Anyone starting IVF soon? Join me (2)

[purplemeggie]

I see we've filled up the thread and thought I'd better start another one. How's everyone doing?

Hi anroga, inconceivableme and farfalla following you all. blue hope all goes well with baseline tomorrow.

Well I travelled down to my clinic last night to see my consultant this afternoon. I was all prepared to say "let's do FET in the new year and if that doesn't work I'll do Just One More Cycle in the spring".

I was stunned to hear the clinic has had a decrease in demand and a decision has been made to close down for good at the end of March .

So it's now or never for my day 5 embryo. I need to go home and convince my GP to give me my decapeptyl Injection to downreg in 3 weeks time and then travel down for 2 scans before ET mid-late Jan.

If it doesn't work l will look at other clinics and give it one more go... It's so addictive. We don't have money to spare but we can squeeze in another try before stopping.

It's so hard all this for everyone, in every way. Xxx

Oh, Annie - as if it's not stressful enough without having deadlines imposed from outside!

....but just maybe it's fate? I'm ever the optimist xxx

Haha that's funny purple I had "oo.. it's fate" in my mind as I was being told! This optimism business will be the ruination of me .

It's quite good having the decision taken out of your hands and in the circumstances better sooner than later as they're all looking for new jobs.

How you are well xxx

hope

Okay, it was your anroga who re-mortaged the house for IVF. Got it. A few of us here now and I am getting confused. Plus my mind is not thinking straight as I go through another IVF.

I completely agree Annie about how addictive this is. I just can't imagine how I will accept and have to live my life with any other outcome so I keep going back for IVF after IVF.

blue, can totally understand you feeling nervous about your day two scan after your last scan showed less follicles. Think you are 11 hours behind me so you will be sleeping soundly now and then when you wake up, not long til you find out. Will check again tonight before bed to see if you've updated.

Well, I just came back from my day 6 scan.

Right side: 6 follicles all = or < 7mm
Left side: 2 follicles, 11mm and 9mm

Quite depressing only 8 follicles in total. And then on average only about 1/2 grow, so that equates to 4 mature follicles. I am desperately hoping that there were lots more follicles but she only counted the ones that were growing and hence all these 8 have the potential to mature. Will get a call this afternoon to say when my next scan will be. Really hope it is Friday and I can see a few more follicles so I don't have to wait the whole weekend feeling deflated... that is assuming there are more follicles at my next scan!

So so glad that you are not far behind me Blue and that we can be poor responders together so I don't feel like this is all that bad. I try to remember you and that it is all about quality over quantity. But my history of quality isn't as great as yours despite all my supplements and high protein low carb diet so I am wanting a bit of quantity too! Oh the torture of IVF begins.

Shellster I had 6 on left and 2 v little ones on right on Day 5 scan so you might be surprised and find more at your next scan. Aren't you better with fewer though quality wise? I suppose after so many ivf cycles you'll start to see patterns.

I'm working on the acceptance thing. I've been offered counselling as part of treatment package which I would love but don't ever have time to go there as well as the consultation.

I am going to explore other counselling services however as I have to admit I am not coping well on my own with this. I've become quite needy on MN and with RL friends. I don't feel strong emotionally and I know I'm getting weaker mentally. Need to build up strength for Dec-Jan.

I was all ready to ask to do another fresh cycle when the Dr dropped the bombshell that the clinic is closing down for good at the end of Feb. I'm like you as in needing to have a plan b,c,d...ghi or whatever set up so even though I should be happy I've got an embryo, in my head I'm already at the stage of FET failing and having nowhere to go next.

I told Dr Closing Down (private) that Dr Keep Praying (NHS) had suggested Ovarian Drilling as my next step if FET didn't work. Dr Closing Down said this was not something he would choose to do as he doesn't like to disturb the tissue and confirmed that i may have a mild case of polycystic ovaries but i don't have PCOS.

Sending you a big hug, Annie - sounds like you're having a miserable time all round. Be gentle on yourself - I'm sure noone sees you as needy, just as a friend going through a really tough time x

Acceptance is fickle....I think I was there 18 months ago, and then I was persuaded to try IVF and now I'm less able to give up.

