Anyone starting IVF soon? Join me.

[Shellster52]

After 3 full failed IVF's last year, I am about to embark on my second last attempt. I started an IVF thread during my last IVF, and everyone got pregnant but me. So I swore I wouldn't do that again this time. But I find myself wanting to chat with people going through what I am, so I am starting the thread again. Join me as I seem to be a BFP magnet!

Just off to bed and I realised it s early o'clock tomorrow for you Shellster. Is today EC day? Good luck...hoping for lots of fat ones x

Todays Monday here Purple - your test day! But I think you guys are 11 hours behind. 15DPO without a period sounds promising. But as you way with all the drugs, who knows. I took a progesterone drug called Endometrin last cycle in prep for IVF this cycle and my normally short 24-25 day cycle was 29 days long. Have you had any physical symptoms?

Well, driving home from EC now. Got 5 eggs. Feeling a bit disappointed even though t's more than the 3 I was preparing for. I got 5 once before and obviously BFN so maybe I associate 5 with that. But I have done high protein / low carb diet since which studies say will get 50% of my embryos to day 5. But how many 50% is depends on how many fertilise. And hubby is the one with the fertility issue so who knows what his swimmers will do.

It's going to be a long 24 hours while I wait for a phone call tomorrow to say how they went...

Five is good, Shellster. Was it ICSI in the light of dh's issues? Waiting is the longest part. Do you allow yourself that longed-for glass of wine in the interim or do you keep your halo shiny? Sending you all my positive thoughts.

It's not good news from my little corner of the world. I tested at 5.30 and there was only one crappy line. I crawled back into bed, but neither dh nor I got back to sleep....we just lay there being silently but companionably miserable.

I'm exhausted with this. I just want to sleep for a month, but we've got a load of stuff going on...most of it good -we have 3 short breaks in August. But I've got to empty out a house ready for sale before then and that feels like a mountain to climb. It's the house I owned with xh, although I managed to buy his share when we split up. It's been let for years because I couldn't sell it before. Every time I go there it feels as if all of my energy is being sucked out of me.

I think we're just going to try to enjoy August. One of our breaks is in Bordeaux, so we're going to allow ourselves some lovely wine and just chilling out with friends and then come back and give this bloody roulette wheel one last whirl in the Autumn.

I'll be checking back from time to time to see how you lot are getting on....good luck....I'm willing you all on from the sidelines x

Purple I'm so sorry to hear your news. Will you keep taking the progesterone and test again over the next couple of days? You mentioned that you had a false negative early on in a previous pregnancy, right? Sending you lots of positive vibes - it seems as though you are dealing with it very pragmatically, which is a good way to be.

One thing that IVF has done for me is made me very grateful for the things I have got - an understanding husband, my health, (enough) money and a decent job. Something to feel positive about during the horrible ups and downs. Although I want a baby more than anything I try to remember that things could be much worse. You've got your holiday and lots of nicewine to look forward to, and it's great to hear you can try again in Autumn.

Moving house is a hideous exercise though. Hopefully you can get someone to help - I'm looking forward to the day when I win the lottery and can pay a minion to deal with that stuff for me .

Oh and good luck Shellster! 5 eggs is pretty good? Let us know how it goes, keeping my fingers crossed for you.

I think so Blue - I've got drugs to last until Friday, so I'll probably take them for another day or two or until AF appears. I'm feeling a bit AF-ish at the moment. All a bit rubbish. I just want to curl up in bed and stay there for a very long time. I know I need to call the clinic and tell them, but I can't summon the strength at the moment.

We're not moving house ourselves....just clearing 7 years of tenants' crap out of my old house. I shouldn't complain - I know we're lucky to have it - but I've spent so much more energy making that house nice than the one we live in - just for someone else to move in and leave loads of rubbish there. It's got a cellar, so all too easy to leave things behind rather than deal with them...

