Unsuccessful AGAIN

[Maximoo06]

Had my third ivf FET last week and have just come on my period. Why why why is life so cruel and why isn't anything working. I don't know how much longer I can go on and my mental health is at rock bottom..... suicide seems very tempting right now

So sorry. It really is shit sometimes. I had a successful fresh transfer but two subsequent failed FET and it's a horrible feeling

I'm so sorry this cycle hasn't been successful for you. That's always so, so tough.

I'm really concerned that this has been causing you to feel suicidal. Do you feel you can keep yourself safe right now? If not, please tell someone you trust right away, or if you're on your own, please get yourself to A&E.

Even if you feel like these are just thoughts, I really want you to make a doctor's appointment as soon as possible, and let them know you've been feeling this way.

And, if you need someone to talk to, you can call the Samaritans on 116 123.

Take care. I promise, you won't always feel the intensity of feeling that you do right now.

You are absolutely not alone in feeling like this. Many of us on this board have bern through it or are going through it now.

Time does help, even if it doesn’t feel like that right not, so please don’t do anything to hurt yourself. There’s good sources of immediate help in the previous post.

@Maximoo06 I’m so sorry to hear of your unsuccessful cycle. Cry and shout if you need to. It’s OK to not be OK about this but don’t let yourself go to that dark place. Have you spoken to your partner? Call your clinic tomorrow and speak to them about counselling. I would also call your Dr first thing and get an appointment to discuss your sad thoughts. It’s an awful situation but you will get through this in time xxx

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.
We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.
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Hi @Maximoo06

Sorry not sure why post sent early.

Just wanted to send you healing thoughts. I've just had my third cycle and third BFN this morning so I understand how you feel.

Do you have a plan for any more cycles and do you have someone in RL who you can share your dark thoughts with?

Agree that life is cruel and unfair on us whose hearts are breaking because we. can't start our families. Please try to be kind to yourself.

❤️

@FingersXssd83 I'm not sure if we will continue as they were are funded rounds through the NHS I'm not sure where we would get the money from so it's something we need to think about. I can talk to people in RL but know one truly understands how hard it is to carry on with every day life. I'm sorry for your negative outcomes what do you plan to do next?

@Maximoo06 it's rubbish, feel numb. Think I'm getting too used to the disappointment. Our next steps are:

-Getting more tests done at our clinic
-Getting a second opinion
-Contacting a London clinic to see what they can offer
-Transferring our 2 frozen day 3 embies in October
-Getting a gynaecologist appointment about a lap and dye (I'm sure I have endo!)
-Possibly doing one more retrieval
-Moving on to donor embryos

As you can see I like/need a plan.

Take care of yourself ❤️

@FingersXssd83 I'm off work today and really don't feel like I'm going to be able to go back as there's 2 pregnant women there and it's already been hard enough working with them already.
Do you mind me asking what clinic you are thinking in London as that's where I am based? We have already spoke about maybe going abroad as it's cheaper but don't really know where to start. I also think there must be more tests that can be had to see why none of the embryos have implanted that aren't available on the NHS.

Bless your heart @Maximoo06 I used to work with two women - one was pregnant and the other had just had her baby and it was unbearable so I completely understand how difficult it is. I'm working from home today so in hiding I guess. I have to be in tomorrow but might need to book some time off soon.

We are with Care Mcr. I was going to call the Lister or CRGH but my DH reckons they must cook their books to get the results. Who are you with? We have also considered overseas but like you, where do you start?!

Just called the clinic to let them know my result and started crying on the phone. Think it just hit me. Especially when we said 'aww I wish all the ladies could get pregnant'. Mmm clearly not me then 😞

I'm going to look at the following tests then fuck knows. Really hate my life, it's gone to shit.