I called my clinic today to talk about next steps re donor eggs and the nurse was really negative. She seemed to be trying to talk us out of using my cousin's eggs and suggested I went on their waiting list for an anonymous donor. The list is 12-18 months. I will be 43, ds will be 8. There's no way we would do that...we'd go abroad rather than that. And she was saying totally different things from the consultant about the law on donor eggs. I was really frustrated about it, but I'm a lawyer in RL, so I just need to do the research for myself rather than letting other people tell me what the law says!

Annie if it's difficult to see a counsellor perhaps you could contact Infertility Network in the meantime? They have a helpline and I know someone who calls them regularly. They provide a friendly ear and can give advice if you need it www.infertilitynetworkuk.com/support

I got started today! 4 follicles on the left and 4 on the right for my baseline scan, which I'm pleased with. Seems like I'm back to 'normal' this month. Just did my first injection of menopur, it's exciting to be back on the bus.

Sorry purple just spotted your message. Try not to be disheartened by the nurse's comments. Your situation is out of the ordinary and she'd probably you rather just followed protocol and obediently got in line! Do your own research and make your own mind up, you could always get another opinion at a different clinic if your need too.

D'oh Shellster just saw your post too. Don't let the follicle count get you down - stay positive. It's out of your control, you're already doing absolutely everything you can to make things work. Hopefully all your efforts will pay off in terms of quality, if not quantity. Fingers crossed for you.

Hi girls

Period has finally started this morning so day 1 of taking microgynon next appointment 16/12 for SIS/Pipelle.

Can't believe I have finally got started! (Even though I have a long way to go yet).

Sorry to read how down both you Annie and Purple are feeling with it all at the moment. This journey certainly is one of highs and then lows there is no doubt about that.

What can we do just try and keep strong (sure you are as bored as me of keeping tell yourself that) and keep trying.

xxxxx

Purple, I think that nurse was a bit out of her place telling you her personal opinion on how you will complete your family. I can understand her thoughts that it might cause tension down the line with an egg being from a family member instead of anonymous donor. But there is a difference between just making sure you have considered that option and her actually advising you against it! I personally feel like I will TTC number 2 until I am 40 and then the statistics are too against me to continue. And while others on here might be over 40 and doing IVF, I would point them to statistics on the chance of success if they wanted it, but I wouldn't come on here and say 'It won't work - you're wasting your money - give up..." !!!!

Blue, I was so relieved for you when I read that you are back up to a follicle count of 8. I feel like I was waiting out the last cycle with you until you could get that scan for some reassurance. So you are a week behind me then! Yes, yes, yes, somehow have to convince myself it's quality over quantity. Not to blow my own trumpet, but I have been pretty darned good with my high protein low carb diet and taking all my supplements so I certainly feed I deserve some quality. But unlike you who has done 2 IVF cycles and got blasts both times, I have done 8 with 0 blasts! So you can certainly understand my desire for a bit of quantity to up the odds of a couple of quality eggs being amongst the batch... and then they have to happen to select the best of my husbands dud sperm for it to be any good!

Alright, tomorrow morning is day 8 scan and hopefully I will be a bit calmer after that if these smaller ones have caught up and I can stop rambling away on here.

Thank you lovely ladies. I'm feeling better about it today.
I spoke to someone today who has a ds conceived with donor eggs and she was really positive about it. They went abroad, also because the waiting list was so long in this country.
But she also told me that when they did IVF with her own eggs, the EC took place in one hospital and the embryology in another, so it is possible to transport eggs in an incubator from one place to another.
She also recommended a clinic that does egg freezing, so I'm wondering if we just switch clinics. I've been wanting to stay with the same one, but I asked DH today if he thought I was being irrational, being loyal to a clinic that has not so far helped me to achieve pregnancy and now does not offer all the services we need...
...I think I will phone the other clinic tomorrow and find out what their charges would be for our rather odd situation, which does not sit neatly in their published price list!
How's everyone doing? Any news from Farfalla and Hen?
Sending follicle-plumpening (is that even a word? It should be) thoughts for you, Shellster and Blue.