I know I have plenty of positives. I'm so very lucky to have ds, but I feel I've let him down by not being able to give him a sibling. It's beginning to feel quite final though - we're going to do one more fresh cycle and if we're lucky to have any frosties we'll try with them, and then we'll close the door and I'll just have to try to contain this grief that my little boy isn't going to have the sibling that he keeps asking for. That's the hardest bit. I found him sorting out old toys the other day - for when he gets a baby sister. He doesn't know we're doing IVF - he knows in vague terms that we have seen a doctor who is trying to help, but that it might not work, but he's not able to get his head around that.

Oh Purple, I nearly burst into tears reading your last post. I think sometimes people who are suffering primary infertility think you are lucky to have at least one child - and you are - but in some ways it's more difficult because you love your child more than yourself and it is worse not being able to remedy his longing than if it were just your own desire. I can imagine that having to clean out a whole house on top of this must feel like climbing a mountain. I think it took a week or so after my past IVF failures before I scraped myself off the floor so be kind to yourself.

Thanks guys. I guess you are right and 5 is okay. Don't know why I am feeling so negative. The surgeon said before EC "there's not many there but I'll get all I can" and then after I woke up, I heard the nurse tell the lady opposite me that she had 21 eggs! So really made me feel like my situation is crap. Yes Purple - ICSI for us. Just my luck, hubby got sick on the weekend and has been coughing with a rash so I don't know if that affected things. But my new clinic offers two things that my old cheaper clinic didn't - injecting calcium into the egg along with the sperm to up the fertilisation rate of the few I do get, and HA sperm selection which I also paid extra for. Needing it to be a case of quality over quantity but for whatever reason, not feeling hopeful.

I didn't seek therapy with alcohol Blue, but I did have a load of guilt free junk food today now that my eggs are out. If I get a phone call about fertilisation success tomorrow, I am going to start on the pineapple and brazil nuts and back to the healthy diet. Otherwise I'm definitely off to the bottle shop!

What's the news, Shellster? Hoping it's good...

Really sorry to hear your news purple. I find the sibling thing hard too although my son is nearly 10 now so I guess even if my cycle works will never have that close sibling relationship. On saying that, I have 2 brothers close in age and although we were quite close as kids we are not so much now so it doesnt always work out how you want it even if the basis is there. Hope you are taking care of yourself and remember its not the end of the road yet, theres every chance it will work next time.

Congrats on the 5 juicy eggs Shellster, also waiting on your next update...

Shellster - any news? We're all thinking about you!

As Carrie says, there's every chance it will work next time Purple. I wish it wasn't such a lottery but there really doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason to success/failure, especially on this message board!
If you are really set on a sibling, would you consider adoption if the IVF doesn't work out? I know it isn't the same as the real thing, but a couple of my friends have adopted and it has been the best thing in the world for both of them (one of them has two children already). My DH and I have decided to try to adopt if our third (!) round of IVF doesn't work. I guess it isn't for everyone though.

Of the 5 eggs all were mature.

My heart jumped for joy when nurse said that.
But then she continued ...only one fertilised
I know it's against the odds of a single embryo surviving to day 5
Will get a call with an update today.
Was told at previous day 2 transfer with old clinic that it should be 4 cells by day 2, so I will see what they say today.
I read that male genome kicks in after day 3, so even if it's good quality today, t could still go south tomorrow when hubby's sperm starts to play a role.
Has anyone ever been given any reason for poor fertilisation rate?
I need to have an answer before this IVF fails so that I don't fall in a heap, but can have hope that I can improve things next time.

Oh Shellster - that's gutting. Sending all my willpower in the direction of that one little egg. Big hug for you, too x

Thanks so much Purple. How are you feeling today? Are you still taking the medications or are you feeling AF symptoms?

I don't know if anyone has been given an explanation as to how to improve fertilisation rates?
Trying to do some research online but not much info there.
You guys had 100% fertilisation purple and blue, so can I ask what your protocols involved?
Will take this info to Dr after this cycle is over and see what she thinks.
I need to have a back up plan now so I don't fall to pieces when this cycle fails.

