Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
News
Original poster

After five girls, finally a boy

59 replies

belgo · 13/09/2009 07:41

here interesting, honest article about a father's thoughts when he had a son after five girls.

It's also an interesting article about wanting a big family and the economy of scale - something that I've noticed having three children.

Love all of their children's names. I would lvoe six children, but no way could we cope!

OP posts:
dilemma456 · 13/09/2009 09:54

Message withdrawn

jellybeans · 13/09/2009 11:05

I notice that on the whole men tend to hope for boys and women for girls. We had 3 DDs first, the 3rd being stillborn. I then had twin DS. I got so many comments 'oh your DH must be so happy now' etc etc and it felt weird as we would have been just as happy with DD had she survived. We just wanted a live baby/babies! DH loves his girls but he did admit (only after we actually had a boy) he always quite hoped for a boy each time.

I struggle with people that are openly desperate for one gender or the other as after 2 stillbirths and 2 miscarriages i just felt having any baby was a blessing.

On the topic of what is easier, so far I have found preteen/teen girls by far the hardest, even harder than boistrous twin boys put together. They can grind you down in a way that boys don't seem to. Still, boys can wreck your house in an instant! All are fabulous though in all.

castille · 13/09/2009 11:19

I know a family like this - 5 girls then 2 boys. But they have 7 children because they wanted 7 children, btw, not because they were desperate for boys.

bronze · 13/09/2009 11:19

I suspect Flamingos (and Podrick) right. I have 3 boys ones girl and find the girl the hardest but whos to say what they'll be like in 5 years time. Things may change.

Jelly beans not sure about that. The only times I wanted a girl was when I went into my sexing scan for my dc2. I think its becaus eI was convinced it was a girl so thats where my plans lay. Its was ds2 instead and I didn't care.

Original poster
belgo · 13/09/2009 11:20

girls can also wreck your house in an instant unfortunately!

But whereas boys's bad behaviour tends to be put down to them just being boys, girls' bad behaviour tends to be put down to them just being bad.

And any girl's behaviour that is considered un girl like, will be seen negetively, eg. put down to them being a 'little madam' as evidenced by a comment on this thread about independent little madams. Whereas independence in a boy would be seen a very positive thing.

I'm sorry about your losses jellybean, they do put the whole gender thing into proportion.

OP posts:
bronze · 13/09/2009 11:21

Meant to ssay I suspect the thing that might stop them from having more is the fear that the last birth put in them not that they now have their boy they can stop. Afterall a boy needs a brother right?

(disclaimer I don't really mean that last bit just that people have reasons for their decisions)

BethNoire · 13/09/2009 13:31

'Girls or boys are surely not harder, just different! Different people will find different sexes a harder challenge based on their own abilities and personality'

Exactly, I have 4 boys and would find a girl (if a stereotype) challenging as I barely manage my won ahir, hate girly things and laothed Barbie / Sindy all my own childhood. I was born to have boys (and indeed have a very mild version of a condition linked to testosterone LOL)........ Dh would have liked a girl in his family but we decided on 4 and had 4; there was no gender chasing involved. Nice to experience both I suppose, pesonally it worried me no more than that.

foxinsocks · 13/09/2009 14:14

isn't the little girl at the far right (in the front) the absolute spit of her mother! A gorgeous pic and his wife looks so happy and healthy in that pic (considering she has 5 girls and a newborn! I think I looked a wreck for blardy ages and the sort of wreck not even make up could disguise!)

limonchik · 13/09/2009 14:21

God the names are awful though!

ukrainianmum · 13/09/2009 14:26

I know one story which happened in our town in Ukraine.
we have a family with six kids. they had three boys one followed another one, not a big age gap. but they always wanted the girl. so they got brave and got prg again. at the end she gave a birht to three lovely... boys triplets!!!!
and to have six kids in UK is a lot, imagine in Ukraine!

bronze · 13/09/2009 14:31

Perfectly respectable names even if they're not to everyone taste

cory · 13/09/2009 14:58

Yeah, I was wondering what the male negative version of an independent little madam is. Ime a girl who talks back is called a little madam, a boy is called cheeky. Now which sounds more endearing to you?

