The All Things Donor Conception Thread

[foxinorangesocks]

Thought I'd start an ongoing thread for all mnetters that are having, thinking about having or have had treatment using donor eggs or sperm or who are considering/have been a donor. Come and talk about all stages of using or being a donor, from exploring the idea of donor conception and pursuing treatment (or not) to parenting donor conceived children or being a donor- all in a supportive and encouraging space. Whilst I say All Things - this is NOT meant to be a thread for expressing concerns over the ethics/morals of donor conception in negative/forceful/hurtful ways. Please start a thread elsewhere for this.

morning everyone, how are you all doing, i'm waiting for boiler to be serviced and a plumber to fix the taps and plug, so bored and really need to get to the shop to get another, that way i'll know if i can be lifting and moving furniture about or not!!

Morning, I'm off work all this week, my stepdaughters up later til wed pm which will be tough, find it so hard seeing him with her, I know I shouldn't, Bob I can't believe your luck with tests!

your telling me, now the boiler man has been and i'm still waiting for the plumber and can't wait to get to the shop!!
when my nephew were younger he used to stay with me for a week during the holidays and i used to hate him going home, even though he was messy and i had more work to do extra washing and cooking, it was nice to have someone to look after and to talk to!! once he was still asleep past 8.30am i was bored so turned some music on to wake him up it was so cute, he came dancing out of the bedroom!! my other nephew stayed with me near xmas one year and it had snowed he still remembers us going out to get grit and playing ice ball with a broom handle and massive lumps of ice!!
how old is your step daughter?? is there anything that you both like to do together??

finally got hold of another test and its a no, but i have my consultation appointment on saturday to look forward to and also to start saving like mad, as by xmas i should only have to borrow £5000 so i have enough for the next treatment!!

Its a tricky one as she wasn't allowed to see me until 6 weeks ago, her mum wouldn't let her, I do go and visit her in her own town on the quiet a couple of times over the the past couple of years but my DP got paranoid about the ex seeing me and I was made to duck down in the car and hide in the back bedroom when she did handover, it was handled really badly so its been a tricky situation, he sees her in a different city so for 2 days every week he goes there, he missed loads of key dates during both ivfs, he left me Xmas day a week after our cancelled cycle and he left me on otd for the first cycle, my 30th last year, he wanted to bring her to EC ladst year as he didn't want to miss seeing her and wanted them to go the park whilst I went in on my own

The ex has now finally giving in so she is here now, you can imagine battling infertility and this situ too has been hard

I made her a nice bedroom up, got her everything she needs, took her places on my own, but I'm not gonna lie its been tough

So sorry about your test, sounds like you are being very positive and looking to the future, I'm already planning my next go :)

hopefully i would to have the scratch done right at the end of december or early january to then aim for transfer at the end of january or beginning of february, then this gives me plenty of time to save up, also the xmas holidays are nice and long, i always have 2 weeks off both jobs and sometimes 3 weeks off the after school job, plus i would then go back to school for a week or so in the september and then be on mat leave fingers crossed!! there's also no gardening to think about, its nice and dark so i should sleep properly, there's lots of reasons really!!
i've just got to be careful not to slip into a depression and eat for england as thats also so easy to do!!
when are you thinking of having another go if this ones not successful? also if you don't mind me asking do you get your treatment on the nhs or are paying private??

Sounds like you have a plan!

We are nhs luckily, I'm so so grateful our area fund 3, we have 1 cycle left, by the time we are rematched etc I think it will be Feb/March before we go again, we both work in retail management so Xmas isn't a good time to cycle, my work are really supportive but his is a fairly new job so I think waiting is wise

your so lucky, i have thought about challenging the health department to see if they would pay for my cycle and of course i would pay for the sperm and egg donors, but don't know if its worth it and if i would get anywhere, thats why i ask, wish it was easier to find a man of my dreams, but i've done all the online dating business and nothing came of it apart from some from strange men that mainly still lived with mummy and could do nothing for themselves, so saving it is!!

My area find singles, same sex and donor you know Bob, we got funded for 3 goes but then had no choice but to make the change to donor but our nhs clinic didn't do it, so we had to apply to the CCG to transfer to a private clinic for donor treatment

Have you seen a copy of the assisted conception criteria for your area?

Evening both. Lauren hope you are finding the waiting tolerable. It must bring up all sorts of emotions being with your step daughter, it sounds as if you have had some very complicated times. It is time for your luck to change. Keep thinking about the unknowns of embryo quality. Who knows what we looked like as a bunch of cells? I only get two goes nhs and live so close to you - what pct are you?

Bob boo to test stress and a final no. But it's good to have a plan all laid out.

Day 39 of downregging.

Hi Fox

I'm in Mossley under Oldham, I was in Ashton previous and they are Tamesdide&Glossop both of those areas I was in f
fund 3

How you feeling? Hang on in there not long now

God terrible typos sorry in bed can't sleep and got no contact lenses in

no lauren how do i get a copy of assisted conception criteria for your area?
as in the beginning i managed to get a referral to an nhs consultant but as soon as i saw him and said i had no partner he said the essex pct won't be able to help you as they don't have hfea i think but not sure and referred me to the local private clinic which he also worked in!!
thanks all information about how to do more cycles are welcome!!

