Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Infertility

Our Infertility Support forum is a space to connect with others in the same position, discuss causes, treatment and IVF, and share infertility stories of hope and success.

Original poster

Why is everyone else so fucking fertile? :(

32 replies

HappyAmbler · 03/02/2015 23:27

I know this is one of many threads of a similar theme, but I didn't want to hijack anyone else's.

So, another pregnancy announcement today. Since we started ttc (almost 3 years ago), all of my close friends have managed to get pregnant within 3 months (I know because they told me when they started trying).

Of course I am happy for them. I wouldn't wish infertility on my worst enemy. But it just makes me feel so fucking barren and useless, like I've failed as a woman Sad

I think 'why me and not them?' which then makes me feel like a terrible person. I can believe I've become so bitter and jealous.

Moan over. I'm sure I'll feel better in the morning. Good luck to everyone else dealing with this crap x

OP posts:
Original poster
HappyAmbler · 03/02/2015 23:31

Sorry for swearing, I'm in a really bad mood. It looks worse written down than it sounded in my head Blush

OP posts:
quietlysuggests · 04/02/2015 00:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tootsiepops · 04/02/2015 02:04

A girl I work with told me she'd been to family planning the evening before to get her implant out. Ten weeks later, she was showing off her scan pic. She must've gotten pregnant three fucking minutes after her appointment.

Another friend got pregnant during a one night stand whilst on the pill.

My cousin also got knocked up accidentally. With twins.

So, yeah - I get where you're coming from. Other friends have been pregnant / had babies in the two plus years we've been trying, but those three really stung.

BugBugBug · 04/02/2015 02:50

HappyAmbler, my heart goes out to you, I've been there and it's horrible.

Sometimes in the darker days, this blog used to make me smile and remind me I wasn't alone: here

BugBugBug · 04/02/2015 07:22

I did find being open about our struggles sometimes paved the way for conversations with people who had also struggled. Maybe they'd struggled in a different way but it was a great new source of support.

Although I appreciate its not for everyone!

Jessewalt · 04/02/2015 08:35

Your post made me smile - I totally get your frustration!
One thing of note - only people who get pregnant within 10 minutes tell you. The others, who don't tell you, are likely to have taken longer (how long who knows).
I found out when I blubbed to a friend that we we struggling, that her 2 children were the result of 5 cycles of IVF - I had never even realised!
Hang in there, keep moving forward x

gcerron · 04/02/2015 09:07

True happy just carry forward and keep positive, don't compare yourself with other cases because who knows their reality, it's easy to talk I know but the best thing that we can do is to keep positive mind before begin any ivf treatment.Good luck ??

victoria401 · 04/02/2015 09:42

Hi happyambler you started the infertility meltdown thread yes? Which I'm still crashing :-)

Sorry you are feeling this way. We are all in the same boat here and can understand and be there for each other.

We too have been ttc over 2 years now and many people in my life have had babies during that time. Its tough and horribly unfair but we need to stay strong. But its ok to have a moan and a cry about it and get it all out :-)

Good luck in your journey x

Original poster
HappyAmbler · 04/02/2015 10:36

Hi everyone

Thank you so much for your lovely replies - I didn't think my sweary, self-pitying OP would get any Smile I'm so sorry you're all going through this too. I hope it works out for all of us.

quietly - I am getting help. This may out me (hello to anyone I know reading this!) but I'm about to start my first IVF cycle.

Tootsie - I've got some similar stories Angry I mainly lurk on here, and I think I saw on another thread that you're doing IVF too? I think we're about a week apart! I'm just waiting for AF to arrive so I can have my baseline scan. I'll have my fingers crossed for you!

Bug - love the blog! Thanks for sharing Grin

Jesse - you're right, I recently found out a family member was struggling and I had no idea. But when it comes to my close friends, they all told me they were trying so the BFPs were not the first I knew about it.

gcerron - I'm trying sooo hard to stay positive, but the latest news just knocked me a bit. I feel awful for crying about my friend's happy news Sad

victoria - yes, that was me. I'm glad that a thread I started is living on, even though I was rubbish at keeping up with it Smile

As predicted last night, I do feel better this morning. Thank you all for reminding me that I'm not alone Thanks

OP posts:
Pat1ence · 04/02/2015 11:48

I could have written your post. In fact mine is one of the similar ones I think you're talking about!

It's crap. I'm having a bad week. I feel exactly the same as you. I'm not feeling better yet! It helps knowing I'm not alone so hope you get some comfort from knowing your not alone! I also feel like a terrible person. It's self perpetuating guilt, constantly!

I have absolutely no advice. I'm swinging between positivity and despair. If I have an epiphany of how to make these feelings go away, I will come back to you. BrewCake for us!

