TTC for 18 months or more. Moving onto IUI/IVF/ICSI -part 2

[bluebird3]

We have relocated from the conception board where we were previously chatting under the thread 'ttc for 10 months or more'. A lot of us are now long term ttc-ers and are going through infertility treatment or looking to take steps in this direction so we feel this might be a more suitable home for us!

Feel free to stop by and say hi and hopefully we can share the journey together and make it a little easier along the way!

My drug delivery is arranged too... coming on Thursday. Last time a HUGE box arrived and it totally freaked me out. Thankfully I know what to expect now and realise most of that is ice packs and a cool box!

Exciting maple, you're almost there!

Geeup, how you feeling? Not sure I've congratulated you yet on being pupo! Hoping you can chill out over the next two weeks.

Shary, really pleased you got good results from the hycosy, but so sorry to hear it hurt so much. I haven't had my tubes checked at all , so no experience I'm afraid but I see you've got some responses on your other post. I did wonder if your cervix is closed during your fertile window then that might make you a good candidate for IUI, which is less invasive than ivf. Anyway, all to discuss at your consultation I guess. When's your next appointment?

Hope everyone else is doing well. I started acupuncture last week, mostly to help me relax and that's going well.

Just I don't organise any of mine, they're all in the brown bag tucked away! I get what you mean about the control thing though! I only have one that goes in the fridge!

Shary oh that sounds awful when I had mine they warned me about spasms in the tubes but I don't think not being able to get the catheter through is uncommon. If you started a thread I hope you got some reassurance from others??

Star not long to wait for you either! How are you feeling about it this time round?

Hi everyone. Been away for awhile. Where are you all up to? Hope everyone is ok.

Morning everyone. Just wanted to update you all that I'm back on the IVF trail. After finding a heartbeat at 8 weeks, I went for a reassurance scan at 9 weeks and the baby's heart had stopped a few days before. Went for another scan yesterday just for my own peace of mind that there definitely wasn't any hope and am booked in for 'surgical management' next Thursday.

I am obviously heartbroken and have had to had a fair few walks at work when I've felt it all becoming too much but I'm feeling a bit better now and ready for Thursday and then trying again. I've got two frozen embies so I guess that's the next logical step (after loads of testing which will take months as that was my third miscarriage)

Glad to see everyone else is doing ok and really pleased it all went well for you Gee - congrats on being PUPO!!!

Thanks so much tea but I'm so sorry to hear your news. It must be incredibly difficult and I'm so sad for you. You're a strong lady and your PMA is inspiring. Will be thinking of you.

Oh tea no! I'm so sorry. It's so unfair. Hopefully Thursday comes and goes for you the best it can.

Oh my goodness tea, I am so shocked and sorry to hear this. What a cruel outcome and after a positive 8 week scan as well, I'm so sorry. It seems there are no guarantees in this rotten game Sounds like you are picking yourself up though. I really hope you get some answers from the recurrent miscarriage testing. Thinking of you

So sorry tea

I'm out. Had a tiny bit of pink when I wiped last night and woken up to dark red AF and my normal period cramps - today is only 6dp5dt. Not even the cyclogest can keep her away. I'm still 5 days away from even OTD. Feel numb.

So sorry to hear gee - was really hoping for everything to go well for you . Infertility is so shit and we all have to go through so much heartbreak. It's a small consolation to me that I have a frozen embryo to use next so perhaps, in a while, that will be some sort of positive for you? Treat yourself today and take the time you need xx

Oh gee I'm gutted for you, I'm so so sorry

Oh gee I'm so sorry. It's awful. Take time to grieve.

So sorry to those of you who haven't had good news.

Thanks also for the welcome. DP and I tried again last night but didn't get anywhere. When we first started trying, he could get an erection, then half way through he would need to sort himself out and I'd hop on at the right moment (sorry if that's TMI). The last two months he hasn't even been able to get enough of an erection to attempt sex.

I'm finding it so tough. I have to reassure him that it doesn't matter when actually it does. Plus there's the effect on my self-esteem that maybe it's because he doesn't find me attractive. And the thought of the rest of my life in a sexless relationship. I made a comment last night, nothing nasty but mentioned that it seems to be getting worse. I didn't mean anything by it and explained it was because I was worried (I'm also trying to gently introduce the idea that we need help) but it didn't go down well.

vox that sounds so hard. Since ttc there's been a couple of times my dh hasn't been able to perform and I know how difficult I found that. And it does knock your self esteem. But it shouldn't! It's sounds like your dp has a real problem and he needs to get some help. Maybe try to bring it up again at a less sensitive time and just be honest with him that it needs to be looked into. Whether it's medical or psychological it's probably not going to resolve itself on its own as long as he knows you are ttc. The pressure will always be there no matter what you do or say. Hope you guys can find a way forward.

