing wrong?' train of thought and doing tonnes of research - I'm sure every single one of us on this thread have been there at some point (and keeps going back to it, in my case! 😣). I think as women we feel like we need to try and take control, even though it might be something that we have no control over 😔 Stepping away for a bit sounds like a plan - we'll catch up with you when you're feeling ready ❤️

Has the tablet worked its magic yet @BeHereNowx32? 🤞

Next week is getting closer and closer @Daisz! I'm excited for you! 🤩

Well, it's Thursday and still no call from the clinic, so I think we can safely say that I'm not likely to be in the next FET cohort 😒 I've got a couple of days off next week, so I might ring with my query about the thyroid bloods to get the guist of what's going on/make sure I've not fallen through the cracks with my 'messy' notes 🙄 Even if they say 'sod off bambi - you've got no chance of getting your FET this year' at least I'll know and can stop waiting for my phone to ring!

@theotherfossilsister I think it’s completely normal to become obsessed! I definitely was. But if you can have a break, then it’s a really good idea. And I hope it helps you to feel calmer. Lots of love

@BambiOnIce80 I’ve had a little spotting since yesterday... I bet it doesn’t come until the end of the course of tablets (7 days). That’s always the way with me lol. I think you should phone next week. They’re so nice at the hospital, and you have left it a while. You’re not pestering them. Good luck

@BeHereNowx32 Thank you for your advice. Hadn't realised it was a course of tablets and not just a one off. I spotted when my period came after 10.5 weeks and I do not normally. My period came the next day so hopefully your af will be here soon.

I called the hospital this morning to confirm my appointment for Tuesday. They said all was fine but they will be calling me on Monday to go through some questions.

@BambiOnIce80 I don't think there would be any harm in calling them now. It seems perfectly reasonable given that we are well into June and you were expecting to do a fet in July.

Yes I think I have tried every supplement possible including acupuncture. I gave up on the acupuncture because despite going with a very well renowed person, I found her manner very negative and abrupt. She told me I would never conceive because I had a terrible diet and lifestyle. I told her I followed a mostly Mediterranean style of eating, you would actually think I said that I ate take aways every night with how she reacted. She basically said unless I was prepared to eat humus every day I was wasting my time. She made me feel very uncomfortable that I decided not to go back and that particular round of fet failed. I know some people have had success with acupuncture but it certainly was not for me.

@Daisz that sounds unhelpful! I think stress is the worst thing. When I was TTC, my prolactin was high, which can affect conception it was caused by stress.

But I am starting to worry a bit, because my diet hasn’t been good recently. I was so good for my fresh cycle. I don’t know if it makes a difference for frozen... I am worrying that I’ve ruined my chance. But then worrying isn’t good! 🙄 hopefully everyone else is managing to stay calm xx

@BeHereNowx32 Don't worry my diet has not been the best since lockdown, I thought I would immediately get back on track once I got the phone call, but unfortunately I just haven't. I put so much effort in since January and now I feel just deflated. I know I have put weight on, but it will just have to do, too late to do anything about it now, but plan to do the implantation diet I did last time ie wholemeal foods, beetroot, pineapple core and pulses. I think next week it will start to feel real so will start to make significant changes then. I suppose reality will probably set in for you when your af arrives properly!

@Diasz I know, once it was cancelled, I thought there was no point in worrying about what I ate. And now my DH keeps buying sweets, cakes etc. We will be having takeaway tonight 😣 I’m definitely going to do a similar diet. I will start it now, and just hope it helps the lining before transfer. 🤞 let us know how you get on with your appointment on Tuesday

@BeHereNowx32 I think we shall be fine. I think if have at least 3 weeks or so, that will be enough to aid implantation. I will also not be eating any sugar etc, so may as well have the last few days of indulgence. I will update on Tuesday's appointment, but you may just seek in before me if your af arrives.

So... I’m actually thinking that my period will come within a week AFTER stopping these tablets, not starting them. Will just stop thinking about it for a week. Gives me more time for the healthy eating 🙄

@Daisz we will be fine. No point in being even tougher on ourselves

Hi guys. Just wanted to join in. We are currently on the waiting list for ivf in Glasgow. Began TTC in jan 2018.
We had just been to GCRM before lockdown to progress things there but now they obviously have a backlog too.
So stressful!!

@unknownscot welcome to the chat! Hope you are ok! We are all excited things are back up and running, albit slower than we like. What is the wait list like at GCRM?

