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Why does the Times think it is ok to print this horrible article about "Breeders"

160 replies

MmeLindt · 19/09/2009 19:53

Shudder

I absolutely hate the term "Breeders".

Why do childless people think that it is ok to use terms like this? I don't go around thinking that I am superiour to them because I pushed a baby out of my fanjo. I would never refer to a childless person in such a derogatory way.

The comments are just horribly smug.

OP posts:
CommonNortherner · 22/09/2009 11:33

pmsl! It does kind of fit your post... that would be amusing, just launching a random attack on a previous poster for no reason whatsoever!

OrmIrian · 22/09/2009 11:52

Ohhhhhh god help me. I think I may have to sympathise with the woman.

I am in an openplan office and about 10ft away from me the ladies in the accounts dept and are being treated to the latest exploits, signs of advanced intelligence and general cuteness of someone's 3yr old. Has been going on for about 10 mins and I don't think anyone is really listening anymore.

And no, mother of said prodigy, recognising a parrot in a program about the Congo does not make your child a genius

hatwoman · 22/09/2009 12:30

it has to be said - I do know a handful of parents (4 - ie 2 couples in fact) who are parenting bores. but I also know non-parents who are bores. I think the ratio of boring to interesting people is pretty constant regardless of whether or not people are parents. boring people are generally the ones who talk about themselves, who don;t pick up vibes from their "audience" and who don't stop to listen.

Jux · 22/09/2009 15:07

My childless, partnerless friend and I manage to have long long conversations about all the things we used to have long conversations about before I got hitched and had dd.

Let me think, last time I spoke to her - a few days ago - it was about the stages of grieving and how best to deal with them, method acting, e-cigarettes, the smoking ban, politics in general and in particular (including the drug deal that went wrong between our Gov and Afghanistan), Wittgenstein, Bronte vs Austen vs Gaskell, Mozart, Purcell, Britten and Bowie and Dylan and after several hours we did mention dd.

I suspect the journo has little brain and knows people with little brains and thinks that's what the world is like.

Put that in your silly pipe and smoke it Ms Betts.

Maria2007 · 22/09/2009 15:44

Yes of course there are many parenting bores. There are people who (for various reasons, different for each one) are searching for an identity/vocation & find it through their parenthood. Nothing wrong with that, by the way, except in cases where it's shoved down other peoples' throats (e.g. talking about the kids' exploits on & on & ON).

However. This article is stupid, spiteful, & unimaginative.

There's one thing it doesn't take into account. It's perfectly normal for new mothers (in particular) but also for new fathers to go on & on about their precious offspring. It would actually be unhealthy & kind of bizarre (and even pretentious, I would venture, i.e. 'look-at-me-I'm-still-talking-about-all-sorts-of-other-things-even-though-I-have-a-3-week-old-at-hom e kind of pretentious) to not do so, especially in those early stages. FFS, I was a non-breeder for 35 years. I waited a LONG time to have my son. I studied. I worked. I had fun. I read books. I talked to friends. I still do these things, now that he's (already!) 14 months. But for god's sake, they're only little for a short, precious moment in time. Let us have our moment, let us be indulgent parents & show off their pictures & talk a bit more about our babies than is considered to be good taste. It doesn't last long!! It would be a very closed-off, unimaginative person indeed (actually, a pretty cruel one) who wouldn't let new parents obsess a bit about breastfeeding (come on, how long does it last?!), about weaning (merely a couple of months) etc. I'm loving talking about my boy, I know it's only going to be a few short years of my life that I can be so interested in all his little delicious idiosyncrasies. Then he'll be a teenager & will say 'muuuuuum, leave me alone!!' And it'll all be over & I'll be (in spirit) a non-breeder again.

(It's a different story when mothers / fathers- although it's usually mothers I hate to say- don't grow out of that early star-eyed phase & go on & on for years on end).

Maria2007 · 22/09/2009 15:47

(It also all depends of course on who your audience is. I would never go on & on about my boy to people who- for various reasons- have some kind of sensitivity to the subject, e.g. are going through MCs, infertility etc. Nor would I go on & on when I'm talking to those who- frankly- I can see are not interested. But I have to guiltily admit that I'm becoming less & less interested myself in those who are uninterested in my boy. Call me a breeder if you must!! ).