Tea im so sorry to hear your news and I'm sorry for your loss I know no amount of words can make you feel "better" but we are thinking of you and sending hugs your way.

Same for you too Gee, so gutted to hear your news - please look after yourself and take the time to scream shout and cry.

Vox it sounds like such a struggle and although I sympathise with your DH it must be frustrating for you too. I hope you get to speak to him and approach the subject about seeing someone. Does he initiate sex? Like blue says I hope you find a way forward as a team.

Thanks for all the well wishes and support. I've certainly learnt how strong and resilient I can be when I need to!

I'm planning on taking a leaf out of blue's book and stepping away from actively ttc / thinking about all this, joining a gym and just enjoying life for the next few months until my appointment. Easier said than done I know!!

Vox I'm sorry you're having such a rubbish time of it all. I agree with others that you need to talk to DH about it/seek help as it's not something that will go away on its own (I don't think). I do hope you can get it sorted

Tea There are no words I'm sorry for your loss and Gee Im sorry to hear AF arrived. . Its horrible news and i hope that you are both doing ok. We are here if you need a shoulder.

We actually had a chat about it last night. I had decided to wait a couple of weeks before trying to bring it up as it seems less pressured when its not in my supposedly fertile week but DP brought it up. We were going to try again, but he eventually admitted he didn't want to start something he knew he couldn't finish. I think it was possibly me highlighting that it was getting worse the night before.

He told me that regular masturbation helps his performance (I have no issue with this) but where he's been unwell recently (he had that horrible virus that was doing the rounds at Christmas and is only just getting back to normal) he hasn't been doing it and he thinks that's why it is getting worse.

He did also admit to getting stressed at work - not stressed in an 'ill' way but both of us have very demanding careers that are hard to switch off from, although we love our jobs.

I also managed to mention that if it hadn't happened by the time we get back from our summer holiday we should consider our options (I didn't mention the word doctor - small steps!).

The chat hasn't really gone any way to solving the issues, but I went to sleep feeling slightly less alone.

tea I'm so sorry :( I hope you are as okay as you can be, and that you get through Thursday as well as can be. That is positive you have two frozen and I admire your strength and ability to focus on this next step.

gee I'm so so sorry it didn't work this time, you must be heartbroken too. I'm thinking of you and sending you strength. I hope you and your DH are looking after each other.

That's great you are talking about it vox. I'm not sure how you or he would feel about it, but have you tried watching porn whilst having sex? It might be a distraction from the performance element and help to get him there.

Sounds like a step in the right direction vox, softly softly catchy monkey and all that

Drugs arrived

Hi ladies, sorry I haven't been on for a while... I've been reading but can't post on my phone because of password issues.
gee I'm so so sorry this cycle didn't work. 11dpo is really early to start bleeding. When you have your appointment maybe you could ask about that and whether you need more progesterone? I've read on here about women who don't absorb progesterone through the pessaries. I don't know, just something to think about. Gutted for you, but you're right - you can't cry forever and great to look forward and make plan.

tea, hope you have a relaxing few months away from ttc. It's a horrible journey, so great to get off it for a while. I felt so amazing the month before IVF cos we couldn't try, it was so liberating!

looks like you're making a little progress vox - best of luck to you and your dh.

Thanks for the tip star. Will definitely ask when we go in. Called the clinic with OTD results and they're going to call next week to confirm if we have to use my frostie next or if we can go straight to another fresh cycle. Either way should be going good again in early may.

When do you start your drugs just?

Sorry about the - results gee. Glad you have a plan going forward. We're starting our next round end of May/beginning of June depending on when AF arrives. Won't be long now.

vox glad you've had a good chat about it. I'm sure it's really hard for your dp. And you as well.

tea I've felt better taking a step back. Doesn't do me any good reading loads of infertility threads and googling constantly. I'm better sitting in and out of here and the rest do the time trying g to just live my life.

Hi all. I've been crap for posting but have been following all of your journeys. Hope you're all holding up ok.
I had my second IUI today (first one failed). This one feels very different. Rather than one 23mm follicle which I had last time, I had 4 this time, on the same dosage! Two 17mms, a 16mm and a 14mm. They aspirated the 16 and 14. It was rather uncomfortable, was so glad when it was over.
And now begins the agonising 2ww...

Good luck for the 2ww where. It's such a killer with treatment.