Infertility bingo - pandemic version

[PurpleDaisies]

A bit of lighthearted cathartic moaning.

Just recently I’ve spotted some new additions to the usual “just relax/my aunt’s cousin’s friend’s sister got pregnant by taking snail pollen etc...

You wouldn’t want to be pregnant in a pandemic.

People without children have it so easy during lockdown.

Any more? Hope you lovely ladies of the club no one wants to be in are hanging in there.

@EarlGreyT the “true empathy” argument is a bit like the argument that having children makes you less selfish. Which is a massive over simplification, usually it just means people transfer / project their selfishness to their only children being prioritised

I previously worked with a woman who would start her sentences ‘as a mother....’. For example we’d be speaking about something topical and sad in the news such as a hurricane devastating a community and she would say ‘as a mother I find it so terrible’ with the emphasis that the childless could never really feel such empathy.

I know one of those. She’ll say things like “as a mother, I don’t understand how anyone can mistreat children”. I normally reply that any proper human being wouldn’t be to understand that but apparently only mothers can get it. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a man say “as a father...”

@PurpleDaisies yeah men don’t get wrapped up into that kind of stuff. They also don’t ask as many tactless and thoughtless fertility questions

I remember Andrea leadsom saying she had a bigger stake in the country because she had children, basically attacking Theresa May for not having any. Awful.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/politics/2016/jul/10/andrea-leadsom-apologises-for-motherhood-remarks

Also hate it when people say 'if you can't afford IVF then you can't afford a child' 🙄

@EL8888
Which is a massive over simplification, usually it just means people transfer / project their selfishness to their only children being prioritised

Or themselves being prioritised using the fact that they are a parent as an excuse, which is why every Christmas there are threads on here about how the people who are parents shouldn’t have to work over the Christmas period and the people without children should be made to work instead. People often seem to think this is true even if their child is under the age of having any clue what Christmas is and they are obviously just using their child(ren) as an excuse to justify their own selfishness.

@PurpleDaisies. I remember her saying that too. Dreadful woman.

@twinkledag
Oh god yes, that comment is awful. And when people mention the cost of IVF and that it is expensive, some people like to comment about how having children is expensive too. They don’t seem to understand that the 2 things aren’t comparable.

This thread is making me feel better, thank you!

Also, the posters saying it's utterly selfish to even think about TTC right now. Some of us don't have the luxury of time and life can't 'stop' indefinitely surely?

Is it ideal? No. But when is it ever the ideal, perfect time.

I previously worked with a woman who would start her sentences ‘as a mother....’.

I know one of these. Not having children apparently renders you incapable of empathy, understanding any capacity of intelligence.

Oh, and we can't possibly understand what it's like to feel tired. And we all go on constant luxury holidays and have rich, wonderful social lives. Coz that's what you do if you don't have children.

I have to be honest though that my childcare bill alone for DD for 3 years was £900 a month (with a childminder - it would have been even more if she was at a nursery) which is more than 3 times the cost of my monthly IVF loan repayments. So for me the monthly financial cost of IVF is far far cheaper than the monthly cost of having DD x

Nobody deserves kids more than us, we are really fighting for them, physically and emotionally. If we were selfish or ignorant we wouldn't care.
Even my line manager who knows I'm struggling made a comments about a covid baby boom. It's OK, sometimes people say things without thinking.
Let's just ignore the nasty comments and focus on people who care about us. X

I had a doctor at work tell me...

"They can't start IVF back up again, we are going to have a baby boom from the pandemic and be overwhelmed, they should stagger the IVF to help"

Errrrr, hold on then, us who have been waiting and trying for yearssssss will just sit by and let all the bordem/accidental pregnancies go first then? Eurgh i nearly screamed!

@Mseddy that’s ill thought out by him especially if he’s a doctor. So the randoms push people further down the queue, who have been potentially already been waiting for years?