My own memories of childhood is that I was more rumbunctious and straightforward, my brother was sensitive and into emotions. Keeping in with the crowd was enormously important to him; I couldn't give a toss. 40 years later, no change really. He is the one that wants to talk about his feelings: I'd be quite happy to just knock him over

Quattrocento · 13/09/2009 15:03

Gosh what a revolting bloke

cory · 13/09/2009 16:05

"Boys tend to fly the coop in a way girls do not. If Jane Austen had written a sequel to Pride And Prejudice, it?s reasonable to imagine that Lizzie and Jane would never have left Mr Bennet to a lonely dotage, married though they both were.
But knowing that a son will go out into the world and quite possibly not come back is part of the experience of having one. Moving on has been a hallmark of masculinity since our days as hunter-gatherers."

Nonsense. Elizabeth marries Mr Darcy and goes to live with him in Hertfordshire. Mr Bennett will be lucky if he gets a monthly letter and maybe an invite for the shooting season.

This Mr Brazier is in for a nasty shock if he expects his grown-up daughters to stay hovering round his chair and plumping up his cushion while his only son is "moving on" and going out into the world.

Why are journalists allowed to live in the 17th century, when the rest of the population is indeed moving on?

thedollshouse · 13/09/2009 16:11

I agree Balladofgaytony.

They have 6 children, whoopy do. Other than their immediate family who actually cares?

Quattrocento · 13/09/2009 16:23

This says it all:

"I was reminded of my inner caveman when I called a dear friend, an Irish cameraman with whom I have been in many scrapes and several war zones. I gave him the news that Jo was expecting a boy. His reply was heartfelt. ?You?re a man!? he yelled"

Only in the Daily Mail ...

cory · 13/09/2009 16:27

he's not a man, he's a right nutter

comewhinewithme · 13/09/2009 16:38

I have six dc eldest is ds all the rest are girls they all have their moments I don't think one sex is more difficult than the other.

Oh and My ds hated lego my dd has tons of it .

bronze · 13/09/2009 17:40

Now I'm no pedant Cory, but I'm sure she moves from Herts to Derbyshire

cory · 13/09/2009 17:44

Ah sorry, you may well be right. Still far to come to pour that cuppa.

bronze · 13/09/2009 19:04

Far enough when you drive let alone by (horse and) coach

nooka · 14/09/2009 06:22

He seems a little dark ages to me, and why should he assume that just because he wanted a son so does every other father (those "New Age Men") surely journalists should have some capacity for understanding that we didn't all have the same thought? I also wondered a bit about the wandering outside the maternity unit - was he not actually there for his son's birth, or was he visiting?

I do feel at least a bit sorry for his girls, because it certainly sounds like he expects to treat his son rather differently from them, and that sort of thing is fairly obvious IME.

cory · 14/09/2009 07:50

I feel sorry for any child whose journalist parent writes an honest article about their feelings: never the sort of thing you'd want to find in the archives or have someone bring to your attention when you're 16. A little less honesty would go a long way imho.

mummygirl · 14/09/2009 08:57

oh, this sort of thing makes me SOOOO angry! With my first, both DH and I were desperate for a little girl, which we got. But we had no idea what having a child feels like. As soon as we held her in our arms, we both admitted that gender didn't matter at all!

Then a boy arrived, a shock to us as we only had a list of girls'names. We were BOTH dreaming of our next little girl when his willy appeared between his tiny little legs. But we couldn't love our little man more.

And when I expected my third I was so often asked "how come you're having another one? i thought you already had one of each?". Like that's the point!

This man still lives in the dark ages and I second the feeling sorry for his girls!

EvilEdnasTwinSister · 14/09/2009 10:19

Ugh this article infuriated me, mostly because it is a very sensitive issue for me.

I have 3 DDs, and my DH still gets a constant stream of "Oh poor man, only girls" and "Did you never want a boy?" style comments, and the implication that as he has no son he is not really a "proper" man.

What they don't know is that we did have a son, but he was stillborn. It just grated that some people were so focussed on having one gender over another when my sole wish was to have a living baby.

Sorry for the ramble!! Struck a bit of a nerve!

Swipe left for the next trending thread