Infertility bingo - pandemic version

[PurpleDaisies]

A bit of lighthearted cathartic moaning.

Just recently I’ve spotted some new additions to the usual “just relax/my aunt’s cousin’s friend’s sister got pregnant by taking snail pollen etc...

You wouldn’t want to be pregnant in a pandemic.

People without children have it so easy during lockdown.

Any more? Hope you lovely ladies of the club no one wants to be in are hanging in there.

"Just wait for IVF till this is all over"

"IVF is so selfish whilst other people are DYING"

I've seen a lot of thoughtless comments about infertility in my time, but never more in the last couple of weeks have so many actually been nasty

Take care of yourselves x

Not having children is a lifestyle choice when referring to ivf treatment 😬🙄

'Maybe you'll get pregnant and have a corona boomer'

If your home with your husband during lockdown bet you won't need that IVF in a couple of months wink wink nudge nudge......

(Said by my parents.....who clearly need a biology lesson since I lost both tubes to ectopics in 18 months. If I get pregnant naturally if would be the immaculate conception)

These are awful! Why are people so thoughtless?

The worst one I saw was a comment on a daily mail article about how the fertility clinics were closed and the impact of it on people. Someone wrote essentially that if nature made you infertile then that's the way you should stay, oh yes and of course my favourite why don't you adopt!!!! Oh and don't over populate the planet!!!!! Some of the recent comments have brought me close to tears.

'There's going to be a baby boom in 9 months'. Looking forward to 3 months time when all the announcements start...

From another thread, anything that starts with “at least...”
You know the end of the sentence will make you want to murder people.

@Waitingformyrainbow2020
Do you mean this article
www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-8234613/The-women-robbed-motherhood-virus.html#comments

God, the comments are infertility bingo tastic.

The comment which seems to get pedalled a lot around MN at the moment is that “IVF is a choice” and people should “stop being so selfish being upset that their IVF has been postponed/cancelled when people are dying”

Awful.

Hi @EarlGreyT, yep that really is one if the worst comments, as if people choose to be infertile! I think that's a different one but the comments are just as bad, you can tell they are from people who have no idea about Ivf or infertility and it's effects on people's lives let alone their mental health.

Someone wrote essentially that if nature made you infertile then that's the way you should stay

I wonder if they say that to corona or cancer patients. "Hey, that's nature at work, you should just accept it and die."

Funny how those double standards work.

Funny how those double standards work.

Yes, and I always wonder what they’d say if their daughter needed ivf.

@Marphise
Yes, I have seen that sort of comment thrown around a lot and about how infertility is “natural selection”. Strangely people seem to think that this natural selection only applies to infertility and as you say, not to cancer/Coronavirus/pneumonia or anything else.

There are some really awful comments and real arseholes on that current thread on AIBU re infertility. The whole thread is infertility bingo tastic. One particular gem is that infertility isn’t a disease because it doesn’t kill you. In the same vein that should mean the same posters think cataracts/arthritis/endometriosis etc etc aren’t diseases, but of course they don’t. Apparently it only applies to infertility. Some people’s logic (or lack of it) is astounding.

Oh, I just looked at that, I think the most hurtful thing for me was when my friends, the people who knew how much we have been through in four years, constantly, implied that we shouldn't even be doing ivf privately (at this point I had started stims) they said we should stop taking resources from the NHS. I felt like the absolute worst person on the planet. People who haven't struggled with infertility just don't or can't understand.

@Waitingformyrainbow2020

I get this too except from my immediate family - parents/siblings none of them are particularly interested - 4 rounds of IVF and they never ask how it's gone, how we are coping, what's it like, even just words of comfort or support. I try to talk to my parents but they appear uncomfortable and end the conversation with "all this is alien to us" or "it's all a bit technical for me" 🤦‍♀️

Hi @ivfgottostaypositive I'm sorry to hear that it is rough. I think a lot of comes from people not understanding when it's people closest to you and when it's the wider world I think it's more arrogant ignorance but it doesn't make it hurt any less. I know. I think it's nice that we can all be here to support each other on these threads. I hope you and everyone else here gets their miracles when things get better.

The AIBU thread is horrible. It shows how stupid and unimaginative some people are.

Funnily enough, always spouted by posters with who fell pregnant by accident/the first month of trying/DH only looks at me and I'm pregnant with twins.

Nice of them.

@ChoppingBlock

Yup nothing worse than being preached at by the smugly fertile lot or the "childfree and proud" brigade - makes my blood boil

I totally agree to everything written. There are some fucking obnoxious and unfeeling people on here. The smugness is often off the scale

"I'd hate to give birth in the current environment!!"

Just dropping in to wave to everyone. Bloody hell people are insensitive. I’m so glad there’s a safe space here to vent.

I've seen so many threads where the OP says 'I'm devastated my IVF is cancelled' only for posters/trolls to say:

-IVF is unnatural
-Infertility is nature's way of saying you shouldn't have kids
-IVF shouldn't be available on the NHS
-You shouldn't have kids if you can't afford private IVF
-You should adopt instead of trying IVF
-The world is overpopulated anyway
-Have you thought about not being stressed, it'll just 'happen'
-IVF isn't a medical need

I might be in need of a rant!

@ChoppingBlock.
You missed

• it’s selfish to be upset about IVF being cancelled when people are dying.

Someone wise on here once posted that people on MN were often of the opinion that “you can only understand true empathy once you’re a parent”. Clearly, as demonstrated by the kind of “ true empathy” often spouted by parents on any thread related to infertility.

@ChoppingBlock don’t start me on the “natural” thing. What is natural anyway?!