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MN = Cyber-Bully In DM YOU magazine

65 replies

changefortoday · 20/04/2010 13:33

DM Couldn't find any threads about this. Has it been discussed ?
In the papers agin. Shame , if it was 7 years ago then she joined before even most of us. Bit sad.

OP posts:
StewieGriffinsMom · 21/04/2010 08:40

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WebDude · 21/04/2010 23:05

"It?s also worth noting that many Mumsnet users seem to be online for vast chunks of the day and into the night."

Clearly they have never heard of the web being used internationally, people sometimes having a sleepless night, or being a carer, or working shifts and wanting to unwind a little afterwards.

TheShriekingHarpy · 22/04/2010 14:33

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Isaidheyhoney · 22/04/2010 14:39

ClickNegg - you KNOW it's your fault.

StewieGriffinsMom · 22/04/2010 16:49

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porcamiseria · 22/04/2010 22:40

there is some truth in this I have to say

I agree that its the guilt issues that (often) get people riled

marytontie · 22/04/2010 22:46

lots of truth in this.
There is so much good in mumsnet.

There is also a small number of very prolific posters who can be extremely nasty.Like the school bullies they have lots of followers

Regulars know who I am talking about

bibbitybobbityhat · 22/04/2010 22:51

Mary. I am a regular. Been posting here nearly 4 years and I have a look in most days. I honestly do not know who you are talking about.

flox99 · 22/04/2010 23:03

check the relationship threads bibitty, I see where Mary is coming from

AnyFucker · 22/04/2010 23:12

mary/flox

why don't you name who you are talking about ?

you are dying to, obviously

stop dropping wide hints and have the courage of your convictions

the sly digs are worse than the upfront plain speaking as far as I am concerned

BoysAreLikeDogs · 22/04/2010 23:13

I am about as regular as you can get, I practically live here and I haven't a clue either

so ner

Joolyjoolyjoo · 22/04/2010 23:17

Revelation: put lots of women in a room and some of them might start bitching- really

Has it not (unfortunately) always been this way- at school, at uni, at work, at the school gates..probably in the bloody old folks home! It's the way (some) women are. To expect a website full of women to be any different is naive, IMO

To me MN represents a slice of society. I don't see anything on here that I don't see in RL- lots of support, friendships, discussions, and sometimes bickering. But it's far easier to turn off the computer and walk away than it is to deal with nasty situations in RL. I have never felt bullied here. Maybe because I've never really gone out of my way to provoke anyone, I don't know. I have disagreed with posters on here, but I like to think it's always been in a calm rational way I don't really like abuse-hurling posts- I don't see the need for them, and it weakens the posters argument, I think. But I don't mind the bluntness that sometimes exists on here- much more refreshing than the bitching behind people's back you sometimes see in RL!

AnyFucker · 22/04/2010 23:24

mary/flox ?

no ? nothing further to share ?

until the next sly dig ? Get over yourselves, seriously

Jajas · 22/04/2010 23:33

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

marytontie · 22/04/2010 23:35

Anyfucker why should I name them?
They know who they are. Anyway not everyone agrees with me . It would be very rude to name names .

No "sly digs "intended, but even if they were, is that REALLY worse than insulting and name calling that goes on in MN which is what the OP 's link was about?

Jajas · 22/04/2010 23:40

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

marytontie · 22/04/2010 23:41

Mumsnet is more supportive than anything else that's why we keep coming back

shockers · 22/04/2010 23:43

There are some threads which go nasty.

There are also many funny threads which can really cheer a girl (or boy) up and many incredibly supportive threads full of women with compassion and empathy.

It's a bit like life really...

Do you think the education thread may have been a Steiner one?

thumbwitch · 23/04/2010 00:50

but some people don't come back after they have been on the sharp end of a "cyber-bashing" - one regular who I used to chat to regularly deregistered because of this and the general nastiness on some threads she was on, and I'm sure she's not the only one.

Perhaps she was too sensitive - or perhaps the other posters took the "it's only words on a screen" thing too far, I don't know - but I for one believe that you are mostly real people, not internet gremlins or hairy truckers and should be treated with the same consideration you would in RL. Unless you are a troll, in which case all bets are off.

marytontie · 23/04/2010 00:56

thumbwitch I have a RL friend who did exactly that too - left after she perceived to have been ganged up on by a bully and her posse.

SHe was really shaken by it. I do not know her that well but she does not strike me as particularly sensitive . That was a point she made too - if people had said some of those things in real life (it would never happen) she could probably have had them charged.

thumbwitch · 23/04/2010 01:06

I'm not surprised, mary - it can be pretty intimidating! There are some very strident posters who believe that it IS only words on a screen and that as they are not affected by such then no one else should be either - and they seem to take this as licence to be as rude as they like. IMO. Although I have seen them be kind when they thought it was necessary.

Tortington · 23/04/2010 01:15

the "it's only words on a screen"spiel really gets my goat. it's so much more than that for most people. people who get support and help, people who go to meet-ups, the people who get involved in charity events...

there is a lot of good here on mumsnet and there are many days that i couldn't have done without the invaluable support and advice.

I have recently had a friend who has deregistered after she became upset and she decided that if it was affecting her emotionally on a negative level she should do without.

what i think is lacking since about 2003 actually, is just the common courtety to say sorry.

if i have a pov - i will express it. sometimes the way which i do so can be brash, if someone told me that i had offended them, i hope i do apologise.

however i have seen many threads - too many, where the OP has got the wrong end of the stick - been pounced on and then said sorry and then continues to get pounced on. An apology is taken as a sign of weakness here. this is the shame of it all i think

thumbwitch · 23/04/2010 01:24

You're right custy - but sometimes it isn't that the apology is a sign of weakness, just that people don't bother to read the whole thread (especially if it's got a bit long) and just respond to the first post so miss the apology/clarification.

There was one such quite recently and it got very tedious that people kept jumping in and vilifying the OP, even after she had given plenty of justification for why she felt that way and most posters who had stuck with her had completely changed their minds - the new ones just hadn't read further than the op.

Words stay in your mind, they poison your thoughts and make you feel bad - yes it's easy to say "don't let that happen" but it's not that easy to DO, especially if it's something that has happened a lot to you in RL as well.

Tortington · 23/04/2010 01:26

yes i think you are right. there should be somesort of adendum button,where you could add to the op - so the op would remain the same - so the following posts would be seen in context, but you could add to it.

Tortington · 23/04/2010 01:27

in a seperate box or colour or something