Purple, so very glad to hear you are feeling better about it all today.
I am not in your situation and not quite sure why you would want to change to a clinic that does egg freezing? Why does that need to be part of the service? Wouldn't your DH just be providing the sample for the eggs to be fertilised? Or is that because the donor wants to save her excess eggs for future children as I think you said she has PCOS? Sorry if I'm being daft. I felt bad leaving my old clinic so I know where you are coming from, but now that I hear your story from an objective viewpoint, it definitely is not the wrong thing to change to a clinic that has the technology for your particular situation.

I had my day 8 scan today.

L: 2 follicles at 14mm, 12mm
R: 7 follicles, with the largest being 10.
They don't measure anything under 10 so I have no clue if the other 6 follicles on the R are tiny and out of the race or at 8-9mm and have the potential to produce an egg. So I could get just 3 eggs from the 14, 12 and 10, or I could get 9 eggs if these other 6 are big enough?

I have been injecting my meds all on the R side of my abdomen since my day 6 scan showing lots of smaller ones on that side in the hope the medicine gets this side growing. Not sure if it works like that but worth a try!
Thanks for the follicle plumping thoughts! Keep them coming over the weekend so I can see lots of those under 10 in the race on Monday's scan please!

Blue, when is your first scan to show what's cooking? I am super curious now that we have switched medications.

Purple I'm guessing you want the egg freezing option because you may need more than one cycle with the donor eggs. I have a friend that used donor eggs and got lucky on the 2nd go. It seems that even with super duper quality eggs things don't always work out first time, so looking for a new clinic makes sense. It's weird how the human brain works...I also feel stupidly attached to my clinic even though the admin staff wind me up and I haven't got pregnant yet!

As you know, our doctor has recommended we use donor eggs on our next cycle (if this one fails). He has already mentioned a clinic in Spain - apparently they have short waiting lists there and it's cheaper than here. I was worried about how my blonde hair/blue eyed genes would fare in Spain but apparently the egg donors are all university students and they have plenty of foreign exchange girls from Poland, Eastern Europe, Scandinavia etc. Seems faintly bonkers to be thinking about random blonde women but we may soon be at that stage.

Anyway Shellster it sounds like you are doing pretty well. I think those 'smaller' follicles are more likely to be closer to 10 than not, so hopefully some more will pop up by your next scan. I hadn't thought about injecting on one side more than another, that's a new one! I'm on 450 Menopur until Saturday, then I'm switching to Gonal F. My scan is on Sunday morning....8.45am. My doctor is a workaholic. I'm interested to see if the Menopur makes any difference.

Mega-post finished! Have a nice day all :)

I'm chuckling about this: clearly I'm so used to sharing everything with you ladies that I now expect you to be able to read my mind .

Yes, the egg-freezing is for my cousin. We were thinking that I would have half the eggs and she would freeze the other half. But it seems it's all WAY more complicated than that. They are recommending that we do 2 cycles, one for us and one for my cousin to freeze. This is not something we've discussed and is quite an ask.

And astoundingly expensive. It actually costs more if you pitch up at the clinic with a known donor, because you get all of their eggs rather than half of them. My own clinic has quoted £7430 for a donor cycle.

We're beginning to think we'd be much better off going abroad...but now feeling awkward about letting my cousin down, as we'd promised to fund freezing her eggs as part of the bargain. I almost wish we'd never opened that can of worms...

All too difficult!

Glad things are looking up for everyone. More egg-plumping thoughts coming your way x

purple I wonder if you could use your cousin's eggs at a clinic abroad? Check out 'Institut Marques' for example. They have loads of different services and seem a bit more flexible than here. Maybe you could do it the way you want to do it over there.

How's everyone else doing? Any interesting developments or good news?! Shellster when's your next scan?

Thanks Blue - we'll look into that.
Bizarrely, I'm not actually that fussed about using my cousin's eggs - it was just that I thought it would facilitate matters, i.e. waiting lists, matching, etc. I thought I was being helpful, by bringing my own donor to the party - not needing to use an anonymous donor that someone else would be waiting for. But they charge extra for it, which seems irrational. And the reasoning they gave - that it was because you got all rather than half of their eggs - made no sense either, since if you do IVF with your own eggs, it doesn't cost any different if you produce 20 eggs or 2.
My awkwardness and discomfort about it is that we were going to do something for my cousin too, in that we were going to fund her egg-freezing and if we decide to go ahead abroad, then I feel that we will be letting her down. I'm probably over-thinking this - her offer was not conditional on us funding her egg-freezing and it was us that suggested it as something we could give back.