Hello lovely. I was paralysed with misery on Monday, but had to climb that mountain yesterday and having something very physical to do helped.

TBH, because it was my first cycle, I did exactly what the Drs told me and not much else (most unlike me!). I take 2 of these daily (and have done for the past 5 years). I drank 2 x litres of water and 1 x litre milk every day. If I drank anything else it was in addition - I did have coconut water before EC. And did the pineapple thing - core and everything - for the 5 days after ET.

Your problem is that it isn't really your problem, isn't it? If you can't get DH to do his bit, he's kind of sabotaging all your hard work. And that's not a very helpful comment, since that's the one thing that's really out of your control - xxx. I know I am very lucky in that regard: When we were about to ttc DS, all those years ago DH watched - completely coincidentally - a documentary about improving sperm count. I never actually saw the programme myself, he just told me that he'd been channel-flipping and he saw it. They took a football team, did SA, got them to stop drinking for 3 months and then did the SA again. All except two had radically improved their results, and the two that didn't admitted that they hadn't followed the programme. 4 of the team had conceived babies in the meantime. It made quite an impression....he gave up the beer/red wine and took the male version of the vitamins I've linked to. The not drinking thing lapsed for both of us when it took us years to conceive (both gave up for 6 months before ttc ds) - but much less than we used to. And we both gave up completely for the 3 months before IVF, on the basis that if we were going to throw that kind of money at the problem, we had to give it the best shot.

I suspect that we shall be taking solace in quite a bit of red wine during August!

Take care, be gentle on yourself...that little egg might just be the one. xxx

Shellster you must be feeling very disappointed - poor you. You're putting an awful lot of pressure on yourself to do everything right - and it seems to me that you couldn't have done anything more! You still have that one little egg, and I hope today you get some good news from the clinic. I've got everything crossed for you.

As Purple says, perhaps it's time for your DH to make a few changes. It's not easy though. If your husband is anything like mine, he may be very resistant to change. I'm still finding it a really irritating process. My DH has cut back on booze somewhat but he won't give up entirely. He did stop smoking though, which in his mind is all he needs to do! He is very fit and healthy otherwise I suppose. Anyway, I'm not sure what else you can really do Shellster but it sounds as though Mr Shellster might need to step up his game next time.

I did a quick Google search on 'poor fertilisation rate' and most the info seems to be related to sperm. Have you tried/discussed ICSI?

Like Purple I didn't do anything particularly special. I take 5mg folic acid daily, a pregnacare 'conception' multivitamin and I drink about 5l of water a day. I've always drank a lot of water, and I don't eat meat (only fish). I was on a long protocol with Buserelin and Gonal F. Can I be rude and ask what your BMI is? I remember my doctor mentioning something about BMI and fertilisation. I'm seeing him on Friday so I can ask, if you like.

Oh and I can get details of all my drug dosages etc later tonight if you like, Shellster. Can't remember off the top of my head and I'm at work at the moment.
Purple glad to hear you are feeling a bit better. Sending you best wishes from central London!

Aw Shellster Im thinking and praying for you and your little fighter x

Hi everyone, I hadn't realised how long it's been since I was last on here! It's been quite harrowing reading the last three pages. Three weeks of catching up in one go!

Purple, I don't want to say I'm sorry yet -- do you have any updates? Blue, what about you? Have you been accepted for the trial? I've got my fingers crossed for both of you!

Shellster, I hope everything is going well your end. Even if it's just the one, it's this a one, right?

Carriebella, where are you in the cycle? I seem to have missed where you said.

Happily, I am so happy for you! A heartbeat. That's amazing. I can't even begin to imagine how amazing that must be.