Pat1ence · 04/02/2015 11:49

*you're. I'm so infertile I can't even type properly Smile

Tootsiepops · 04/02/2015 14:51

Yes! I'm on one of the ivf threads but most of the ladies are a bit ahead of me and I think mostly approaching ET / tww. I take my last tablet on Saturday, and then wait for CD1 so I'm not far behind you at all. It's exciting and terrifying Confused

Crumbelina · 04/02/2015 21:22

I'm in the same boat - it's so bloody crap!! I read those threads about people aged 23 who haven't got pregnant by cycle 2.

Then I read threads by people moaning about the discomfort of pregnancy.

Then I read about the people who are planning for a summer/September baby.

Why do I read these??!!

Inaiya89 · 04/02/2015 22:45

I wanted to comment and join in this morning. I felt like I could never get pregnant. Came home this morning and got a BFP. I highly suggest you try pre-seed. It really works. Please dont feel so down. I know the agony of waiting and waiting. But just one day you will be able to share your story about your miracle baby.?

Crumbelina · 04/02/2015 22:56

I've been using pre-seed for 12+ months and no joy (sorry - glad it worked for you and lots of others!). Congratulations on your bfp!

Inaiya89 · 04/02/2015 23:00

Thank you very much. I know how you feel. I started shaking and crying today when i saw my bfp. It hurts me to know that so many women struggle with infertility. This morning i was so down that i started looking into IUI costs. Do you have unexplained infertility?

Littlefish · 04/02/2015 23:03

I absolutely understand your frustration. I am a teacher; my job only exists because other people are fertile. Sometimes they really are ridiculously fucking fertile!

I remember finding it almost unbearable during the 2.5 years when we were ttc dd.

Rant away!

Crumbelina · 04/02/2015 23:08

Oh gosh, that's lovely! I'd be the same if I got a bfp. I'm probably unexplained - coming up to 2 years now. Maybe a few more rounds of Clomid and then we'll think about IUI ...

Inaiya89 · 04/02/2015 23:18

How do you confirm your ovulation? by charting, opk or getting an hcg trigger?

Crumbelina · 04/02/2015 23:51

I've had a few blood tests that have confirmed ovulation, opks (always followed by AF 14-15 days later) and charting - although I'm losing the enthusiasm for these now!

CookieDough9 · 05/02/2015 01:10

I understand exactly how you feel. We were ttc for 4 years before DD came along and she is 2 now. The disappointment month after month was just awful, yet everyone around me was pregnant and some with their 2nd and 3rd babies and although I was happy for them I remember exactly how I felt at the time - why not me?
Tried all sorts of herbs, clomid, pre-seed, nothing worked. Was referred to IVF and was only offered one round on the NHS as the consultant said I didn't have much chance, what a blow! However fell pregnant naturally a couple of months ago.
Wish you lots of luck and fx your bfp is around the corner

CookieDough9 · 05/02/2015 01:12

Also this is our 1st cycle of ttc #2 and to be honest I am already very anxious about it all

naty1 · 05/02/2015 12:26

I was always most irritated by couples who had only been going out less than a yr, as not only were they pg, obviously quickly but i dont think you know someone well that quickly, then putting the pressure of a baby on the relationship.
On the other side dp and i probably delayed a bit too long at about 9yrs, though only one of our friends had kids at that point. They had all had their 1/2 already by the time we had DD. Its really frustrating having no control when /if you have kids. I wanted a autumn baby... No shes summer born and will be one of youngest. I would have liked a 2-2.5 yr age gap, after another stressful yr of 2-3 icsi's its going to be 3yrs. Amazingly lucky its worked and we could afford treatment, but a world away from 'shall we try' and a bfp the next week.

But i feel i dont take dd for granted.
Hoping you all get lucky soon.

Original poster
HappyAmbler · 06/02/2015 16:21

Hi everyone!

Pat1ence - yep, "swinging between positivity and despair" pretty much sums it up! Keep me updated on the status of any potential epiphanies Grin

Tootsie - you might catch me up! I had my baseline scan today and my lining was too thick, so I have to go in again on Monday. Oh well, no injections this w/e, yey!

Crumbelina - I stepped away from the conception board a looong time ago Grin

Inalya89 - congratulations on your BFP! Unfortunately, I've tried preseed (and various supplements, and acupuncture...)

Littlefish - urgh, I guess I'm lucky that I don't have to face that level of ridiculous fertility on a daily basis!

Cookie - I know I want more than one, and I'm already dreading the idea of going through this all over again if we do manage to conceive. Good luck x

naty1 - I cringe at how naive I was at the beginning, planning when we should start trying so the baby would arrive at a particular time - HA!

OP posts:
Jackie0 · 06/02/2015 16:38

Thankfully we've passed this stage now that everyone is getting older. I remember how painful it was.
We are bracing ourselves for grandparent announcements next.
Don't despair , you still have a good chance op.