Starting IVF/ICSI this month - anyone want to join the journey?

[Rumplestrumpet]

After over 2.5 years TTC, we're FINALLY about to start our fertility treatment this month (ICSI). My nurse and husband forbade me from chats and forums, but after following MN threads over recent years I think it would be a great help to share the experience with those going through the same thing.

Anyone else want to share the joys/terrors of belly injections, hormonal madness and a series of medical professionals poking around your nether regions?! And, of course, hopefully a BFP at the end of it all

Hi leopard, yes, I have only 10 follicles in total, but I seem to be the only one concerned by this tbh.

I have one consultant doing my scans locally, and another at the Lister who are both really optimistic god knows why

I even had a chat today about scheduling by next cycle as this one was looking a bit dismal and they (nicely) told me not to be silly and that this one had every chance of success.

Do you know how big your follies are? Mine are measuring between 15mm and 10mm and I'm still on a low dose of gonal - f (200iu).

I feel for you though, I'm really down in the dumps this evening, and I seem to have killed the other thread

Im sure you've not battery, we all go through ups and downs you're not alone think positive, that's all we can do. At least your medical team seem positive so that can only be a good thing. I'm sure you'll be ready for collection in no time

Mine were not measuring anything today, I only heard the numbers (of potential follicles I presume) because the nurse was telling a student what to write they didn't seem concerned and just said my ovaries were stubborn and needed a kick start! I'm on the max dose of Menopur now I believe, 300iu. I have PCOS so maybe they started me off on a low dose? Who knows! Will just rest, try and not stress and worry and see how I go on Wednesday. Fingers crossed for us all!

Definitely pink . And another 3 days til OTD.

smidge spotting doesn't have to mean af. another board I'm.on recently had 2 ladies get bfps and then they started spotting for a good few days. it stopped and they are still pg. try and relax. really feel for you being in this limbo.

Good morning girls!!

I hope all of us will have a big smile at the end of this process, I started Mild IVF some days ago, I was perfectly fine and I don't have any strange symptom, tonight is my 5th day with Gonal-f, HOWEVER my concern is regarding my period (AF) this month, I had just one day period, it suddenly stopped in my second day, it doesn't have anything with Gonal-f because before I do my first injection my period was over. If anybody had any similar case I would appreciate if you can share with me. Otherwise lets see what will the scan reveal tomorrow, since it is my first scan ;)

gceron. Have you ever had one day period ever before? Have you absolutely ruled out any chance of pregnancy before starting cycle. Don't you have scan on day 3 of period? Have you consulted nurses?

Hi gceron. I started down regging on day 3 of my cycle whilst still bleeding & that AF lasted a couple of days longer than normal. I then had a two day bleed (really just spotting) white still down regging and I got the go ahead to start stims without another bleed. Any help?

Hope you're ok smidge

Thanks leopard and lildottie. Am feeling very despondent and flat at the moment. Don't even want to take a hpt as I know it will be negative. Having all my usual pmt symptoms, spots on my face, backache, period pains and spotting. It's no good people saying some of these can be pregnancy symptoms too as I just know I'm not. I just hate all this time wasting and my life being on hold. sorry for the depressing post. I'm sure I'll perk up once I know when we can try again.

we're here for you whichever way it goes smidge. otd is another day closer.

smidge. I know the feeling. I sort of new in my waters and wasn't excited about hpt at all. Just wanted to stop the pessaries. Hang in there. Even if it is a bfn, it will be ok. First few days are rough.

Anyway!!!! Shouldn't even talk like that.

and for you smidge (or but let's hope not)

Battery, you certainly HAVE NOT killed the other thread beautiful!
I just found this thread too and thought I'd join in if you don't mind.
I am waiting to start IVF next cycle and the wait is taking forever so I like to find mumsnet posts to help pass the time.
Glad I found it as I was thinking of you Battery.
Do you know your date for EC Battery?
I am really sure that you will be pleasantly surprised by the number of mature eggs so I just want for you to be passed that hurdle.
I totally understand the emotions of IVF, having had 8 attempts myself and I really feel for you.
This thread is too long to read all posts but will keep tabs from now on and get to know you all.

Morning all and welcome to the newbies!

