Teaching schoolchildren not to engage in domestic violence

[Deadworm]

Apologies if there is already a thread on this govt announcement. I was quite shocked by the news that the government is instructing schools to hold lessons on the subject of domestic violence.

My first thought was despair that we actually needed to tell children that it was not right. But my rapidly following thought was that the lessons probably would make a difference, would erode children's sense that the violent context of their own family is normal and the way of the world, would contrbute to a culture where domestic violence is at last regarded as unacceptable.

Thinking of my own sons I feel reassured but sad to think they will be exposed to these lessons.

Further thoughts:

Will the lessons avoid the pitfall of concentrating on telling potential victims how to keep themselves safe, rather than telling potential perpetrators not to offend?

The government is instructing schools to hold these lessons. It is shocking how educational culture has changed in a generation. When I was at school any central dictat would only come from a French government to French schools.

I am nmost concerned about who is going to teach these lessons. Trainee teachers are going to be taught how to cover this highly sensetive issue but what about us old time teachers?

When I joined my school 10 years ago it was standard practice that form tutors taught one lesson a week of PHSE. I was totally unprepared for this. I had to cover topics such as sex education, bereavment, terminal illness etc and I had no training at all. (I teach ICT) Thankfully my school now has a department set up to teach this but not all schools do. I would not be happy if I had to start covering this topic with my students on a class basis as I don't have (thankfully) any experience of this and would feel totally out of my depth. There is no mention of how this will work and although I am pleased that it becoming a priority as it really needs addressing i'm not sure this will work.

Refuge have just been on the radio saying that funding is a crisis for them, yet the government are funding these ridiculous schemes.

Support for families suffering from abuse is surely more productive?

Maybe some of the children who do experience this at home will use it as a way of exposing their situation.It may give them an opener to talk and to realise this is not normal behaviour.children are masters at hiding these things

well yes, but funding helplines or volunteers or even housing doesn;t sound as good as a new schools program, does it?

(and is it program or programme? I get confused)

So, what some of you seem to be saying is that if the child's home life leaves much to be desired it's tough?

The types of parent who do not deliver the correct messages/behaviours at home are not going to change because it's not on the curriculum at school. Saying that putting it on the curriculum lets parents off the hook is pointless - these parents don't feel on the hook in the first place.

Talking specifically about d/v twds women as that is statistically the biggest issue with one woman per week murdered by her partner-
It goes without saying that for domestic violence towards women to stop, there needs to be a shift in male attitudes towards women, which is a very difficult and slow process. When you research the statisitics - as I have for an MSc - it is shocking to see what our generation and young people really think is ok and acceptable when it comes to women and it is an attitude which is deeply embedded in our culture. So if a discussion about this and d/v is facilitated at school at an appropriate age I don't have a problem with this. I think though that it should be an age where kids can really engage and have a useful and meaningful discussion.

EffiePerine Wed 25-Nov-09 12:55:06

"is there ANY evidence that this actually works for real children in the real world? If not, why not put the money into programmes that DO work?"

It may be that they are looking at other countries where such teaching has been going on for a long time, and where a number of social problems are also less in evidence. I think that's what's been happening with the sex education: hey! the Swedes have had sex education for 40 years and have far fewer teen pregnancies- if only we could be like them!

What you can't do, of course, is prove cause and effect. There are so many other factors, which it may be impossible to do something about. This is one you can try- so they do.

I don't see any opposition between reading and citizenship though- you have to read about some kind of subject anyway, so why not this?

i have to leave now (rl stuff to do) but i wanted to say that schools have always been places of moral teaching as well as scholastic. this is not a new thing.

the church (when schools were largely church-based) and 'society' in general have always had a desire to teach children how to be 'good people' as well as how to read and write.

I'm not saying we shouldn't discuss DV or raise awareness or (most imp) ensure people can access help if they need it. But our education system is unwell, we have school leavers who do not have the skills and knowledge they need to a) sit a degree or b) work. Which is something I'd like to see the government addressing.

And isn't this at secondary level? So we're not talking about replacing reading, but what about history, geography, science? What about the percentage of schoolchildren who thought the swastika was an Olympic emblem? (I may be making that one up, at least I hope I am).

Yes we need time for PSHE topics but we need to see significant effort and funding going into Teaching Children Stuff. Why not have a range of topics that can be covered in these lessons/discussion times (as was the case back in the dark ages when I was at school) rather than telling schools EXACTLY what to teach, no doubt with lesson plans and deliverables and lots of nice shiny management speak.

Belle, what we are saying is that parents need to take a lot more responsibility. I personally would like to see mandatory parenting classes for these parents. I would like to see a system in place that, even if a battered mother doesn't want to press charges, the children can be taken into care until she gets out of the abusive relationship. Harsh? I don't think so because children who witness abuse are more likely to be abused or abusers themselves.

There also needs to be greater powers to prosecute perpetrators, whether the victim presses charges or not.

Greater discipline in schools would also help. No more "oh but poor Jonny has a problem with other children so when he tips over the tables and chairs and runs out of class, we need to be gentle with him." Bollocks!

I was once told off for disciplining a child who threw a crisp packet on the floor. The little brat refused to pick it up, called me a spaz and ran out of school. I was told that he had a problem with confrontation and I should have spoken gently to him - WTF?

Children are growing up with no respect for anyone or anything because they've been allowed to get away with things all their life. People are too scared to intervene, too scared to confront, too scared to make a stand.

If schools really want to help they can enforce discipline and rules, teach children right from wrong and teach them about consequences. Stop the softly softly approach with children and parents because it isn't working.

Rhubarb - yep, agree 100%.

Bit concerned about the continuing belief that the abused become abusers as this is not always the case by any means. That said, without education or empathy it is probably more likely.

i would think that most abuse is going to happen in live in relationships,i.e once our dc have left home (not all obviously)

once they are in their own homes at 16,17,18 and 19 they are beyond our reach of parenting....they will keep it hidden behind close doors,they won't want to 'bother' us or feel ashamed....

better that they know now. better that the perpatrators know that any would be victims will know how to deal with it and better that everyone knows that 'womens aid' is not just for women

Belle, I was emotionally abused and I think it was only with my sister and some bloody good friends behind me that I haven't become a victim or a perpetrator myself.

I still think that I am overly harsh on my own kids at times and I have to stop myself repeating the parenting I learnt from my mother.

I also think I was lucky in the fact that my disgusting and emotionally abusive stepfather wasn't properly on the scene until I was around 11. But he did damage enough.

Ah, Rhubarb, I'm so sorry...

I was abused in other ways (not by my parents) and I grew up in a very violent and unpredictable household (my dad's an alcoholic) so I think I know what you mean.

I suppose I'm overly sensitive about the abused/abuser thing. I'm sorry if I came across as insensitive or "holier than thou".

Don't worry, you didn't

i mean with regards to young girls...they will help advise. but if a girls in late teens needed help,would she call somewhere called 'womens' aid?

I agree with custys comments,

and in addition, this worries me terribly, the thought of burdening our children with the weight of understanding how to deal with DV when half of us probably wouldnt know how to deal with it ourselves. i think the idea is misguided and possible make the children feel like they should be doing something to stop the DV in their own home, which ontop of what is already happening to them make them feel responsible about doing sometihng about it (by explaining i to them are we giveing them responsibility and shared ownership of resolving the problem)

im probably not explaining myself very well, I hink this idea is misguided and we should be targetting this problem top down not from children up iykwim

I agree with custardo

The govt are damned if they do damned if they don't really.IMHO anything that brings it more into the open and makes it easier to talk about has to be welcomed even if there are other things needed to it is a start.

too