The All Things Donor Conception Thread

[foxinorangesocks]

Thought I'd start an ongoing thread for all mnetters that are having, thinking about having or have had treatment using donor eggs or sperm or who are considering/have been a donor. Come and talk about all stages of using or being a donor, from exploring the idea of donor conception and pursuing treatment (or not) to parenting donor conceived children or being a donor- all in a supportive and encouraging space. Whilst I say All Things - this is NOT meant to be a thread for expressing concerns over the ethics/morals of donor conception in negative/forceful/hurtful ways. Please start a thread elsewhere for this.

just extremely tired due to disturbed sleep from getting up in the night for the toilet, sick but not actually been sick, was off sugary or sweet food until the other day, feel cold first thing until about lunch time, with goose bumps but then i have hot sweats and flushes during the night, they still feel like they are there on my right side as i have a like heavy feeling in my stomach on that side, hard to explain what its like, suppose it feels like a heaviness, crossing my fingers and praying those tests are just another blip sent to test me!!
what do you think is going on??

What tests have you done so far? The meds can give symptoms so it could just be that however let a blood test confirm, you do sometimes get negs changing to pos about later, the beta will be accurate

clear blue is all i'm allowed to use, my friend in the usa says they wee tests are commonly unreliable, they mainly use blood tests over there, what is beta?? for the blood test they will be looking for higher HCG levels is that right??

Bob I am sorry that things are unclear at the moment, it must be stressful. I started spotting on the prog supplements when I did my own egg cycle so no bleeding may well be a good thing. Keeping everything crossed that it was a bit early and sending a hug.

Lauren, what meds are you on now? Do the clinic keep you updated at the moment? I'm sorry I feel like I ask you a lot of questions but I feel like I don't really know what is coming next and we seem to have consistently been two weeks apart in the process. How are you doing emotionally and have you felt better since stopping the buserelin?

Control, I think clothes spends are an important part of ivf expenditure . great that things are on the close horizon. Have you got flights booked?

Marmot, I wanted to say hello. After getting there after a struggle I can imagine how much you were hoping that it would happen again - and it might yet! But if you are thinking about donor and want to thrash out thoughts then we are here for you.

I have now been downregging for 30 days and have been off the noristeristone for 48 hours, no period yet. I am finding this quite an odd go at ivf. It feels very dragged out and limbo like?

Don't worry ask away!

Fox
I think you will bleed tomorrow, I have a scan tomorrow and I'm guessing my donor has too, the earliest EC would be is Thu, can you believe this started in May? I haven't enjoyed this cycle at all either. Been getting bad migraines this week I think its the HRT

Bob yes Beta is the blood test sorry, are you going to try anymore peesticks? How will you feel if its a negative? I hope you're ok

I'm on day 58 of DR :(

Oh my god Lauren - had no idea you were STILL downregging! I thought that stopped when the donor starting stimming? So you take buserelin as well as the hrt? Jesus

Nope, you carry it on, I feel worse since the HRT, I'm not one for struggling usually and having side effects, been on morphine, fentanyl and max dose tramadol for past 2 years when it usually wipes people out and feel on top of the world but this cycle has really done me in I don't know why

Im getting impatient now, so worried about egg numbers now tho

Hang in there Lauren. I found the noris whatever it is called made me MOODY for a couple of days and sometimes I feel so very very tired, I could just sleep on the floor wherever I am. I don't think I thought it would be as testing as this, it is the sheer length of it all and the limbo of not knowing what the hell is happening or when. Hard to unpick what is hormones or emotions that would be there anyway. I too am fretting. I fret about the donor changing their mind, about there not being enough eggs to share (though I think I am first on the list, though haven't had that confirmed) that the eggs won't fertilised or that it won't work. It feels so tightrope like. I can't help but think there has to be an easier way, people I've known having treatment abroad seem to have had a bit more of a simple timeline?

All those things I feel too, they did tell me a donor had never pulled out as this point, they don't do couple 1 and 2 like they used to (where 1 couple were named 1 and got them all if there weren't enough, and couple 2 got rematched) they just said the medical director decides on the day. I imagine if the other couples private tho I might have to get rematched, I got 4 eggs myself last year so i'm praying for more than that

We really should try to meet up?

We def should at some point given what mirrored journeys we're having. The nurse misled me a bit about that then - how on earth do they decide?! Do private patients get chosen ahead of nhs?

Do you know your donors age? I got one egg and that ovulated by itself so four feels amazing seriously though it would be very bad luck not to get enough. I've been chatting to people on here for a very long time and I can't remember many people getting less than 8.

