Was anyone convinced their IVF would never work?
RedPandaFluff · 14/11/2018 21:25
I'm curious to know whether any of you were absolutely convinced that your IVF attempts would never work, but then one did and you got your precious baby after all?
I've felt in my bones for years that I'll never have children and now, during cycle 3, I'm more convinced than ever that no matter how often we try and how much money we spend doing so, we're destined not to be parents.
Have any of you felt the same, and then gone on to become pregnant?
WaverleyOwl · 14/11/2018 21:38
First cycle, 7 eggs collected, 5 fertilised, 2 transferred, one baby. Felt bloody lucky and have an 8 yr old to thank for it.
Second cycle. 7 eggs collected, only one fertilised. All doom and gloom when the embryologist called me the next day. It was a a good grade of embryo, though, so they suggested transferring after 2 days because, to paraphrase, better in than out.
I held out little hope, and I now have a 6 year old that argues with me and lives in a unicorn rainbow onesie.
I don't know if that helps, but definitely in the second cycle I was convinced that it was all crap. I started out with only one ovary as well, so felt like I was on the back foot to start with.
Amummyatlast · 14/11/2018 21:56
After my first go (0/25 eggs fertilised) I was willing to give up then and there. I felt awful as a result of the drugs and there seemed to be no point. I only agreed to do it again to make DH happy (he didn’t pressure me in any way, but I knew he wanted to continue). Thank god I did. DD is asleep upstairs.
windy2909 · 14/11/2018 22:36
Hi there, I absolutely felt like this and it was really hard as everyone always tells you to stay positive.
I felt I was met with hurdle after hurdle. We began the process in February and had a smallish number of eggs collected, despite being over stimulated, and was told there would be no fresh transfer....only a freeze all of there were any suitable for freezing. Luckily we got 2 blasts out of only 6 eggs (only 3 fertilised).
Fast forward to June and first fet.....cancelled as they could not insert catheter into womb and referred for an operation on nhs. Our little embryo had to be re-frozen.
I finally had op and transfer last month and just kept wondering why I ever signed up for 3 rounds (access fertility), as I didn’t see it working and couldn’t face putting myself through it time and time again.
I was due beta 5th November and decided to test the Friday beforehand, as I’d have af like cramps in the days leading up to af due on sat. I was so convinced I was out and only wanted to confirm it so that I could drown my sorrows in a bottle of wine....but I got my first ever bfp after almost 3 years of ttc.
Sorry for the long post! It’s very early days for me but just wanted to share my experience to give you some hope. Wishing you all the best x
Chocolatecake12 · 14/11/2018 22:43
Sometimes I think we are so used to disappointment that we don’t dare to hope knowing that it could all be in vain. Like self preservation I guess.
My icsi baby is now 16. First round of icsi worked for me. After that though I wasn’t so lucky with 2 further rounds and a fet. I somehow knew they weren’t going to work.
Sometimes our instinct is bang on, other times way off.
I’m sending you lots of luck for your future however it turns out. Have hope x
LipstickTraces · 14/11/2018 23:08
I had egg donor ivf in January. I had two embryos put back, mainly because I was utterly convinced it wasn’t going to work anyway.
I’ve now got 12 week old twins.
cannonball8726 · 14/11/2018 23:12
This whole infertility thing is such a crushing experience so my expectations from IVF were really low - and we did the sums in anticipation of multiple cycles. We got lucky - I'm 19 weeks pregnant and very grateful. But I am constantly expecting things to all go badly wrong and I think IVF and infertility have helped to cultivate this anxious and negative mindset. It's really hard to shake off.
@windy2909 I remember you from the June thread. I'm so glad to hear your news. Congratulations xxx
danni0509 · 15/11/2018 00:00
I had IVF for years, I had ectopic pregnancies and miscarriages and lost both of my Fallopian tubes in the end so couldn't conceive naturally & had to have IVF.
It was a rough old road to get the end result but I have a 5 year old now.
I often think how bloody lucky I am for IVF to have been invented & for it to have worked for us & will be forever grateful for that.
My son was beside me playing a few months ago and I was just watching him thinking to myself about how he was made. blows my actual mind the science of it
physicskate · 15/11/2018 07:34
I cried down the phone to my mum and sister on the other side of the world on 4dp5dt. Convinced it was all going wrong. Bfp 5dp5dt. Currently 24 weeks pregnant (not an easy pregnancy so far, but feel so so grateful and blessed).
RedPandaFluff · 15/11/2018 09:11
It's reassuring to read your stories - thank you all very much for taking the time to reply.
