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Original poster

Didn't know whether to feel sorry for this journo..

62 replies

Twiglett · 09/08/2005 19:48

Sunday Times Article praising older women without kids .. some kind of we can still party piece

made me feel incredibly sad for the journalist TBH ..

OP posts:
motherinferior · 09/08/2005 20:32

No, they would not ! But no, they're not sad; as I say, I think one of them would have liked to have had children but she doesn't strike me in any way as an unfulfilled person - and three others are so very clear about it that two of them have opted for sterilisation. To be honest, they live their lives with rather more poise, determination and scope for enjoyment than I do (although admittedly that's not difficult).

Caligula · 09/08/2005 20:34

All the friends my age who don't have children, want them.

Isn't that amazing, that's just off the top of my head. Trying to think if I have any friends my age (ish) who are happy to be childless.

Ah yes, one. She never wanted children, ever, and is perfectly happy without them. All the others wanted and never got, or are still working on it.

bobbybob · 09/08/2005 20:48

Articles like this never work for me because she literally will never know what she is missing - you can't.

I would never go on and on about the joys of only having one child - because I simply have no idea what life would be like with 2.

tallulah · 10/08/2005 17:32

I read the article and for each example thought "oh grow up"! The things she describes are what you do from about 15 to your early 20's, then they cease to be entertaining & are just plain dull... If that is her idea of a fun life without children, then I can only be thankful I have 4

Pruni · 10/08/2005 17:36

Message withdrawn

FairyMum · 10/08/2005 17:45

I think it's easy to tell the difference between women who are relaxed and happy about their choice not to have children, and women who are desperatly trying to convince the world how happy they are being single and no kids. It's funny how Kate Moss seems to be the perfect mother to many childless women.......

Pruni · 10/08/2005 17:49

Message withdrawn

Caligula · 10/08/2005 17:53

What is the mothering mafia?

Pruni · 10/08/2005 17:56

Message withdrawn

Caligula · 10/08/2005 18:00

I have to say, i never noticed it! Maybe I'm very thick-skinned.

I did notice that people who were parents at work did chat about their kids and ask about how they were doing, but I just always took that as them having another thing to talk about - like men and football. And I didn't think they looked like they were excluding others. I think that probably comes from your own perceptions, rather than the actions of mothers per se. And why on earth should we be blamed for the warped perceptions of non-parents?

logic · 10/08/2005 18:03

I feel really sorry for her. Definately an air of desperation there. One day she might look back on her life and think 'Is that all I did? Go to parties?'
A bit bizarre to suggest that you have to be single to live life on your own terms. I am living life on my own terms. I chose to get married and have children.

Caligula · 10/08/2005 18:05

I don't understand what living life on your own terms actually means. Can someone explain it to me?

logic · 10/08/2005 18:36

I suppose what I mean by it is that I am happy with my life the way it is. Obviously, we all get cr@p thrown at us that is unforeseen and unwanted but generally speaking, I've got enough of what I've always wanted to be happy. I'd like a Ferrari 430 Spider too but hey ho that's not going to happen.

monkeytrousers · 10/08/2005 18:39

Doesn?t having a child to some degree free you from all that endless self-examination and justifying? What she fails to say is that the endless party scene is an utterly shallow, destitute place and no-one wants to be the aging party girl in the corner who cries into her (post-feminist) pint after she's had one too many and gets her tits out in a drunken attempt to upstage the younger starlets. That's what its like at the Green Room anyways..

monkeytrousers · 10/08/2005 18:42

She's a Sex and the City fantasist, IMHO. Someone should tell her that Samantha was a gay man.

Pruni · 10/08/2005 19:56

Message withdrawn

monkeytrousers · 10/08/2005 20:02

Yes, you do have to tread carefully. My SIL has been trying to conceive for a year no but it's just not happening.

There'll be reactionary ricochets to and from this piece in letters to the editor for days I reckon...I'll read it on the bus if someones left a copy lying around

ssd · 10/08/2005 20:19

fairymum, I completely agree with you,

It's funny how Kate Moss seems to be the perfect mother to many childless women.......

A cousin of mine told me she considers her SIL to be a great mother as she still does her hair and make up . Doesn't matter that this woman would leave the baby with anyone for a few nights to get her "me" time (at 4 weeks old) and many more weekends away since not that theres anything wrong with a break but her baby spends more time with strangers than it's own mum. But as she has the full face on every day and to my cousin (who's childless) she's a great mum....

Original poster
Twiglett · 11/08/2005 08:35

at least we parents can be guaranteed we'll never have moments of 'existential loneliness' ..

I think I know why I reacted so badly to this piece .. apart from the fact its so badly written .. it actually reminded me of me in my late 20's and I have discovered so much more about myself since having children that I read it and see myself and feel sad for the desperation which emanates from every word

OP posts:
batters · 11/08/2005 09:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

monkeytrousers · 11/08/2005 10:06

It also has the whiff of straw! This version of vacuous faux-feminism has to be built up by the misogynous press so it can continue the argument (with itself) that feminism is redundant and make it appear like an open and shut case.

bundle · 11/08/2005 10:14

hear hear batters. i suspect the reason this kind of article is trotted out so regularly is that editors feel they need to have polar opposites in a piece to make a point - ie you can't be reasonable or even agree with others who have made different life choices (or that you might even change your mind yourself one day) because that's not a "good argument". I thank God I don't work in that kind of environment

bundle · 11/08/2005 10:16

..and I'm sure I read an article in which Tracy Emin said she'd now like to have children & be a bit dull

monkeytrousers · 11/08/2005 10:17

I've always felt sorry for Tracy Emin. She's always struck me as a bit of a lost soul.

bundle · 11/08/2005 10:19

she was singing the praises of Lidos in an article the other week, I think she's made a few lifestyle changes already