Smidge I understand how you're feeling - that sounds exactly how I was last week. Of course it disappeared pretty much as soon as I got the BFP, and there IS still a chance for you. But, assuming you know your body better than I know mine, if it hasn't worked this time, it will be ok. You got this far, and that's a good sign. You'll of course have a chance to think about next rounds (did you get a frostie in the end?), but I think at the moment you just need to be kind to yourself - we all know, logically, that our fertility issues do not make us failures. It's not our fault, we've done nothing wrong, the whole thing is just very very unfair. I'm still praying that you're completely wrong (hope that's ok!), and that you, like me, don't know your body and you are in fact pregnant!

And Hen , I hope you're ok. I'm not sure why you don't believe your medical team (or us, for that matter!), that all is going well. No matter how many times you hear "10 follicles is fine" you don't seem to believe it. Is it self-preservation? I understand not wanting to get your hopes up. Be careful about being too pessimistic though, it sounds like you're very distressed at the moment and that's not going to help. Have you had a chance to talk to a counsellor about the whole thing? You might find it helps to put things straight in your mind, and work out why you're having a hard time trusting your medical team. I hope this doesn't sound critical, I'm just worried for you.

Leopard - Good to hear from you. I think slow growth is ok, and good that they're upping your dose to see if that helps. Clearly we all react differently to the drugs, fingers crossed your follicles pick up now. Good luck for your scan today.

Thanks rumples. No major difference in follicles this morning but they are not concerned, back again on Friday and they will up my dose again if needed. On strict instructions to rest and not worry! They will give me a sick note if I need it on Friday after my gp appointment as I'm still off work. I don't think I realised how stressed I was until I was off!

Hope you're well and enjoying your BFP

Thanks Leopard, it's starting to sink in. And yes on the stress - it creeps up on you without you realising, so though annoying I understand why the nurses kept telling me to try to relax - there isn't much else we can do, is there? So enjoy the time off while you can - good that your clinic are reassuring on the treatment. Keep us posted on Friday.

hi all. welcome shelster 8 goes! wow! hope this is the one for you. I start bcp next week unless I get a miracle bfp and the injections start 28/12. lovely crimbo pressie!

smidge hope ur OK.

been reading Zita Wests ivf book. lots about believing it will happen and imagining good things about you organs and eggs and stuff. trying to get PMA on board well in advance here! definitely get the not knowing you're stressed until you stop thing. getting signed off turned into losing my job last year. best thing that ever happened to me. I'm now self employed and loving it. plus lits of time for me!

Hi All,

I have been lurking on your thread for a little while watching your progress but didn't join in as was a little way behind you guys. As I have now started and Im hopefully starting my stimms on Friday, thought I would join in if you'll have me. :)

Hello. Good luck whittle. Is this your first round? I felt so much more in control when I started stabbing.

I got some proper red bits of blood yesterday so I agreed to do an HPT with hubby this morning, rather than wait until tomorrow's blood test. Sure enough it was a BFN . Even though I know it hasn't worked, I wish I'd gone and got the blood test today (I spoke to a nurse and she said they would have brought it forward) but I didn't call until after the time when they send them off for testing. At the time it didn't seem to matter but now that I'm not bothering to do the progesterone gel I'm suddenly wondering if I should anyway! just in case! Doofus. An early testing HPT at 10dp5dt would definitely be accurate, and it was as white as white can be.

Is it just the law of averages do you think? How long should I keep trying for? I can't imagine not continuing though, as it can't imagine not ever having a baby of my own . Life without children is not something I've ever kind of imagined and it scares me $#!tless . I have one frostie though, so at least I don't have to decide just yet. Though I had totally earmarked this for a sibling. Now I'm just wondering if maybe a FET will work better because of having fewer drugs in my system... she says forever clutching at straws

Anyway, I suspect I shall just do a bit of lurking on here for a while now til I get my head sorted and have a plan in place for a FET. All the best to those still in the running before Christmas. And thankyou dearly for all your kind words of support to me throughout this process. 2 down, maybe 3rd's a charm....

This is just my second post so I'm just getting to know you guys.

Whittle, I will be about a week behind you in starting my stimms.

Smidge, I really feel for you. My follicles all seem to grow at different rates so that I have had a few cancelled cycles due to poor response and when I have proceeded to EC five times, 5 mature eggs is my record... and not one make it to blast. Am currently on high protein/low carb diet which study shows increases number of embryos that make it to blast, and always think that once I get that far, I am on the home stretch. So it's an eye opener hearing stories like yours where you make it that far (twice?) and yet still no BFP.

