16 year old Bride Groom!

[sunfleurs]

Can you imagine if this was your child? I hope I am never an interfering MIL but I think I would be racking my brains to try to prevent this.

Do you know, I am starting to think we have got this whole society business set up the wrong way round.

There is such a drive to keep young people from having babies/coupling up/getting married etc, when really physically this is exactly what they want to do.

Maybe we should be having a long hard look at how to change things so that young people can get married and have their babies early and still have successful careers/lives.

I am only 32 (still like to think of myself as quite young), but this pregnancy compared to when I was 26 has knocked me for six. I can't help but wonder how much easier it would have been to have a couple of babies before say 25 and now be looking to kick off a career.

We seem to spend the most fertile times of our lives trying not to get pregnant/settle down and then we get desperate to do both of those things when it is much harder to do so. It is quite bizarre if you think about it.

I have been married for 11 years but was with my husband for 9 years before that (so 20 years together in total) and was just 14 when we started "seeing" each other.

First love can work out.

i've been with my dh since i was 18 and this month we'll have been together 20 years [married for 13 years].we've had some tough times but are really happy.i wish them well.

whether they are in love and it will last is one thing,only time will tell

BUT I do think their families have done them a dis service. All that money, gone on a wedding. Now the reality of living with someone else, on one income, trying to save up. foolish. and as for her choosing to give up her job in the current economic climate where jobs for the young are few and far between, plain daft

but they do look older, and happy -good luck to them - I would not want to be in their shoes starting out now

Iwish them luck, actually. It probably won't last, but let them enjoy it while it does. And doing the marriage-and-kids bit when you are young can mean that, by the time the kids are old enough to leave home, you are still young enough to restart your life.
Also, TBH they have thousands of years of evolutionary biology on their side WRT breeding at a young age. Though I personally prefer to do it the way round I did, ie not having DS til 39, each to their own.

If they were announcing a baby no one would raise an eyebrow as that is fairly usual nowdays so i can't really see why people are shocked that they have got married.

I don't have that many issues with young marriages, although I doubt I'd say that to my own children , but I worry about a couple without children who don't have a home of their own and yet give up one income voluntarily.

Doesn't this happen all the time on Eastenders and Corrie??

ROFL at "long term girlfriend" in this context and the very existence of the term "nail technician". Technician? Technician???????? What's a cleaner? A broom technician?

She looked beautiful and I wish them every happiness. But I hope she hasn't decided to be a full time housewife just becuse being a nail technician was deadly dull and at 16, she couldn't imagine finding a more interesting, fulfilling job or education course.

I agree with 4andnotout.

The girl's lack of ambition at 17 (giving up work after 3 months to be a housewife!!) is scary, but frankly, at least they're making a commitment rather than getting up the duff.

I said to DH, I think as a parent you have 2 choices 1) dissuade them, alienate them and have them run away to gretna, or 2) keep a close eye on them, support them, give them a fab wedding to be proud of, and be there for them when they need you. Marriages can work or break up whatever age you do it.

And he said

yes, and perhaps recoup some of the money spent on the wedding by selling it to the papers, those photos did not get there by accident!

He is such a cynic.

Your DH sounds great Pavlov - spot on!

Good luck to them. I've no problem with them marrying at their age but I would be concerned about the 17yo housewife. Not just from a waste of potential point of view but also economically speaking they will struggle to support 2 people on a 16yo decorators wage. If she can work, then she should work. Like others have said there are no children so she'd end up on her bum doing feck all. If I were her DP i'd be pretty miffed at that!

I don't know about marrying at such a young age, but I met DH when I was just 16 , we married a few years later and have been married over 27 years now. I am not sure about having children that young, as they put a strain on a relationship, especially one that is so young itself. We found it a strain after waiting over five years. I just think that as we were that little bit older when the children came along, we were more able to cope with the stresses. But that was us. I wish them all the luck in the world.

lol pavlov

i like the way your dh thinks.

Well if my DS wanted to do this, I would let him. Because if it doesn't work out, there;s always divorce. And if I had a DD, even though I would be appalled if she wanted to be a 'housewife' I would still be inclined to let her find out for herself how fucking boring that is - and, again, better to do so while you're young enough.
TBH I consider a marriage like this more of a 'gap year' - they can't come to any real harm by it so let them enjoy it.

Well my sister fell in love at 14, got pregnant at 15, had the baby when she was 16, got married at 17 and it's now 30 years, two more children and a grandchild later and is still happy as a pig in poop.

Just because society has changed when everyone wants everything they can get and they want it now doesn't mean that the old values of an early marriage will not work.

Better to have the values these two youngsters have got rather than the 'chav' values of clothes, booze and sex.

Maybe if more teenagers were looking for a long term loving relationship rather than some quick satifaction and no thought for the consequences this country might be a better place to live and raise a family, less ferral youths and broken society and more family values and domesticity.

That doesn't mean we all have to be tied to the kitchen sink, but we shouldn't look down our noses at those who choose to do so.

Good for them, and nothing wrong with being a housewife either.
Its nice to see people of that age with the values of getting married and commiting properly rather than just bf/gf and moving to different partners. I hope they will have a happy marriage

there is plenty wrong with sitting at home,no job,no course,no care commitments,playing housey

she needs to complete her education
work or study
not fanny about aimlessly at home

I'm 20 and only just feel ready for something more than a normal relationship All the best to them I suppose, but I personally wouldn't! I want to enjoy being young before I have kids and whatnot! Though must admit that I'll happily marry my DP as soon as he asks

But still, housewife at 17 shudders My little sisters best mate has done the same though, she's not married but may as well be, she used to be so free spirited and for herself and is now the 'perfect housewife', very odd, especially in her case! But she loves it so I can't say anything bad!

Rather them than me still.

Reading through other responses (didn't realise there were two pages before ) I do think that those of you saying that it isn't surprising are right, it shouldn't be surprising when younger teens are having children. Though I think that very few teens are actually ready for these levels of commitment at their age. There are definately exceptions as there are in any case, however I think that young people should take advantage of being young to gain qualifications and enjoy life as there is plenty of time for marraige and families later on.

Nowdays having kids around 20 to 25 wouldn't do too much harm to a career later on, and it means that by 45 you've got the kids out of the home and can go travel/do your own thing again.

That's my plan anyways Stolen from my mother who gets her nearly 19yo youngest out of the house in three weeks and at 47 plans to do some travelling and drag my Dad far and wide (poor bastard haha)

Er don't they live in a room in her brother's house.

Exactly what does being a housewife entail when you just have one room?

Am sad at her lack of ambition.

I agree with StewieGriffinsMom and scottishmummy.

I don't really have a problem with them marrying at such a young age - it's not what I want for any of my daughters, I hope they see a bit more of life before they settle down, but this young couple are only doing what many couples did before the war.

However I do find it ridiculous that she has given up a job of 3 months to be a housewife; she hasn't a house to wife, just a room in a relative's house.

Sad that the sum total of her ambition is to have the fairy tale wedding and not think beyond that about her life and prospects.

I think they're incredibly young & wouldn't feel comfortable with one of my DC marrying at that age, however stranger things have happened & who are we to piss on their fire dampen their spirits

Good luck to them!