TheDullWitch · 22/09/2009 17:02

I know Hannah Betts and she is an absolutely adorable, lovely sweet woman. Honestly. And she always brings presents for my kids when she visits. She was being arch and funny.

And she s right. I wouldn t like to be single/childless in this obsessively child-friendly age and have to listen to the dull school/kiddy shite we all come out with and have to pretend to be interested.

Mumsnet is a parenting forum, but real life is not by and large. And it is impolite and unkind for breeders (it is just a shorthand word I don t think it s offensive) to bang on about stuff that is not interesting to a whole group.

I do think some people forget how to talk to their childless friends when they have kids.

Maria2007 · 22/09/2009 17:09

Arch?
Funny?

I'm sorry, the term 'breeders' is VERY offensive. Not at all shorthand. If she wanted to use a shorthand term she could have used, well.....parents.

Maria2007 · 22/09/2009 17:16

I also want to ask: why is it that- even on MN- talking about children is immediately considered dull, 'kiddy shite', 'obsessional' etc? Why is talking about kids MORE boring than talking about anything else? To be honest, I find talking about kids fascinating. I also find talking about all sorts of other things fascinating (literature, movies, politics, whatever). What's wrong with doing both?

TheDullWitch · 22/09/2009 17:46

Nothing.

As long as you rein in the kiddie stuff in front of those who don t have kids. And too many people in mixed company don t do that. And that imho is very rude and unkind.

hatwoman · 22/09/2009 17:47

my last conversatoin with my childless single (best) friend was about...the merits of running an international development NGO on a voluntary basis; the difficulties inherent in working for NGOs; running, buying a house when you're single, nearly 40 and don't have much dosh, living in the country vs living in a town. kids didn;t come into it.

slyandgobbo · 22/09/2009 17:49

But why do all of these silly articles have to be written in such an extremist way? As a tactic, it's like a teenager trying to be annoying. It just insults everyone's intelligence. I agree she has a point. Which is almost completely lost because of the way she has expressed it.

CommonNortherner · 22/09/2009 18:11

There is already a shorthand word for people with children, it is "parents".

The word "breeder" is very offensive and usually used by people who call mothers "moos" and children "crotchfruit".

MaggieBeauLeo · 22/09/2009 18:13

TheDullwitch, be sure to ask her

"how's the flat love" next time you see her.

TheDullWitch · 22/09/2009 18:29

"crotchfruit" Never heard that one.

DillyTantay · 22/09/2009 18:30

dully
she DOES want a tan though I know she does

TheDullWitch · 22/09/2009 18:32

I just googled "crotchfruit" and found "loindroppings"

She doesn't need a tan, honestly, she has the most beautiful skin of any human being I have EVER met. Like milk, porcelain, all of those things. Absolutely poreless.

DillyTantay · 22/09/2009 18:33

oh do stop being nice.
tis nort orn.

coem to the miserable feckers thread in style

TheDullWitch · 22/09/2009 18:33

Oh, my COD!

DillyTantay · 22/09/2009 18:34

ahem.

MaggieBeauLeo · 22/09/2009 19:30

This is funny. LIke the time a poster turned up praising that serial marriage wrecker katie perkins (or hopkins) and it was katie perkins or hopkins.

UnquietDad · 22/09/2009 20:08

And anyway, why is "how's the flat?" such a bizarre choice of topic?

I had a young colleague who had just moved into a flat, and I knew it was perpetually in a state of unpacking/chaos/redesign, so asking her how it was going there was my way of asking her something about her life to start a conversation. Given that we usually only snatched 5 minutes over the photocopier or the coffee, it wasn't unreasonable.

I mean, yes, I'm sure, given an extra hour or so, we would have got on to the Middle East question, Barack Obama, The X-Factor and the terrible state of the buses, but really...

HerBeatitude · 22/09/2009 20:47

I'm a bit confused about the flat.

Maria2007 · 22/09/2009 20:50

Yes me too, not sure what's wrong with 'how's the flat'. Are all conversations in everyday life supposed to be about high culture & international politics in order for us breeders to be considered cool enough?

Pleeeeeeeease.

MaggieBeauLeo · 22/09/2009 20:57

Cos she said in her McARticle that she hates when people talk about their children and then say, "so em, Hannah, um, HOW's the flat?"

don't know why that's so annoying either. She could bore them talking about the different quotes she'd had for velux windows in the mezzanine bathroom IF SHE Wanted to.