Starting IVF/ICSI this month - anyone want to join the journey?

[Rumplestrumpet]

After over 2.5 years TTC, we're FINALLY about to start our fertility treatment this month (ICSI). My nurse and husband forbade me from chats and forums, but after following MN threads over recent years I think it would be a great help to share the experience with those going through the same thing.

Anyone else want to share the joys/terrors of belly injections, hormonal madness and a series of medical professionals poking around your nether regions?! And, of course, hopefully a BFP at the end of it all

Hello!

How is everyone? Thanks so much for the kind words . Definitely not out of the woods yet, but things all seem to me moving in the right direction. IPILs getting darker by the day, but I can't shake the feeling that I will POAS tomorrow (OTD) and it will be BFN.

Hopefully it will still be BFP and I will try to get myself in for a blood test in the next couple of days

Smidge I got the BFP that met the criteria in the instruction leaflet (within timeframe, not having to break open test to see it etc) at 7dp5dt, but to be honest, the 4dp5dt was definitely picking up HCG (no matter what anyone says to the contrary, evap lines do not have colour to them, and this one definitely did)

On friday, I lined up the strips from 4/5/6dp5dt and showed them to DH. There is a definite 'fade in' pattern and as he said, if we were trying to prevent pregnancy, we would have been very concerned by the results, as they definitely didn't show a negative IYSWIM

allchat I hope you are feeling a bit brighter?

Shellster Good luck for your scan tomorrow, I have my fingers crossed for you.

gcerron Oh No, how frustrating! I hope you're ok, I can't imagine how disappointing that must be.

Frazoz That is such amazing news! 18 mature eggs? Is that a record? It surely must be! I so hope they all develop normally, you'll have a BFP and half a dozen frosties before you know it!

Nutty How are you doing? Not long now for your scan - I think once I have my beta levels checked and they are as they should be, I am going to do my best to relax and not to wish the 9 months away (might even try to enjoy it!) How long was it from BFP to your first scan btw?

Whittle yes, I did have mild AF type cramping from pretty soon after ET. The unfortunate think is that the progesterone you are (Presumably?) taking also causes similar effects so there's no way of telling if it is implantation or just a side effect. When to test is a really personal choice, you know my feelings on it, but I'm sure you will decide what is the right thing for you.

Thanks hen glad things are still looking good for you bet you can't wait for that blood test and solid confirmation. It's evil isn't it that your body keeps you guessing like that. Think I will hold out POAS for as long as I can.

gcerron that's rubbish news but at least they are waiting to give you the best possible chance. It would be awful if hey had gone ahead knowing something wasn't right. Fx it's not too much of a torturous wait for you.

Hope everyone else is ok and had a good weekend

whittle, I guess your wait is even longer because you had the transfer earlier! I don't often make it to transfer despite my 8 previous IVF cycles, so I can't really comment on the cramps.

Just came back from my day 10 scan.

My follicles are: 19 17 15 14 13 13 and 11mm

My lining is usually very light and I read that a lining of between 10-14 on day of trigger correlates with optimal implantation success.
I had the scratch last cycle and that seems to have improved things as my lining was 9mm today and should be 10mm by tomorrow - trigger day.
But that is only relevant of course if I make it to transfer this time!
After egg collection, things usually go downhill fast for me with a couple not fertilising, a couple fertilising abnormally, a couple of eggs breaking with ICSI and I am left wieht one/two embryos that don't make the distance.

Egg collection Thursday and then an anxious wait while I see what unfolds...

Hello all, it's been a busy weekend!

Gcerron - very frustrating for you, you must have been really upset. I know I would be. But it's not a bad sign at all - you still have a great little frozen embryo, and it's better to wait until your uterus is ready, rather than try it too early and risk wasting the embryo. The medical team know what they're doing, and probably have very high success rates with frozen embryo transfer. I know it's annoying having to wait another month or two, but it also gives your body the chance to recover from all those meds. It's a pause, but not a step backwards!

Hen - I am so so pleased for you! A BFP! Great news. You must be over the moon - will you be able to resist telling everyone at Christmas? I've found it SO hard to keep quiet (but mostly managing).