@unknownscot hi! It is very stressful. Even worse with the longer wait, and all that’s going on. Hope you’re keeping well

Hi all, hope you're all having a good start to the weekend. Glad to hear the time lines are looking positive for some of you! I've got some a date for a fortnight's time for initial tests (amh and antral follicle count) at gcrm, so that's a start.
Look forward to seeing you for wine /non alcoholic alternative when we're out the other side of things - I'm feeling much more positive having seen recent R number updates in Scotland, fingers crossed it stays that way!
Take care x

Hi all, hope you don't mind me joining your chat. I've been making my way through all your posts over the last few days. So much going on! Fingers crossed for everyone no matter the stage in your fertility journey.

I'm not long off the phone with GCRM to set up our initial consultation.

My wife and I (same sex female couple) are hoping to start IUI with donor sperm. This is our first exciting and a little scary step into the world of starting a family so all very new to us. We've been told we should give IUI a try seeing as I have no known fertility issues, regular cycles etc, we just don't have all the stuff we need to make a baby!

Our first consultation is scheduled for early August. I've been told I need to have an ovarian assessment which is booked in for late July (first dates available). That was a little surprising... At the open night we attended in January we were told for IUI all we needed was HyCoSy if we wanted it.

Any advice regarding IUI or GCRM welcome

Thanks all 😁

Hi @ally99101
I'd suggest that was normal protocol - but unsure! I certainly had to get one through GCRM for my IVF.

I'm just off the phone to GCRM too - I'm trying to chase the NHS for my rubella immunisation. It's like finding a needle in a haystack as I've moved GPs since I was a child and no one has my records.

I'm so fucking stressed out with it all.

Hi @unknownscot

Thanks for your response! Hopefully someone who has or is having IUI might be able to confirm if they needed it.

That must be very frustrating! And I guess the current situation won't make it any easier trying to get info out of your GP/NHS. Is it possible to get immunised again if they can't find your records?

I may start asking my GP now for records instead of waiting until after my consultation, just in case I run into similar troubles! Are there any other records you need to get before you start treatment? I know you need proof of an up to date smear but not sure of anything else.

Good luck in the meantime, hopefully someone is able to find your records, they must be somewhere!!

Hi, the ovarian assessment at gcrm is a blood test for amh levels and an ultrasound just to check ovaries etc - I guess they just need to rule out any obvious issues /check you're likely to respond (assuming it's the same for iui as ivf)
For rubella I've not been able to get NHS confirmation but I can sign a disclaimer apparently - I clearly remember getting the vaccine in second year of high school and them testing us to see if we responded, so happy to do that.

Sorry, meant to say, don't know how old you are, I'm 41 and too old to have got mmr, so all my age group got ruebella vaccination at school rather than at gp. I assume records were meant to be tied together but possibly not all were, so if you got it at school letting them know that might help them find it?

Well I thought I would update after having my appointment this morning.

It was all very straight forward. I had to ring the bell of the fertility centre at exactly 10.30am, there are no waiting areas. I had my temperature checked on entering. I got taken straight away to have blood pressure and weight checked. Then immediately for my scan. After that I was given some paperwork to check and sign. Mostly about Covid, disclaimers etc. I was then given my Prostap injection and tablets which I shall have to start when my period arrives, but on day three, but will need to call first (day 21 protocol). The nurse wanted to facetime my partner who was waiting in the car at the drop off point. I was unable to get a good reception, so my partner drove up to the doors, and basically waved to the nurse and she said all was fine. (Think she recognised partner from previous visits). The whole process took less than 30minutes. I think the experience would be comparable to a private hospital, being the only patient there and having all the attention just on me. (Never been private but assuming it would be a similar sort of experience). Everyone was lovely and it felt so much more relaxed than previous appointments.

I now just have the dreaded wait for my af to arrive before moving on to the next stage. Last time it took 12 days for my af to come. Nurse said the average was between 7-10 days, but the cycle was cancelled before I called in with my af, but the nurse said 12 days is still fine when I mentioned it. Not looking forward to the up and down symptoms. Feel like I have only just come through it to having to go through it all again, but hoping that it won't be as bad this time, as I shall be allowed to start my tablets hopefully this time round, which will alleviate much of the hormonal up and down symptoms.

@BeHereNowx32 how are you? Any sign of af yet?

@BambiOnIce80 how are you doing? Have you taken the plunge and made that call yet?

@LouScot @Etonmess20 welcoming our newest posters.

Good luck everyone, hopefully this time will be successful for all.xxxxxxx