Anyone doing ivf at 40+

[lucieloos]

We're considering doing a couple more rounds of ivf at 40.5 years old. We have 2 children already but still feel someone is missing.

Is anyone else starting or already having treatment at 40+ and would like to share the journey?

Hello ladies,
Was reading the thread and seems like you have had quite of experience with FET. Do your clinics do cryo cycles in consecutive months or is there always a gap month required?

@lucymills1234 Hope you're feeling a bit better with a plan in place for next steps, rather than risking another embryo with the same protocol as before. It's frustrating in a way that consultants seem to have varying opinions on treatments and meds, you would think there would be one standard opinion on whether something like ERA / scratch is worthwhile, but i suppose they have to fit it to individual circumstances.

I think my Dr was happy to prescribe an auto immune protocol next time to help implantation, due to a combination of only have one embryo left, having already failed with a euploid and also my age.

I'm having the same worries too about needing another round at nearly 43. It took me 3 rounds and 13 embryos to find 2 normal, so the odds don't look great. On the flip side, i do seem to produce blasts each round, which i know even some younger women don't, so we are both lucky there.

Do you think you will ever consider DE? If i remember right, you are using donor sperm? (i am too). I know i wouldn't love the child any less if using DE, but i worry that the they will not feel any sense of identity if they are the result of double donor. Does that make sense? Hopefully we won't need to consider this, but it's starting to cross my mind...probably too much time on my hands whilst i wait for the hysteroscopy, you're so right about IVF having it's own time zone!

@TheDutchess3 My clinic would normally leave a gap between FET after a failed one, but that's mainly because you'd need to book a review with consultant to see if there's any change of protocol needed. You could theoretically do consecutive FETs, but it depends on how many embryos you have left as to whether you think a change of protocol would be best and also if you can order the meds for next transfer in time.

Thanks @IslandStars, that makes sense. In my clinic they always have a gap month between fresh cycles but I was not sure about FET as only had 2 fresh attempts.

Quickly caught up. I’m really sorry that the group is having a difficult time. This process is horrendous. I was planning to go to northern cyprus for egg collection 9th of June but the rules are still impossible with forced isolation on arrival in government hotels :(. I’ve booked a scan and consultation at create in Wilmslow, to potentially start the process in the uk. Been taking my supplements for a few months x

Hi ladies hope you don't mind me joining, I'm 42.5, had three MCs in the last 2.5 years all conceived naturally. Tests in Feb now showed low AMH and low AFC conscious that time is against us so tried IVF in March but it got cancelled on day of EC as I ovulated naturally the night before. Now trying again but a different protocol, trying to remain positive but know the odds are stacked heavily against us. Just wanted to share with others who get it! Take care of yourselves x

Hello ivf21, do look at supplements and acupuncture. Fingers crossed for your next round x

Thank you @Woodcottage1 I'm on all the recommended supplements and I've been having regular acupuncture for a couple of years! I keep hoping that there's still one good egg in there! x

There will be! I went on the supplements from the book ‘it starts with an egg’ or whatever the famous book is, and got amazing results from 1st round vs 2nd round and resulted in a baby at 41. One normal is all we need. I’m back on the supplements and hoping to go back to cyprus soon x

@Woodcottage1 Must be very frustrating to deal with all these travel rules at the moment, so hope your appointment at Create goes well. You can probably do without the stress of ever changing Covid rules on top of IVF!

@IVF21 Sorry you had all those MCs, ovarian reserve is such a worry at our age, but at least you know implantation / pregnancy is possible. We can only keep trying for that golden egg whilst health and finances still allow, hope it all goes well, there’s just so many hurdles along the way.

Hi @IVF21 sorry to hear about your MCs. Have you had any tests done to establish what may have happened? I've just had a few blood tests following implantation failures and I believe they also suggested for someone who's been through recurrent miscarriages - they look at blood clotting and auto-immune factors.

@IslandStars Yes, I'm glad there's a plan now but you're right, it's hard to know what to do when every Dr says something different.

I've already had my bloods done so now waiting on results. I decided to go for a scratch and it's booked for next week. But (there's always a but!) I did an ovulation test yesterday which is my day 14, because I was trying to get an idea of what my next FET timings might look like. I use the Clearblue Advance tests and was expecting either the flashing or static smiley face, to show I was on the build up to ovulating or had hit the LH surge - my cycles are usually a predictable 28 days.

