so what's yr take on having to sell yr house when old to fund yr care home?

[herjazz]

so in light of this what dyou reckon?

Whilst I think care for the elderly is pretty shoddy and needs looking into, I'm not against folk with reasonable assets paying towards it. Why do they need to own a house they are not living in? Why should inheritance be seen as an automatic right?

I could be due to inherit loads off my folks - but if they end up having to cash in their assets to pay for more appropriate housing and care requirements then surely that's just them using THEIR money as they should? I shouldn't be moaning their assets stay intact and untouched so I can cream off them once they are dead?

There is an old lady living alone in a house on my road that would easily sell for £600,000. She could buy another house here, in the same postcode, with a garden, all done up, but much smaller at say 2 or 3 bedrooms for £400,000. Or even a flat with a garden for £250,000. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that if I am in her position at her age I will downsize and enjoy the money, employing a private cleaner and carer if necessary, in my own small flat, rather than having to sell up to go in to residential care.

I would be very keen to live communally in a place with good clean accomodation, my own private space if I wanted it and someone to look after everything else.

I lived in a such a place until quite recently with my family. It was lovely. It was like having servants and it was very affordable too. I do not want to be lonely living alone in a houue I cannot manage.

A lot of older people sort of do this by giving their house to their children and they then build a 'granny flat' attached or in the garden. That way they have a family nearby but still some independence.

Lynette - when you've spent your entire live being independent and proud of it - to suddenly find yourself having to be looked after can be tremendously degrading and difficult to deal with.

Take your life now - you can do everything for yourself yes? You can (to a degree) choose what time of day to eat/sleep/work/bath, what to eat, you wash yourself, you dress ourself. You dictate pretty much how your day to day life is run.

Imagine you woke up tomorrow and found that you had very little control over your life any more. That you couldn't just pop into the kitchen and make yourself a snack when you felt like it, that you couldn't suddenly decide to have a bath at some odd hour of the day, that someone else planned all your meals for you (you'd get a choice, but it's limited), someone washes you, or at least guides you when washing, they help you dress.

That meal times were at a set time (possibly quite different from your current meal times), that you were suddenly thrown in with a large group of people you'd never met before and were looked after by a constantly changing group of people (even if they have low staff turnover the nature of shift work means that you'll probably have several different people caring for you each week)

That you couldn't just pop down the shop/pub/park whenever you felt like it.

That someone else had overall control of your life (yes a good place will do an individual care plan that will take into account your needs and preferences, but such is the nature of these places that you'll have to end up compromising on a lot of it).

As long as you don't get dementia bibbitybobbitycat - or some other illness. As soon as you need any sort of care, you are likely to lose your home, your savings and your pension.

Have you never shared a flat Anna?

This is what I am talking about when I say my parents and gparents generation have never experienced communal living. They usually went from living with their family to living with their spouse.

Whereas us younger ones have experienced other types of living as an adult outside the home we were brought up in. And, heaven help us, maybe even enjoyed it.

To say that communal living is degrading is just preposterous.

I've never shared a flat (or a house).

And it's all very well making a concious decision to share a flat or a house (where lets face it - ok there's "house rules" to follow - but you can still pretty much life your life as you want to live it with pretty much the same freedoms).

It's another thing entirely to suddenly find yourself in a care home. A care home is nothing like sharing a house or flat with someone. (or at least no care home I've ever been in has been like that)

I have been round large numbers of care homes. Most of them are not places I would want to live in, or put my mum in. The one she is in now is nice - it is privately run, very expensive, but not perfect by any means.

The fees can go up any time, to any amount, without notice. Once all the money is used up, she could be moved to somewhere dreadful and there would be nothing we could do about it.

If we could have kept her at home we would have done, believe me. We still have to be in touch with the care home manager on a very regular basis, just to make sure important things are't neglected or forgotten. It is still an almost full time job - the good thing is that we can have nights and weekends off, and hold down a day job.

alwayslookingforsnswers..I have given it quite a bit of thought.

