Bfn and baby bombed, happy fucking new year

[Catren]

I'm so angry. And sad. And sorry for myself. Ttc #2 for almost 3 years, countless cps, one ivf cycle, 2 failed transfers. Losing hope.

I'm in the second of two 'break' months, while i had immune testing done, which were borderline so still no reason why the embryos won't stick.

10dpo this morning, new year's day, and got my (obviously expected) bfn. Then moments later dh tells me his mates wife is pregnant with their second. We were struggling when they announced their first, and we'll likely still be struggling when they deliver their second. I'm so fucking over this grief. And wish I could have had a few more hours of 2019 before being (second) baby bombed.

This is all so shit. Thanks for listening x

It's awful isn't it :( I feel for you I really do. I had 2 second trimester miscarriages in 2018, the last one was due the same day as two of my best friends are due. Which is 2 weeks after both my SILs are due. I am surrounded by pregnant women and soon to be surrounded by babies.
And I hate myself for feeling jealous and angry but it is so depressing.
Not much advice I can off you but a huge hand hold and here's hoping 2019 is the year for your BFP xxx

So sorry for you both, I too have been through this though thankfully got my miracle eventually. 3rd IVF, following IUI and miscarriages so I have some understanding. I really hope that 2019 is a successful year for you

Thanks guys. So sorry for your difficult times too 💐

I can't help but see 2019 as a harder road than 2018, which was full of active treatment and hope. Now we have 3 frosties to burn through over the next few months, then not sure what's next. Just can't see this happening for us.

What does burning through a frostie mean?

Transferring frozen embryos, having them each fail.

Well, that's what i'm calling it! It's not a thing as far as i know 😂

I feel for you too. This has happened to me recently too. We've been the for five years and in that time one of my closest friends had her first just as my first fertility treatment failed, and then has just told me she is having #2 as we've decided to take a much needed break.

So many people around me are pregnant at the moment. We started trying in our mid 20s because we knew there might be difficulties for us, but now we're in our 30s lots of friends are falling pregnant for the first (or second!) Time very easily.

I'm so sorry. It's so hard this time of year especially when friends are getting their good news and you aren't.

I remember my best friend announcing her pregnancy on the Christmas eve after one of my many miscarriages. DH and I held it together in front of them and then sobbed all the way home. It was a fucking miserable Christmas

We did eventually get a bfp that stuck after 8 years ttc, but I always remember that winter as the lowest point in our journey

Sending you all the luck I can summon for 2019

Hey @Catren I'm sorry the new year has started this way for you, I understand how you feel though, my last frozen transfer OTD was yesterday and was my 3rd negative so 2019 brings a fresh cycle for us. No idea why 3 "textbook" 5day blasts would fail when I have no known issues, and although I'm waiting for a consultant apt now to plan the next cycle, I'm sure he won't be able to tell me why either. I hope 2019 brings us the baby we're so hopeful for xx

Thanks still and sorry this transfer didn't work out. The lack of a reason is infuriating. Wishing you ALL the best in 2019.

Sorry to hear this, you are not alone, we tried for 5 years for dd and thank god we got her but have been trying for 3.5 years since dd born with failed ivf with two transfers, no Frosties left, natural pregnancy and miscarriage at 13 weeks, friend who lives very close is pregnant and due when our baby would have been next year, loft full of baby stuff, thinking of giving up actively trying myself as all too hard and getting old body would find it hard now I think am 39 next spring. Hugs xxx

Also I have had textbook balsts and a perfect early scan on the miscarried baby, had chromosomes tested which cost over £1k just to be told by another consultant they would not have recommended them, think 10% chance of ivf not worth it as I do not handle it well and have lots on, the miscarriage was the final straw I was so positive it would finally work out especially as the scan was so good making miscarriage rates really low, I got everything and had to send it all back was heartbreaking, happy new year to all xxx

This time of year is the worst. I'm so glad Christmas is over! Nearly 3 years ttc #1 for us now. 2018 was awful: horrible time on clomid at the start of the year, emergency surgery that resulted in the loss of an ovary and tube, then IVF in September one fresh transfer and one frozen transfer, both BFNs. We are both struggling with it all as we watch all our friends / siblings / cousins have first, second, even third babies and it feels like we will never get there. Just so fed up with living this life! And yep I've seen a pregnancy announcement today along with so many posts about how amazing 2018 was for people with their new babies. It's so hard to feel positive about the future when every year since we started trying has been worst than the last. Hugs to everyone going through this, it's shit.

I’m so sorry. I hope 2019 brings you a successful FET. It’s just bloody shit

Hi Catren, I’m so sorry you’re struggling. You’re not on your own though. Even though I’m sure you feel like it! I’ve been ttc for 4 years now. No real reason why. Currently doing first IVF round. My best friend knows where I’m at in my journey as she’s been constantly asking. Turns out she’s been pregnant all along. Not only did she tell me in a restaurant she proceeds to complain about her symptoms. I’m not sure why she couldn’t have just waited for a couple of weeks until I finished all these horrific hormone meds. It’s so difficult to be happy for people when they can be so inconsiderate. I’m wishing you all the best for the future. Make sure you know that the way you’re feeling isn’t unreasonable and make sure you find someone you can offload to xx

sorry love, infertility is shit :(

Hi @Catren

So sorry the start to the New Year has been to cruel to you. I can empathise with how gut wrenching it feels to be faced with the announcement of a friend having their second baby in the time you've been trying for yours, it's just awful when I found out my friend was having her second baby in the time we had been trying for ours I just wanted to disappear and I necked a bottle of wine to myself that night

No advice other than to keep your chin up, sending you hugs and hope that you'll be getting your happy ending soon xx

I think there needs to be a warning on all pregnancy tests
"DO NOT TELL A FRIEND WHO IS STRUGGLING TO CONCEIVE FACE TO FACE"
A lovely friend who knows all about our issues told me last night she's pregnant. I know she meant well by telling me before other friends but that was a hard dinner to get through without crying.

Appointment with the clinic tomorrow. Maybe this will be our year...

Hey thanks all for your messages everyone. Someone wasn't in a good place on Jan 1st! Feeling a bit more positive at the moment, not optimistic (jesus no!) but not assuming it's all going to fail.

Fizzy i think you're onto something. I had a friend who knew of our struggles tell me she's pregnant (while she had a 1yo, so straight away) face to face, and complain that she's "ALWAYS pregnant".. errr ok, poor you? Seriously people.

I got baby bombed at slimming world tonight :( had to grin and bear it but cried when I got home. It's so hard.

Doesn't look like a mn user? Weird.

Hi all, thanks for all your support last month, it was a toughie.

My update is that it looks like my third transfer has worked. I can't really believe it, and we're not out of the woods yet, but it's a first step.

Best of luck to those still ttc and struggling, sending you the strength to get through it.