I got the empty circle meaning no hormones registering. I don't think I've already ovulated (no CM) but I'm running way behind if I'm not even at the build-up point. I need to ask my clinic if it's ok to have the scratch before I've ovulated. If this cycle is going to run long, then the transfer (in the next cycle) is even further away :( I know cycles can be disrupted by IVF drugs but since I had nothing but some progesterone pessaries, I hoped that wouldn't be the case.

I have thought about DE... I'm conflicted. It's very expensive of course, but as you say it's mainly the lack of a genetic link. I'm sure it wouldn't affect how I feel about a baby, but it does change one of the main factors that motivated me to try IVF rather than look at the adoption route. Never say never, but I don't think I am ready to look seriously at it yet.

Do you have a date for your hysteroscopy yet?

@lucymills1234 Hope the scratch goes well. I’ve never tracked ovulation before. I was thinking of starting incase I switch to a natural FET. My cycles are generally 29 days now, but were longer when I was doing stims.

I kind of feel the same about DE. I considered adoption for a long time and was quite set on it, but all the children on LA books had such significant additional needs and I don’t think as a single parent who needs to work, that I could care for them enough. Such dilemmas, but I hope we can both keep trying with own eggs. So many women seem to get pregnant naturally in early 40s now, but when you’re only trying through IVF, it’s so time consuming and expensive.

Hi ladies,

Hope it’s alright if I join. Was on this board a few years back when we went through IVF for our first Dc. I’m 40 this year and we have one frozen embryo from the cycle that brought DC. DH feels happy with things as they are now, not entirely opposed to doing the FET but not obsessing about it either. But There’s rarely a moment in the day where I don’t wonder about whether we should try for the FET or not. Is anyone else in a Similar situation? How have you organized your thoughts around “trying”? My heart goes over the coals every day as I goback and forth.

What clinic in Cyprus?

Hi @IslandStars hope you're enjoying the sunshine!

If you consider doing a scratch, I found it ok. There was a fairly brief but intense cramping pain but it's short.

My period came at the weekend, so I must have ovulated really early. It was a 21 day cycle and it's never been so short before. After I had my fresh cycle last year I had a withdrawal bleed after BFN and then a 24 day cycle which was short for me, this time after FET I got a bleed after BFN and then a 'normal' period after only 21 days. Maybe it's the progesterone - it's the only medication I had both times.

The upside of a short period is that I'm now on the way to my next FET. I'm waiting to find out the results of my blood tests which I'm really curious about. Other than that, I'll start ovulation testing soon and will then be on countdown to another transfer.

Yes, adoption is a complex decision as well. I think it's an amazing thing to do but as you say there do often seem to be additional needs which require really careful consideration. Much as I understand the odds are not in my favour with IVF, I don't feel I'm done trying with it yet. I hope you're surviving your wait...

@conkerandspoon I am in a very different position so not sure I can offer much advice. I'm single and 42 with no other children so it's only my decision. For me, I knew that if I didn't try (even knowing odds aren't great), I would regret not giving it a go. I knew I'd be worse off financially, I knew it'd be hard emotionally, but I thought the worst of all would be getting 5 years down the line when something that is a small possibility now is then impossible and feeling 'I wish I'd tried'. I can try to earn/save more money, I can work on the emotional stuff, but I can't turn the clock back. At my age I felt not making a decision about kids was actually still making a decision because time is short. That's just my take and it's a very personal call. Good luck.

@lucymills1234 Yes, weather has been fabulous and I’m making the most of it until I have to return to the office soon!

Glad the scratch went well. My periods following BFN and the cancelled cycle were also shorter than usual, so maybe it is the progesterone. It’s good it’s moved things along anyway so now you can focus on your next FET. Really hope this the lucky one.

I’m still waiting to get my hysteroscopy appointment, but am trying to distract myself a bit more socially and just have faith in my remaining embryo.

Thanks @IslandStars :) Ovulation tests are starting to register rising hormones so I should be days away from my LH surge and scan. Then they'll plan the FET so it shouldn't be long. Yes, fingers crossed as ever that this is the lucky transfer. My blood tests were all ok which is good, though doesn't provide any answers! Surprisingly as they're minimal with meds, the consultant said a small dose of Clexane wouldn't hurt and could possibly help so I'm going to try it.