-ERA
-L1/2 bloods
-Sperm DNA fragmentation
-Hysterescopy

@FingersXssd83 oh I wish I could work from home I'm going to the doctors later to see if they can sign me off as I can't face having more breakdowns at work.... I think they all think I've lost the plot as it is. This literally is effecting all areas of my life 😪

I have just registered to attend an open evening at the lister as someone I know had ivf there and it worked 1st time. But I really think it's down to luck.

I just spoke to a clinic in Barcelona but was quite hard with the language barrier.

What do the tests do?

@FingersXssd83 sorry post to early.

I was with the nhs funding so just a local hospital and with kings for the transfer.

Oh I cried too when I spoke to the hospital today 😢

I totally understand how you feel

I had 4 failed ivf

It’s such an Emotional rollacoated

Mentally emotionally physically and in our case financially

After 4 failed , I was told to have an era

It’s a mock cycle where they take a scrape of your lining to see if they are getting the transfer day right

I had one after our 4th and the 5th worked , I took a longer dose of progynova for our fet

I don’t know if that’s the reason it worked or not

Big hugs x

@Maximoo06 clinics abroad usually have a designated translator - disnthe xlinx you spoke to not have one

@Maximoo06 probably nothing in all honesty but you never know. I'm wondering if I might have ends so may get that looked into too. Something clearly isn't right!

I think we need to start considering adoption too and today for the first time, my DH seemed more open to it, which was good.

Good luck with researching your options either in the UK or Europe.

@Blondeshavemorefun Do you mind if I ask whether you ever had a chemical or whether they were all full on BFNs, how old you were throughout your treatments and what your infertility was caused by? Just trying to cling onto some hope!

x

No never ever had a bfp in 10yrs ttc

I was think 39 first ivf

5th I was 43 just tho was a fet from our 3rd cycle when I was 42

Unexplained infertility. I should have got preg but I didn’t - had a hyscoospy via nhs under general as couldn’t insert tube , and she said my cervix was shut and they did a dilation

Tho when I had ex both times in uk the pain was awful that I think it shut again

When we went abroad for 3rd Cycle - much cheaper thats why we went

I had a mock transfer and man found my cervix was shut like a clam

So I had cervical dilation again

Tho I was told as I had normal periods if blood get get down then sperm can get up

So who knows why I didn’t get preg - just told unexplained

Bless you

It consumes every bit of your life. I remember that feeling all too well.

We had years of treatment including ivf and 4 failed pregnancies before my son finally came along.

Don't give up. X

I'm so so sorry.
A friend of mine tried for 10 years, naturally, and then with IVF.
In the end she went to Prague for IVF, and she said the process is slightly different and seems to be more successful (apologies i don't know the full details).
They have a baby now from that treatment xx

Thanks everyone for your kind replies, I'm feeling slightly more positive today after researching into a lot of stuff.

Does anybody have any recommendations for ivf abroad have heard a lot about Reprofit, serum in Athens but seems to be a bit more expensive also spoke to Barcelonaivf today but don't know if they fully understood me due to language as they haven't emailed me the info they said they would?

@Maximoo06 I went to Madrid ivi. Own same translator every time I went and she replied to all email queries /phone calls as well

I’ve heard good things about Prague , tho the two ladies I know both had de, some obv a lot younger /fertile - but both fell preg first time in Prague

@Blondeshavemorefun did yours work first time in Madrid?

What's de? And what was the clinic called in Prague?

Sorry for all the questions x

De is donor eggs

@Smidge001 oh thank you

No 3rd time

We had 2 cycles in uk. No eggs to freeze

Higher dose of drugs in Madrid and imo better technology and freezing techniques meant that tho our first cycle in Madrid - 3rd in all failed , that I had eggs /embryos to freeze

And 2nd fet so 5th go in all , 3rd in Madrid was our first ever and only bfp

I did use my own eggs as was always told for my age I had excellent amh and fsh tho we always said it all frozen ones failed we would have one more try and use de

Not sure if clinic. All I know was Prague but I can ask my friends

I think one is called reprofit