I'm going in this Friday for a laproscopy to have my fallopian tubes checked camera through the belly button, dyeworks, the lot AND my fibroids checked and, with luck, removed. I was lucky enough that the ACU at King's agreed to add the fibroid check onto the scheduled fallopian tube op; one anaesthetic, two procedures (and thank goodness, I really don't like anaesthetics and I would have had to wait months if they hadn't been able to fit both in). My period started yesterday, so I'm hoping it'll be finished by Friday so they've got a nice clear view of everything! In the meantime, my pregnant SIL very sweetly emailed me to forewarn me of her impending baby shower and to offer me a no-excuses get-out-free card if it was all too much for me. I was actually going to go, but as it happens I'll be flying home from Costa Rica (long-awaited two-week hols, w00t!) on the same day, so I can't make it anyway. Still, wasn't that kind of her?

I hope I haven't missed anyone -- please catch me up!

Shellster, that should have read 'it's still a one' -- proofread before posting, I have to remember that!

Purple, I used to take a similar vitamin to the one you take, but after 3 years and not a hint of a BFP, it all got a bit expensive. I figure I eat healthy very healthy anyway so I swapped to just folic acid - much cheaper (plus all IVF specific supplements). I was actually more after your actual IVF drugs and protocol information. I read another ladies story who had much better fertilisation rate when she switched drugs. Made me realise my best fertilisation rates were with Puregon only before I started adding Menopur to the mix. So I am hoping a change of protocol will help and hence, curious what you guys did since you got 100% fertilisation so I can take this info to my next appt.

Thanks blue for your protocol info. Will see what my Dr thinks about it. Very sweet of you to be google searching for me when I am sure you are busy enough and concerned about your next IVF, let alone mine too!

In the past, hubby thought that his sperm wasn't that bad (despite lab report showing otherwise!) and if I would just stop stressing and forget, it would happen. But when I told him about only 1 in 5 fertilising, he seemed to realise for the first time that it shows there really is an issue and if this IVF fails, he is now keen to try again instead of wishing I would forget. So it seems finally this 1 in 5 fertilisation is the evidence he needed and hopefully he is less resistant to change for better success next time.

Emma, what an amazing SIL you have! Most wouldn't even consider that it might be difficult for you, unless they'd been through infertility themselves. You sound keen to get those fibroids out so I hope it works out for you. Probably you have been left wondering if that was the reason for implantation failure last IVF, so one less thing to worry about next go.

I just left a message for my nurse to check on my one embryo. I read that 80% of embryos make it to day 3, but only 30-40% make it to day 5. Today is day 3 so even if all is okay, it's no guarantee. As you say blue, I have tried to do everything perfect and while the low number of eggs is out of my control, I can only hope that my high protein diet, acupuncture, supps etc has improved the quality of this one precious emby.

Hello carrie. Where are you at now with everything? I've lost track!

Oh, and blue, I don't mind you asking about BMI at all. It was 24 but I seem to have put on 3kg since starting IVF. Knowing it could up my fertilisation rate is a great motivator to lose those 3kg, and then a couple extra.

Would love to hear your doctors opinion on how to increase fertilisation rate. If this IVF fails, I will have to wait about a month to get an appt with my IVF Dr, so it will be a long wait otherwise. But I don't want to take time away from your appt and affect your IVF outcome so no need to ask for me specifically - only if he mentions it. Actually, would love to hear all the advice he gives you since our situations are similar in that we are both the same age and both don't make many eggs.

Hello ladies. I couldn't post yesterday, as all my strength deserted me and I completely fell apart. I utterly ripped into dh because he stayed late at work instead of getting home to help me sort things out before our break (camping for a few days with friends from today). He's a very strong and silent type and we hadn't really talked since the bfn (normally this constitutes me talking/crying and him hugging me and nodding and saying "I don't know what to say" periodically, and me saying "you don't really need to say anything, I just need you to be there" - but we hadn't even done this). It got to the point where it all just boiled over and screaming harridan purple escaped from the bottle. I was really cross with him for not getting that I had been taking drugs for the last month that have conned my body into thinking that it's pregnant (- I've found the FET drugs worse than the fresh cycle ones - think my body doesn't like the oestrogen) and that now it isn't and I'm physically and emotionally crashing. And was absolutely exhausted from sorting out the rental house/working etc.....