Glad you are getting some socialising to distract yourself! I had one drink at the weekend, my first since before my last FET. I know I could safely have more but seem to have a mental block around it.

The fact your remaining embryo has been tested is a huge positive, though I know it doesn't give any guarantees.

Good luck going back to the office, must feel so weird to be back in that environment after this last year.

Hi @lucymills1234 glad things are moving along. I think it’s good that Clexane has been added in, since a lot of clinics do this after BFNs. It won’t do any harm at least.

I know what you mean about the mental block on alcohol, I was very strict and had nothing during all my ECs and first FET, not that it helped! I’ve had a few drinks recently, but haven’t enjoyed them that much...I think my brain is associating being able to drink with not being pregnant, so its not as much fun as before.

I’ve got a consultation for my hysteroscopy soon, then hopefully get that done in August and swiftly move onto FET.

Hi ladies , I’m sunshine and posted a while back. I’ve been wondering whether to post again awol still in a delicate position with no guarantees but at the same time I wanted you to have some hope. I know how hopeless this can all feel.
I had 3 mmc at 8-9 week stage and 1 chemical. All in the last two years. Thinking it was age (40 now) did ivf with pgs. First round got one bb normal embryo which is on ice. Went for a second round and ivf was a disaster ( I wasn’t mentally right to be honest and the past two years had broken me a bit) my hormones were everywhere and one day I had 7 cetrotide to try and stop me ovulating early. I only had 4 follicles.
Day of egg collection I had already ovulated and my poor dh had to rush to the clinic as the only option we had was IUI ( which has very low success over 40 anyway) no idea when I ovulated either , one follicle was perhaps that day. I took cyclogest x4 a day and waited. I’m now 14 weeks pregnant.
I have done immunes this time and that’s the only difference ( via Gorgy) been on 25mg prednisone, 40mg clexane, baby aspirin, progesterone injections, intralipids, done one IViG and also did LAD/LIT. I had low antibodies ( showing my body doesn’t protect pregnancy from my immune system) my Chicago tests showed I have high killer cells. I don’t know if it’s all that or the fact the embryo seems to be chromosomally ok ( had NACE) test.
I obviously have a long way to go but even getting past that 8-9 weeks just felt like a milestone.
I wanted to give you some hope that even when you’re on your knees with the odds stacked against you - it really does just take that one egg and sperm to change things.

Also been on 6x cyclogest a day!

Hi sunshine @Jigglywobbly - so so nice to hear! 14 weeks! Hurrah!

Hi @Jigglywobbly wow, that's amazing that it was an IUI which worked in the end... the odds of that must be crazy.

14 weeks is a really strong place to be, congratulations it must have felt like a relief to get past the 8-9 weeks and then the 12 weeks stage. It sounds like you've had a lot of tests and a lot of meds but it has paid off!

I had a fresh round last year, failed 5AA fresh transfer and put a 4BB in the freezer. Did another fresh round this year (freeze all due to OHSS risks) and got 5 good blasts which all felt quite hopeful, but then it was a failed 5AA FET. I'm having my next transfer on Sunday and hoping for the best that there's a better outcome this time. I'm having a low dose of clexane this time but that's it apart from progesterone pessaries.

You never know until you know do you... that's the agony and hope of IVF. Hope all goes smoothly with the rest of your pregnancy :)

Thanks both. I seem to be okay at getting pregnant just not sustaining a pregnancy. I’ve not tried a FET yet, and didn’t realise that there can be implantation issues. I was talking about my FET with my clinic , ARGC, they said I would need to do ERA and a hystereoscopy is advised before it too with scratch. So even though I seem to get pregnant okay they still wanted to follow that route. I guess FET is not natural for the body , unlike iui or natural conception. I read there can be as little as a 24 hour window, somewhere else I read said 2 hours! Also with the grading, I guess that it doesn’t mean it’s chromosome normal but I’m guessing a better chance it is? If it’s not normal that may affect the implantation too.

@lucymills1234 good luck on Sunday !

Yes @lucymills1234 - good luck on Saturday. I have my FET next month and dreading it.

@Anxiousbuthopeful we speak anyway but I’ve got everything crossed for you