Can't test husband's sperm as he won't...

[happyhere1]

Hi there! I am 30, my husband is 37 years old and we have been trying to conceive for the last 2 years with no luck. We already been to our GP and I have done the blood tests which all had good results. When it comes to testing my husband semen, we have a huge problem: he can't masturbate! So we thought okay, we could at least have intercourse at home, take the sperm to the hospital but that didn't work either as he feels under so much pressure. We are both feeling very sad and not sure what are we supposed to do. Should I just go get my tubes checked? What else can I do? What is next? Please help. Thanks!

OP, are you sure he wants a child?

I'm pretty sure you wont be able to get any treatment, private or otherwise until he's been checked. Agree with pp - sounds like he is perhaps not on board as much as you think?

Think it's important he does his bit. Are you sure he's being totally honest with you?

Would he let you do it?

@happyhere1 first all id like to say its very common for men to not to be able to perform under pressure secondly i dnt know if i could sooo glad im a woman. When you say yous had sex did u try basically masturbating him into the container? Would he feel better or worse doing it in a room in the hospital im quite sure theyr used to guys taking a while to get there lets face its not the sexiest of situations..

Sorry but I completely disagree with the other posters my OH felt a horrible amount of pressure when he knew he was going to have to do it. He done it but i did think at time rather u than me lol

Oh, he definitely wants it. He is the one that insists and panicking as he thinks he is getting older.

There is a method where they use a needle in the ballsack to extract sperm.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Testicularspermm_extraction

I had to look it up because I wasn't sure it was the same name in English.

Thanks so much for your fast responses. Sorry, I am new here and not sure how to reply one by one but here is a few;

• I am %100 sure he is being honest as I know him very well. He doesn't masturbate, even if he was to do it with my help, he probably wouldn't be able to ejeculate as the pressure gets to him so much and it feels forceful :(

-Otherwise we do our part in the bedroom every month when I am ovulating, just doesn't seem to work.

• He really wants kids, more than I do and that is why I signed up here as I can see that he is suffering about it. Really sad everytime I get my period :(

• We also started acupuncture 2 months ago, no luck yet.

@happyhere1 id say go ahead with ur investigations dnt let this hold up things. But what do u mean he cant masturbate dnt worry about being tmi im very thick skinned lol do u mean he never does or he cant do it knowing he has to do it within a certain time frame to get it to the hospital? If its the latter id say tel him to watch some porn c if that works while u go out somewhere makes things less awkward?

Stiff drink or four. Blow job/sex. Finish off with hand job into container.

I don’t think your title is right-he can’t rather than won’t.

Some posters above seem to think infertility doesn’t affect men.

Op have you both had any counselling? It’s really hard.

I’d discuss what’s happening with your doctor and see what they recommend. This won’t be the first time that this situation has arisen.

@happyhere1 to respond to ppl individually u just put @ at the beginning of their name then they get a notification saying theyv been mentioned in a post 👍

@PurpleDaises exactly sum ppl seem to think men should want sex 24/7 and its not the case they can feel stressed out too..as u said id think this is quite common occurance

I had to check that this had been posted in infertility and not AIBU.

Op the response you’re getting isn’t typical of this board. Normally there’s a lot more empathy.

@thisisouryrfx18 I mean he says that he has never done it in his life and thinks its silly and also says that porn doesn't work for him as it looks fake.

@CaMePlaitPas @Kintan @IKEAmeatba11s @thisisouryrfx18 Thanks and please see my reply above

@PurpleDaisies Thanks for your support. Maybe I didn't give enough details as well :)

Buy a golden condom and recreate that scene from Pretty woman! Once he's ejaculated into the condom, grab the sample!

@Gottokondo oh I will look it up now, thanks a lot!

@PurpleDaises i was thinking the exact same thing aibu is normally where the insensitive responses are! @happyhere1 it is very unusual for someone his age male or female to have never masturbated but heh each to their own..i agree talk to the docs about it there must b some way around it he wnt b the first guy to have had this problem..gd luck hun

In the meantime id tell him to try masturbating he MIGHT get used to it maybe..

Thanks, I surely can ask him to try again with masturbating but the main thing is 'the pressure' as he won't stay up. He really wants this (a bit too much) so he even took time off work a few times, came home but didn't happen (felt too forceful) and he almost burst in tears. Otherwise our sex life is just fine. Listen, I just want to apologize as I think maybe I wasn't being clear in my main post; I am really not doubting my husband or wanting to force him to do something he isn't comfortable with. I just really wanna know what can I do, should i get anything else tested with myself as all I have done so far was the blood tests. Everyone seem so experienced on here so I would really appreciate it if you could help a clueless case, like me :)

@happyhere1 my heart goes out to him it is as i said a common prob the more pressure he puts himself under the worse it will get its a tough problem..

@thisisouryrfx18 Thanks so much, me too. It feels like an impossible situation :(