Would love to know more about your IVF story if you currently have the strength. Do you have an infertility diagnosis? Is it rude to ask how old you are? It's just mind boggling that a day 5 blast has made it that far and just has to implant at day 6, yet it didn't happen for you.

Hi shellster. It's so hard looking at everyone else's stories and success rates, because I think so much of the process still seems to be down to luck and probability. You have to be positive, but I think a dose of reality does soften the blow (for me anyway).

Getting to a 5 day blast is obviously great and it does theoretically increase chances but still not a given.

I had 11 mature eggs, 100% fertilised. All 11 made it to day 5. One put back. 2 frozen. Still bfn. I'm 35. Secondary infertility. AMH 55. No known reason. Clinic said I was text book and the odds were stacked in my favour. Obviously not!

It's ok though. It was a few weeks ago so I'm over it (my bank account isn't though!). Just got to decide whether to do natural or medicated fet and when. I wanted to get straight back on horse so to speak but they'd rather wait for anothet spontaneous cycle. My decision though.

Good luck to you. For what's its worth I actually found the process ok x

Oh Smidge I'm so so sorry to hear your news. Of course we all try to be realistic about statistics, but there really is no sense to it all. I hope you have some nice plans for the weekend - your favourite chic flic (DH is obliged to sit through it!), a nice day out, favourite food - just indulge and spoil yourself. It's great that you have a frostie - you can think about that in a couple of weeks when you've got your head around this unsuccessful cycle. As for carrying on after that, I don't know what the answer is, and I guess a lot will depend on your bank balance. But so far you have responded very well to the IVF - 6 fertilised eggs, right? That's a good place to be in, and bodes well for future rounds.

Shelster I can't imagine having the strength togo through 8 cycles - let's hope this one really is your last!

Welcome Whittle - you'll find a lovely supportive bunch here, and some experienced IVFers to answer your questions!

So pleased to hear that you are feeling a lot better Allchat - like you said you were a text book case, and it really SHOULD have worked. But there's clearly a very good chance for your frostie. It sounds like you're getting good advice from your clinic - do they have a sense of whether natural or medicated usuall my have more success? Personally I'd be drawn to the natural option, but that's not really based on anything other than believing that mother nature probably knows best... but then if that were the case none of us would need fertility treatment in the first place! So perhaps ignore me...

Lildottie - I like the idea of positive thinking, and sending positive vibes to the key parts of your body. I have a friend who years ago had a huge ovarian cyst, and decided that, rather than have surgery, she would "learn to love it". I thought she was a bit nuts, but her change in attitude actually started having an impact on her symptoms - it was like she wasn't fighting with her body anymore. Totally unscientific, but at the same time it kind of makes sense....

Anyway, happy day to everyone, and I hope those still on the 2ww aren't suffering too much.

I agree AllChat. From what I understand, at 38 (my age) a 5 day blast still only has a roughly 30% chance of success. So yes, even though it feels like a big hurdle to get that far, there's still a massive way to go. I've had two 5-dayers both fail so far with no known reason, but with those stats it's to be expected. No known reason for infertility. AMH around 30 from memory (I know it was over the standard for my age group). No endo, no sperm issues, fertilisation rates in line with stats (70-80%). Just luck I think. Maybe a natural FET cycle will do better for me...

Hi guys,
I tested yesterday at 10 days post day 5 transfer and it's negative! Think it's pretty accurate at this stage, so it's safe to say it hadn't worked for me. I'm absolutely devastated and haven't stopped crying for last 24 hours! This whole thing is so emotionally draining. I feel empty now and just want this pain to stop :(
Sorry I'm not here giving better news. I will probably disappear from the tread now, as I think it'll be too upsetting to keep going. I want to say thank you to everyone who has advised and helped me over the last few weeks. Your support has been truly helpful, and I wish you all the best of luck in getting your bfp's. Xx

Cross post - Thanks rumples. Yes, the frostie is a real help to me mentally. I think I'm coping better than my first failed round actually - partly as I've had all the investigative work now (and threw everything at this attempt) so I'm not left thinking 'what if we'd tried x/y/z' etc. Instead I can simply blame the stats. And then also knowing I have a frostie ready and waiting this time is a big comfort.

I've told my hubby all your suggestions for this weekend . Of course, I would also be claiming lots of attention and me me me time if it had been positive too, so I think he was well prepared .

Oh Seb I'm so so sorry to hear that. And after the really difficult cycle of treatment you've had, this must feel like another kick in the teeth. Sending you all my sympathy, and I hope the pain eases soon.