I hope my instinct is wrong and I come on here to reassure an anxious woman one day . . . I think I'm just tired, an unexpected failure (I thought my first cycle worked) and then a chemical pregnancy affected me quite badly so maybe we started again too soon. But sometimes it feels like time not trying is time wasted.
I just need to shake these feelings of pointlessness.
Lauren83 · 15/11/2018 11:02
I never thought mine would
IVF #1 own egg failed
IVF #2 own egg cancelled
IVF #3 donor egg failed
IVF #4 donor egg miscarriage
IVF #5 donor egg DS born in Jan
hoping2018 · 15/11/2018 18:45
Completely convinced I would never be pregnant!!
Despite 14 fertilised embryos on cycle one - NONE were good quality by day 5. Had two blasts - one transferred anyway and other not good enough to freeze. We were told chance of success WITH Ivf was 5-10% and we were absolutely beside ourselves. But.... they learn a lot with each cycle - and second time we took lots of supplement and surgically removed DH sperm to try and overcome a borderline dna fragmentation (clutching at straws!) and I'm now 29/40 from cycle 2 with two in the freezer!
Don't lose hope!! Best of luck xx
windy2909 · 15/11/2018 19:19
@cannonball8726 - thank you so much! Huge congrats to you too and I hope you are doing well. I remember you too.... you were always very considerate of others! Take care and all the best xxx
Blondeshavemorefun · 16/11/2018 22:44
Yes after 4 failed cycles using own eggs and £25K as all private as df has older kids in 20’s
Has been good with no drinking and eating heathily etc and all failed
But we had some frozen so said we would use them and then if failed one last attempt with with de once saved money as then time wasn’t such a limit
ANyway we did cycle 5 a fet from cycle 3. We had been on holiday so had been drinking and eating eating bad food etc
THat was the one cycle that worked - the first and only bfp I had had in 10yrs ttc
Tho I did have 2 era inbetween which said I needed more hormones so had longer time on progynova
Dudewheresmybaby · 17/11/2018 08:16
Reading these stories is nice - I'm on my fourth cycle, have never seen a BFP and have totally lost hope 😞 But maybe...
AliceScarlett · 17/11/2018 08:24
I always knew I was infertile, no one believed me. I knew it in my bones. 39 cycles later I'm being proved right. Logic says don't be silly of course your frontal lobes can't predict the future...but it's hard when it's so cemented, the success rates are low and time ticks on.
Sorry probably not a helpful response from me here.
Dudewheresmybaby · 17/11/2018 08:30
Sorry should clarify that I meant 4th fresh IVF cycle, not 4th cycle in total! Lost count of those ☹️
danni0509 · 17/11/2018 10:58
AliceScarlett 39 cycles how many clinics have you used? do you mind me asking your age?
danni0509 · 17/11/2018 11:00
Alice I knew a lady called Lou met during my own ivf, I'm not sure how many cycles she had but it was over 10 and she had to remortgage her house to fund it etc, but she used donor eggs in the end and had ended with triplets x
Birdsupinthesky · 17/11/2018 12:32
It can be easy to confuse 'instinct' with 'fear'. Nice article about it here:
Birdsupinthesky · 17/11/2018 12:37
But yes, to answer your question, I'm convinced it's not going to work too. I think it's my brain's way of managing my expectations and protecting myself from crushing disappointment.
(But I guess I can't be that convinced or I wouldn't be spending thousands of pounds and putting my body through this trauma and stress!)
hoping2018 · 17/11/2018 15:36
@danni0509 @AliceScarlett I read that as 39 natural cycles rather than ivf! I expect it would be very unethical for any clinician to let you out your body through 39 cycles of ivf!
LillyLeaf · 17/11/2018 16:07
I think must people going through this have thoughts that it might never work. I been calling my first IVF attempt a 'practice' just to protect myself and not allow myself to be too hopefully, but I know I'll be crushed if it doesn't work.
Didthatreallyhappen2 · 17/11/2018 16:31
3 cycles. 3rd (and final - ran out of money, couldn't face it any more, had spent 8 years on the treadmill) worked. DD now a teenager. I still, even now, get a huge kick out of saying "My DD". We are so very, very lucky.
Bonkersblond · 17/11/2018 16:44
2nd IVF attempt only 2 eggs fertilised, both transferred, so convinced it had failed I tested at 4am after the 2weeks to get the bad news over and done with, now have a DS and 3 years later conceived DD naturally when I was 42. 6 years to achieve DS.
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.