My news today - I just had my first scan, saw a tiny blob growing inside me, and actually saw a tiny, mini pulsating heartbeat! It was the most amazing thing I've ever seen (though I should add looked absolutely nothing like a human, baby, foetus, etc). It was just this tiny little blob, with a pulsing heartbeat. Amazing. So despite worrying over lack of symptoms for the past few weeks (seriously, zilch, nothing, nada), I am finally convinced that I am actually pregnant. And given that miscarriage risk at this stage now plummets to around 2%, I'm going to let myself enjoy it .

Best of luck to everyone else - Lil and Anroga I think you both start stimms this month? Whittle hang in there with the 2ww. Allchat so great to see you so strong through this all. Shelster all fingers and toes crossed for those follies to contain extra-super-top-quality eggs for you. Sorry if I've forgotten anyone.

rumples so happy to hear the scan went well how many weeks are you sorry I can't remember? I try to keep track of everyone but my memory is shot at the moment.

shellster it all sounds like it going really well so far and you are so strong to get this far again. I only had one embie so know how you feel with ever decreasing numbers. Fx you will make transfer this time

Can I ask did anyone find the progesterone made them really tired just trying to work out if it's that or I'm sickening for something?

Hi Shellster and Rumples. In response to your question about Luveris, I had to take it right from the very start, the day I started Gonal F and have had to take it for 9 days. Apparently it is supposed to improve egg quality but I wont know until after my egg retrieval which is this Wednesday. I am still keeping positive and optimistic even though I feel a little scared inside. Thanks Rumples, yes I feel with IVF a lot of it is mind over matter. To try and keep positive all the way through it and work with what you got because the mind affects the body so much, any stress can play a part on the outcome and affect the hormones. I think the body needs to be all in tune. I read an article on the internet some time ago about a woman who managed to conceive after many years by mind over matter. She visualised herself every day holding and carrying a baby, being pregnant, feeding the baby and it really worked. She believes in the power of the mind that can affect the body. I feel there is some truth in this somewhere. She says if you tell yourself every day you will be pregnant, you will be pregnant soon enough. I believe in the power of the mind too :)

By the way congratulations Rumples, that is amazing news, look forward to the updates :)

I'm suffering from mild OHSS according to the nurse, but it's been complete agony for the past 36 hrs. I feel for anyone that's gone through this, I think it must be payment for such high number of eggs.

I'm just praying I'm ok for ET on Wed.

At least we had some good news today and they have 8 good quality embryos, they've decided to freeze 3 today and carry 5 on till day 5 as they can't decide which is the best yet.

I think we all deserve medals for what we go through, physically and emotionally, whether you have no eggs or 20 eggs, everyone deserves a good outcome.

I wish everyone the best of luck whatever stage they are at because you all deserve it.

(Yes, feeling very emotional today)

So I'm sorry to rant but was just speaking to my friend about booking a spa day next year and I said as long as there are things I can do if I get pregnant, she said life doesn't stop when you're pregnant! I felt like screaming at her I know but it has taken so long to get to this I wouldn't want to jeopardise anything. I think because she had trouble conceiving (18months) and was string investigation that she thinks she knows what I'm going through and I'm being dramatic. All very easy to say when you know have your baby! Really sorry to rant but it really upset me I know she didn't mean it badly but do you think I'm over reacting?

Hi whittle
No I don't think you are overreacting at all. I know you can't use the hot tub or sauna when you are pregnant so it was a fair comment.
Anyone who hasn't been through ivf and experienced the highs and lows can completely understand what we have to go through. How can they?
Rant away!!

rumples I'm so, so pleased your scan went ok. I'm dreading mine already and it's not until next Monday!!

Thanks nutty just needed confirmation I wasn't crazy lol. How many weeks are you at?

I think I will be 6 weeks tomorrow. But that's based on the fertility friends calculator, which ask for the date of egg collection.

Fx crossed it will all go great

Oh thanks whittle

Rumples, so glad for you that your scan has allowed you to relax. How far along are you for the miscarriage rate to drop to 2%? Might be reassuring to know so I can tell myself to stop stressing at that point in my pregnancy too... when I get that far!

nutty, best wishes for you scan Monday.

Thanks for your well wishes whittle. Yes, fx I make it to transfer. Definitely not over-reacting at all in my opinion. Even if I hadn't gone through this to conceive a baby, it would be a valid comment. And with the torture we have endured to get pregnant in the first place, I don't think there is any possible way to be over dramatic about going through IVF - it bloody is dramatic! That being said, I don't want to cause tension between friends and when people say insensitive comments to me, I just breathe and know that there is no way people can understand this if they haven't gone through it (but scream inside!)