We had a big row, and then he ran me a bath, tucked me into bed (about 9.30!) and ran me a bath. Had a really good night's sleep and feeling a bit better now.

I didn't carry on the drugs. I decided that I was just deluding myself and prolonging the pain. I got AF yesterday (that's going to be fun, camping, isn't it?). Just trying to work out what we do next. I think I want to know more about failure to implant before we embark on another cycle....we had two excellent embryos that didn't take, and I now that I have had a number of very early pregnancy losses in the last four years, so I want to check out killer cells etc - anyone know anything about those?

Sorry Shellster - completely misunderstood what you were asking. My protocol was 0.5 ml Buserelin from day 21, then 450 iu Menopur. I took Menopur for 8 days (2 less than planned as I was ready to go) then the trigger.

Glad that Mr Shellster has listened at last and that he's supporting you a bit more now. Here's hoping that makes the difference. What's the news on your embryo? Hoping it's good news xxx

Thank you everyone for your kind words. And good to from you again Emma

Purple, it's crushing just reading what you're going through; it's all so familiar. And 'conned' is right!! That is exactly how I felt after our cycle, like I'd colluded in conning myself. I was so angry at everything. Having a massive shouty meltdown was probably precisely what you needed. It sounds like your DH came through in the end, which is also precisely what you needed. I hope today you're feeling less compressed.

I've also been wondering about killer cells, etc., because I've had two very early-stage miscarriages, plus now this failed IVF. I don't know anything about it, though it is something I'm planning on doing more research into. When I go in tomorrow, I'll see if I can remember to ask about it through the anaesthetic (I should be seeing our lead consultant) and I'll report back.

In the meantime, Purple, be kind to yourself. Give yourself space to grieve but don't let the darkness cloud everything else. Sending positive thoughts your way. x

Ha ha! Yes, dh definitely came through in the end. Trouble is, he comes from a terribly old-school family, whose upper lips can probably be measured on the moh scale. He is a little more able to talk about his feelings, but only a little. By contrast, my family all talk about how we're feeling - repeating at a louder volume (tears optional) if the message isn't heard! I definitely needed to let it all go though - feeling much better today.

Good luck for tomorrow, Emma - yes, let's both find out what we can about killer cells - I've got a debrief with our consultant next Weds - and compare notes.

Right. Holiday holiday holiday.

I have heard of killer cells purple, but never researched it further. As we have one previous child, I thought it must mean everything is okay? I just feel your pain so much and have thought over the last few days what practical suggestions I could offer. The one thing that came to mind is PGD. I know that statistically, the older we get, the more eggs we have with chromosomal abnormalities. From what I have read, chromosomally abnormal embryos still make it right up to day 5, just to give us false hope! Perhaps that would help to select the best embryo for fresh transfer, or at least give you more information as to what is going on. But I don't know how much more expense that will add to the cost of IVF. At least perhaps do some research on it and you might come up with a few ideas for your next IVF. I hope this suggestion isn't offensive. I just found that's what helped me pick myself up off the floor after 6 IVF failures; working out how to resolve the issue so I could improve my odds and have hope for the next IVF.

As for me, my last update was yesterday which was day 3. My embryo was at 10 cells. The day after EC when I found out 1 of 5 fertilised, I went home from work and cried, thinking it was game over. But yesterday I got a day 3 update that it's still going, and thought 'Hang on, this might just make the distance'. I forgot to ask about grading. then read online research shows the number of cells on day 3 is more important than grading, and that it should be at 6-10 cells. I then got more excited, with mine in the top of the range at 10 cells.

I can't help but feel a little excited now. I have only had 2 day two transfer in the past so I have never seen my embryo make it this far. But I worry I am getting my hopes up too early and just have further to fall. Especially after following purples, emma's and others journeys on here who seem to get a day 5 blastocyst and all it has to do is implant at day 6, yet it still doesn't happen.