Have you requested a price list from Institut Marques? I always worry when these things are not published...
....but I LOVE the idea that they play music to the embryos to help them to fertilise. I wonder if you can select a playlist. I should like Elgar, please .

purple i was looking at what you were saying about donor eggs, thinking surely its just your clinic but it looks like mine too charges a 'known donor uplift' of 1030.

So 2600 eggs
3210 ivf
1030 uplift
So 6840 total
I would have expected the ivf and maybe uplift only.
Though i guess i cant see how much goes to the donor.
They also seem to do this with sperm as known is twice the price.
It could be the checks and counselling

But that's just the point, Naty - it doesn't go to the donor. There's a cap on the amount that a donor can receive, which is £750. In my cousin's case, she was donating for altruistic reasons, although we'd agreed that we would fund her egg-freezing. I can't understand the justification for charging an uplift for a known donor as you're actually not need so much of the clinic's service - i.e. no donor matching and associated admin. Also, we would be funding all of her suitability tests, which are presumably a factor in the usual donor uplift.

I didn't quite understand your post on Friday Purple that the clinic charges more because the clinic is providing a service for ALL of the donors eggs rather than HALF of them. So I am glad your next post clarifies that this makes no sense to you either. So it would cost less if the embryo was being put back in her uterus as opposed to your uterus, which takes no extra effort on behalf of the clinic!

Well I just got back from my weekend away which did actually keep my mind busy. Friday's scan showed 3 definite mature egg producing follicles between 10-14mm, and 6 others that I was just informed were 'less than 10mm'. So no idea if it will be just 3 and I will probably cancel and fall in a heap, or if these smaller ones weren't too far behind and I might get closer to 9 eggs. Tomorrow morning will reveal all.

purple I'm still not sure I understand all those charges... sounds like a money making racket doesn't it?! I haven't requested prove info from institut Marques yet but will share if I do... that's the clinic my hospital recommends.

Had my second scan today, looks like 4 follicles are now growing. Seems pretty much in line with last 2 cycles, perhaps I'll get 2 eggs again. Was hoping for a couple more but not going to stress about it. Seems unlikely that any more will pop out but who knows., back on Weds morning for another scan. Shellstersending you some growth vibes!

Thanks blue. So it seems the medication change hasn't made too much of a difference then as you have the same number of follicles growing. I guess that's good - at least the medication didn't affect things in a negative way with one or two dominant follicles. Were they growing at similar sizes?

Well I just got home from a late work shift and with my scan first thing in the morn, this is on my mind so thought I'd check in. But no actual news to update you with. So off to bed now and will actually have an update the next time I post!

Shellster I didn't ask about sizes so I'm not sure how big they all are. The doctor seemed pretty satisfied and my lining is looking good apparently. I guess I'll know more at my next scan on Weds. Good luck tomorrow, let us know what happens!

blue, your Dr sounds fantastic and very thorough... doing tests to rule out reasons for early losses, organising scan re deviated septum, doing day 2 scan to determine best cycle to start IVF... so perhaps that's why you aren't so obsessed about the scan details like I am as you trust in him and leave all the fine details to him. Saves you a lot of stress!

Well, here's my day 10 scan follicle sizes:
19 17 15 14 13 13 11
Really happy in one sense as my previous record is 5 mature eggs for one IVF cycle. But disappointed that my left ovary only produced two of these when it normally produces more so I know it can do better and if it had of co-operated, I could have got perhaps 10 eggs.

Will get a call to confirm, but the nurse thinks I will have EC Thursday. With my history, things start to go downhill from there... 1-2 don't fertilise, 1-2 fertilise abnormally, 1-2 break apart with ICSI and I am lucky to be left with 1-2 embryos that die before transfer. That's my history so you can understand why I am nervous about the days ahead!