Fraz, sounds like you have no stress about making it to transfer then with 5 to choose from. You are entitled to have an emotional day! Yes we all deserve medals... or perhaps we all deserve BFPs!

So my Dr decided I should have EC Friday instead of Thursday. A clinic nurse said that my Dr often does EC a bit later than the clinic protocol. I am very worried that she is allowing the first couple to over mature for the sake of a couple of smaller ones. I read that the first maturing follicles contain the best egg which makes perfect sense since these are the ones the body is naturally selecting and would have grown in a natural cycle.

whittle I'm with nutty, not exaggerating at all (unless you punched her on the nose, that'd be over the top!)
I'm 8 weeks today (ie 8 weeks since first day of cycle, 6 wks since EC and fertilisation). Hang on in there, it should be absolutely fine!

Hi guys,

Firstly Hen - big up to you!!! That is amazing news. I'm so so happy you made it. You should read back your posts and remind yourself how you were close to cancelling! How funny.

shell those sizes from your scan are good. I know it's a long way to go still but here's crossing everything for you. I made 11 eggs, 11 fertilised. Had one put back at day 5 and 2 frosties. Apparently the frosties are actually better quality than the one they put back at day 5, but I still think the whole thing is a lottery.
Also I sort of echo your misgivings about EC on Friday and not Thursday. Don't you have to trust them though? Can you talk to consultant on phone tomorrow so she can reassure about her decision.

gcerron I can only imagine how gutting it must have been for you. Especially as you were literary about to have the embryo put back in. I think I would have just burst into tears there and then. Hope you are feeling better in yourself now a few days have passed. The clinic did the right thing. My acupuncturist thinks that many of her patients have more successful frozen ET because the body is less f**cked from the drugs. Look at me, failed ivf then next cycle I fell naturally, so maybe ivf does something to kick start the body? You have every chance of still getting your bfp, just a little delayed.

rumples - first scan! how beautiful. Enjoy it now…

Someone asked about cramping. I cramp every cycle for about a week before AF turns up. Most my cramping happens in the night weirdly. After ET I cramped loads the next day (which at the time I thought was a good sign), then I cramped all the way up until my bfn! Then the last cycle, which I fell naturally, the cramping wasn't really there. I just had an incline because the cramping wasn't building in the normal way it does when AF is looming. We need to remember though that every implantation is different, every pregnancy is different and every miscarriage is different. So really we drive ourselves mad trying to work it out. I spent a whole day bloody reading about MC when it was happening to me. God knows why. I didn't really need to know anything!

x

You're totally right allchat that every month/implant etc is different, and we just torment ourselves trying to work out meanings from symptoms etc. I will try to remember this on my next cycle!

Having said that, my main pre-AF symptom is always the spotting. 5-8 days of it normally and I can't shake the feeling that the second I get spotting I know I'm not going to be pregnant (though I don't have a BFP to compare against, and of course I hear some people spot with successful pregnancies (just don't truly believe it for myself)). I'll never be able to shake the feeling I need no bleeding then I'll be pregnant.

This cycle (between IVFs) I have been doing OPKs and got my high yesterday, yet the very same day I also started spotting.

Same thing happened the last month immediately following IVF. At least now I can feel glad I didn't head straight into a frozen cycle. I can't believe spotting is a good sign of perfect conditions for an embie to be transferred.

rumple excellent news on your scan!! Bet you were so nervous (and then loved it ).
Love the fact you are honest about it looking nothing like a baby! I get shown scans from people and can't work them out at all - and theirs are probably carried out way further down the line!

smidge do you know why you spot? Has it been investigated?

Oh Rumple congratulations this is great news! I bet you cannot believe it! You have to now though it is really happening, the scan doesn't lie!

Yes I have my SIS/Pipelle on the 16th and then if all is well start my injections. I have been ok on the microgynon until last night when I had the most almighty headache/similar to a migraine, I did give in this morning and take two panadol and it seems to be fading away this morning.

So so pleased for you Rumple! xxx

Intersted to also read your success was with ICSI first time Rumple as that is what we are having :) x

Us too angora gives us all hope. Day 4 or 5 of tww and already going nuts. Do you count transfer day as day 1 or the next day?

It certainly does Whittle, positive vibes all round! I bet you are going nuts, I am sure I will be the same in that 2ww, got everything crossed for you - out of interest did you do long protocol like I am going to do and how did you find it? xxx