During stays I've had in hostpital I've become mighty cheesed off...so can undertand the points you are making.

The home my DH's grandmother stayed in made a huge differnce to her, and I will be eternally gratefull to the staff that worked there at the time.They bought back a twinlek in her eye that had been absent for the previous two years.

Maybe I'm not independant and proud enough to not want to be cared for by other people.DH has told me if he ever loses the use of his legs, he would like to be shot. , but having had a father who needed 24/7 care, I have often thought what it must be like, and have put myself in his shoes. Personally I wouldn't want to go into a care home, and selfishly, secretly hope my DD and one of my DS's will be around to care for me if necessary.

Over the last few years the government have been directing financial help towards families with children. Very admirable, but persoanllly I would have prefered it if the money had gone towards the elderly, although I understand this would actually have been much more expensive. (Or so I'm told)

The home help my grandmother has was an absolute "gem". she even came to her funeral. Maybe we should be looking at recruting more quality home help, increasing their pay form the minimum wage,providing more trianing in geriatrics and not looking at their profession as being the lowest of the low. It 's not a glamerous job, and not one I coudl easily do.

I have huge respect for a freind of mine (on teh minimum wage or similar) who works with geriatrics, and those with dementia.

Well, quite, alfa.

Which is precisely why, when I am older, I would try to find a way to pool my resources with a friend, whilst we are still physically and mentally capable, to live together and look after each other, rather than move into residential care.

I am fully versed in sheltered accommodation, residential care and nursing care having seen my grandma go through the whole system not so long ago.

When she was in sheltered accommodation she could quite easily have lived with 1 other, if the 1 other had been able to get out to the shops tbh.

bibity - that pot of money you'd make from selling a big house to downgrade to a small would be used up pretty quickly.

You could be looking at a minimum of £500+ for a private carer (even if they don't offer much more than companionship - if you need "care" then those costs will increase dramatically). £26,000 a year, plus if you need to make modifications to your new home to allow you to stay there you'll probably looking at £10,000's.

Alfa - I'm assuming we've crossed posts here?

Otherwise, I don't think you quite get where I'm coming from.

yes we did cross posts.

Still think it's a bit of a risk when you're talking about having at least one of you "able" to go to the shops etc. What if the more "able" one suddenly becomes less able??

Well, then, sadly, you have to re-think. But in the intervening years you have been living independently without being in residential care .

I think we really are talking at crossed purposes!

so the person living with you would be your carer effectively??

Don't be confused!

Two old people who have a lot of equity in their homes sell up and buy one property between them.

They suddenly have lots of cash to spend on themselves so can get a private cleaner and carer and meals and wheels in to look after them.

Perhaps one of the old ladies is more mobile than the other and can get out to the shops for bits and bobs. And the other is a better cook and still capable of using the stove safely etc.

They look after each other and look out for each other.

They probably delay the need to go into sheltered accommodation or residential care for 5 or so years. Still have the freedoms to do what they want when they want, have their own furniture, have their own garden to potter around in. Etc.

oh I see - so you're banking on having a couple of 100k

They would get everything for £8,000 - sounds too good to be true - what's the catch - what are the exemptions?

Why not pay the £8,000 - & then rent out your house whilst you stay in a care home - quids in.

The catch would be that most people would get nothing for their £8K. Its an insurance policy.

I think the £8000 sounds far too good to be true and just a sticking plaster. Frankly there is no guarantee a future Govt would not just back out of the deal after you had paid £8000 anyway.

If I had a lot of assets I would pay £8000 tomorrow to avoid paying care home fees and I am only 47.

They are banking on one in five people needing nursing care for an average of two years.

The thing is - who is going to decide you can go into a care home? Would it not be optimal to pay the £8000, sell your house, give th emoney away and then just go into a care home when you are quiet well?

I strongly suspect this is going to be severely rationed so that people will be on a waiting list or a care home place to come available - just like they are in the NHS now. The fees the opertors earn will also be severely restriced and service standards will be very poor as a result too.