Find out your CCG online and call them, ask them to email it to you, mine did in 5 mins, read it twice! And see if you can find anything, my GP didn't know the full rules of my CCG, she told me to come back in a year even though I had proven endo, my gynae surgeon told me its 6 months if you have known issues and it said that in the criteria so I went back after printing it?

I don't understand what was said about the HFEA? My understanding is all clinics both NHS and Private report to the HFEA, they are the governing/licencing body for all fertility treatment

something to do with nhs don't have a license to use donor sperm or donor eggs, for single people only allowed for couples the gp did print me something and it was highlighted says nhs treatment for couple only!!
i may have wires crossed with the HFEA as there's so many acronyms flying about i never know which is which!!
sorry being really thick now, what am i looking for on the CCG site?

The CCG should have a phone number, just call and ask for who deals with assisted conception funding, I had to go through a couple of people on the phones until I found the right person who then emailed me

If you want to pm me your email address I will forward you the one they sent me to give you an idea

I'm sure it said singles, same sex, donor and it even funds if the woman has a child as long as its to a different partner

Not sure if can combined 2 like donor and singles but same sex must use donor actually?

lauren thanks for all your help yesterday!
what you up to today to keep busy during the 2ww, think i was far too busy during my 2ww as it was the end of term madness!!
just saw my brother, he's very stressed as he's moving soon, he came to pick up his medication, he told a couple of ways to boost my credit rating before i have to apply for the loan for the next cycle, he was also talking about getting my back garden fake turfed again, as he thinks he could a sample piece big enough and then take it back up if i need to move!!

No probs I hope it helped, I have a head full of knowledge on some things :)

Consider coming to Fertility friends though it will help you loads I think

My credit ratings terrible, infact I'm lying its not its 986 out of a possible 1000, never defaulted and missed a payment but experian tell me I'm getting refused due to being at my max limit on things, I'm paying a fortune in interest and want to do a balance transfer on a card just to freeze the interest but got declined

thanks ff is on the long list of thing to do in my week off!!

yes my credit rating has been terrible at times, paid most off now but one, but that's because it was a loan with ppi, that was never worth having, i pay by standing order to a debit collector its been with them for over 10 years and i'm thinking of stopping it, i only pay £14 a month and probably still owe about £3,500, but with interest as they never froze the loan when i lost my job and all the ppi they owe me i think we are even by now!!
i paid off the small hp on my car last june as i had already paid for half of the car up front at the time, so no other debts, well apart from the £9320 of savings that i just spent on ivf!!
thats how i manage to save so much in the first place and of course having 2 jobs also helps!!

hi everyone, random question, but how long does it take for all the ivf medication to be out of your body, as i'm still suffering with constipation which never happens to me as i have colitis, thanks and i hope you are all well!!

Unfortunately that's one I can't help you with but I haven't often heard of that being an issue?

How you feeling did you call those numbers I gave you? Let me know if you join Fertility friends and I will give you the guided tour :)

I'm 5dp 2dt or 7dpo today

I have had very very mild AF cramps, that mild I think I'm maybe imagining it?

I have also been sneezing a lot and google tells me that could be a sign however..... You could literally google BFP and anything and some crazy people on forums will say its a sign so I'm still clueless

I'm back to work Mon so I'm thinking of doing an early test at weekend knowing full well I will regret it and know if its a BFN it could just be too early

fox update please???

thanks lauren, i got a bit way laid the other day, taking net and curtains down and cleaning windows!! then i was chatting to my next door neighbour i haven't seen her for ages!!
i always think about phone calls when i first wake up but they are all still closed, will try to remember when it gets to 9am!!
my laptop is playing up, won't back up to the externel hard drive, got my friend coming to fix it on sunday!!
on tuesday i bumped into an ex neighbour, she had said that she had taken the whole 2ww time off work and did nothing, do you think its a good idee, for me for next time, or just not practical?? also do you take aspirin before implantation or just after??
i'm looking for to my appointment with the consultant tomorrow and i'll see my co-ordinator too, hopefully she can help me get plans in place for the next try!!

I am so bad at this keeping up malarkey! Can't wait for my project at work to be finished this weekend so I can get back to normal and have time to come back here again.

sideshow I'm sorry about the BFN. With my first cycle I had slight OHSS and it took about a week or so after AF arrived before the constipation started to shift.

lauren I can't believe I missed your transfer! I will read back properly after the weekend, but I hope it all went smoothly for you.

I hope fox and everyone else is doing ok

AFM, AF landed this morning, bang on schedule - nobody's more amazed than me! I've paid my money to the Spanish clinic and will be phoning my UK consultant to arrange my day 10-12 scan this morning.

thanks control, don't know what BFN or OHSS is but my colitis just means i'm loose all the time, so its a real shock to be constipated as i haven't been for at least the last 11 years since i had my gall bladder out, its a few different stomach pain for me and i'm not used to it at all!! i only bled for 3 days, heavy, medium to light flow and then spotting on the last day, nothing like my usual 5-7 day bleed, so maybe the next one will be longer!!
exciting that you are nearly on your way to your clinic, keep us all posted and good luck!!