I would def be up for that, I'm in Manchester everyday for work and live in Tameside

Well the paperwork says couple 1 and 2, I asked which we were, if you are couple 2 you are guaranteed to be 1 the next time. They said they don't do that anymore a medical director just decides on the day, they didn't say they favour paying patients that's just a guess, well guess I am paying just my CCG pays the bill

The mind boggles then about how they choose. I might have to ask about it next time. Let's keep fingers tightly crossed that neither of us will be in that boat. How do people ever get pregnant I often wonder. This is so ridiculously complicated!

Bob hope you are ok and that you get a better sleep.

I'm there at 8.30am, anything you want me to ask whilst I'm there? I need more Buserelin I must remember I'm nearly out

lauren, no more pee sticks, never really wanted to do it in the first place i would have quite happily plodded along until 12 weeks i think, there are 3 plans 1) good friend will give me some of her eggs, just need to find out the price for this 2) save up or get an advance on wages and try again 3) save up and go adoption route, but i'm hoping not to have to use any of the options, 4.15pm is my appointment time and i need all the good luck and prays i can get!! speak later and good luck to all of you guys too!!

I will be thinking of you, don't give up if its bad news, and thanks I'm there now

Good luck bob and Lauren didn't see your post in time - did all go well? No sign of a period here. Starting to worry...

Any sign? Don't panic they told me 5-7 days sometimes, I was just quick!

Well scan went well, donors ready for EC I didn't expect it so soon, she is in Thu

hi fox and lauren, blood test says no, but i won't be convinced unless i bled or throw up, tbh, clinic says to stop taking all medication and i should bled by wednesday if not do another pee test by thursday morning, i have an appointment to see my consultant next friday to discuss next steps, i am going to try again, but just be a bit more tactical when i try, as i have a 50/50 chance each time i try, so i've got to try at least once more, just got to sort the money side, if i save up it will take me 12-14 months, going to see if the bank will lend me the £8000 i need, going to make an appointment tomorrow, at the end of the day i have lots of options!!
hope you are all ok??

thank you lauren and fox for all your support during my 1st ivf cycle, i had terrible stomach ache during the night, was awake between 1.30 and 4am, had to get up and write all my thoughts down in the end, then went back to sleep for an hour and a half, the terrible stomach was constipation as i thought, side effect from the drugs, but as i always have the runs due to my colitis, i do not know what it feels like!! 3 more get ups and school is finally finished!! think i'll probably sleep all weekend!! so so tired, hope you are all well and speak soon!!

Bob I'm sorry to hear it wasn't a blood positive. You have struck me as a beautifully upbeat person whilst we've been talking. Positivity is not something that comes naturally to me so I've taken something from that - thank you. It is rubbish that you are having such horrible physical symptoms and I hope that goes away soon. It's such a big decision to choose to go down the donor route and it feels like that should be the hard bit - not the conceiving. But you are so right, it's a 50/50 numbers game. Have you thought about the questions you want to ask the consultant? Big hug to you, talk away here if it helps.

No af here. Thanks Lauren for saying it could take longer. I rang the clinic in a panic yesterday and they said to call tomorrow if no sign and I'll have to have another scan and blood test

Lauren - you'll be in for ET within a week then? Eek! Good luck. I've had 3 ETs at Care: all seamless.

Lauren - you'll be in for ET within a week then? Eek! Good luck. I've had 3 ETs at Care: all seamless.

fox, hi no i don't really know what questions to ask the consultant tbh!! as the co-ordinator discussed everything with me at the time of the blood test, basically nothing went wrong and i had a 50/50 chance, the reason why i'm positive is last year i went to church with my friend in the usa,(i've known her for 15 years now) every time i visit her in the usa she asks me to go with her on a sunday and i always say no, but last year i gave it a go, (i'm not a church kind of person for lots of reasons, which are long and complicated to explain) the first part was over my head until this young pastor came on and he talked about everything happening for a reason and its the way you deal with the problems that make the problems tiny or big, that things are sent to test you and sometimes you are not ready to deal with them so you need to try again or try a different path!! i am not at all religious but i had a light bulb moment there and then in the church whilst in was in agony with a colitis attack, so now my moto is everything happens for a reason and how you deal with it!!
btw i have not bled yet, but had terrible constipation during the night, so my fingers are still crossed!!
everything is sounding exciting for you two atm!!

Thanks Resispa its sat my ET, unless I get loads and it will be blast on Tue

Bob I too admire your positivity, good on you

Fox any sign? I told you orgasms! Not that I could be added if I'm honest