45, ttc, desperate

[FlamingoPip]

I am 45. Met DH late.

Fell pregnant age 44 (just turned) and had a missed miscarriage at 8 weeks (July 2017). Pregnant again Dec 2017 and miscarried in Jan 2018 at around 8 weeks.

Been trying again since then (Feb 2018) to fall pregnant but no luck.

I have had tests which are good for my age. AMH - 6.2, FSH 5.3. But only three follicles when scanned. Number of follicles apparently doesn't fit with AMH and FS level...

I am too old for IVF - very low chance of it working.

Doc said I have better chance of conceiving naturally ("10-15% chance" due to recent-ish pregnancy) - figures plucked out of thin air if you ask me.

Feel ridiculous that when I was younger I had no clue about fertility. Even when started trying didn't really know about ovulation and best times to ttc. Now I am a walking fertility encyclopaedia but I fear it's all too late. So full of regrets.

Just got my period and am again devastated. Will I ever get pregnant and have a baby? The ONLY thing I want.

Hi all, been reading all your replies and appreciate all of them. Will reply a bit more after the weekend (loads of visitors currently). And I've ordered the egg book!

Could you maybe begin looking into adoption whilst you try other avenues of TTC?

Please don’t suggest this. It may be well intentioned, but this is one of the most cliched and unhelpful comments everyone with infertility hears time and time again. As an aside, no you can’t look into adoption to any meaningful level while TTC. For fairly obvious reasons, one of the prerequisites for adoption is that you’re not trying to conceive as well.

Hi OP I'm 40 had my first baby at 39 feel pregnant naturally at 38. We had been ttc for 7 years had two failed ivfs and three miscarriages- we were gearing up for ivf number 3 when I fell pregnant naturally. I think the 'It Starts with the Egg' book has been recommended pleas get it - it has a vitamin regimen at the back tailored to age. I started this and also reviewed our ivf cycles as we were unexplained- the consultant said we had less than 10% chance of success due to my eggs/age and we went for a second opinion I was trying to get my head around the possibility of donor eggs. Second consultant was amazing we found the clinic looking at the success rates for women of my age. He recommended a few more supplements which I started in the Jan due to start the ivf in March and found I was pregnant just before. Feel free to DM me if you want the clinic details etc. Although I'm not wildly optimistic I am currently ttc number 2 naturally I am again following the vitamin regime from the clinic and book as well as SMEP - I've set an age limit to stop trying naturally but DH and I have also agreed not to do ivf again. As hard as it is ttc don't give up on the rest of your life DH and I decided that we would book things and go and do things instead of always having life on pause thinking what if - I think that helped us through it. Good luck OP

@twinkledag
So sorry to hear it's an ongoing struggle. Memories of those days make me shudder; awful stress and sadness that can't be understood or shared easily. Hope you get your outcome.

My aunt conceived naturally at 46. Best friend had IVF then twins when she was 48. She went to the Lister, but I've also heard good things about women who went abroad for IVF then conceived.

Back home its not unusual at all to see women who've had children in their mid-40s.

Good luck and best wishes to you OP, hope you get your heart's desire

@resipsa - it's the pits, I won't lie to you

Hi DeeCee, thanks for your comment. Where is 'back home' out of interest? Did your best friend conceive naturally in the end? x

Thanks MommyBear. Yes, would appreciate the clinic's details - thanks. I am older than you, though :-( I'm awaiting the Egg book (due tomorrow)...

Thanks again to all who have responded with advice and things to try.

@Repsipa - thanks for offer of advice - I may DM you :-)

@MaybeDoctor - my heart goes out to you. I'm struggling at the moment so understand. Glad things have improved a bit for you.

@GeluksVogel I was told that I had more chance of conceiving naturally than with IVF due to age and it wasn't recommended for that reason. The doc didn't mention PGS. Wasn't a great consultation to be honest (and expensive!). Would like a second opinion.

Thanks to everyone I haven't responded to by name... all comments/advice read and appreciated! Sorry to all those going through a difficult time... and thanks also for the positive outcome stories x

Flamingo Pip

Caribbean. Your post made me realise there are a good number of 'had baby at 45+' women back home, normal really so I don't tend to think about it.

Yes she did conceive naturally, had 3 rounds of IVF that failed (years ago) but also had Endometriosis + a tilted uterus, which I'm guessing made things alot more difficult. Still happened naturally in the end tho. Miracle.

She's 55 now with an almost 8 year old aka knackered, but happy. Fingers crossed it'll be the same way for you

At least you know there are some positive stories out there, so you can be hopeful💐